Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations all characters end up in. Everything else belongs to someone else and that's the way of it.

Happy Valentines Day a little early lol.

Humans Are Stupid

The less than impressed look Scorpius aimed in his direction had Albus mentally calling himself an idiot, especially since he really shouldn't be trying to tease or banter with the Slytherin when he'd seriously fucked up and broken his promise to Scorpius about keeping their arrangement to himself. And in all honesty he couldn't even really blame the alcohol either, because really he'd just been selfish. He'd been so focused on what he wanted that he'd pushed all the reasons he shouldn't be asking for help to the corner of his mind. He needed to apologize sincerely here and try to fix things, or he would deserve Scorpius kicking him out of his room while he was still starkers.

"Sorry. Sorry for what I said and the crappiness of m previous apology. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I broke my word, and I'm sorry that I did it for selfish reasons."

The way Scorpius's jaw dropped a little, paired with the look in the blond's eyes, made it clear that the proper apology had thrown him for enough of a loop that Scorpius was speechless. And that took some serious doing where this Malfoy was concerned.

Hoping he looked as sincere as he felt, Albus very tentatively reached out to lightly wrap his arms around the blond's waist, pulling him in until they were chest to chest as Albus maintained eye contact. Because yeah, he wasn't above using a little skin manipulation. He was dealing with a Slytherin here after all. "I really did tell them because I wanted their advice. The flowers didn't go over so well and…well they couldn't exactly help me if they didn't know who I fancied, now could they? Though it was still wrong for me to have done it."

"You and I can't date." It was said factually, like it was as much a given as the sun rising and setting every day.

Naturally it was on the tip of Albus's tongue to point out that technically they couldn't have children, and were a lot less closely related than the majority of Scorpius's families had been when they'd married, but he was in the dog house at the moment and knew it.

"Just because our families don't always get along that-"

"They never get along, Potter."

"Well my dad saved your dad's life a couple of times, and yours…might have…almost…well at least your grandmother sorta saved dad's life once even if it was for totally selfish reasons."

"You've lost what little brains you had."

Not liking where this was going, or the fact that Scorpius was showing zero interest in dating him, Albus tried another tact that usually worked. "Since when do you let your family dictate who you are and who you date? Worried what Daddy will say?"

If looks could kill….

"I'm just saying, I'm willing to look my dad in the eye and tell him we're dating."

Narrowed grey eyes flashed with derision. "You're bluffing."

"Am not. Wanna bet?"

"Please. You're half Weasley. He has to be used to your messed up sense of humor and take it for the joke you'd mean it. Or in this case to win a bet." Scorpius crossed his arms definitively, his body language screaming cocksureness. "At the end of the day though, you're Harry Potter's son. Everyone in the Magical World knows you, and they'll judge our ass to their last breathes if they knew you were sleeping with me, much less if we were actually dating. And my family gets enough hate mail as it is without me 'corrupting' Harry Potter's baby boy."

"You get hate mail? I mean aside from the ones from your poor students and their often justifiably outraged parents?"

The look Scorpius gave him now made it clear that yes, he thought Albus was completely stupid for even asking that question. Which natural made Albus want to have some strong words with those writer letters who had nothing better to do than harass his man for things that had happened way before Scorpius was born. The hate mail for his teaching style he got, but the rest was just bollocks. Scorpius wasn't warm and fuzzy like Snow, but he was still a person with feelings. Buried deep behind the man's scorn and derision towards the human and…well towards everyone, really, was a heart like everyone else's.

"Well I don't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks about us being together, and I'll tell them so. And okay, I won't say that to my family, but they'd only have to see you once in a while anyway. Temporary truces can be held for a few hours at a time." Albus hoped. James would struggle there, but his mum and Lily would keep his idiot brother in line for him. Once they got used to the idea themselves.

Seeing uneasiness entering into Scorpius's eyes, suggesting that it was finally sinking into the blond's thick skull that Albus was dead serious about this, Albus felt a little hope, since at least the jerk was thinking about it seriously now rather than flippantly. Though it was a little insulting to see how the idea that Albus was serious about wanting to date him was messing with the Slytherin's head something serious. It wasn't like they hadn't been sleeping together for a while now. And they'd actually slept together too, not just sex. You'd think the possibility would have at least entered his mind at some point.

But getting mad over that wouldn't help, so Albus opted not to say anything to keep the conversation going, figuring that he'd have more luck having an adult conversation with his man if he kept this talk as adult as possible. He'd make Scorpius pay for not thinking about him as date material later. When he wasn't trying to land solidly in Scorpius's good books, or at least as close to that as one could ever get when it came to his prickly Malfoy.

"I know I'm that good in bed, Potter, but thinking to keep me around by asking me out is just mad, even for a Gryffindor."

Ah. Being a complete and total arse. How skilled Malfoy men were in that regard.

