Chapter 41: The Other Side of the Coin

No matter what direction he looked, everything was black.

Luke once again found himself in the familiar landscape, if you could even call it that. There was no ground, nor was there a sky, just himself lost among the shadows. It wasn't even really darkness, it was nothing, a void, the absence of anything other than oneself, and at times Luke even doubted that much.

Though it was familiar, even expected, the terror that it always brought never changed. He was alone. No one to help him if he needed it, no one to stop him from hurting more people, no one at all. He was alone, and that solitude was what bound him. This was his world, his place, alone in oblivion.

But he couldn't stay here. If he didn't move, he would never save Asch. If he didn't step forward, he may never see his older brother again. So why? Why were his feet frozen to the ground, blocks of lead that refused to budge? Luke was afraid… what if he fell? If he didn't move forward, he couldn't save Asch! But if he fell, what would happen then? There wouldn't be anything to stop him from falling forever, no one to save him. There was no one left to save Asch if Luke fell, but he couldn't if he didn't step forward!

Luke remained frozen to the spot where he stood. He couldn't… he knew he had to, but he couldn't… He had to save Asch, he had to take that step, but if he fell, there would be no hope. No chance of ever saving Asch's life, no hope of ever seeing him again, there would be nothing but death. He couldn't face that… not alone.

Suddenly, Luke began to sink. He struggled frantically, trying to climb out of the darkness that threatened to swallow him. He couldn't fall! Not this time! Too much... too much was on the line!

Asch!

But the more Luke struggled, the faster he sank. Darkness no longer surrounded him, and he was sinking into a sea of miasma. Akzeriuth sank around him, dying as he fought for his own life against the toxic sludge. He had to- He had to- He couldn't die here!

Cold flesh brushed against Luke's bear arms sending chills up his spine. Their voices cried out, an eerie sound echoing in the endless abyss. His teeth clenched tightly; ignore it, just ignore it. You can't save them… you can't help them anymore.

Save us.

The rotting hands clutched Luke, restraining his movements. No! He fought against their grip, but his efforts were futile. The dead did not let go so easily. Tears streamed down his face as he fought again and again. There were faces now, so many faces. He could see them all. A mother and her baby, the kids that had played tag, the miners, they were all there and they all sought nothing more than to see Luke join them deep below in the miasma.

No! Let me go!

Come with us.

It wasn't just the people of Akzeriuth anymore. Chesedonia, Engeve, they were all there. All those people, all those people would die, and it was all his fault! But he couldn't, he couldn't give up! He didn't kill them! He didn't! He saved them, right? He let them live, right?

And for what? To die a slow and painful death…

No! I didn't-

Luke fought and fought and fought but the more he struggled, the stronger their grip became. He couldn't let them- He had to save Asch! He couldn't-

Accept your fate.

Let go!

Come with us.

Luke could no longer move as the toxic sludge came up around his neck. He was drowning! He couldn't breathe! He couldn't- He couldn't-

Luke woke with a start, instinctively sitting up and reaching out for something, anything, and was surprised to find a support within his reach. It took a moment before he was able to catch his breath, but his heart just wouldn't stop racing. Why… why did it bother him so much? He'd been having the same nightmare for months now… so why did it still terrify him as much as the first one had?

"Are you alright?" Guy's comforting voice helped soothe the young noble who was still using the blonde's arm as support.

"Yeah, I just had a bad dream," Luke replied, his voice coming out monotone and distant as he remembered the reality of his current situation. The redhead let go of Guy's arm, wobbling a bit before finally managing to steady himself.

The blonde let out a frustrated sigh. Luke was still upset, not that anyone could blame him, not with what had just happened. In the end it had taken the combined efforts of himself, Ion and Jade to convince Luke not to take off after Asch right then and there. He had eventually agreed to stay on the condition they leave for Daath at first light… but he wasn't happy about it.

That was peculiar in itself, after all, there was no guarantee that the God-Generals were taking Asch to Daath. But Luke was absolutely positive that was where they had to go, and for whatever reason Jade was willing to go along with it. Guy still didn't get it, but far be it from him to argue. He certainly wasn't going to be the one to get in Luke's way. It was probably safer not to test the extremes to which Luke was likely to go to ensure that no harm befell his other half.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine," Luke dismissed his comrade's concerns.

