Title: Pocket Prompto
Genre: Humor, friendship
Summary: A chocobo hunt goes wrong. Prompto has to put his trust in his fellow blonde to save his dignity.
Chapter 15: Pocket Prompto
Lunafreya carefully pushed leaves aside and peered through the small gap to eye on her target. She glanced to her right where she saw Prompto readying his gun, filled with a single tranquilizer dart. Luna grimaced and shook her head wondering how the freckled man had managed to talk her over to join him on such inane antics. Their prey was a wild black chocobo. The young bird was at its physical peak; its glossy feathers implied good health and its strong nimble legs promised great speed.
The next day was August 30th, Noctis' birthday. Lunafreya hadn't thought much of it. She hadn't celebrated her birthday since Vesper's death. He had insisted on bringing her sylleblossoms every year and helped her make a flower crown out of them. She dared to wear it only when retiring to bed and let the flowers' sweet aroma lull her to dreamless sleep. She had truly treasured those rare moments of peace, free from the waking nightmare and the constant unnerving presence of Leviathan.
Prompto wanted to make Noctis' 21th birthday special. After all the tragedy and doom and gloom that had happened, the blond believed the prince required something that he'd remember for years to come. Something that Lunafreya believed to be highly unpractical in the grand scheme of things. How was one to drag an adult chocobo when they were constantly on the move on four wheels? Even she had discarded the idea of bringing Umbra and Pryna along, no matter how loyal and helpful they could be.
Their – Prompto's really – plan was to slow the magnificent bird with a tranquilizer. They had purchased only a mild sedative, not wishing to give a drug overdose. Luna had asked the other blond how he planned on dragging a drowsy feathered carcass twice their size back to the camp. Prompto had proudly straightened his posture and announced that a well-aimed mini spell would solve their problems. As ridiculous as the harebrained idea of his sounded Luna couldn't help but agree that it was a solid plan. A wacky plan, but still an effective one.
And that's how she found herself huddled between vegetation covered in dirt and leaves. Her feet were hovering few centimeters above the ground thanks to a weak float spell she had cast on herself and Prompto to avoid alerting the chocobo with their footsteps. She saw Prompto cock and take a careful aim. She began to chant the mini spell under her breath.
A sharp snap of dry twigs alerted both the chocobo and the two humans. A brown blur of lean muscle, razor claws and snapping jaws accompanied by a long thin tongue lolling between its fangs charged from the rustling leaves. The chocobo narrowly avoided the canine's attack and let out a high pitched kweh in panic before sprinting off. The sabertusk chased the bird and was soon followed by a full pack of hungry hounds. Prompto cursed and stood up.
Luna was about to suggest leaving when a low growl froze the two blonds in their tracks. A ragged sabertusk that was clearly past its prime years emerged into their view. It slowly circled Prompto, its gleaming eyes calculating and seizing its prey. Prompto took aim and shot the tranquilizer dart just as the creature bounced on him. With a dull thump the blond's gun fell from his grip as he tried to keep the bloodthirsty mutt from his person with bare hands. In panic Luna finished her mini spell that she had been holding on standby and cast it towards the wrestling man and predator.
Suddenly Prompto lost his hold on the canine and looked up in confusion as the sabertusk staggered forward with the loss of resistance. Slowly the tranquilizer begun to overpower it and its limbs grew heavy. With a final frustrated growl the hound stumbled and passed out.
Prompto let out a sigh of relief and allowed his back connect with the soft forest floor. He eyed his surroundings curiously as realization slowly dawned on him.
He had shrunk. A lot.
"Prompto?"
Luna's shadow hid the sun and covered him completely.
"Still alive", he squeaked in a voice that resembled more of chipmunk's than a man's. His hands shot up to cover his mouth as his eyes widened in embarrassment. A gentle pair of hands carefully picked him up and brought him to face Luna's blue eyes that struggled to decide between worry and amusement. Eventually amusement won and a giggle shook her entire body.