So Scorpius was going to be predictable? He'd be unpredictable.

"Yeah. You're fucking amazing in bed, no pun intended. Best I've ever had. And you're smart and snarky, and I don't know why, but I'm starting to find your asseholeness kinda adorable. You're a puzzle I can't solve, and I genuinely am asking you to go out with me here. Please."

Yup, Scorpius had definitely not expected the honesty, and was actually looking a little slack jawed with shock now. And when the Slytherin did respond, there was a hint of vulnerability that had Albus's immediate attention as he took a few steps back from him.

"It would never work. No."

Suddenly feeling as naked on the inside as he was on the outside, damn but he wished he had his clothes on, Albus forced himself to move forward and reach out, flinching when Scorpius flinched a little in response to his touch, though the Slytherin didn't pull away as Albus's fingers just gently wrapped around Scorpius's arms.

"If you throw out the rest of the world and what they think…would you be interested in dating me?"

"There's no point in answering that. We aren't the only two people left on the planet, Potter."

"But if we were…?"

"Then you'd be the only one around to shag, now wouldn't you? I'd be stuck with you."

Okay. Yeah. Ouch. Line crossed and point made. Time to get out and regroup because a cornered, vulnerable Malfoy was a dangerous thing, Albus told himself. Especially when you were talking about this particular one. His Slytherin was fighting to verbally wound, and this was Scorpius just getting started.

"Alright, then. Even a Gryffindor can get a clue."

Albus managed a rueful smile as his hands dropped away, and then he turned and gave Scorpius his back so that he didn't have to hide his real thoughts and feelings as he walked over to collect his clothes and started getting dressed again.

For both their sakes Albus ignored the very pointed looks Scorpius was aiming in his direction while staying stubbornly silent. And dressed soon enough, Albus glanced over his shoulder to say good night, and then headed out without being called back.

)

Prancing down the hallway on his way to his rooms, Snow couldn't have been happier even if Yue had sort of ditched him earlier. But he understood, his friend had sensed that his person needed him, and Snow wasn't even worried about Albus because whatever was wrong with the nice human Yue would fix. He had absolute faith in the awesomeness of his bestest friend in the whole wide world. Plus it had been a very nice day because he got to meet Louis and Hugo and Rorake. They'd all petted him really good, and he'd really liked the way Louis had petted him and told him how cute and adorable he was. It wasn't right to disagree with one's person, Snow knew, but secretly he'd decided that his own person was wrong about Louis. Louis was good people.

And since he was in such a good mood Snow decided to break out into song as he stepped through his front door, belting it out as loud as he could as he headed in to see if his person was home or still visiting Yue's person.

"I feel fluffy, oh so fluffy
I feel fluffy and puffy and bright
And I pity any kneazle who isn't me tonight

I feel petted, oh so petted
It's alarming how petted I feel
And so fluffy that I hardly can believe I'm real."

"Oi! Furball! Get in here!"

Stopping in his tracks, his eyes going wide, Snow did a full body quiver of delight that his person was calling him. Wanted to see him! This was the bestest day ever!

Running as fast as his little legs could carry him in the direction of his owner's bedroom, Snow barely registered the fact that his person looked even paler than normal. The fact that the man was leaning over so that he could scoop Snow up was all Snow cared about as he made a beeline for the man's hands, making happy sounds that turned to a sorta squawk when he got jerked around a little as Scorpius flopped onto his back on his bed and deposited Snow on his chest. But his person's hand came up to hold him where he was, and that made Snow happy enough to rub up against his person's fingers while purring away to let him know how much he loved him and how happy he was.

"Why are you so fucking happy all the time? I treat you awful. I call you Fluffball for fuck sakes."

Snow wasn't sure what a couple of the words meant, and he'd have to ask Yue what they meant tomorrow, but he could see that his person was upset and that he didn't like.

And since he wanted his person to be as happy as he was, Snow wiggled until he was out of Scorpius's hold and quickly leapt up his human's chest until he could snuggle under the blond's chin, rubbing his fur there as he purred away, trying to convey the fact that he loved his person more than anyone else in the world. Even more than Yue, and Yue was his bestest friend and the greatest kneazle to ever live. But his person was his person, and Scorpius came first in Snow's mind.

"Ugh. What am I going to do with you, seriously?" A loud sigh, and then his person was relaxing a little under him, his hand coming up to gently rest over Snow in a way that made the feline really happy.

"What is he thinking? I mean really. He's completely lost his mind. Us? Dating? A couple? There are people who spent decades around Dementors who are saner than he is, if he thinks that could happen. Everyone would be against us even if I did want to date him, which I don't. You're luck you're an animal. Dating sucks."

Since his person couldn't understand him Snow made a questioning sound, needing more info so Yue could explain this all to him later.

