Author's Note: Don't worry there is action coming up the chapter after next. The song featured in the chapter isn't written by me this time. I realized that it's hard writing songs from scratch! Anyway the one I used is 'tomorrow will be kinder' by the secret sisters from the Hunger Games soundtrack. As always, feedback is what keeps me a goin'.
Monday morning. Something about Mondays is always refreshing. I wake up to find Peeta tracing his finger along my arm. It's so absentminded that I doubt he even realizes I am awake.
"Peeta?" I whisper with a smile.
"Hmm?" he hums back.
"Hi"
"Hi" he mumbles. I kiss the tip of his nose, and try to move just to have his arm block me. He refuses to allow my escape and pushes me back.
"Peeta!" I whine teasingly. He grins.
"Please stay here for just a little while angel?" he begs. I roll my eyes and get up just for him to push me down again. This time I look at him with a mock anger.
"Don't make me go all tribute on you!" I warn. His hands rise in defense.
"Yeah I wouldn't want you to try to save my life again!" he laughs. I slug him on the arm and try once again to get off the mattress. This time when his arm reaches out to trap me again I spin around and twist it back behind him in assault. He lets out a yelp.
"I give! I give!" he surrenders. I let go of his arm with a smug look of satisfaction. He rubs his now sore arm with a fake pout that I can't deny is irresistible.
"That wasn't fair! I was caught off guard!"
I gave his excuse a disbelieving look.
"When did you learn that one anyway? Tribute training?" he asks. I shake my head.
"Rebellion training" I reply, sliding my pajama shirt over my head. I went searching for the one I would wear the rest of the day through the drawers of our dresser.
"You rebel" I could feel Peeta's eyes follow me and that smirk pasted across his face. Once I'm dressed I look back to my husband expectantly.
"Get up" I motion with my arm. He blinks back with a yawn.
"Do I have to throw you off like with buttercup!" I threaten. He hisses in reply. I groan and throw a pillow at him.
"I'm up, I'm up. Wait for me while I get dressed, will you?" he pleads. I glare at him halfheartedly.
"Why didn't you get dressed while I was? We could have saved time in our precious morning hours!" I moan. He stood up and made his way toward me.
"I wanted to watch you" he mumbles before wrapping his arms around me from behind and placing a precarious kiss on my pulse point. I push him away before he can get me worked up but he only moves just long enough to get a better angle. His lips meet mine passionately and I falter to stay in control. I have an idea though. It's a little trick I call leading him on or, what is that the girls call it? , playing hard to get? I am always good at that. I kiss him harder, biting his lower lip until he lets out a soft hum. My left hand rests on his chest as my right lands on the back of his neck then tangles itself in his blonde waves. He licks my lip with eagerness and I open my mouth enough to let his tongue graze mine. Slowly I reach up to unbutton his shirt and expose his muscled skin. When I'm done I slide it down his strong arms until I hear it hit the floor. I kiss his lips, then his chin, then along his jawline. My hands travel downward until they reach the waist of his pajama pants, pulling down the elastic. He goes in to kiss my lips just as they fall. Our lips are so close they are barely touching and then I pull away. His eyes are still closed and his mouth opened slightly. It isn't until something hits his face that he opens them.
"There's your clothes, get dressed. Remember to help Robin brush his teeth. He always tries to decorate the counter with toothpaste. I think he thinks it's frosting or something…I don't know." I usher out the commands in one breath, muttering something about 'stupid Peeta genes' as I leave. I head to the kitchen and try to cool down a bit by opening a window.
"Damn Peeta…" I breathe. "I was supposed to heat him up not the other way around." I say to no one.
"You two are like a pair of rabbits in heat" I hear the voice by the back door and jump. Or maybe someone…
"Wh-hoaa! Do you ever knock?" I demand halfheartedly. Haymitch and I look at each other with humor.
"Why bother sweetheart? I've seen you two in every state imaginable." He chuckled.
"Not every state" I mutter broodingly. The man doesn't leave, but takes a seat at our table as if invited to have breakfast. I guess after so many years an invitation is no longer preliminary to his comings and goings in our home. I set to work making a pot of coffee and starting breakfast. By the time I was done making meals for the two of us Peeta had arrived.
"Oh ham and eggs with goat cheese!" I hear him swoon. Before I can tell him otherwise he has taken a seat beside Haymitch and began devouring my meal. I shake my head and begin making three more since Robin and Laurel would soon be down. The scent of cooked ham fills the room with the pleasantness only early mornings can carry.
