Gokudera's mouth gapes open but he can't seem to formulate words, the scene he had just seen left him in a sort of daze as a million things cross his mind. The guards guild him into the elevator and one of them laughs.
"Man, I knew she was good but that was inspired!" He nudges Gokudera. "Your guys' sex life must rock!"
He chuckles as the elevator stops and the other guard pushes Gokudera into the hall, saying.
"Well kid, have fun with the new and improved Phoenix."
Gokudera barely registers the words as he slowly walks back to the room, dropping down on the couch.
"What...was that? She was...smiling...The whole fucking time she was smiling! How? Why?" His head falls into his hands. "So that's what she meant. That was the real 'Phoenix.'" A sudden thought crosses his mind. "If she was capable of doing that now...what's to say she ever really changed? What if she slips back to that? I don't think I could fight her...And even if I could...could I even win?" Gokudera shook his head viciously. "NO! She's not like that anymore! She won't go back to that. I know she won't."
This internal debate goes on for thirty more minutes and only stops because Phoenix walks in the door, going straight for the balcony as blood drip off her fingers. Gokudera's eyes widen as he notices the blood dripping off her fingers and he slowly gets up from the couch and walk over to the balcony.
"A-Aydan..." The only response is that Phoenix flinches away from him as he comes closer and glances at him continually, like an animal that has been beaten repeatedly and is expecting another blow. Gokudera quickly puts his hands in his pockets to restrain himself from touching her. "Aydan, look at me."
Phoenix backs away from him while making herself as small as possible, never meting his eyes.
"Stay away...stay back..."
The fear is clear in her voice, Gokudera frowns and has a worried expression on his face.
"Aydan, I'm not going to hurt you. Just...please, listen to me. We need to go inside. You're dripping everywhere..."
Phoenix's takes another step away from him.
"Don't come any closer!" She presses herself back into the wall. "Just...just stay back."
Gokudera bites his lip.
"What should I do? I don't want to touch her, she might freak out. But...this is going nowhere."
"Aydan, so you want to come inside? It's warmer in there then it is out there."
Phoenix looks at him with no trust and it breaks Gokudera's heart.
"Why...what do you have planned?" She takes another step away. "I warn you...I-if you hurt me...Ces will kill you...he will"
Gokudera looks confused. She didn't recognize him and he didn't know why.
"A-Aydan? I'm not going to hurt you." He slowly inches closer. "No one's going to hurt you anymore Aydan." He holds out his hand to her. "I promise."
"That's a lie." Phoenix flinches as if she's expecting a hit and when none comes she looks up hesitantly. "Ces says that the only think people can do is hurt each other and that the only people we can trust is each other."
"Well he's wrong Aydan. You can trust other people. It just...depends on who it is."
Phoenix looks at Gokudera's outstretched hand in fear.
"How do you know my name? W-Who are you?"
Gokudera bites the inside of his cheek as he quickly tries to think of a response.
"I'm...I'm a friend. You might not believe me but...I'm just like you. I don't have anybody and I know Rea-Cesar. I know him and he's told me a lot about you. He told me to come and protect you since he's not here right now."
"You know Ces?" Phoenix's face lights up. "Well I guess you'd have to know him to know his nickname. Don't tell him I said this but 'Reaper' is such a stupid nickname."
Gokudera smiles, Phoenix was starting to act a little bit like herself again.
"Yeah, I know him, you're right, it's kinda stupid. So come on, you need to get washed up."
"Washed up?" Aydan looks down at her hands and her eyes go wide. "What? No...NO! Not again!" She drops to her knees, her eyes staying trained on her hands. "Not again...not again..."
The pain is so clear in Phoenix's voice that Gokudera can't restrain himself and he falls down next to her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and hugging her.
"It's okay Aydan. It's fine. It wasn't your fault."
"DON'Y TOUCH ME!"
Phoenix screams as she tears herself away from Gokudera and runs inside. Gokudera's teeth clench as he punches the floor, he had made a mistake and now Phoenix was farther away.
"Damn it!"
He looks down dejectedly, thinking.
"What should I do?" Gokudera could tell that Phoenix had somehow reverted back to the way she was while still in the system and because of that he knew he needed to be careful with her. She had been beaten a lot and there was no way that she was just going to trust him without cause. "I just have to...show her that I'm not going to hurt her."
Gokudera gets back up, wishing that he didn't have to prove that he meant Phoenix no harm, and goes inside to find Phoenix. He doesn't have to look far because Phoenix is standing in the kitchen door holding a frying pan.
"Where's Ces...Please, I need Ces..."
"He's not here right now Aydan. I'm here. It's me. Hayato." Gokudera searches Phoenix's face for some sign of recognition but finds none. "Aydan, please remember me. We've met before. Don't you remember me at all? You said you'd never forget...you said you'd always love me."
Phoenix's brow furrows as she slowly speaks.
"I...love you?" Gokudera nods, the sadness in his eyes seem to trigger a flood of broken images in Phoenix's mind. Sitting against a wall and watching him walk closer, looking excited but trying to hide it. His face barely an inch from hers, his eyes pleading . Him kneeling in front of her, speaking to her with worry in his eyes. Waking up next to him, their fingers interlaced. She closes her eyes and shakes her head. "Please...Hayato...I need Ces. He has my fix and I need my fix."
Gokudera's eyes widen in disbelief, he knew that Phoenix had done drugs but not that Reaper had given them to her.
"He…He gave you that stuff?"
"It...It helps with the nightmares. Please, you say you know me, then you must know how much I need this right now."
Tears appear in Phoenix's eyes but she holds them back while Gokudera grinds his teeth.