Guy eyed his best friend, but decided against pointing out that Luke was a terrible liar and that he very obviously was not fine. How could he be while Asch was in the custody of the God-Generals? Especially given the fact they had tried to kill Luke, what could they possibly have in store for Asch? Even Guy was worried; he couldn't imagine what must be going through Luke's head. Was it really any wonder his best friend was having nightmares?

Guy watched as Luke returned to sleep; even he knew that he'd need his strength over the next few days. They all would. Trying to get into Daath unnoticed would be tricky at best, and would involve a lot of walking. Unfortunately, as useful as the Albiore was, it wasn't exactly inconspicuous. Who else used an air ship? No one. They'd might as well announce their arrival. Guy let out another sigh, returning his attention to the night beyond the fire's glow, all the while listening as Luke returned to a fit of restless slumber.

Luke wasn't the only one who wasn't sleeping properly… Guy glanced over his other shoulder where Natalia was tossing and turning. Tears were running down her face, and it didn't take a genius to figure out what she was dreaming about.

It would take a genius to figure this whole mess out though; Guy ran his fingers through his hair as he went over everything in his mind again. Nothing made sense and he doubted that it would until they could get all the information.

Natalia had been completely inconsolable and eventually Tear had resorted to singing the princess to sleep, anything to calm her down. Luke refused to talk, though Jade had eventually managed to pry his side of the story out. They would have to wait until Natalia woke up to find out what had really happened. Even Luke only knew what he'd heard Sync say, she was the only one with all the answers. Regardless, things looked pretty bad for her. They all knew that she had been mad at Luke, but this was taking things to an all new extreme.

What could she have been thinking? First of all, she had been out there alone, and without a weapon. It was no wonder she ended up getting as hurt as she did. You would think that she of all people should know better. It would be a lie to say that everyone wasn't upset with her, no matter what reason she may have had, to be willing to hand Luke over to the God-Generals… and when they were planning to kill him… Guy just didn't get it. What were they holding over her head to make her act that way? And yet, no matter how unforgivable it seemed, no one could quite bring themselves to hate her. Whatever she had planned had backfired horribly, and for her, in the worse possible way.

Asch was gone, so was everyone's trust in her. Then there was the fact she could easily be accused of treason by her own country for handing Asch over to the enemy like that, even if it had been by accident. Her friends, her fiancée, and even her country…

She had lost everything.

Hearing what she had to say would be interesting to say the least. Guy couldn't even fathom what may have driven her to such extreme lengths, and an explanation might do some good to resolve the tension involving her continued presence among them. Though he doubted all the explanations in the world would do Luke any good. There wouldn't be any hope of reconciliation for them until they had Asch back safe and sound.

And if Asch wasn't safe and sound… well Guy would rather not consider the implications of that scenario. He had to hope that Van had something in mind for Asch, some reason that he needed him alive.

Because if not, help would come far too late.

--

Figuring out where he was wasn't the problem, he knew this place far better then he'd like to. In fact, a holding cell was probably the one place in Daath in which he had spent the most time, including the streets and the inn. It was trying to figure out how the hell he got here that was exhausting his drug-fogged mind. He remembered switching with Luke, then he had stayed behind with the girls while the others got more firewood and water. Everyone had talked around the fire for awhile, and after that he had gone to meet…

Natalia.

The memories came rushing back once that one fact was solidified in his mind. Her speech, his struggle, the drug-soaked handkerchief…and everything going black, he remembered it all. But why? He knew the tensions between her and Luke had reached an all-time high, but even then, it wasn't like her. But she hadn't been herself for a long time now. She was cold, bitter, angry and always upset. Asch couldn't even remember the last time he had seen her smile, genuinely smile for him. Did she really hate him that much?

She hated him enough to betray him. And that alone was more of an answer than he wanted.

Asch sighed leaned back against the stone wall of his cell, staring out through the bars at the Oracle Knights who dutifully stood guard. They were on their best behaviour too; no slacking off or flirting with the female acolytes, and it probably had everything to do with the fact that Sync was sitting impatiently another ten feet away. From what Asch could make out of his mood, the first guard to do so much as breathe out of line was going to severely regret it.

