Chapter 15: Worth

'Wait for me there.'

Asch quietly opened the castle door, slipped out the crack and silently closed it again. He had no idea why he was sneaking around, it's not like he wasn't allowed to go home for a bit, but this was important, and he didn't want anyone, namely Natalia, following him. No offence to his fiancée, he loved her like no other, but her relationship with Luke was tantamount to his relationship with Guy, and that was to say that they weren't exactly on the best of terms.

The manor was as quiet as the castle had been, everyone but the guards settling in for the night. Asch stopped when he reached the doors leading to the courtyard. Luke's angry stare from earlier that day flashed through his mind. He hadn't wanted to resort to using the fon slots they'd just recently opened, but he hadn't seen any other option. Luke obviously had no intention of talking to him, and that wasn't from lack of trying.

Even Asch was still uncertain of the extent to which their newly synched fon slots connected them. In fact, he hadn't even been entirely sure Luke could hear his voice across them. He had just wanted Luke to talk to him and then he'd just... reacted. Asch originally had every intention of discussing the matter with Luke, but their untimely argument had gotten in the way of that plan, now everything was a mess.

Asch took his hand off the door handle. Talking to Luke through that connection…that was a big jump. Would Luke be mad at him, angry that Asch had kept that fact from him? It was a sore subject to begin with, and Asch wasn't sure what to make of it all. He had gotten used to the vague sense of emotion he could sense from his sibling. In fact, he suspected that had been what had further fuelled their dispute, on top of their own anger, they were both feeling the other's as well. Not that they weren't already somewhat used to it. Admittedly he'd always felt he had some idea of how Luke was feeling, and Luke certainly seemed like he shared the same ability, but it had become a lot stronger since Choral Castle.

Still... Asch understood all this, and had been somewhat prepared for it from the very beginning, Luke didn't. Luke hadn't spent the time researching fomicry like he had, though in his defense Luke had been busy with learning how to read at the time. Would Luke even still be there? Asch genuinely hoped so. He also hoped he hadn't just relit a smothering fire with his reckless and desperate attempt to get Luke to talk to him. This had gone on far too long, and it was time to suck it up and apologize. He was willing to take a hit to his pride this time around; he figured he'd earned it. Now if only Luke would listen, if only he would still be there.

There weren't many things that Asch was afraid of, and even fewer that he'd be willing to admit to, but his hand frozen on the door knob betrayed his hesitation. What was he afraid of? Of being abandoned, of being alone? Or was it simply a matter of delaying the inevitable realization that the only person who ever understood him, was beyond his reach for good? That pointless fear had never served to do anything but chain him down. Asch took a deep breath and opened the door.

The cool night air rushed in, gently sweeping his long crimson hair out behind him. The courtyard was dimly lit by the light of the moon now that few indoor lights were left on to spill out the windows and illuminate the area. Across the yard, sitting at the foot of one of the many statues, was Luke.

Luke watched his older brother as he made his way across the courtyard. He stood up and met him halfway. The two of them stood in silence for a few moments, looking in each others eyes, trying to gauge the other's mood. Asch opened his mouth, but realized he didn't even know where to start.

"How about you start by explaining what you did." Luke offered, subconsciously bringing a comforting hand to his head that still seemed to echo with the pain that had consumed it moments earlier.

"I'm actually not to sure how it all works myself," Asch admitted. "It has to do with our fon slots being synched, but even I don't really understand the details. I wanted to talk to you, and you wouldn't listen to me so…" he trailed off.

"Yeah well, could you not make a habit of it? That hurt!" Luke rubbed his head, one eye open and on his sibling. Asch looked at him somewhat surprised, he wasn't... mad? "So what was it you wanted to talk about?" Luke finally asked. Asch took a deep breath.

"Look, about what I said on the boat...about you not having a future...I'm sorry."

"Why?" Luke asked softly, his gaze meeting the ground. "It's true. It's not like I'm going anywhere in life like you are."

"Hey," Asch placed his hand on his brother's chhin and forced Luke to look him in the eye, "I don't want you to believe that. Just because you haven't decided what you want to do with your life, does not mean you don't have a future."

'Okay?' Asch's last reassurance resonated in Luke's mind and brought with it a warm feeling. But this time, it didn't hurt.

"How did you do that?" Luke asked.

"Do what?"

"I heard your voice in my head again, but it didn't hurt this time."

"It didn't? That's weird, I didn't do anything differently. I wonder though, maybe it has to do with the fact that you were listening?"

"Listening?"

"Well, back at the castle, trying to talk to you was like having to yell across a field, I was fighting to be heard. But this time, it wasn't anything like that. You weren't fighting me off."

"I wonder... could I talk to you the same way?"

"Probably, I'll have to show you how sometime."

"Good, that should keep Jade off our tails." Asch broke out laughing and Luke quickly followed suit. They had forgotten how much they truly enjoyed the other's company.

"So what else did you not tell me about that big mess at Choral Castle?" Luke asked tauntingly, a grin still spread across his face.

"I'm sorry; I meant to talk to you more about it on the boat but-"

"Yeah, I pretty much figured. Tell me one thing though: why did you really want to sync our fon slots? It obviously wasn't to fix our headaches."