"Laurel, Robin your breakfast is almost ready!" I call. Out of the corner of my eye I see Haymitch cringe. He gazes around for an escape but his food is only half eaten, and if there is anything Haymitch would never abandon it is booze and food. Instead he guzzles his coffee and prepares for impact.
"Uncle Haymitch!" the small monster called Robin bellows from the stairwell. If you have ever seen a wild animal chase after a bunny and make its fatal pounce, that is what I witnessed. Haymitch groans as Robin's weight comes at him with full force and a knee ends up hitting him in the groin.
"Uncle Haymitch your eyes aren't all fuzzy!" Robin announces. He points to Haymitch's eyes a little too closely and ends up poking him.
"Ouch! Control your kid Peeta!" the drunk demands. Peeta looks at him in amusement and shrugs.
"I've tried. Very good Robin! Very observant of you to notice Haymitch's sobriety!" Peeta praises his son, to which he grins with pride.
"I don't know what you are going to turn him into if you praise him for poking eyeballs!" Haymitch exasperates as he attempts to finish his breakfast with the child in his lap. Uncle Haymitch. That is something I never expected. It amazes me actually, how much Haymitch loves children.
"You know uncle Haymitch, your hair is thinner right here" Robin noticed. He stood unstably on Haymitch's thighs and pulled at the older man's long hair.
"Watch it you little-"
"Haymitch!"
"Darling sweet hearted child" he finishes. Carefully he picks Robin up and set him on the ground only for Laurel to come racing to his lap.
"That happens when men get old silly!" Laurel retorts smartly. Haymitch rolls his eyes and looks to me for assistance. I don't do anything. It is my turn to eat my meal and no drunkard former mentor of mine is going to stop me, even if my children are acting like (insert Johanna's vocabulary). I should remember that. I think Johanna may actually be the influence for this behavior. I'll have to question her later. The kids settle down and finally start eating. We discuss our schedule for the day. Peeta is going to sell some of his paintings to a new art gallery opening up in the Capitol, Robin and Laurel are attending school, and Haymitch is going to…do whatever it is Haymitch does. As for me, I have our music performance tonight.
"Katniss I'm sorry I have to miss your show tonight" Peeta apologizes. His hand finds mine under the table to assure me.
"No worries Peeta. It's because of you we are even able to do it."
…
It was a few weeks after Peeta and I were officially dating. Leevy and Madge were living in my guest room until vacant houses became available. I couldn't allow them separate rooms because the only others were my mother's and Prim's. It was still painful having anyone occupy those two rooms. The dust would be disturbed or something. People were busy around twelve. Buildings started to be reformed, families were moving in, and jobs were sought after. People were finding their place in the community. Madge got a job as a seamstress fairly quickly. She was the only one in the district who could create clothing patterns by memory. Leevy on the other hand had a little more trouble with finding a job. Maybe 'a little' was used too lightly. We were going over a list of possible jobs around the fire. Madge was sewing in the armchair, Leevy was sitting on the floor with a pillow, and I was alternating between aggravating the coals and petting Buttercup. Peeta had brought over 's first batch of garlic bread since he arrived back at twelve. The taste was slightly different then I remember. I suspected he changed the recipe but I didn't ask Peeta. There was a chance Mr. Mellark just forgot something amidst his trauma. It was peaceful by the flames. Occasionally the sound of a crackle would resonate, causing Buttercup to jump from underneath my hand and hiss at me, as if I could control the fire.
"What do you expect me to do about it, you stupid cat? I'm not the girl on fire anymore remember?" I joke halfheartedly. He bites my hand and leaves to find company in Leevy.
"Damn cat" I mumble at the red mark on my hand. He was only teasing. If Buttercup wanted to bite me he would have drawn blood.
"So guys…any ideas" she asks. Buttercup purred as she scratched under his chin. I sighed, crossed my legs and rested my chin in my hands.
"You could work with agriculture?" I suggest. Leevy's shakes her head.
"I have no experience with growing vegetables" she groans.
"Peeta could help you. He has a really nice garden" I offer. She just shakes her head again. I shrug.
"Hmm speaking of Peeta, you could become a painter." She doesn't even consider this, automatically turning the idea down.
"I couldn't paint to save my life."
