"Watson can I check your email?" Holmes asked from the couch. He had become seriously bored with his violin, his chemistry set, and even his cocaine needle.

"No Holmes. I don't trust you after that last stunt you pulled."

Holmes sunk in his seat pouting like a little school child. "Come on Watson I promise I won't mess anything up again. Please I'm bored."

Watson stuck his head into the living room. Holmes was startled to see his friend wearing an apron and oven mitts.

"Fine Holmes, you may look. Yes, before you ask, I am wearing this. As you realize today is Mrs. Hudson's birthday. I'm cooking her favorite breakfast this morning and don't forget that were also going to clean the house for her. Holmes don't groan, it's not the end of the world."

"It is to me."

Holmes jumped off the couch and onto the computer. He scrolled through all of Watson's messages, most of which he thought to be junk. Then, out of nowhere the computer pinged so loudly it made Holmes jump.

"Read me the email Holmes." Watson called over the sound of cooking food.

Holmes glared through the wall at Watson and read loudly enough to wake the neighbors up:

Dear SH and JW;

Hello. Again. Watson, thank you for hurting Holmes for me. That made my day so much better.

Holmes- I dare you to find the end of Pi! Here's a start: 3.1415...

That should keep him busy. Oh, and if I was stalking you, Holmes would be dead or hospitalized. I have people who stalk you, while I stay in America. I just made you a little more uncomfortable.

FOOD GAME! Rules: state a food that starts with the last letter I say. I win, Watson beats up Holmes. Either of you win, Mrs. Hudson beats up Holmes. It's win-win, for me. Ready? Plum!

3

Me!

Watson came out of the kitchen and re-read the whole email for himself.

"She is creepy." Stated Holmes. "And an American at that. Why are almost all Americans creepy?"

"Actually, I want to talk to her spies." Said Watson. "Maybe I'd know where you hide all my underwear then."

"Hmm, when she said last letter does she really mean last letter like the 'm' in the word 'plum'?" asked Holmes.

"I think so. Either way you're still going to lose."

"Pssh, she cheats. I do not except the terms. But I will take on the pie challenge." Declared Holmes.

"That's pretty stupid Holmes." Watson said. "I mean, it goes on forever and not even a super computer could figure it out."

"Too bad." Said Holmes. "Here it is."

(HURRY UP AND SKIP THIS IF YOU DON"T WANNA GET BORED WITH Holmes TRYING TO BE SMART)

".

.

"Holmes." Watson finally said. "Stop. I'm pretty sure nobody cares."

Holmes panted for breath before passing out.

Watson sniggered. "Idiot."

A/N: children, that is 1,000,000,000 (1 million I hope I have enough 0's) numbers in pie and there are still more. I will not bore you anylonger with it. FWI that took 353 pages of word to write out. Oh, yea, ik you can't see it CAUSE FANFICTION IS MEAN, or it didn't want it.