Chapter 26: Thank you and...

Luke looked around but everywhere he looked was black. It wasn't the darkness brought on by the lack of light, but an empty void where no light existed at all. There was no ground, nor was there a sky. There were no definitions of any kind, just an endless black abyss.

Luke fought down his racing feelings. He had to move, he had to go save them. If he didn't hurry then people would get hurt! But he was scared, he didn't want to move. What if he fell? He would be left to fall forever in this immeasurable emptiness.

His hesitation got the better of him and he stayed fixed to the spot. No sooner had he made his decision, he began to sink. Luke struggled but that only made him sink faster. He looked down around his feet and he was no longer sinking into the darkness, it was the miasma! Luke suddenly looked up and everything wasn't black anymore. He was sinking in the miasma in the Qliphoth and Akzeriuth was sinking all around him.

People were reaching out, grabbing him as he fought against the miasma, begging him to save them. Their ragged cries and screams for help drowned him. He could feel their desperate grasps as they clung to his clothes, their cold lifeless skin brushing against his own as they dragged him down. No! Just leave me alone! I didn't- I can't- Luke fought and fought and fought but they wouldn't let go! He was sinking! He couldn't breathe! He-

Luke woke with a start, sitting up in bed, bringing his hand to his head when it started spinning from the sudden rush of blood. He sat for a moment allowing his breathing to slowly return to normal as he looked around.

He was back in Tear's room. The cot where Asch had slept had been put away, but he still recognized the paintings on the wall and the large window that overlooked the garden.

'Asch?' Luke tried, but got no response. He must still be asleep, which was very possible seeing as there was no way to tell what time of day it was down here, or how long he himself had been asleep before waking up.

"Master!" Mieu happily bounced onto the bed.

"Mieu." Luke acknowledged the little cheagle.

"I'm so happy you're awake! I was getting really worried when you wouldn't wake up."

"Thank you." Luke replied, "…and thank you for staying with me on the Tartarus. I'm sorry I didn't pay any attention to you then," he continued after a moment.

"That's okay," Mieu piped up, "Master wasn't feeling good back then too right?"

Luke smiled at the little cheagle's perceptiveness. "That's right, but I'm feeling better now."

Following his statement Luke removed some of the bandages to check his injuries. They were doing well, in fact, they were doing surprisingly well. Most of his cuts had completely faded and only some of the larger bruises still showed the tiniest traces of having ever existed at all. Mieu hopped onto the end table as Luke swung his arms around. He wasn't sore either, albeit a little stiff from the lack of movement over the past few days, otherwise, he was in pretty good shape.

In fact, he was in much better shape then he had expected, and he couldn't help but wonder if Tear might have had something to do with it. Tear…Luke really didn't know what to do about the melodist. He was more than certain that she probably didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore, which was understandable enough, but he couldn't just up and leave without saying anything.

He let out a huge sigh. But that would mean he'd have to face her, which wasn't something Luke was sure he was ready for yet. What would he say? His hesitation bothered him. Luke was nervous about facing the others, their pitiless judgements still fresh in his mind, but of everyone, she was the one that frightened him the most. He was so afraid that she'd reject him, that she would abandon him; and yet at the same time he knew he couldn't get her involved anymore. He had betrayed her trust and faith in him enough already and it wasn't fair to even ask that of her. Then in that case, there was really only one thing to say…

"Asch says he's sorry." Mieu interrupted Luke's contemplation.

"Sorry, what was that?" Luke inquired.

"Asch wanted me to tell you that he's sorry but he had something that was really really important to do. But he said he was going to come back and get you as soon as he was done." The young cheagle repeated.

Luke smiled at the little additions Mieu had chosen to make. "Thanks Mieu. But first, do you know where I can find Tear?"

"I think she's in the garden."

"Thanks," Luke replied as he stood up out of bed, "could you wait here? I'll be right back."

"Okay!" The little cheagle squeaked. Luke ruffled the fur on Mieu's head then proceeded to make his way out towards the garden. As much as he didn't want to, as much as he feared it, he had to go face her.

You have to take that first step on your own.

I will.

-------

Luke walked out the door and couldn't believe what he saw. In the middle of this city, lost amidst the poisonous miasma, there was a small garden. Enclosed by buildings on three sides, it was covered by a large glass dome that allowed the pale golden glow that bathed all of Yulia City to trickle through. The far wall was made entirely of glass, turning it into a huge window that looked out onto the residents of the lost city.