Asch didn't entirely blame Sync for being ticked off. Guarding a prisoner was not typically a duty given to someone as high-ranking as a God-General, but they had all been taking turns. It seemed that Van refused to let him slip through his fingers again. Well the lying bastard could burn in hell for all he cared, there was no way he was going to join that lunatic on his so-called crusade against the Score.

--

Asch slowly stirred, his head was throbbing, and he could distinctly feel the dried blood on the back of his neck. Just where…? What was he laying on? It was… red? Asch clutched his fist to get a feel for the strange red substance, and was rewarded with a loud squawk. They were… feathers? What in all the…

Pain shot through Asch's body, protesting the unwanted movement. He was stiff and sore all over, and his head wasn't the only place he could feel blood. But in spite of the constant throbbing, Asch did his best to gather his thoughts. The last thing he remembered, he had been in the mines below Akzeriuth. He had been running, then he came upon a strange room and…

Luke! Asch sat up so fast, the blood rushed to his head and the ensuing dizziness sent him crashing into the rock ground from the large bird that he had been resting on. He looked around frantically, Luke and the others were nowhere to be found. What happened? What happened to Akzeriuth? Approaching the nearby cliff, Asch found the answer he was looking for.

Though the screams had subsided, several voices could still be heard echoing off the mountains, their dying breaths crying for help. Only a few traces of the once proud city remained, and they too were slowly crumbling, being claimed by the abyss that had opened up beneath them. How… What the hell had he done?!

"Careful," Van's smooth voice slithered into Asch's ears, doing nothing but causing the redhead even more alarm. "Are you alright? You need to be careful, I don't have anything to bandage those wounds, and we don't want you losing any more blood."

"What the hell do you want?!" Asch demanded, backing away from his approaching teacher. "What did you do?!"

"I saved your life. I barely got you out of there in time. This," Van waved his arm to indicate the falling city. "This, I'm afraid, is all Luke's doing. He tried his hardest to help, but he was doomed to begin with."

"Like hell it is," Asch shot. "Where's Luke? What did you do to him?"

"I hate to be the one to tell you this, but Luke is dead."

"What?"

"I tried to save him, but I couldn't reach him in time. He fell along with the city."

Asch simply stared at Van dumbfounded. It was a lie, it just had to be.

"How…how the hell did all of this happen?"

"Rather than how, shouldn't you be asking a better question?" Van suggested.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Rather than ask how, shouldn't you be asking why? Why was Luke here in the first place? Luke doesn't have near the experience or the talents necessary to act as an ambassador, at least not in such an important mission. Why were you and Princess Natalia not allowed to come along, even though you had no other duties to attend to? Why was His Majesty so adamant about sending Luke despite your protests? Why?"

"Because…"

"That's right," Van encouraged his student to continue.

"Because of the Score?"

"Yes. The Score said that Akzeriuth would fall. The Score said that you would die. Your father, His Majesty, they all knew this, and what did they do? They sent Luke to die in your place, like some sort of disposable pawn. If it weren't for the Score, then Luke would still be alive. If it wasn't for their idiotic devotion to the Score, Akzeriuth would have been evacuated months ago. But no, everyone was left to die, and now Luke, Natalia, and all the others were forced to pay the price with their lives."

"It's not true," Asch shook his head.

"It is."

"No it's not! You're lying! Luke is alive!"

"I saw him die," Van solemnly told his student. "I would have done anything to try and avert his fate, but even I was too late. I'm sorry."

Asch shook his head in denial. He wasn't in denial of Luke's death, but rather just how blatant Van's lies were. He knew Luke was alive; he could sense his sibling's presence in the back of his mind, and while he couldn't get through to him for whatever reason, he knew that his little brother was most definitely among the living. Did Van honestly think Luke had died…or was he just lying and using the probability to his own ends?

"But I have a way to fix it all," Van continued and Asch listened. Just what the hell was Van trying to get out of him with a stunt this elaborate?

"What's that?"

"Join me. Join me and together we'll get rid of the Score. We can purge this world of the poison on which it has become dependant; a false prophecy that demands innocent lives for no other reason than because it says so. I can't do it without your abilities. Help me build a new world free of such pointless malice!"

"No," Asch refused.

"Why not?"

"I won't meet destruction with more destruction. You're lying to me. I know that Luke isn't dead and if you're lying about that, what else are you lying about?"

