"Gibbs?!" He pulled me in to a strong hug as I continued to stammer. Callen was the first from the team to turn to see what I was stuttering about. He smiled when he saw who I was hugging.

"What are you? I mean, how did you? Is this real?" I said rushing through the questions. He laughed releasing me from one of his rare hugs so he could shake G's hand.

"Im here for a few reasons. First and foremost, where is my adorable niece" Gibbs said looking around the room for Paige. I glanced upstairs and saw her disappearing into the workout room. I sighed slipping away to check on her. Something had to be up for her to be avoiding her favorite relative. I slid into the workout room to find her pacing back and forth hyperventilating.

"Paige" I started a little worriedly. We had tried our hardest to keep her from putting stress on her body but nothing had worked. Whenever she could she would do small things to defy Dom and myself. This was one of those things.

"He shouldn't be here" she said running her free hand through her hair. "I mean he really shouldn't be here."

"what are you talking about you love uncle Gibbs will you just come down stairs" I said grabbing her arm to stop her pacing. It was moments like these I truly believed everything people said about pregnancy brain, I would have called her crazy if I didn't know she could snap like a twig and kill me.

"He CAN'T be here" she said again staring me dead in the eyes.

"Why"

"He doesn't know"

"Paige, your worrying me, what doesn't he know"

"None of my family knows and this was not the way I was planning on telling any of them."

"About Sammy? Oh, honey its Gibbs when has he ever been mad at either of us"

"Well there was that time with the spray-paint" she said just to prove a point.

"Really that's what you choose to remember of all things"

"Well you asked"

"I meant about something like this dork, something big"

"I consider my permanent record a pretty big deal, and besides what if he dislikes Dom, what if he tells my parents? I cant possibly deal with them right now"

"You know I remember a time when I had to convince you to even consider lying to your parents and now look at you keeping things a secret that don't need to be a secret. I mean I know your parents they will be so excited to be grandparents. Especially since I think they gave up on that notion a while ago." I was just trying to convince her to see Gibbs. My visit had been cut short and I wanted to get back soon.

"Im just scared"

"I know but that group out there they will be your family no matter what okay?" I slid my arm around her shoulder and let her out. We looked down at the group mingling the bullpen. I noticed a couple of new faces around our friends. As we got closer to the stairs I recognized them, Tony and McGee. I let go of Paige and ran down the stairs.

"Timmy" I yelled before throwing myself into his arms. He chuckled dropping his bags and hugging me back. I smiled at Tony across the group. It had been far too long since I had seen these boys. I let go of Timmy and leaned against my desk. Everyone was mingling except Gibbs and Paige who were off in a corner arguing about something. Callen leaned against the desk next to me smiling.

"Its been a while since I have seen Gibbs" he said almost chuckling.

"Same here" I said sliding a little closer. Our hands were almost touching it was as close as we had ever been at work. Our hands brushed against each other just as Tony turned to find me. I sighed pushing off from the desk and walking toward Tony. He draped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me away from the rest of the group.

"It's good to see you again" he said pulling me around the corner and out of sight.

"you too Tony"

"Christy… I really miss you"

"Tony I can't do this with you again"

"Chris…"

"Tony stop you know why I can't do this"

"Chris I really miss you like a lot come on you can't say you don't miss me even a little"

"Tony stop" I pushed away from him, moving toward where we left the team. He reached for my arm but I slipped his grasp. I couldn't deal with him right now. I couldn't think about that. I didn't want that life not anymore I had family and friends here. I mean a few years ago maybe. Tony and I had always had a weird chemistry from day one.

"Christy wait" he called as I headed back toward the main office. He caught up to me just before I could turn the corner. He pulled me gently into his arms. I was shaking with rage and tried to push away.

"Tony if you do not let me go right now" letting the threat hang in the air.

"Christy Please I miss you I'll do anything, I just nothing in my life is working and all I can think about is how great we were"

"Tony in what universe were you living in?" I said trying to push away from him again.

"Chris we had our problems but you can't tell me it wasn't worth it. We were in love"

"No Tony we weren't you and I were hot for each other nothing more." It had been so much more but it didn't matter now. Not anymore I was here now in LA. I was with people I cared about. I was with Callen. I couldn't even finish my thoughts. Tony was leaning in, looking into my eyes. He wasn't. He was, I tried to pull back but he had his hands tight against my back. No, my head was screaming at me to do Something. Anything but I was frozen.

He kissed me and I was frozen. I hated the feeling of helplessness. I pushed against Tony's chest again trying to get away. He let me go and I staggered back. I stared into his eyes for a long moment before storming back toward the rest of the group. I couldn't think straight what had he just done. How could he have done that.

The flashbacks were playing behind my eyes, everything. Tony and my relationship, the last few months, and all my nightmares rushed up like a wall. I could feel my chest tightening and fire pricking my eyes. I grabbed my stuff and rushed toward the door. I needed an escape, a break, something. I got to the car before I let everything out. My breath was ragged and rapid. I couldn't stop the flashbacks playing in my mind. I slid my knees to my chest and lowered my head to my knees.

"Hey" Deeks said tapping against the window. I started but unlocked the door knowing he wouldn't let this go if I didn't let him in.

"So you are you going to talk to me or just have a mental breakdown in your car by yourself."

"Deeks I can't I really can't if I talk about it I won't be able to stop. I need to keep it bottled up"

"Christy we are family you can tell me anything no judgement or anything"

"Deeks I haven't even told G"

"Sometimes we need to get things off our chest without telling someone who loves us in that way. Talk to me I'm your brother"

"Deeks if I tell you you will see me different I can't have that, I've been through so much and if I keep bringing it up I won't recover."

"Christy please I can't imagine what you are going through"

"Marty you don't understand I haven't slept a full night without waking up shaking or screaming, I check every person I pass expecting them to jump at me. I have never been so scared in my entire life."

"Christy please" he put his arm around my shoulders. I was shaking it was all far too much to deal with right now.

"Deeks horrible things happened to me, awful horrible things." He pulled me closer letting my head rest on his chest.

"Christy I am so sorry I had no idea. Why didn't you tell us? We are here for you. "he ran his hand over my hair and held me while I cried. "Christy you will recover I know you will"

"Marty promise me you won't tell anyone I can't imagine everyone's reaction. G would kill them all, and Paige is so pregnant she might go into labor.

"Christy I promise" he kissed my forehead and hugged me tight. "are you going to be okay or do you want me to stay with you."

"I'm okay I just need some air and some space."

"Call me okay, if you need anything call me. You need people right now and I want to be one of your people."