There, at the center of the garden, stood Tear. Facing away from where Luke had entered, her tan hair gently swayed as air moved through the small sanctuary. At her feet sat a bed of silvery white flowers that almost glowed against the green grasses that grew among them. Upon hearing him approach she turned around, her piercing blue eyes meeting his own.

"Luke, you're awake." She said softly. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, thanks to you." Luke replied.

"It was nothing." Tear broke Luke's gaze by looking down at the flowers that had bloomed at her feet. An awkward silence settled over them.

"So…what is this place?" Luke finally asked.

"This was one of my favourite places when I was little." Tear replied. "These flowers, Selenias, are the only flowers that bloom here in the Qliphoth. Since the Outer Lands cover the sky, not much light gets through. I've always loved that about them, the way they become so much more beautiful in darker times."

"Tear, I-"

"Can I ask you something?" Tear cut him off.

"What is it?"

"Why did you do it?" Tear looked straight at him, her sapphire eyes betraying her sorrow and confusion.

Tear watched as Luke sighed and broke her gaze, deeply contemplating the question she had just asked. She had thought it through for the past couple days, and the more she thought about it, the more it bothered her. The Luke she knew, the Luke she thought she knew… just wasn't like that. Sure he was irresponsible, reckless and whined more than she cared to deal with, but under all that she had discovered a good person at heart. Finding out that he had been the cause of Akzeriuth's destruction had shocked her to her very core and she had lashed out in response to such a deep betrayal of her trust.

If nothing else, she wanted him to tell her it had all been a huge misunderstanding, that he'd really had nothing to do with such a terrible tragedy. Her heart sank as the regret and remorse that swept over Luke told her she wouldn't be getting the answer she was hoping for.

"I never had any other friends before, not any real ones anyways." Luke said softly as he gazed up at the dome that covered the garden. "I mean there were lots of people in Baticul and all, but there was never anyone I ever got close to you know? They always looked at me differently. I may not be in line to the throne or anything, but I'm still a noble. I'm not supposed to 'fraternize with the commoners' as Father used to say."

Tear watched Luke in amazement. She had never seen this side of him before. He was always so carefree and bright, but now she saw something in him she never dreamed she'd ever see: he was lonely.

"But I was never unhappy." Luke continued gently. "I had Asch, and Guy too. But Asch is always busy up at the castle, and it's not really fair of me to monopolize all of Guy's time. Besides, Guy's a servant in my household, so Father never approved of our friendship…" He trailed off. "But then I met you and Ion and everyone else. You guys didn't treat me different or special because of my status, and I was really happy. Even when you would yell at me for doing something stupid, it made me happy. I was just glad that someone cared enough about me to scold me, and treat me like they would treat anyone else. So I decided; if there was ever anything I could do to protect you, that I would do it, without hesitation." Luke sighed and turned to look at Tear.

"It's funny," Luke continued, "sometimes I wonder if I was just deluding myself after all. I mean, no one really trusts me, and now everyone's left. But in spite of that, I don't regret wanting to protect you all."

"How did you know…?" Tear wondered.

"I know all that isn't an excuse for what happened," Luke continued, his eyes glimmering as he bordered on tears despite the gentle smile on his face. "I screwed up. And because of me, thousands of people are dead. Nothing I can do will ever change that; I can't go back and undo everything I've done. But I can't dwell on it forever either. If I do, more people will get hurt and it will be my fault again. I won't let that happen anymore. So all I can do for Akzeriuth is live on carrying the weight of all those lives that I destroyed, and I will do everything in my power to make sure something like that never happens again. It's the only way I know how to go on…"

"Luke…"

Luke knelt down among the flowers and gently fingered the white petals of the blossoms. "I won't ask for your trust, or for your forgiveness, because I don't deserve either."

"Then why did you come?" Tear asked softly.

Luke picked one of the flowers and walked right up to Tear. "I guess, there was just something that I had to say before I left." He replied as he gently brushed her hair back and tucked the blossom behind her ear.

"What was that?" Tear asked hesitantly, a bit flustered by how close Luke was standing.

But Luke didn't answer her, he simply looked her straight in the eye and gave her one last gentle smile. Tear couldn't remember how long they stayed there, frozen in that moment, but without another word, Luke turned around and walked away.

--------

The gentle sounds of the sea, the waves against the side of the boat, the birds as they flew through the air, were drowned out by the dull roar of conversation in the dinning hall. The sailors there didn't mind. The laughter and mirth that the group at the far end of the room shared brought smiles to their faces.