"That replica is doomed to die."

"Not if I have anything to say about it!" Asch's expression turned dangerous.

"What do you think you can do against Yulia's Score?" Van challenged his student. "You can't alter it; the only option open to you is to destroy it."

"I won't help you; I don't care what you're trying to do!"

"Fine," Van conceded. "I'll let you go for now. Take that creature there," Van pointed to the bird Asch had been sitting on. "Take it and see for yourself the future the Score has set out for this world. See what it will do to all those you hold dear."

--

Was that what this was? The Score's doing? Did the Score tell Natalia to hand Luke over to Van? Was that what Van had meant when he said the Score would ruin the lives of the people he cared about? Did it foresee this chain of events, or did the Score itself make them happen?

It seemed like there was nothing but questions, and with a God-General less than ten feet away, it didn't look like he would be getting answers anytime soon. Was the Score really to blame for all of this? Was that why Natalia suddenly hated him and Luke was keeping secrets? It was destiny; it was unavoidable. Was there really no other future? No future where Natalia got along with Luke, no future where Asch could trust the people he cared about. There was no future in which he was meant to be happy?

Why not? Why didn't he deserve a bright future? Because Yulia decided 2000 years ago that certain people would be happy while others were left to suffer and die? Asch refused to accept that. If that's all the Score is, then screw it altogether. It's not like the damn thing means anything in the first place. He wasn't going to throw away his happiness, his future... for that. Maybe Van didn't have things so wrong after all.

Asch felt his chest tighten, a ghostly hand that clutched his heart and refused to let go. He just didn't have it in him anymore. Weeks of nothing but worrying, frantically searching for answers, compromises, laying awake into the early morning hours trying to make everyone happy… it had all been for absolutely nothing! Look at where it got him. Sitting alone in a cell with the world and everyone he gave a damn about with their backs turned. So what the hell had been the point? Why did he even try?

And for the first time in a long time, Asch allowed despair to claim him. He just couldn't… even he couldn't fight forever… he couldn't fight for nothing.

Not when even Natalia had turned against him.

But Natalia hadn't meant to hand him over. This trap had been set for Luke, and he had been ensnared instead. Not that it really made much difference in the end; the feelings involved were still the same, the betrayal all too real. But what had been the point? What purpose did Van have for Luke? Was it their hyperresonance? It was the only thing Asch could come up with, but it didn't make any sense. If that was the case, why not have used Luke from the start? It would have been ten times easier to get Luke's help before Van had betrayed them in Akzeriuth, but he was the one Van had clearly expressed interest in. So why was Luke the target? Using him as bait seemed pointless if the trap could just as easily have been set for him. Things just didn't add up…

That replica is doomed to die.

Could it be… Van wanted Luke dead? That had to be it. Probably in some convenient manner that didn't implicate him in any way. Then he could blame the Score, and get Asch's own cooperation. Asch kicked the bars of his cell in frustration. He would never let that bastard pull something like that off. Just let him try it, it'd be the last thing he ever did. Van could spend seven lifetimes trying, but Asch would never trust him again, much less let him near Luke.

But who could he trust anymore? He couldn't trust Van, he couldn't trust Natalia… and if he couldn't even trust his own fiancée, then who was left? Luke? He knew that Luke didn't want him any harm, but even Luke kept his secrets. Though Asch hadn't said anything, he had seen Luke's nightmares that one night; he had been given a glimpse into the nightmarish reality Luke was fighting against. Asch had hoped that if he gave Luke time, his little brother might mention it on his own… but Luke was as secretive as ever. No one trusted him, and he couldn't trust anyone. Was that why he was constantly being betrayed by the people he cared about?

What options were there then? There was no saying who would be the next person to turn them over to Van or even Mohs… that was, of course, assuming he found a way out of this mess. Could he just leave on his own? Take Luke with him and they could take care of Van's plans themselves. It was what they had planned to do from the start. Everyone else had gotten involved and were dragged around, some against their will, and look at what became of it.

Things would just be simpler with him and Luke. Even if Luke kept his secrets, at least he knew his little brother would never betray him. They could do it, just the two of them…

Asch stopped in the middle of his train of thought. He threw his head back against the stone wall and in spite of himself he began to laugh. He drew the attention of Sync and the two guards who could only wonder what sort of insanities could spawn such a crazed laughter.