Okay, I have a feeling this isn't going to be easy. The next hour Madge and I test options only for Leevy to find some kind of error. Apprentice to Mr. Mellark, no. She burns the bread. Hunter, no. She hates killing things, plus the wood leg is a setback. Cook, no. She always boils things too long and her meat is always dry. Madge attempts to teach her to sew, but she just fusses over pricked fingers and uneven seams. Then we gave up. We settled down by the fire in solitude, drinking hot chocolate. I wanted to cheer her up. I had to, because although I tried to pretend not to notice, I heard her sniffling. Madge heard it to, but she was better with such things. She set down her fabric and carefully pinned the needle to the dress she was wearing. The next second she was on the ground comforting the other girl.
"Hey now Darling, don't you worry, we'll figure out something" Madge wiped the tears off Leevy's face. This is so different from the Leevy I used to know. And actually this was a little bit different from the Madge I used to know. Leevy was always the strong one. The one who was calm and instinctive and intelligent. She is just a shamble now. Madge used to be quiet, shy, kind, but emotional and weak. The bombings changed them. Leevy closed off and it was Madge's turn to take initiative.
"Katniss had a song she wanted to sing to us. I want to hear it don't you?" Madge says. I do? Since when? Madge shot me a look and I didn't question it. The mood in the room was too serious and if singing can change that then I will sing.
"Black Clouds Are Behind Me
I Now Can See Ahead
Often I Wonder Why I Try
Hoping For An End
Sorrow Weighs My Shoulders Down
And Trouble Haunts My Mind
But I Know The Present Will Not Last
And Tomorrow Will Be Kinder
Tomorrow Will Be Kinder
It's True I've Seen It Before
A Brighter Day Is Comin' My Way
Yes Tomorrow Will Be Kinder
By the time I was halfway through Leevy was singing along with me.
"Today I've Cried A Many Tear
And Pain Is In My Heart
Around me lies a somber Scene
I Don't Know Where To Start
But I Feel Warmth On My Skin
The Stars Have all Aligned
The Wind Has Blown But Now I Know
That Tomorrow Will Be Kinder
Tomorrow Will Be Kinder
I Know I've seen it before
A Brighter Day Is Coming My Way
Yes Tomorrow Will Be Kinder
A Brighter Day Is Coming My Way
Yes Tomorrow Will Be Kinder"
When the song had ended the room remained silent, but it wasn't a somber silence. It was an awestruck silence. Leevy was a pretty good singer.
"Leevy! Why didn't you tell us you could sing?" I demanded. She looks with confusion between Madge and I.
"I didn't know" she says bewildered. I smile and roll my eyes at the girl.
"Leevy I think we have found you a profession" I laugh.
"But how can I earn money off that?" she asks. She's right. I get my tribute salary so my singing is only a hobby really.
"Plurtarch has a singing program" I remember. She looks anxious with everything happening so fast and tries to focus on Buttercup. Leevy, this isn't the time for your scatterbrain episodes! We are trying to plan your future!
"Who is Plurtarch?" Madge asks. Oh right. There is still a lot I have yet to tell them.
"Tell you later." I say for now. "but he has a program on the television dedicated to singers. It wasn't my cup of tea but maybe you would like it" I tell her. She just stares at Buttercup's sleeping figure.
"I don't like cameras" she whispers. All of a sudden I stopped. My smile fell. She doesn't like cameras? What excuse is that? After all this time of trying to help her out, and listening to her blubbering away about "I can't do this, I can't do that", she says 'I don't like cameras'! I couldn't help the anger that bubbled through me. Sure she was traumatized but so was I. Guess what? I got over it! Hell, so did Peeta and he was even more screwed up inside than me! There is no excuse for her ridiculous behavior. She shouldn't ask for help if she is going to play this game. Let her be a child, let her mope about in that wispy lost little way-
"Katniss that's enough!" Madge yells. My god am I always talking out loud? Leevy is bawling and Madge looks like she's about to punch us both in the face. Even Buttercup woke up and gazes at us in a highly attentive way.
"Listen! Both of you! I can't take this anymore." She gathers her fragments of clothing. "I'm going to bed. I'm tired" we hear her say as she retreats upstairs to her room. The door slamming behind her. Only at my house. Only at my house could emotions go from thoughtful, to sorrowful, to cheery, to furious, to sorrowful in less than two hours. Are we all really that messed up? I take a deep breath and slide back down to the floor. Buttercup hisses at me when I reach for him, and this time when he bites me he does draw blood.
"Good to see that you're not even on my side" I say to him. The room isn't as warm anymore and the fire is about to go out. It's just a matter of time. It does. I sit there in the darkness, alone. Leevy's sniffling ends and then comes silence.
