Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Star Trek or Harry Potter. They belong to J.J Abrams, Gene Roddenberry and J.K Rowling.

Warnings: Slash (malexmale pairings), threesome, AU, angst, violence, psychological disorders, sexual situations, badly written accents, etc.

Pairings: Established Spock/Kirk, Sulu/Chekov, Scotty/Uhura, Future Spock/Harry/Kirk

44. Understanding

"What do you wish to do Jim?" Spock questioned in the safety of their quarters. Currently his bond mate was pacing the length of their bedroom in a display of agitation and uncertainty. Harry's story, his past, had certainly been more than they anticipated. It had sounded ridiculous and downright crazy, but the evidence was there; had been shown to them not only when Harry saved them but also through demonstrations. They couldn't deny the facts when they stared them in the face; Harry was a wizard and magic was apparently real.

"I… I don't know Spock. I don't know what to do or how to feel! I mean, he lied to us!" Jim paused clenching his fists slightly trickles of betrayal passing through their bond, "We don't even know who Harry is anymore! Was everything just a façade? And these feelings… are they even real?"

Understanding his captain's emotions, Spock moved forward and carefully placed his hands upon his shoulders turning him slightly. Softly he spoke, "While I understand the reasoning for your emotions Jim I also understand the logic of Hadrian's.. of Harry's decision to keep his past to himself."

Frowning Jim mumbled, "What do you mean?"

"It is not that Harry did not trust us nor did he gain satisfaction in misleading us. I believe that one reason for his secrecy was that Harry felt that should the wrong person learn of his or Teddy's abilities that most likely they would be taken and subjected to some sort of physical harm in an attempt to study them. He felt he was taking the appropriate measures to protect himself and his son," Spock explained. Jim slowly nodded thoughtfully questioning, "And the other reason?"

"I also believe that Harry merely wished to forget of his past pains both willingly and perhaps not so willingly. As an individual who suffers from PTSD Harry is subjected to the symptoms of his mental disease as we have witnessed before and has no control over them. This includes the avoidance symptoms such as evading places, events or objects that serve as reminders of his past as well as having trouble remembering the dangerous events he went through," the Vulcan lectured before continuing, "There is also the strong possibility that Harry saw this opportunity as a new beginning for himself; a new life without any ties to his past and what he has suffered. Hence why he changed his name and formed a new persona for himself. It was a choice he felt would detach him from who he was before and allow him to become who he wished to be."

Jim stared thoughtfully at the floor. He honestly hadn't looked at it in that way. If he had been in Harry's shoes, he would have done the same thing most likely. Sometimes he had wished in the past that he had been born a different person who had no connections to the name Kirk. But Harry had been forced into a time, a place he was unfamiliar with and he had struggled and lied in some ways in order to get where he was. He obviously hadn't been proud of it, but he didn't regret it either if it was the only way he could survive.

Running a hand through his hair Jim sighed, "I… I still care about him Spock. I care about him so much that I feel like my chest is about to burst. And now that I know the truth, know everything he's been through and suffered; the choices he was forced to make and the horrors he had to witness… I just want to lock him in a room and keep him safe, to never let anyone hurt him."

Spock stepped closer as Jim looked up at him with vulnerable blue eyes whispering softly, "I just… oh god Spock I like him! And just in the 'I like him as a friend' sort of like, but the 'I really like him I want to jump his bones and keep him chained to my side' sort of like! But I love you Spock, I still love you and the fire I felt for you since the beginning is still there. But now there's another spark, another flame and it burns for Harry and I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm betraying you even though I still love you just as much. You're my Spock, my T'hy'la!"

"Hush Jim," Spock spoke soothingly his thumbs rubbing careful circles along his shoulders, "You have no reason to feel any shame… for I feel the same way."

Jim blinked in shock choking, "W-what?"

"I feel the same as you do Jim. Just as I burn for you, I too began to burn for Harry. I grew fond of him over time as well as protective. To think of anything or anyone harming him brought forth illogical emotions of fear and anger, emotions I associate with you when I worry for your safety. And much like with you I found myself becoming possessive of him when others showed interest in courting him and I could feel it in you as well. We both desire Harry for he calls to us just as we called to each other," Spock reassured.

Jim became quiet as he allowed Spock to hold him, something the Vulcan often did when his T'hy'la was upset; it was an emotional need that they indulged in secretly. Sighing softly and lightly burying his face in a familiar warm chest, Jim muttered, "Now what?"

"I would suggest speaking with Harry privately on the matter. No doubt that he is concerned over our reaction to his story and most likely feels that there is a great chance of us rejecting him," Spock replied. Jim frowned, "Well yeah I know we have to talk to him, but that wasn't what I meant."

"Please clarify."

"I mean… what are we going to do about… how we feel for him?"

Spock appeared thoughtful for a moment before speaking, "Considering that these emotions effect not only myself but you as well, it's only logical that we investigate Harry's feelings as well. If they are positive toward us then we shall express our desire to court him."

Jim blinked owlishly before snickering and shaking his head. An eyebrow was raised as Spock inquired, "May I query as to what I have said to amuse you Jim?"

"Nothing, you're just too cute sometimes Spock. But I agree, we need to talk to Harry and find out what he feels for us. If there's a chance he does, even a small one, then I think we definitely need to take him on a date. Show him that we're serious." Spock nodded as he absentmindedly stroked his captain's back. All they could hope for tomorrow was the chance to either maintain the strong friendship they had with Harry or perhaps form a new relationship with him. And suddenly, time seemed to move far too slow for their liking.

I'm sure many of you can guess what's going to happen next chapter so just hang in there! And I'm sure you've noticed how I didn't have either Jim or Spock say they love Harry and this is for personal reasons. I find it unrealistic to love someone you've only known for a little while; like them and care for them deeply yes but not love. For me love is something you build with time and effort. I wonder if that makes sense but it's how I feel. People now or days throw around the word "love" too much without really understanding its meaning. So yeah, none of them will really be saying "I love you" for a while just because I don't think it's in their characters to say it when they've barely gotten together is all.

And I'm done with my ranting! Remember to please leave a review and I hope you enjoyed! Thanks!

~Seth