Just what was he thinking? He couldn't just drag Luke away from everyone like that. He may have his problems, but Luke genuinely cared about every one of them. They were his friends, people he looked up to, respected, cared about and trusted. Who was Asch to make him drop all of that on a moment's notice?

But how did Luke do it? Couldn't he see? Jade's cryptic messages never bothered him, Guy's questionable loyalties didn't sit at the back of his mind, and Tear's ties to Mohs meant absolutely nothing. Luke was happy. He was comfortable when he was around everyone, he smiled and laughed along side them, and he enjoyed nothing more than to see them happy, just as they did for him.

But Asch wasn't a part of that. There was still an awkwardness with others that he couldn't explain; a wall between him and the world Luke lived in. Luke was always so kind and so open; willing to talk to almost anyone about anything and everything under the sun. He never seemed worried about lies and deceit; that someone might be scheming behind his back, patiently waiting until his guard was down. In Luke's world those sorts of things just didn't exist, and when it did, they were dealt with after the fact.

Luke was just an idiot! A… a naïve fool…

Luke lived in his own little world… and Asch wanted nothing more than to be a part of it.

The time that Asch spent pretending to be Luke easily made up some of his fondest memories. It was a small taste of a forbidden freedom. Free from the concerns that always plagued his mind, free of the worry that someone was going to stab him in the back, and for a brief time, all those walls around him came crashing down. Not to have a care in the world, no responsibilities to see to, no need for secrets, lies and deceit... just free to live and love the world for what it was. That was what Asch longed for more than anything.

A freedom he was never allowed.

Ever since he had been old enough to understand what it meant, he had known he would someday inherit the throne. He had been raised a ruler and was taught all the proper mannerisms and skills that would befit one. He never had the time to pursue his own interests, his own hobbies. Politics, history, swordsmanship, mannerisms... there had never been time to learn about the birds that flew through the air or to learn to play the flute. He had been refused before the question left his lips. All his energy was to be put into his lessons, because he was to rule Kimlasca someday, because he was to marry Natalia and because there was no one else who could fill that role but him.

He didn't hate his future, far from it. He had always loved the difference he could make, the power he had to help those who needed it and though it had been chosen for him, he couldn't imagine following any other path. Still… all those days he had gone off to the castle while Luke sat in the yard feeding the birds... he couldn't help but envy him.

Luke had a future of infinite possibilities. He could go where his heart took him and do anything he wanted to do. He wasn't bound by the same chains that kept Asch locked away. Responsibilities, obligations, duties, he wasn't hindered by any of these things… the world was his to discover and conquer.

And Asch didn't doubt for a second that he would.

Luke had grown. How he handled himself in Engeve was proof of just how much he had changed. He had so easily gained everyone's trust, so quickly rallied their support and had been able to save them all as a result. That was something Asch could never do, and he knew it. Though he knew he had the support of his people, he certainly couldn't win over the hearts of others the way Luke could. Asch just couldn't bring himself to open up like that. It was probably the reason he never had any friends of his own.

It was sad, but it was a fact Asch had long since accepted. He had never been able to relate to others, and had quickly estranged the majority of the noble children in those few years after his kidnapping. The only person he ever really had to turn to had been Luke, but Luke was family, and while he cared for him like no other, it wasn't the same. Then there was their group now: Guy, Ion, Anise, Jade… none of them were really his friends, they were all Luke's. Being forced to choose, they would all turn to Luke and Asch couldn't say he'd blame them.

Luke had lost his childish fears and timidity somewhere along the way, and had become so much more confident about his own abilities. Asch was proud of the way he had stood up for himself, but at the same time, he somewhat resented it. Luke didn't need someone to look out for him, someone to protect him anymore. Asch didn't want that, he didn't want his little brother to grow up just yet.

Because when he did, he wouldn't need Asch anymore.

And that would be the day Asch would have nothing left.

Author's Note: Just a quick note that I'm increasing the spoiler warning to full game spoilers for anyone who might not have finished the game yet. Thanks again to everyone who's been reading and an extra special thanks to those of you who've left reviews. I absolutely love reading them. Hope you keep enjoying!