"This is not how I envisioned this hunt to go, yet somehow I should've seen this coming considering what sort of plan we were relying on." She pocketed Prompto's normal sized gun and begun to walk back towards their camp. No point lingering with a knocked out beast that could spring back to life at any moment. She didn't deem it necessary to kill it either. Let nature take its course.
Prompto sat up and let his tiny legs dangle between the gaps of Luna's fingers. "What'll we do now? Can you change me back?"
Luna's giggles stopped abruptly as she stared at the tiny man on her palm. "I thought you had the antidote."
"I thought you had it."
A slender brow rose in defiance. "It was your plan. You didn't ask me to bring anything with me." The tiny man groaned and rubbed his face with his palms.
"You wouldn't happen to know a reverse spell?"
Luna tapped her chin in thought. "Afraid not. Ignis might know where to get an antidote."
"There has to be another way. Ignis is still mad at me for switching his glasses with fake ones."
Luna knew better than to ask why on Eos Prompto would pull a prank like that. "How about we ask Noct? He probably knows how to cast Esuna."
Prompto fidgeted uncomfortably. Luna's brow rose in suspicion. "What did you do?" The tiny man lowered his face and fumbled with his hands. Luna had to really strain to hear what the other blond was mumbling.
"He might have gone through the photos on my camera and found few that I had taken while you two were cuddling in Lestallum."
She could feel blood rush to her cheeks and was glad Prompto wasn't looking up. She should've known privacy was simply not a privilege she would ever enjoy. Thankfully she and her betrothed had not done anything too intimate. There had been that chaste kiss he had placed on her brow in the escalator, but that was hardly anything to be too embarrassed about.
Then why was she acting like a school girl who had been caught tongue-wrestling with her first crush? Best she not think about it.
Once Luna was certain her cheeks had faded back to their regular brown hue she cleared her throat to regain the shrunken man's attention. "Fine, we'll go check the store at the gas station and see if they have anything. I wouldn't be too hopeful, if I were you. I don't think they sell 'mallets' outside pharmacies."
"'Mallets'?" Prompto didn't like the sound of that. "You think this temporary shrinking can be cured with a good ol' wooden mallet to the head? That's like saying you can transform pigs into humans with diet food."
Luna's chuckle did nothing to reassure the agitated man.
The only settlement within 20km radius was an old rundown gas station with a decent sized grocery store. Prompto insisted on hiding in Luna's jacket's pocket just in case they should run to the other three men.
A cheery doorbell rang as Luna entered the store. She navigated through the claustrophobic maze of tall shelves and eventually found the medicine section. It was mostly packed with regular first aid supplies as well as antidotes against the most common poisons one could get from the local wildlife. As expected there were no mallets.
"Can I help you, miss?" The cashier came to assist her.
"I'm looking for mallets. Or something similar that reverses the shrunken effect." The man gave her a strange look. Luna rubbed her hands together anxiously as she tried to come up with a decent excuse on the run without revealing the tiny blond's blight. "You see, I, uh, was target practicing spell-casting and accidently shrunk my… Dog."
It stung her pride slightly to make herself out to be a ditz, but this was her friend's problem she was talking about. And she didn't need the cashier to off-handedly mention it to the other men should he be bit by a gossip-bug when the men would do their shopping later that day. Better she be a dumb blonde than Prompto be a laughing stock. Luna had noticed how much the young man struggled to prove his worth to the rest of the group.
"I'm afraid we have nothing of the sort here. Closest pharmacy is in Lestallum."
A loud high-pitched groan overlapped the pleasant background music playing on the radio. Luna stared at the cashier with wide eyes. The man in turn looked around to discern where the odd sound had come from. She thanked the man and hurried outside the store, before the cashier could ask any questions regarding the noise.
"What'll we do now?" As silly as the whole situation was Luna couldn't help but feel her heart ache in sympathy for the freckled man.
"I can try making a homemade version of mallet. But it's been many years since I practiced making potions and such for ailments."
"How many years exactly?" Prompto squeaked uncertainly. She had hoped he wouldn't ask.
"Eleven."
"Oh. Well, that's not so bad. I think." She could sense his optimism fading.
