"I love Madonna," Chandler said adoringly.
"Me too," Kurt agreed easily. He shifted so he was more comfortable on Chandler's couch.
"She's amazing." The reverence in his voice was clear, and it was the quietest Kurt had ever heard the other boy speak.
"We had a week at my school last year where the cheer coach played Madonna songs on the speakers all day. My friend and I even made a Vogue tribute video with her." It had been one of the few times Coach Sue and the glee club were on the same page.
Chandler tensed, paused the movie, and turned his entire body towards him. "PLEASE tell me I can watch that!"
A smile and laugh bubbled out of Kurt. "Sure, I just need a computer. We put it on YouTube."
"GENIUS! I'll be right back." Chandler popped off the couch. "Stay right there." He pushed air down as if it was Kurt's shoulders and that would keep the older boy on the couch. "Right back."
Chandler ran a bit oddly. Kurt wondered if that was what he looked like whenever he had to run laps with the other boys in gym class. He certainly FELT awkward.
True to his word Chandler was soon bounding down the stairs, laptop in hand. He plopped his blond self down on the couch closer to Kurt than strictly necessary. It felt nice, having another boy so close.
Chandler opened the laptop, awakened it, and then passed it over to Kurt so he could find and open the video. "Okay, so before I play this, you have to understand one thing."
"What?" Chandler asked perkily.
"We had the AV club shoot this and do our sound, we've got an in there, so it'll be A LOT better quality than anything else we have up. So, if after this you want to watch more of our videos, keep that in mind."
"You have MORE?" Chandler asked with sparkly eyes. "Move over Madonna, I wanna see Kurt Hummel."
Kurt laughed and pressed play.
"Come in, Blaine. I don't want to let the bugs in."
"It's the middle of winter," Blaine said. How many bugs could there be?
"Still, just get in here," Sebastian said impatiently and moved aside so Blaine could do just that.
Sebastian closed the door behind him and Blaine turned to look. Despite the 'dress code' Blaine had asked about, Sebastian was completely clothed. He even had layers.
A smarmy smirk appeared on Sebastian's face. Blaine was startled. Sebastian had smirked at him like that before and he'd found it arousing. What?
Sebastian took a few steps forward, STALKED forward, towards Blaine. "Looking good, short stuff." Sebastian purred. He reached Blaine, hands coming up to smooth over Blaine's shoulders. "I hope your ready, I think I want to take my time with you tonight."
Blaine's stomach clenched. "I'm thirsty," he blurted out.
Sebastian raised his eyebrows. "Then get something to drink." He retreated completely, dropping all contact with Blaine. He sighed a little. "I'll be in the bedroom."
"Okay." Blaine smiled weakly,
Sebastian retreated to his room, disappearing behind the dark wood door and leaving Blaine alone in the same apartment.
Blaine took a deep breath, shook his head, and went to the kitchen. He wasn't actually thirsty but he figured hydration was probably a good idea anyway. If Sebastian wanted this to last a while it was going to last a LONG time, the guy was a tease when he wanted too, and he REFUSED to let anyone else be in control of anything. His domineering was attractive.
So why wasn't Blaine half hard in anticipation? Why did being here in Sebastian's kitchen suddenly make his insides revolt?
Except... Except Blaine realized finally, this wasn't a new feeling. It wasn't something separate from the hurt he'd been feeling since he left... Since he left Kurt.
Kurt.
A sob fought it's way up Blaine's throat. God he just wanted Kurt.
Just Kurt.
Forever.
The tears in his eyes didn't fall, but he didn't pay them any mind. They weren't important. What was important was this revelation. He'd beat himself up before for not realizing how much he liked Kurt, but then he'd done the SAME GOD DAMNED THING AGAIN and ignored it.
Blaine sniffled, pushed himself off Sebastian's counter and went to the door. He'd never taken his shoes off so he didn't pause as he opened the door and stepped out into the cold air.
He climbed back into his car, still somewhat warm from his drive over, and pulled his phone out.
To Kurt:
I'm SO SORRY! Can I still talk to you.
But he hesitated before he hit send. Kurt hadn't talked to him either. Maybe... Maybe he'd fucked up so much Kurt didn't want to talk to him anymore?
Technology was easy to ignore. Kurt could just easily ignore him. He'd ignored the one other text Blaine had allowed himself to send.
In person then. He'd just have to do this in person. If he failed... Well, if he failed then at least he'd know for sure and the heavy weight of 'what if' would lift.
In person.
"Your glee club is really talented," Chandler said. "Though I still think you should sing more. You're brilliant."
"Finally someone agrees." Kurt rolled his eyes, a smile on his face. "I'm constantly on Mr. Schue about that but he just really doesn't know what to do with me. He's like 'you like to sing girl songs, but your not a girl and you don't REALLY sing like one'." Kurt sighed. "Honestly I think he just skips me over because I'm too hard for him. Which, you know, I can be mad about but I don't think I can really do anything more about it."
Chandler sighed in sympathy at his side and wriggled a little closer. "Are there anymore of your performances up?"
"Maybe." Kurt pulled a face. "Our school's self proclaimed news reporter has a giant crush on Rachel Berry and I think he follows us into the auditorium every time the door opens. Let me check his blog site."
They DID find some more videos on Jacob Ben Israel's blog, but most of them focused heavily on Rachel, even when she wasn't singing, so it was a bit of a bust. And Jacob's mouth breathing over the audio was kind of disturbing.
"Do you want to get back to the movie or...?" Chandler shrugged.
"Um, sure." Kurt slid the laptop off his legs and put it on the coffee table. When he sat back up Chandler was even closer than before. Kurt was startled for a second before he forced himself to relax.
He LIKED Chandler, he was funny and energetic and TOTALLY appreciative of Kurt, but Kurt just... Something made him twinge a little when he sat back against the couch cushions with Chandler SO close.
The movie restarted but Kurt wasn't paying it any attention. His focus was on the way Chandler was shifting just a little, and then a little more and then Kurt heard his name come out of Chandler's mouth softly.
He turned to ask what he wanted and came face to face with him. "Can I kiss you?" Chandler asked softly.
Kurt froze, mouth dropping open just a little. Did he want...
"Okay."
Chandler's mouth was nothing like Blaine's and nothing like Karofsky's. Where Blaine clearly knew what he was doing no matter what the pressure and Karofsky had been forceful and desperate, Chandler kissed him softly and hesitantly. The abundance of energy he seemed to have for everything didn't translate into this.
Kurt thought, as Chandler pressed their lips together, that this might be the other boy's first kiss with a boy.
Dread filled him and he pulled away. He knew what it was like to have your first kiss taken away from you, and even if he'd consented to this, he still felt like he was stealing something precious from the younger boy.
Chandler's expression was dreamy and content. He didn't press for another kiss, just wrapped his arms around one of Kurt's and settled against his shoulder.
Kurt spent the rest of the day uneasy. He didn't know what to do.
Kissing the other boy, it made something CRYSTAL clear. No matter how much he was trying to push it away, Kurt wasn't over the Blaine thing. And it wasn't fair at all to do this to Chandler. Chandler who was sweet and energetic and did nothing wrong.
When Kurt left for the day he still didn't know what to do, he just knew he had to do it soon. He'd been lead on before, he didn't want to do it to someone else.