Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Star Trek or Harry Potter. They belong to J.J Abrams, Gene Roddenberry and J.K Rowling

Warnings: Slash (malexmale pairings), threesomes, AU, violence, angst, sexual situations, anxiety disorders, badly written accents, etc.

Pairings: Established Spock/Kirk, Sulu/Chekov, Scotty/Uhura, Future Spock/Harry/Kirk

23. Love

Harry had sometimes wondered late at night when he couldn't fall asleep quickly enough if he would ever find love. Not to say that he never had love before or been in love. He experienced the love of a family through Sirius, Remus, the Weasleys and Teddy. He had felt love from the friends he made growing up, familiar faces that held comfort to him. But romantic love was tricky he supposed. He had crushes before; his first crush had been Cedric and his first love had been Charlie Weasley.

But unfortunately both of them ended up dead and Harry was left alone once more. Story of his life it seemed. It had hurt at the time, the agony unbearable and it still did ache, but he made due as time went on. Yet he couldn't deny there was a yearning inside him, as if a large part of him was missing; a gaping hole that could never be filled.

Perhaps it was just the lack of affection growing up; of watching as his aunt and uncle showered his cousin with love and adoration while he was forced to be their slave. While Dudley was treated with presents and words of devotion, Harry was gifted with spiteful remarks and harsh smacks. Harry understood that this was probably the reason, but as stated before he learned to make due.

After all, between working, schooling and raising Teddy, Harry had little time to date let alone think about love. And it was fine for him. The feeling, the emptiness, never went away but it became bearable. He understood that whining or sulking about it wasn't going to change anything. His new life was a second chance and he had to make the most of it. He had to live for those who died for him.

But it still hurt to be denied something you wanted. It hurt to see Sulu and Chekov eating together their fingers brushing against each other in soft fondness. It was painful to see Scotty blush and smile as Uhura giggled sweetly after she kissed his cheek. To see any of the crew expressing romantic feelings to each other was dreadful as it always seemed to burn him inside.

Yet it seemed worse late at night when Teddy was asleep and the Sandman decided to skip over him. When it was quiet and he was left alone to his thoughts, that's when it hurt the most it felt like. After all, Harry was only human and all humans craved affection. They were social creatures and longed for companionship, someone to love them, care for them and to acknowledge their existence. And really, that's all Harry had ever wanted since he could remember.

Love, you could live without it. It was possible. You couldn't die from not having it in your life, Harry knew this well. But there was something in the human soul that longed for it, desired the confusing and irrational emotion that was love. And he was no different. Love could take you to Heaven and yet it could cast you into Hell at the drop of a hat. Such a fickle emotion and yet he wanted it. Within the deepest part of his heart hidden away from the light, Harry desired love and it made him wonder how long he would have to wait for it before it drove him mad.

Please review! Thanks!

~Seth