"I did not realize you had studied alchemy, Lady Lunafreya", Ignis commented. He had smelled a peculiar scent of dried herbs emitting from the prince and Luna's shared tent and came to investigate.
"It's been awhile. I cannot let all my skills be forgotten for lack of use." What she failed to mention was the small fact that she had no idea what she was doing. She had no recollection of what mallet was even made of. It wasn't one of those life threatening ailments that she felt the need to master. She had been more concerned with antidotes for poisons the like.
Vesper had once instructed the handmaidens to drug the food served within her mansion and given the antidote to the staff; an antidote she had made with Vesper's guidance. Once the Niflheimian soldiers had been too busy with stomach pains and splitting headaches Luna had snuck out and went to meet the High Priest to discuss her visions of Leviathan in the safety of a confession booth. After that incident MTs had been posted to guard every exit of her home. She should've attempted to escape that night, but on hindsight she realized she wouldn't have made it far on her own at such a young age. They would've found her. They always did.
"We are indeed running low on echo herbs. They'll surely be of great use later on."
Luna turned to stare at the herbs she was grinding. She cursed mentally and awkwardly smiled at the royal advisor.
"Yes, my thoughts exactly!" She mentally went through all the ailment curing recipes she recalled and crossed out 'Attempt nro. 3'. The next one would surely be the right one. Surely.
Ignis sat down next to her and watched her work in silence. Slightly unnerved she figured she might as well finish the echo herbs and not raise any suspicion. She could feel Prompto squirm restlessly in her pocket. Sometimes a frustrated squeak could be heard, but she purposely ignored it. Ignis didn't seem to pay any attention to the occasional sound. Maybe he rationalized it as a sound of wildlife.
Luna moved outside where she had a small cooking pot ready by the fire.
"Ignis, could you please finish these potions while I start making a new patch? I'm guessing you know how the rest goes."
"Yes. Although I admit your – what I presume to be Tenebraean – methods are quite different from what I was taught at the academy."
Luna hurried back to her tent and let Prompto out of her pocket to stretch his legs. She immediately set on working on the next set.
Seeing as the woman used all her concentration on her work, Prompto used his chance to take a look around. He had wanted to take a peek at the couple's tent for a while, but it was never unoccupied. He could clearly see which side was his best friend's and which was Luna's. On the left side of the sleeping bags were neatly folded spare clothing, backpack and rapier while on the right side was what one could only call a mess. Clothes were thrown into a black undistinguishable bundle. He could see few play cards poking between the folds as well as a red covered notebook that the man had carried with him for as long as Prompto had known the prince. He was certain that was the notebook Noctis collected his letters from Luna to.
As he carefully walked around the massive pile he noticed the wooden black chocobo he had gotten for Noctis sitting next to a wooden Carbuncle. He had seen the blue fox-like figure once before, but didn't realize the prince still carried it with him. Noctis had once told him about his near death experience and how he had woken from his coma to the sight of its friendly face looking down at him. It was the only memento he had of his father.
Prompto turned on his heel to go back to Luna's side. He almost felt like he was intruding on something very personal that was not meant for him to see. As he approached the gleaming metal of Luna's rapier he almost ran into the most hideous looking creature he had ever seen. He barely managed to muffle his surprised yell as he stared at the yellow painted eyes of a wooden imp figure. It didn't look nearly as harmless as it had when he had seen Noctis finger it at the festival stand. But now as Prompto was the exact same height as the souvenir he couldn't help but feel unnerved. Its ugly skeletal hands were pointed outwards as if readying to lunge. Its numerous sharp teeth reminded him of the snapping jaws of the sabertusk he had barely avoided earlier that day.
Wait a minute. Noct said he got that ugly thing because he thought it reminded him of someone. Prompto turned to stare at the white clad woman who was removing a fruit's skin and grinding it to a fine powder. Luna reminds Noct of an… imp?
There had to be something going on between those two that he wasn't aware of. He knew Luna had a sense of humour and that it wasn't as obvious as his and Gladio's jokes. But he wasn't aware she was mischievous. Maybe she had more in common with him than he had originally thought! He should team up with her sometime to do some mischief on the other men.