"What do you mean by that?" Asch inquired curiously.

"Oh don't play stupid, I'm talking about on the boat to Chesedonia."

Asch looked confusedly back at Luke. He hadn't felt anything for that entire trip. Had Luke felt something he didn't? "What happened on the boat?"

"You mean you didn't feel anything?" Luke questioned curiously.

"No, what happened?"

Luke fell silent, still somewhat ashamed at his failure, and how close he had come to doing something terrible.

"What was it? What happened?" Asch questioned, Luke's hesitation giving his voice an edge of panic.

"It's that whole stupid fon slot thing," Luke finally offered. "I was so mad, I decided to try practicing my hyperresonance to try and calm down. Then all of a sudden I got this huge headache and almost lost control of it."

"That's really weird, I didn't feel a thing." Asch pondered on the matter for a moment. "Maybe it had to do with the fact that you were practising your hyperresonance? The seventh fonon is the fonon of sound; it wouldn't be surprising if it had a role in inducing those headaches."

"So you don't think it has to do with our fon slots?"

"No. The only thing that you almost losing control of your hyperresonance means, is that you need more practice." Asch said jokingly ruffling Luke's hair. "Unless you think it's something else, did anything else happen?"

"Hey!" Luke protested as he tried to fix the mess Asch had just made of his hair. "No, I don't think so," he answered Asch's question somewhat hesitantly.

"Okay then. Well, I'd better head back. Natalia's gonna rake me over, I left without saying anything again."

"Man has she got you on a short leash."

"Hey I'm here aren't I? Besides, a little common courtesy never hurt anyone."

"Sure, sure, you keep telling yourself that."

"You'll understand someday," Asch said with a chuckle.

"No you hope I'll understand someday, because then I won't be able to tease you about it anymore."

Asch laughed. "True enough," he said, turning to leave.

"Hey Asch!" Asch turned around. "Thanks for making a special trip from the castle just for me," Luke teased. Then his face took on a more serious look, "I'm sorry too. For what I said, and how I acted." Asch smiled and Luke smiled in return.

"Good night Luke."

"Same goes to you."

Luke stretched, and let his gaze wander the courtyard once the doors had closed behind his sibling. The lights in the manor were almost all out. Only a couple faint lights, by which the night guards worked, and the light in the drawing room were still on. He wondered who was still up, it was getting pretty late, but he had to head that way to reach his room anyways.

Luke just couldn't erase the smile off his face. He hadn't realized just how much he had missed his one on one chats with Asch. The latest revelations about the connection between the two of them piqued his interest, despite being somewhat upset about not having been trusted with that information before now. He just didn't have it in him to be upset about it, and he really didn't have any reason to be, it had been late, then everything had just snowballed the next day, and after that they hadn't been talking. But being in the dark about something that so closely involved himself, still left a bad taste in his mouth.

"…but this is different." The muffled voices could be heard through the door to the drawing room, catching the young noble's attention as he wandered by. "This is beyond just dangerous. Whoever goes will not return." What the... Luke backed up several paces, pressing his ear against the door. Though both tones were familiar, he could only identify the voice of his father, not that of the person he was speaking with.

"I know it's not easy, but one of them has to go. We've really no choice in the matter."

"I knew this day would come, but I still do not wish to send my son to his death." Luke froze. He shouldn't be hearing this, but he just couldn't bring himself to move. They were talking about him and Asch! One of them was going somewhere? And not going to come back? There had to be some mistake!

"Which will you send then? It is clear which one the Score dictates. Asch must go."

"But Asch is the heir to Kimlasca's throne. His role is undeniably vital. Losing him, would be a heavy blow indeed."

"Then what of Luke?"

"Luke is still young. Whether or not he is capable of such a feat... I do not know. Asch is certainly the most capable of handling the task. If it weren't for the consequences, he would be the obvious choice."

"You don't wish to send Asch because he is the most needed, but you don't wish to send Luke because he isn't capable of handling the task. Ultimately we've no choice, we must fulfill the Score."

"It demands Asch, but Luke is also the light of the sacred flame. Perhaps it matters not really, if one must be sacrificed, it should be the one whose loss will impact Kimlasca the least..."

Luke couldn't handle it anymore. Was he not worth anything to anyone? Bolting from the drawing room, Luke didn't stop until he had reached his bedroom and had the door closed behind him. He grabbed one of the pillows on his bed and chucked it at the wall where it crashed into his shelf sending a dozen books crashing to the ground.

Luke flung himself down on his bed, almost in tears bred by a range of emotions from anger to despair. It all boiled down to one thing: Asch was more important than he was. He was useless, incompetent and didn't have a place in the world. Asch would always be the more valuable one and nothing he could do would ever change that in anyone's eyes.

Prove that you're just as important as Asch. Then you can earn their respect. You can gain the recognition you deserve!

Master Van's words echoed in Luke's mind. He hadn't told Asch anything about Master Van or their conversation. He could feel the resentment crawl up at the thought of his sibling. No, he wouldn't let himself feel like that. It wasn't Asch's fault. Asch understood, and Asch acknowledged his worth. It was everyone else that was the problem.

It looked like he would have to prove himself after all.