"I lied" she finally speaks up. This statement takes me aback. I consider leaving and going to bed myself, but I can't be that cruel to Leevy. She helped me out when Gale was near death. She is my friend in some way, despite these emotional moments. I start thinking about Haymitch and Gale. Those two were there for me when I was in worse shape than her. At least I can try to understand what she is going through.
"About what?" I reply.
"I said I didn't know I could sing. I lied. I haven't sung since before the bombings. I've tried to but no sound comes out. It's part of the trauma." She sighs. Her voice is clear and honest and I can tell the episode she had earlier is over.
"I'm sorry" I say. I feel weird saying it. Like the words just don't fit with my lips. But she needed to hear it.
"I also lied about not liking cameras. I don't mind them."
"Why did you say it then?"
"Because I didn't want to sound clingy when I told you the truth"
"What's the truth?..."
"I don't want to leave you and Madge. I want to stay here in twelve with my friends, not in some television studio in the Capitol." She reveals. I feel terrible.
"Leevy I'm sorry about what I said. I really am…sometimes I talk out loud when I think I am thinking to myself. And I don't think you are clingy for wanting to stay with us. I don't see why you want to be near me though. I am a hardheaded pest" I smile. I feel her beside me in the darkness.
"Yes I now you are, but that makes me stronger. Madge is nice but she babies me like a little sister. You are more like a mentor. You tell me what you think I should do but you let me make my own decisions." I feel her hand on mine and it makes me smile even bigger.
"Good. Now let's get to bed so we can figure out how to turn singing into a career, right here in twelve."
I help her up and we stumble through the room until we eventually find the stairs.
"How come you were able to sing right then Leevy?" I ask, remembering her confession about being incapable of singing.
"I don't know. Maybe I just needed someone to sing with" she guessed. That thought made me smile. The next morning I called Plurtarch and asked him to send us some of his extra instruments. Leevy and I learned how to play each one of them. The practicing was hard but compared to the hunger games training, it was nothing. Some days we played instruments, others we trained our voices to harmonize. Madge started getting annoyed by the constant squeals of off notes so she moved in with Haymitch. At first I thought the arrangement was odd but Madge explained it to me. She was Maysilee Donner's niece after all. The only living relative of Haymitch's long lost friend. She was all he had of her, she reminded him of her. In fact, a few weeks after she moved in I noticed improvements in his drinking habits and in his attitude. He started spending more time outside raising geese and growing a vegetable garden even bigger than Peeta's. Time passed and soon Leevy and I could play various musical instruments quite well. It was time to move on to the next step. Peeta sold a bunch of his paintings to a wealthy collector and with the money we built our music school.
"It still needs something" Madge concludes, inspecting the new establishment. The finishing touches had just been made to the construction and now it was ready for admiring. Haymitch, Madge, Peeta, Greasy Sae, Leevy, and I began to tour the new structure. It was the biggest building in town, and it was beautiful. Two of its walls were covered in long panels of windows to let the sunlight in. I was later informed these could be removed if ever there was a need. The inside was curved into a dome which apparently could create more sound clarity. The walls were ivory and seemed to reach impossibly far up, as if it were bigger in the inside than on the out. Although it was beautiful Madge was right. It was missing something.
"A painting" Peeta mutters in thought. "I need to make a mural for it." He decides.
"Hmmm, I like that idea" Leevy smiles. Yes a mural! That's it! Something that would give our ash and soot covered town a piece of life. I knew exactly what we needed.
"Peeta get out you paint. I think what we need is the meadow." I proclaim. Peeta's face lights up in that inspired way.
"The meadow." He repeats to himself. "That's a really good idea Katniss. What time is it?" he asks.
"About eight thirty" Haymitch replies after a glance at his expensive Capitol made watch. Peeta thinks for a moment. Before anyone can question it he has disappeared. When he returns several minutes later he has a gallon of paint in each hand.
"Well? Is anyone going to help me or do I have to carry all of the paint myself?" he demands with a grin. Where did he get this paint from? I was only joking when I told him to get paint out. I thought all he had was oil paint for his canvases. The group started following Peeta's lead so I was forced to ignore my questions for now. We walk down the street behind the shops of the downtown until we come to an open shed filled with buckets. The shed was new, I could tell. A man appeared from the back door of shop with a handful of brushes and rollers for applying paint. He was old and slightly decrepit but he smiled at us warmly from behind is thistle of whiskers. His hand shook as I took the items from him, his arm still extended. Then I realized that he wanted a handshake. I passed the brushes to Leevy and took the man's hand.