"Alright. Think it's done. Give it a try."
"Can't we try it on something else first? Maybe use a mini spell on something inanimate?" The potion smelled foul. He was aware that the potions sold at stores and pharmacies had added floral scents to make them more appealing. Still, his internal alarm bells were ringing loudly at the sight of the raw potion.
"I'm afraid it has to be ingested." Prompto walked slowly towards the spoon Luna had placed in front of him. Hesitantly he placed his small hands on the edges of the spoon to steady himself and drank from the spoon as an animal would from a lake. He smacked his lips thoughtfully and came to the conclusion it didn't taste nearly as bad as it smelled. Come to think of it, it didn't smell as bad as he had initially thought.
Luna dropped her spoon and stared at him in bewilderment. He felt a little taller than before, but not much. Maybe he should drink more of it to get back to his real size? He voiced his thoughts, but all that came out was a ribbit.
Prompto startled and looked at his hands. They had turned green and sinewy. He felt sticky, like he was covered in rubber. His enormous stomach made it impossible to look at his feet, but he was fairly certain what he would see.
"I really hope Ignis doesn't use toad legs in his cooking."
Prompto began to panic. Had he been human he would've been hyperventilating, but all he could manage in his new form was croak franticly. Without thinking he began to hop across the tent trying to find an exit.
"Prompto! Calm down! It's okay, I'll think of something!" Luna attempted to catch him, but he was a slippery bugger. He felt a thrill shot through him and felt nearly invincible. It didn't last long as Luna took the closest cloth at hand and threw it over him. He struggled, but couldn't find a way underneath what he presumed was a shirt. She wrapped the cloth around him and held him close to her chest. Only his green head poked from underneath the cloth prison.
Luna wrecked her brain as she tried to recall from her childhood the brief lessons she had gotten from Vesper as well as old wives' tales that her handmaidens liked to tell her. All she could remember was something about a maiden's kiss. But that couldn't be it, could it? It must be just a name for the antidote, not an actual literal maiden's kiss.
She was out of ideas. Might as well give it a try, you never know.
"Okay, this is going to be weird for both of us." She could swear Prompto's already wide eyes grew even wider as she leaned in to kiss his slimy head.
Just as her luck would have it she heard the tent's zipper open. All three of them froze and stared at each other awkwardly.
"You know", Noctis began, his voice surprisingly calm. "I refuse to give you a goodnight kiss tonight." Luna hastily removed her lips from Prompto and wiped them on her sleeve.
"If you felt the need to practice kissing you could've just told me." Noctis sat down next to her. "No need to scar poor wildlife."
The tips of Luna's ears flushed bright red in embarrassment. Prompto wasn't sure if the situation called for a hearty thigh-slapping laugh or ashamed tears. He felt like doing both.
The blonde woman kept her cool. "I needed to extract the frog slime for a potion. It's more effective mixed with human saliva." Luna was fairly certain she had just reached her daily bullshit high score.
Noctis wrinkled his nose. "Gotta say I admire your willingness to sacrifice your mouth hygiene for couple of potions. Just don't tell me which potion uses frog slime, I really don't wanna know."
"Fair enough." She hoped he wouldn't mention this to Ignis. The man was already finding her potion brewing process questionable.
"Ignis finished the potions. Do you want privacy to finish making out with the frog?" Luna grimaced and shoved his side with her elbow.
"Funny."
Noctis grinned in return. "I try to be." His face turned thoughtful. "You haven't seen Prompto, have you?"
Luna visibly tensed and Prompto let out what could only be a frog's version of a gasp.
"N-no, I haven't. Think he said something about chocobos."
"Chocobos, huh? He's probably in the forest. Said he saw a glimpse of a wild chocobo earlier."
"Indeed!" Luna nervously smoothened her jacket. Noctis cast her a curious look before standing up.
"Right. Well, I'll go see which featherhead I find first; him or a bird." As soon as the prince's form had left the tent both woman and frog let out a long sigh of relief.
