It was harder than ever before to go with the Outcasts that night. But what else could I do?

We raided Berk, setting small fires to fences. The dragons all circled around, lighting the fires, then shot upwards into the air to escape the vikings scrambling to put the fires out.

Alvin had explained that we wanted to strike fear into the people of Berk. What better way to do it than to surround them with fire?

We wouldn't hurt anyone. We'd just scare them.

That's all.

I shook my head to clear those thoughts. I needed to focus.

A fence near a small house caught fire. The fire spread toward the house, closer, closer…

A woman ran out, clutching a baby. She screamed as the flames nearly leaped onto her and the baby, missing by only inches.

Toothless and I swooped down. I don't think anyone saw us against the flickering shadows as Toothless's broad wings blew air on the fire, sweeping it away from the woman and her house.

I saw Stoick coming down the road, and he looked furious.

Urging Toothless up, I made sure we couldn't been seen. We sped out of the village and down to the Outcast Ship just offshore, in plain sight of the village if anyone had the time to look during the chaos.

We landed on the ship. "That was too close," I said. "That wasn't the plan. We could've killed people!"

"Relax, boy," Alvin said. "The point is, you didn't. And the people of Berk aren't hunting dragons too much now, are they?"

"I- I don't think we can keep doing this."

"And what would you do then? Leave us, too? You're an Outcast. Don't forget it." His voice was husky and loud.

My shoulders sagged. Of course I couldn't forget it. I had nowhere else to turn to, not if I wanted to save the dragons. "When's the next raid?" I asked.

"This next one's going to be big. Give us three days to prepare, then meet us at Outcast Island."

"I'll be there," I promised. Toothless took off, flying away, with the other dragons following behind.

We didn't go all the way to Dragon Island. We stopped at some sea stacks off the coast, dropping down flat against the ground on top, over fifty feet above the ocean.

I tumbled off Toothless. I knelt, doubled over, on the ground. I couldn't get that woman's face out of my mind. I could have killed her. I could have killed her baby.

I felt nauseated. My stomach was empty, so I could only dry heave as I knelt there. The woman's scream echoed inside my head… I shook my head, muttering the words "I did this" over and over.

I curled up in a little ball as I tried to shut my mind off. I didn't want to be doing this. I couldn't.

But I was in too deep. I couldn't get out of this now.

Toothless gently nudged me. I reached out my hand and laid it on his head. He settled down next to me.

I must have drifted off to sleep eventually. But I didn't sleep well for a long time. I dreamed of fires, of screams, of dragons wrecking havoc on the village. Toothless and I were in the center, urging them on.

I dreamed that as I was on Toothless, I looked toward the edge of the village. I saw myself there, with my invention. I shot it at a dark streak in the sky. Toothless.

I was no different than the others.

Panting, I sat up, awake once more. It was still the middle of the night. Why did I dream of the morning I shot Toothless? I wasn't one of those people anymore. I didn't just fight whatever I was afraid of.

Or maybe…

No! I wasn't one of them!

Wiping sweat from my face, I lay back down. I tried to stop trembling. I wanted to sleep, a deep sleep. I wanted to forget the events of the night.

I wanted to be done with this. But I never could be.