"I know you Aydan. And I know how much you depend on them but...I can't. I can't just stand by and see you ruin yourself like this. Sure, it might help with the nightmares but it's wrong. What Reaper has been doing is wrong!" He feels the urge to grab Aydan by the shoulders and shake her but doesn't, that would not help him at all. So he kneels in front of her instead, taking her hand in his. "You might not remember me Aydan...but I love you. All of this, all of what's happening, I don't get it. But...please...please, come back to me...I love you."
Gokudera feels tears fall down his face but makes no attempt to wipe them away. When she had died, Gokudera thought he knew what true heartbreak felt like but this...seeing Phoenix stand in front of him and not know him. Gokudera could feel his heart breaking into a million little pieces. The pain only increased when Phoenix pulls her hand out of his and takes a few steps away from him.
"Please don't touch me." Images still flow through her mind. Him carrying her down a hall. Waking up from a nightmares and him holding her. Making eggs together. Her kissing him with a smile. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "You-you're name sounds familiar...I hear it...a-and I get this feeling in my chest...Like I can do anything. I...nobody can love me..." Phoenix falls to her knees. "Hayato...help me...please."
Tears roll down her face and Gokudera pushes back his own tears, he knew that he had to be strong for her.
"I'll help you Aydan. But you have to let me." He stands and once again offers his hand to her. "You have to trust me."
Phoenix looks at his offered hand and shakes her head.
"I can't touch people...every person I touch is hurt..."
"It's okay Aydan. Nothing's going to happen to me. I promise. Just trust me."
Phoenix's eyes flit between Gokudera's hand and his eyes.
"But..." She sighs. "I...I trust you." Phoenix takes Gokudera's hand, realizing how warm his hand feels against hers. Normally others feel cool due to her high temperature but not Hayato. Gokudera gently helps her off the floor and Phoenix looks away from his searching mint green eyes. "I'm getting blood on you."
"I've had blood on me before, I'm fine." He tightens his hand around hers and guilds her to the bathroom, turning on the water and getting the soap. "Do you need help or do you want to wash them yourself?"
Gokudera looks up at Phoenix when she doesn't respond and sees her looking in the mirror, her eyes focused on her necklace. Tears silently room down her face. Hayato frowns but doesn't ask again, he takes off his rings and rubs the soap onto his hands, taking her hands and running his hands on hers. He feels the smoothness of the top before turning over her palm and feeling the calluses from all the years as a hit-man. The silver-haired teen starts to trace the lines of Phoenix's hands as he rubs the soap along each individual finger, taking his time so as to enjoy the feeling of her skin. Without meaning to, his hands intertwines with Phoenix's but he quickly lets go and brings her hands under the water to rinse them. Phoenix doesn't seem to notice Gokudera's actions but asks quietly to no one.
"Why didn't I die then...why didn't I leave the closet..." She turns to Gokudera. "Why aren't I dead yet?"
Gokudera starts, caught off-guard by Phoenix's question.
"You're not dead yet because it's not your time yet. You and I had to meet before anything could happen to you."
"Why?"
"Because you change me for the better Aydan. I'm a better man because of you."
Gokudera smiles softly and begins to dry her hands with a towel.
"So I can die now?"
Gokudera's eyes suddenly become intense and full of passion.
"No!" He sees her flinch away as he yells and softens his tone. "Even when you're time does come, I won't ever let you die."
"Why not?" She staggers slightly and falls into Gokudera, but instead of flinching away from the contact, she just stays there. "Why..."
"Because I love you Aydan. And I always will." He picks her up and carries her to the couch, laying her down gently. "Here, lay here for a bit. I'll be right back." Gokudera jogs up to the bedroom, picking up the phone to call Reaper. "How fast can you get a baby grand piano into my room?"
"Three minutes? Why? Don't you like the new Phoenix?"
Gokudera tenses up.
"I love her just fine. Just get that piano to me asap."
Gokudera hangs up and goes back into the living room to find Phoenix curled up on the couch, her head tucked against her chest. Gokudera frowns sadly and sits at the table until three minutes later, Reapers men show up with the piano and set it up in the middle of the lounge area. He waits until they have left and he can hear the elevator before sitting down on the stool and running his fingers along the black and white keys.
"It's been so long..." Doubt fills Gokudera's mind until a single glance at the curled up form of Phoenix pushes it away. "I'm doing this for her."
He takes a deep breath and plays the first song that comes to mind. Beethoven's Moonlight sonata starts to play as Gokudera presses his slim fingers onto the keys, glad that the piece has a soft and soothing tone to it because that is exactly what Phoenix needs. Gokudera closes his eyes as he feels his fingers start to play on their own, his mind flowing back to when his mother first taught him to play the song. He smiles as he remembers how horrible her was at first, but then frowns at the memory of him finally perfecting the piece. The young boy had worked so hard, but his mother died the day her learned how to play it. An emotional and passionate expression appears on his face as he concentrates on the music, the memories floating by as he loses himself in the music. The notes become softer and slower as Hayato ends the piece, opening his eyes and remembering where he is. The silver-haired boy turns to look at Phoenix and finds her peacefully asleep, still curled into the ball, a small smile on her face. He smiles softly as he walks over to her and picks the red-head up, walking her back to the bedroom and laying her down on the bed. Gokudera lifts the sheets up and covers Phoenix's body with them, smiling slightly when she snuggles into the sheets. As Gokudera stares at Phoenix's sleeping form, he leans down and kisses her chastely on the lips.
"Sweet dreams...Princess."
"I love you daddy..."
Phoenix mutter in her sleep and Gokudera straightens quickly, worried he may have woken her. But when Phoenix doesn't say anything more he sits himself on the edge of the bed, guarding the sleeping girl against anything that would try to hurt her.