Too close.
Luna was running out of ideas fast. None of her potions were working. She had sneaked into the men's tent and rummaged through Ignis' potions, but none of them were labeled as mallets or maiden's kisses. There were few labelless bottles, but she didn't dare give them a try after the disaster of her self-made potions. Prompto still refused her suggestion of asking Ignis or Noctis for help. It had been an hour since the dark haired man had left to search for his best friend. She rubbed her face in frustration.
The familiar gruff voice of the royal bodyguard could be heard outside: "Ignis, dinner time soon, yeah?" Gladio had returned. A thought begun to form in the Tenebraean's mind. If she couldn't let the men know of Prompto's condition nor could she cure him herself…
She exited the tent leaving a confused Prompto behind.
"Luna", Gladio greeted as he sat next to the fire on one of the camping chairs. She politely nodded and smiled in return.
"Ignis, could I assist you with cooking? It would be only fair since you assisted me with the potions." Ignis seemed pleased with the idea.
Half an hour later Noctis returned to camp.
"Still no sign of Prompto?"
The prince sighed and shook his head. "No. Not like him to just disappear like that."
Ignis finished stirring the stew and Luna begun to fill the plates. She made an act to accidently drop one of the plates. Ignis, ever the gentleman, hurried to pick it up for her. During those few seconds of distraction she emptied her toad-potion on Gladiolus' plate. She offered each man their plate and settled down next to Noctis.
"I'll go check the gas station. He might've found something he can't afford and lost track of time drooling at it", Gladio offered. He made a move to get up, but Luna hurried to him and pushed him back to sit down.
"Eat first! You've been out hiking and hunting most of the day, can't have you go on with an empty stomach." The muscular man hardly needed any more persuasion.
Luna watched as Gladiolus ate and with each bite his skin turned greener and his limbs thinner and skin slimier. Within ten seconds he was a toad.
Ignis had halted mid bite to openly stare at the tattooed man while Noctis didn't notice the transformation at all until Ignis choked on his food.
"The hell? How did that happen?" Noctis sputtered as he stared at his companion.
"Am not sure", Ignis frowned and stared at his plate doubtfully. "Highness, are you feeling strange?"
Noctis sniffed at his half-finished plate and rolled his shoulders, but sensed nothing out of ordinary. "Nope, nothing."
"I'm fine as well", Luna tentatively offered. "Is there anything you two can do to reverse it?"
"Hold on a moment", Ignis went to the three men's tent and fetched a labelless bottle. "I bought a few remedies while we were at Lestallum."
Ignis poured the clear liquid on a spoon and stuffed it in frog-Gladio's mouth. He croaked in annoyance for such rough handling, but within seconds the tattooed man was back to normal. Luna discreetly switched her and Gladiolus' plates and hid the poisoned food. She hurried to her tent mumbling something about needing a napkin. She found Prompto lying on his back on her bedroll looking as miserable as an invertebrate could.
"I've got a fool proof cure this time. Come", she carefully picked him up and placed in her jacket's pocket. She'd have to be swift and stealthy.
Ignis and Gladiolus were discussing and backtracking what the bodyguard had been doing previous to his sudden transformation. Noctis noticed something move at the edge of his vision and turned his head to see Luna snatch the remedy bottle before disappearing behind the tents. He remembered the frog he had seen in his and Luna's tent. He had a good idea that he'd see his best friend very soon. He returned back to his food.
"Ahhh, I'm so hungry I could eat a full-grown Garula on my own!" Prompto's announced as he appeared from behind the tents.
The two older men turned to the freckled blond. "Good to see you found your way back. We were beginning to get worried", Gladio greeted. Ignis offered a plate to the younger man who immediately dove in while shouting out compliments to the chef.
Luna arrived as well, thanked Ignis for the meal and collected her plate to go wash it in the nearby lake. Noctis picked his finished plate as well and followed her.
"So, you think kissing my best friend behind my back is considered cheating?"
Luna rolled her eyes and turned around to face her betrothed.