"When you date someone, seriously date them anyway, you have to do lots of crappy things. You have to meet their stupid family and friends, and hang out with them whether you want to or not. You have to do things they like to do even if you don't want to, and you have to lie to them when they ask stupid questions about their appearance or something they've made you because if you don't, your ass is sleeping on the couch until you grovel like some weak spined Hufflepuff. And Scorpius Malfoy does NOT grovel. I'll shave my bloody head first."

Dating didn't sound fun at all, Snow silently agreed as he gave Scorpius more nuzzles, glad his person wasn't doing something so bad. Though what was wrong with sleeping on the couch? He did that all the time.

"The sex is not worth the hassle, and he's nuts if he thinks…well no, I'm fucking amazing in bed just like he said, but I can find someone else to shag easily enough, no dating needed. He'll find some other idiot to sleep with soon enough and…FUCK."

Jumping, and smacking up into his person's chin as a result of his person's harsh growl, Snow gave Scorpius some loving licks of apology and more nuzzling, the body under him even tenser than before while his person radiated unhappiness. Snow did his best to make the human feel better, but he didn't have a lot of success. His person needed Albus, Snow knew instinctively, but he was pretty sure that was who his person had had a fight with.

Hopefully they'd make up soon.

)

Staring at his human, who was currently in his Animagi form so that they could communicate with each other, Yue was tempted to draw back his paw and bitch slap the idiot across the face. Seriously. Not only had he had to listen to the man's sob story about what had happened after the moron had left to go jump Malfoy, which had been about as enjoyable as listening to Nearly Headless Nick bitch and complain about being excluded from the Headless Hunt, but now his person was actually looking for sympathy from him.

"Of course he said no. He's Malfoy!"

"You're supposed to be on my side!"

"Real friends tell friends when their heads are up their asses."

"I'd rather have Scorpius up my ass." Was Albus's bad tempered, decidedly pouty muttering in response to that, Yue wincing at the sentiment since he really didn't need a visual, thank you very much. "And it's not like I wasn't sincere or pretending like it wouldn't be hard to do. I KNOW everyone's going to think I'm mental and try and drag me to St. Mungo's to have my head examined. How can he not think we'd be worth that though? The sex alone is fucking worth it!"

"If you start talking about your sex life I'm leaving." Line in the sand. "And it's the fact that you gave up the way you did that makes you so stupid. You basically proved him right."

"He said no! What was I supposed to do, slip him a love potion?"

"No. What you should have done was use what brains you have to realize this is Scorpius Malfoy you're dealing with. Expecting him to behave and act like any of the other blokes you've dated in the past is the height of stupidity. He's the sort that expect everything on his terms and—"

"I didn't say that I'm in love with him!"

Yue hoped the look he sent in Albus's direction conveyed just how stupid and in denial the man was before he continued like his person had never interrupted. "—he's never been involved with someone like you either. He's probably never had a real relationship, period. And you folding like a deck of cards like this isn't going to convince him that you have the balls to take him on long term. Grow a set, Potter, and start plotting and planning like a Slytherin."

Albus opened his beak and then closed it, a silence descending as Yue could almost hear the gears starting to turn as the Gryffindor realized what Yue was telling him. Namely that anyone who gave up so easily on something they so clearly wanted didn't deserve to have it in the first place. All the best things in life were work, and worth fighting for.

It was a good ten minutes later before Albus finally spoke, his voice holding a hint of steel. "He isn't going to take it well, me not taking no for an answer. And no means no but…do you think he wants me to fight for him?"

"Would I be encouraging you if I didn't? And if my willingness to be stuck living with him for the rest of my life isn't proof of our bond, I don't know what the hell is."

In a flash Albus was back in his human form, and just that quickly Yue found himself scooped up into the man's arms and hugged hard, which he tolerated with a sigh.

The things he did for his person. Really.

)

Having finished his lunch the next day, not that he'd had the appetite to each much of anything, Scorpius left the Great Hall with a dark storm cloud all but hanging over his head as he headed down the hallway on his way back towards his classroom. Around him students gave him a wide berth, which Scorpius hardly noticed until he heard his name being shouted rather loudly in a young, female voice. Having a student actually yell at him was a rare enough occurrence that Scorpius not only didn't ignore it, but actually turned around to watch as the students behind him moved off to the side to clear the way for the girl marching towards him with a smile on her face that instantly had his Slytherin senses tingling.

A Gryffindor. Seventh year, if he wasn't mistaken, and not one of his students currently. Her grades hadn't been good enough to make it into his NEWT level classes. He couldn't recall her name or think of a reason why she would want to talk to him, and he was stull trying to figure out what she could be up to as she came to a stop in front of him, her hand coming up to draw his attention to the fact that she was holding a…red rose?

"It's from Professor Potter." She told him with a huge grin, tucking the rose into his robe pocket when he just gaped at her. "Bye."

And on that note the student sauntered off while Scorpius stared at her in shock, everyone else staring at him the same way.

What the hell?!