Part fourteen Sweet Dreams
"Someday I'm going to be warm again."
It hadn't snowed again since that first night, but it had remained cold and miserable, and we often woke to find everything covered in ice and frost. Even with the tent we still shared our blankets just to keep warm most nights. Link had refrained from kissing me again, and I'd managed to do the same. Despite his assurances, I didn't want to hurt him again. Although some nights it was all I could do to stay turned away from him. The part of me that wanted to hurt him yearned for the chance to catch him distracted, perhaps even to succeed in killing him. And some other part of me just wanted him, without any thought for consequences. Many of my nights were sleepless, between fighting against both those impulses and the nightmares that still plagued me.
And Link too was often disturbed, for much as I tried to prevent it I couldn't keep from crying out in my sleep sometimes.
So we were both increasingly weary as we neared Questra. I sometimes found myself dozing in the saddle, I was so tired.
"Just a few more days till we get there," said Link.
"Thank the Three."
"Are you doing all right?"
"Just tired. I wish..." I sighed. I'd had a few nights without nightmares, but even those were often restless. I wished our quest were over and I could know peace. But even if we succeeded, which most days I doubted we would, I wasn't sure if I'd ever have the sort of calm that Link had.
"Wish you could get a good night's sleep?"
"Yeah. I'm sure you wish the same. I'm sorry I keep waking you up."
"Don't worry about it. You can't help having nightmares."
"Normal people don't."
Link gave me an amused look. I glared back. "Dark... normal people quite definitely have nightmares. I've had a few, from time to time."
"But normal people don't have them every single night."
"You don't have them every night."
"Well, almost every night."
"You've had a different life than most people," said Link quietly. "It's not surprising that you should have nightmares."
"They're not about anything that's actually happened though. Not most of them anyway." I had had a few dreams in which I'd succeeded in killing Link, and I wasn't sure where the ones where I sobbed over his body or the ones where I laughed and rejoiced were worse. There was also a frequent, recurring dream in which Link was the one who killed me. That one terrified me more than anything else. But mostly the nightmares contained images I'd never seen, people and places I didn't know. They seemed to belong to someone else entirely.
"What are they about then?"
"I don't know. There's nothing in them I've ever seen in waking life, except you, sometimes."
"That's odd."
"Is it?"
"Yes. Dreams are usually about people and places that you know. Not always, but usually. Can you tell me anything about the dreams?"
"There are monsters in them, but in the dream the monsters aren't the part that scares me, it's only afterward that I'm frightened of them. And sometimes I dream of being a child. But not you, not your childhood in the forest, I'm somebody else. I live somewhere dry and hot, and there are women there, strange women. And... I do dream about you sometimes. I dream about..." I hesitated. "About killing you. Except most of the time, in the dreams, you kill me instead."
Link's eyes went wide. "Wait... the women in your dreams, are they dark skinned, and red haired? Do they dress in bright colors? And two of them are old, and wear black?"
I gaped at him. "Yes..."
"I should have known! Dark, you're not dreaming your own dreams, or at least not most of the time. You're dreaming Ganondorf's dreams."
"But he's dead..."
"Most people assume that, and I haven't corrected them, but no. He's not dead. He's sealed. I didn't actually kill him. I defeated him, yes, but he still lives, sealed away in the spiritual realm that he corrupted."
"What does this mean?"
"I used to dream of fire, and him... I saw him in my dreams as a child. There's a... a connection between us. Because of our fates, I suppose. And you were made by him, from me. It's not surprising that you also share a connection with him."
I nodded. It did makes sense. But... "That means I'll always have nightmares."
"There have already been some nights when you didn't," Link reminded me.
"Yes." I thought about those few occasions. I thought about the connection between myself and my evil creator. And then I thought about the darkness that he had placed in me, darkness that could be temporarily countered. And the nights when I had slept soundly... having fallen asleep listening to Link play. "Your music," I said. "I hadn't put two and two together until now, but the night's I've slept without dreams have always been nights when you played for me."
"Then tonight I'll play you to sleep," he said with a smile.
The part of me that hated him resented his offer. I didn't need his condescending help. But I choked it back. I needed sleep, and so did he. There was nothing wrong with letting him provide us both with a good night's rest.
We pitched out tent a little earlier than usual that night. We'd been riding late, trying to reach Questra as quickly as possible, but we were both weary. Link was doing better than I, though. It was all I could do to stay on my horse of late, and I wasn't much help setting up the tent.
I crawled wearily inside it, and was already half asleep by the time Link joined me. He pulled out his ocarina and immediately began to play.
I sighed blissfully. The peace that slipped over me was wonderful. In only seconds I was soundly asleep.
I woke in Link's arms. Morning light shone faintly through the fabric of the tent. It seemed we might get a clear day, though sometimes those could be colder than the cloudy ones. Still, here in the tent the light was warm. So were Link's arms around me.
"Good morning," he said softly. "Sleep well?"
"Yes. Thank you."
That day was bitterly cold, and the sunlight seemed almost hard. Frost crunched underfoot as we traveled, and I found myself once more huddled, shivering, in my coat. But all the same I felt better than I had the day before. I was still tired, one night of unbroken sleep wasn't enough, but still... Even my usual anger seemed blunted, I only thought about killing Link once or twice.
We made an early camp again, and I was more help this time. When the horses were seen to and the tent was pitched we both climbed inside. As usual we piled our bedrolls together. I climbed in immediately, but Link once more pulled out his ocarina.
I closed my eyes and listened to the music. I could hear that familiar phrase, that Link has been playing so often lately, weaving in and out of the song. Sometimes he played it unaltered, sometimes he varied it, endlessly elaborating on it, and yet always returning to the same few notes.
When he fell silent I opened my eyes and looked up at him. "What song is that?"
"It's your song." He rubbed his hands together, even in the tent it was cold and playing had no doubt chilled them.
I lifted the blankets I was under in invitation and he climbed in with me. "My song?" I asked when he was tucked in by my side.
"Yes. I haven't decided yet whether I'm going to call it Dark's Song or the Song of Sorrow... but it's the song that makes me think of you, and it seems to work best to chase out the darkness you suffer from."
Something in me was touched by that. I felt a strange upwelling of emotion. Not hate or anger this time, but something else, something I didn't have a word for. "Thank you," I said. The words were inadequate, they didn't convey the thing nameless emotion that warmed me, and so I also leaned forward and kissed him, gently this time.
He kissed back, and put his arms around me. I closed my eyes and tucked my head against his shoulder. He stroked my hair, running his fingers through it. I felt good, peaceful and warm and content here with him. Before I knew it I had fallen asleep.