"Technically, it was in front of you." Noctis grinned and ruffled her blond locks. She swatted his offending hand away and hurried to the edge of the lake.
"What I really wanna know is how in the world he ended up as a frog of all things. Did you drug his food like Gladio's?"
Luna dug a small hole next to the lake and buried the poisoned food in it. She then sat down by the bank and begun to scrub the plate. "It's a really long story. It began with his scatterbrained idea of getting you a wild chocobo as a birthday gift. I accidently shrunk him and he absolutely refused to ask help from you or Ignis."
"Wait, hold on. What?" The prince let out a small flabbergasted laugh. "A wild chocobo?" Luna gave in and told him the whole story.
"You know, sometimes you take this secrecy a bit too seriously. I mean, I get you don't want any of us to lose our face, but you gotta understand that we've been friends for a long time. We might get a laugh out of it for a few days, but eventually we forget and find the next thing to laugh at."
"I understand." She really should've gone to Ignis right away and ignored the freckled blond's pleas. "I will from now on let everybody know if there's a problem with one of us", she vowed solemnly. "I will also tell them that you refuse to order drinks that you deem unmanly." She stood up and begun to head back towards the camp. She managed three steps before the prince rushed to her in a fit of panic and tackled her to the soft shore sand.
"No-no-no! Some things are not meant for everyone to know!"
"Fine! Just between us!" she squirmed underneath his weight. "Now get off me", she wheezed.
"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" Prompto's easygoing grin was easy to spot even in the evening light.
"Yes!"
"No, you're not. Help!"
Prompto glanced back and forth between his two friends. He pulled Noct off Luna. "Sorry, buddy. She saved my butt too many times today for me to ignore a plea for help", he turned to help Luna on her feet and assisted her brush sand off her clothes.
"What brings you here?" Noctis gathered his and Luna's plates and eyed curiously the freckled man.
"Oh! Right. Luna, I brought you this", he gave her a plateful of stew. "I'm guessing you sacrificed your portion to keep Gladio from getting a second go at being a toad. Don't want you go hungry after you went so much trouble for me."
"Thank you", she smiled genuinely and accepted the plate.
Noctis slung his arm casually around his best friend. "Prompto, what was this I heard about a wild chocobo?"
"About that", the blond trailed off and twiddled his thumbs. "We could, uh, give it another go tomorrow? All five of us so there won't be any unfortunate accidents."
Noctis chuckled and gave Prompto a rough pat on the back. "You sure you just don't want the chocobo to yourself? I don't think we have enough room in the car for one."
"We do if we keep it mini'ed while driving!"
Luna choked as food entered the wrong pipe.
Here we go again.
A/N: Sorry for not updating for a while. I had the basic concept of 'Prompto gets accidently mini'd' before I even finished last chapter. I might write one more chapter with Gladio+Luna and Noctis+Luna if I get any ideas and then end the story there.
It's funny how whenever I try to write humor it ends up semi-angst. This whole chapter was pretty brainless and out of character.
Guest1995: Gentiana wasn't in last few chapters because she only appears in chapter 12. You have to remember that each chapter is a separate short story and they're not in a chronological order. In fact, I see chapter 12 as the final chapter of New moon. The original plan was to have Luna go lunatic (see what I did there, hoho) and Noctis having to kill her to save Altissia, but figured that was too dark. Plus I wanted to write a few more chapters and felt her dying and then being alive in the next chapter would be a bit disorienting.
If you want to see more of Gentiana, I recently wrote a oneshot story that features Luna, Noctis and Gentiana. It's called "Tattoo".
I've been thinking about deleting the first chapter and replacing it with chapter 16. Chapter 1 is pretty clumsily worded and unnecessarily melodramatic, I think. I might later arrange the chapters in order to make it a more smooth reading experience. If anyone's interested the "official" timeline of this story goes like this:
13 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 8 - 9 - 11 - 10 - 6 - 7 - 14 - 15 - (16 & 17) - 12
If people are interested in seeing drawings for New moon (and other FFXV fanart), I have posted quite a bit on my tumblr. Just Google "haprilona tumblr".