"…we called his name and he was so startled, he just about fell out of the tree. I don't think I've ever seen anyone cling to a branch quite so desperately." Guy finished, leaving everyone in stitches except for Asch who was the subject of Guy's latest childhood story.

"Man you two had one crazy childhood." Anise commented as she helped herself to seconds. While not as good as some of the meals she had enjoyed in Baticul, the food on the ferry to Kaitzur was really something else.

"I remember that one," Natalia chuckled, "it was around the time Van became his instructor. By the time we found him, he had missed his lesson." Asch mumbled something or another about not being informed about anything and everyone started laughing again.

"Do you know any other good ones?" Anise inquired excitedly.

"Hmmm…" Guy contemplated it for a moment.

"Tell another one about me and I lock you in a room with the maids when we get back." Asch threatened the blonde seated next to him.

"Well how about the one with Luke and the flowers?"

"I don't think we've heard that one." Ion offered.

"Oh great." Luke mumbled. What about their embarrassing childhood stories was so fascinating to these people?

"Well," Guy began, "it would have been back when Luke was still pretty young. One of the maids that took care of him was leaving. She had gotten a job closer to her family or something, but she wasn't going to be coming back. Now Luke was pretty upset and it took us awhile to explain it to him, but he eventually got the gist of the fact that she wasn't returning. So the day she was to leave, we brought him along to say good bye and- Hey!" Guy was interrupted as Asch bit the piece of meat off the fork that Guy had unknowingly been swinging in his face.

"Stop playing with your food." Asch stated as everyone burst into laughter. Guy discarded his fork and procured another before continuing.

"Anyways, where was I?"

"The maid was leaving." Anise eagerly provided.

"Right. Luke wanted to say goodbye, so he walked up to her. She knelt down but before she could do anything, he pulls this flower out of the planter, roots and all, and puts it behind her ear, then he gives her a hug. Now the rest of us are all just watching worried about how she was going to react having this clump of dirt stuck in her hair, but she loved it. The funniest thing is, I walked her down to the port so she could catch the ferry, and it turns out she was allergic to those flowers. She sneezed the whole way down, but she wouldn't take the flower out of her hair."

"Awww that's so cute!" Anise piped up. She just loved listening to stories like that.

"It was. After that it sort of became a tradition. Every time one of the female servants left, the boys would each put a flower in her hair. After awhile, the whole thing sort of took on a meaning of its own. It-"

"Can we stop with the childhood stories?" Luke interrupted as he stood up from the table.

"I'll second that," Asch agreed as he too picked up his empty plate.

"Aww you two aren't any fun." Anise pouted but still followed suit along with all the others.

--------

Tear looked down at the garden and gently cupped her hands in front of her, catching the blossom as it fell from her hair. Her heart was in her throat. Why was she so upset? Luke hadn't even said anything to her, he had run away instead. Or had he? Tear gently fingered the blossom in her hand, wondering what Luke could have possibly wanted to tell her. But in the end, would it even matter? Whatever it was, he decided wasn't important enough to say, so why was she getting so worked up about it?

No, that wasn't it at all. She was so stupid and so blind! So desperate to cling to her world of right and wrong, that she refused to consider the grays in between. Luke had done something terrible, something most people would consider unforgivable, and to her that had meant Luke himself was unforgivable. But that wasn't the case at all! He was still the same Luke, though his innocence was tainted and his smile had become sad, he was the same person she had come to know and treasure. But in spite of that, Tear couldn't bring herself to shake off her lingering doubts. She couldn't just ignore everything that had happened. He had destroyed Akzeriuth, when he had been sent to protect it.

But that didn't automatically make him a bad person. If anything, after all was said and done, it had made him stronger. The darkness had come, and Luke had blossomed. He wasn't running away from his problems anymore, and his actions just now had spoken louder than any of the words she had ever spoken.

But by the time she had realized it, Luke was already gone.

--------

"Did putting a flower in a girls' hair really mean something?" Tear inquired as she helped Guy clean up the table. The others had all already left.

"It sure did." He replied. "You would never catch Asch putting a flower in Natalia's hair like that. After all those years of it being a tradition, it sort of became tied to all the feelings that went along with it you know?"

"What did it eventually come to mean?" She asked.

Guy looked up at her and smiled. "It came to mean 'Thank you.' " He said softly.

Thank you… and goodbye.