"I'm uh Katniss" It's been so long since I've shaken someone's hand, I've forgotten the proper procedure. Where is Effie when you need her? The old man either doesn't notice my awkwardness or pretends not to.
"I know who you are Miss Everdeen" his scratchy voice makes out. Of course he does, I'm the mockingjay, or was. But what he tells me next is unexpected.
"Your daddy used to buy supplies from me when you were little. Do you remember? He used to bring you in and I'd give you candy" he recalls I am flattered this man remembers me. He looks like he barely remembers his own name, yet he remembers the little girl who used to go to his shop. I feel like a horrible person for not remembering myself but I don't admit to it.
"Oh yes! I do remember that, you were always so kind" I lie. This made him smile so big that his wrinkles stretched into canyons.
"And now you are buying supplies from me. You're all grown up." He wavers and I notice tears in his eyes. I feel uncomfortable at how emotional the stranger is but I don't leave. It doesn't seem fair to leave someone so fond of me.
"You own all of the paint?" I ask, gesturing the buckets being carried away by my friends. Haymitch shoots me a look as he picks up another load. I can already hear the words "Stalling there sweetheart so you don't have to pitch in some work? Tsk Tsk. You're awfully lazy for a tribute of two games."
I glare at my mentor and he simply walks away in disappointment.
"Yes, I've owned my hardware store for over forty years. I reopened two days ago and already you are buying all the paint I have in stock. I don't think I have ever had that much business" he tells me thankfully.
"Well you are a lifesaver. We are painting the new music school and if it wasn't for your paint we would have to wait for the supply train to come through next week."
"Well I'm glad I can help. The older you get the less of a help you become it seems" He sighs sadly. I decide I like this man. He seems lonely. Did he lose someone during the bombings or was he always alone? I feel sympathy for him. Maybe that's why I invite him to help us paint.
"Oh I don't know how much I can do with these shaky hands of mine" he worries. I shake my head at his statement.
"I bet you'll be better at it than me. I am a terrible artist" I laugh. He considers this and finally consents to help us. It takes us a little more than a half hour to empty the shed of its contents and return to the project sight. Then another half hour goes by as Peeta observes the 'canvas' and internally discusses what should go where and what color it should be. Meanwhile, Greasy Sae returns with broth and sandwiches, most likely made with 's fresh bread. Leevy and Madge sit on the grass and discuss remedies that might make Leevy's scar disappear. Greasy Sae argues with Haymitch over the evils of drinking, even though Haymitch hasn't touched alcohol in weeks. I silently dip my sandwich in the broth and take note of how happy the old shopper keeper is to be around people again. I realize that I have yet to know his name.
"Sir…I'm sorry but I never got your name" I say. He sets his sandwich on his lap and finishes chewing.
"Geert" his introduces. I nod and continue eating. Finally Peeta appears from behind the building and begins bringing certain cans closer. He opens six cans. Two blue, two green, a black, and a white. He starts with the green, dipping a roller in the pigment and splaying in across the wood surface. Haymitch joins him, if only to avoid any more of Greasy Sae's preaching. Soon follows Leevy and Madge, until Geert and I trail after. Peeta opens a bucket of yellow and goes over the layer of green with it eto add dimension and hues. Hours later, grass stretched around the whole base of the building, speckled with dandelions and daisies. Ladders were found, blue paint, brown paint, were began to appear. It took us well into the night. At which time families came by to provide us light but the candles had little effect. A bonfire was made and soon enough it was like twelve was having a celebration. The town square filled up with spectators, many bearing food and others bearing paintbrushes, wondering how they can contribute. Peeta instructed us what to do and techniques to use. Leevy began a band, handing out the instruments we had to the few townsfolk who knew how to play. Mr. Mellark attended, giving away free bread and cake. Twelve hadn't known a celebration like this since after we won our first games. As I looked around I couldn't help be proud of the district I live in. The smiling faces, the friendly neighbors, the happy dancers, the joyful painters. We finish so late that it's the early hours of the next day. The painters were covered in splotches of color. The dancers had collapsed in giggles. The musicians stopped to pass around a flask, they never resumed their song. Instead they passed out. I found Peeta among the cheery chaos. The light of the flame illuminated the mess of smears across his face. I shook my head at this silly appearance. I used a napkin that somehow ended up in my hand to wipe away to smudges on his cheeks.
"Thanks Peeta" I say. His hand rests on my arm.
"Anything for you Katniss" he smiles. I smile to.