Chapter Thirteen-Dr. Gyson

It was the next day and Bobby was on his way to his weekly therapy session with Dr. Gyson. He hadn't seen her since his big career change, so they obviously had a great deal to catch up on. Bobby had hated his therapy sessions at first, finding them intrusive and potentially damaging to his mental state as well as his career, but he was growing more and more used to them. He was slowly becoming more trusting of Dr. Gyson, especially since she made it clear she supported his desire to remain on Major Case.

He stepped out of his car and walked up the stairs to her office, his long legs quickly enveloping the space between the ground and the door. Within moments he was in the waiting room and he nodded a greeting to Hayley, Dr. Gyson's receptionist. He had just sat down when the door opened and Dr. Gyson announced she was ready to see him. He walked over to her and shook her hand, smiling as he greeted her.

"Hello, Detective Goren, it's a pleasure to see you again. I have missed you," Dr. Gyson said, leading him into her office.

"Yes, it has been a while," Bobby agreed. "I...I know it's been a while since our last session, but things...things have gotten more complicated lately."

"Yes, I know, Captain Hannah called to inform me that there was an interesting development in your career," Dr. Gyson said, gesturing for Bobby to sit as she did the same.

"Did he tell you specifics?"

"No. All he said was you were taken away from your duties at Major Case because your expertise was needed on another assignment. Are you working undercover?"

"No, no...not exactly," Bobby said. Dr. Gyson raised her eyebrows so Bobby explained the situation with Mary and how he was assigned to protect her until Mike's trial was resolved.

"How does this situation make you feel, Detective Goren? Switching from Major Case to security detail is quite a change, and from what I'm hearing this wasn't a switch you made voluntarily."

"Mary offered me an out, but I decided to see it through. Like I told her, I'm choosing to view my reassignment as a unique opportunity to prove myself to my superiors, to show them I very much want to keep my job and will do what it takes to make that happen."

"Tell me more about Ms. Mayfield. What is she like?"

"Well, let's see," Bobby began, considering his words. "she's the oldest of four children-she has three younger sisters and lives with her two cousins and close friend. They are incredibly close and Mary is always happiest around them. She works primarily as a gamer for her father's computer software company, but used to work as a nanny while in college and still looks after those children on occassion."

Dr. Gyson remained silent as Bobby continued. "she is warm and bubbly with her family, but shy and reserved in large crowds or around individuals she doesn't know very well. She's funny, intelligent-she owns even more books than me, but she's withdrawing into herself. Mike's attack has left her badly shaken and questioning the world as she once knew it. She blames herself for what happened-she, she thinks if hadn't antagonized Mike so much over the years this wouldn't have happened."

"It sounds as if you disagree with her assertion," Dr. Gyson replied. "it sounds as though you want to help her."

"Of course I want to help her. I'm a cop-it's my job to serve and protect."

"Yes, but I'm sensing more than just moral responsibility. Ms. Mayfield-she is single I assume?"

"Yes. She values her independance and whatever emotional needs she has are satisfied through her family. I'm sensing she hasn't had a serious relationship in years, if ever."

"So Ms. Mayfield is a young, single, independant woman with whom you have been spending a lot of time. You want to care for and protect her and it sounds as though you admire her as a person. How else do you feel about her?"

Bobby's expression hardened as he looked at Dr. Gyson. He respected her and though she was quite intelligent, but sometimes she completely missed the points he tried to make and came up with ridiculous theories. He shook his head and looked down at his hands.

"First you think I'm in love with my partner and now I can't do my job without letting my emotions get in the way? Is it so hard for you to believe I can professionally and effectively carry out my responsibilities without completely screwing up? Believe it or not, but I can keep Mary safe without trying to seduce her. She could be my daughter for God's sake!"

"But she isn't your daughter. She is the only woman, apart from Detective Eames and myself, that you have spent considerable time with. You met twice before her attack and from you're telling me, it appears the two of you had some sort of connection."

"The first time we met I was defending her from Mr. Alden and the second time we barely spoke. She was accompanying her sister on a field trip and we scarcely talked. If anything, she spoke more with Eames than me."

"Yes, but the fact of the matter is you still spoke to her and that encounter must have made some sort of impression because you remember it so well. Bobby, it's perfectly fine if you have feelings for her. You are with her day and night and you haven't spent time with another woman like this in a long time. Who was the last woman in your life?"

"Dr. Gyson, why are you so obsessed with my love life?" Bobby demanded. "this is the fourth session where you have intimated that all of my problems stem from a lack of romantic connections. Believe it or not Dr., but I am capable of being damaged over far more than that."

"I'm not saying you're not, Detective, but this seems to be a sensitive subject for you. What happened to that relationship? Did your professional obligations get in the way?"

"Something like that," Bobby murmured, looking down at his hands, playing with his fingers.

Dr. Gyson looked at his quizzically and Bobby continued speaking, although not really focusing on his words. If he allowed himself to be cognizant, he would never allow himself to explore this topic, but remaining detatched made things easier.

"There...there was a woman in my life many years ago, but our...relationship was complicated. We met while Eames and I were investigating a case and our paths continued to cross."

"Was she a victim as well?"

"No," Bobby said, his lips twitching as he played with his fingers. "she...she committed horrendous crimes, but the evidence we had against her wouldn't stick. She...she was the one suspect I was never able to truly apprehend. She was always one step ahead of us...me. She said she was my white whale."

"What else was she to you? No matter what she may or may not have done in the past, did you have other feelings for her?"

"She murdered innocent people, including my..." Bobby stopped himself in time, earning a raised eyebrow from Dr. Gyson. "not only did she commit unspeakable crimes, she manipulated other people to do so as well. She took advantage of an innocent, troubled young woman for her own amusement and killed her when she had fullfilled her purpose. I would never want to be with someone like that."

"Yes, I know you would never actively seek out someone like that, but we cannot control who we are attracted to. I think deep down you did-do-have feelings for her, but your sense of moral responsibility prevents you from admitting it out loud. I think you are finding it difficult to connect with another person on an emotional level because you are afraid of once again being drawn to someone who isn't compatable with your moral compass."

Bobby merely glared at Dr. Gyson, allowing her to continue talking while silently willing the minute hand of her clock to pick up the pace. Although he didn't have romantic feelings for Mary, he still very much wanted to help her and listening to an alledged expert spout her concern for his lovelife wasn't what he considered a productive step in that direction.