So, I can't sleep, and I have this all written up, so...enjoy.

Well, here it is. Chapter 1!

Disclaimer: No, I do not own Psych or Doctor Who. Thanks for bringing it up, though. *pouts*

Shawn Spencer was in his office, doing research in the hopes of finding a new case. Well, Gus was doing research. Shawn was trying to get the top score in Slitherio, a new computer game he recently discovered.

"Shawn, are you going to help me or not?" Gus snapped, having realized Shawn was not, in fact researching a new case.

"Of course I'll help, Gus. Just as soon as I eat this little snakey thing—dang it!" he cried, seeing his snake dissolve before his very eyes. "Oh, Pineapple Express, you were a good little snake-worm. You just couldn't make it. In my eyes, you'll always be…one of the greats."

"Are you done now, Shawn? Some of us have real jobs to do."

"Gus, don't be a newborn puppy nibbling a carrot. This game is quite informative and educational."

"That game is just you being a snake trying not to get eaten by other snakes. Chief Vick hasn't called in over a month. Aren't you even a little bit concerned?"

"I try to live in the moment. And at the moment, Pineapple Express the Second is trying to evade Hitler…" Shawn looked up. "Do they monitor these names?"

"Shawn"

Shawn was saved by the ringing of the phone. He quickly picked it up.

"Hello? Oh, Chief Vick, so good to hear from you." He looked at Gus, and mouthed "suck it."

"You suck it!"

"Oh, a case?" Shawn ignored Gus. "At the museum? We'll be right there." He hung up the phone.

"I call shotgun!"

"We're the only two people!"

"It never hurts to stay in practice for emergency shotgun-calling moments."

"Whatever, Shawn. C'mon."

*cue epic Doctor Who/Psych theme song mashup*

"Lassie!" Shawn exclaimed. "What have we got?"

Detective Carlton Lassiter gestured at the corpse, a young woman with pale skin and dark hair, her eyes burned out of her sockets, bits of dried blood around her mouth. Shawn also immediately noticed dried blood around her fingernails and inside her ears.

Gus gagged.

"Meet Anna Graystone, age 28, museum tour guide, single, parents deceased, one sister, Nicole, lives in Canada." Lassiter stated.

"Dude, Anna has seen better days." Shawn muttered to Gus.

"Obviously! The girl is dead, Shawn!" Gus whisper-shouted.

"Her eyes, though. Look at them."

"I'd rather not, Shawn."

"But look, they aren't just burned out. It looks like they melted. Whoever did this must have used some kind of poison that not only causes disgustingly bloody mouths, but eye melting-ness as well. What does that?"

"Nothing, Shawn! There is no poison that I can think of that causes your eyes to melt!"

"I AM GETTING A VISION! ANNA GRAYSTONE…was murdered."

"Yeah, Shawn. We've already figured that out." Juliet sounded only moderately exasperated.

"By…an alien."

"Oh, come off it, Spencer. You tried the alien theory before, remember?" Lassiter said. "If you're going to waste our time, at least be original about it."

"This alien," Shawn continued, ignoring Lassiter completely. "climbed inside our victim, and turned her insides into bloodied Jell-O pudding."

"There is an unusual amount of blood surrounding her orifices..." Lassiter noted.

"It's disgusting that you would even notice that about a corpse. You should be looking around her eyes, ears, mouth, and wherever else your head would have a hole."

"Let's get this body to the morgue. Maybe Woody can tell us more."

Suddenly, Lassiter's phone began to ring.

"Detective Carlton Lassiter….yes, Chief. We can be there in about ten minutes…Do they have to come along?...Fine." He hung up and looked at his group. "There's been reports of screams over by the pier. It could be another victim. Come on."

Well? I promise, the Doctor will appear in the next chapter.

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