Chapter 4. Hello turn your radio on (Shakespeare Sister)

I am a bad person for updating sooner. But I know you don't care about my RL so here is the story!

Stephenie Meyer is a very talented lady who owns all of the characters. She also owns a big house and probably doesn't argue with her husband over who drops the kids of and picks them up. I have more credits than you hubby, so suck it up.

~~OtA~~

EPOV

Edward wanked twice in the shower that afternoon. His lengthy stay in the shower meant that he was abusing the environment that day He toweled off, got dressed and headed out for a run.

Normally a run would clear his head. Make him reevaluate why he had to behave like a complete and utter ass everyday for a living. Something about running cleared your head and made you feel like the best version of yourself.

Unfortunately, the running didn't help his libido at all and instead of being completely and utterly exhausted he was still jacked up. He wanked again in the shower. He really needed to get one of those four minute shower timers. He did his usual afternoon routine - channel surfing for material, avoiding phone calls of his friends, his lawyers and his family. His parents did not know what he did for a living, and for that he was eternally grateful. How do you explain to your prim and proper mother that you are a world class jackass, who doesn't follow any of the principles that his parents taught their only child? He was quite embarrassed about his where his life was headed. And now his pathetic job meant that he couldn't tap the potential that was the decidedly delectable Miss Swan. Absolutely gorgeous. The brown hair, tied at the back of her neck, the milky white skin…she was perfection personified. And she had kissed him. Attacked him even.

He really wished she'd do it again.

BPOV

Bella continued to have issues with rising at 2am.

It was wrong in absolutely every way in the world for any human being to be up at this hour. It sincerely sucked, but once she got done fighting with her alarm, she found herself looking forward to seeing him again today.

What is it about good girls liking bad boys?

She was a good girl, no doubt there. Altruistic and giving. She gave to as many good causes as she could. She wanted to contribute to society- do something for the world. She didn't necessarily want to gain accolades for the work that she did, but she wanted to ensure that she left the world in a better place.

And screwing the delectable DJ EC was not the way to do it.

And so today's mantra began… "You do not want to fuck DJ EC."

"You do not want to fuck DJ EC."

Yes, yes she did. She really, really did. And she really, really shouldn't.

"He's repulsive. He is really, really repulsive. Delectably repulsive." She licked her lips.

"YOU do NOT want to fuck DJ EC, pathetic girl!"

So she repeated her 'no fucking' manta and drove herself to his radio station.

What was even attractive about him? He hadn't said a lot to her. He was good looking, if you liked that chiseled look in your men.

"For the love of God Isabella Swan, find something wrong with him!"

She looked at herself in the rear view mirror.

"His eyebrows! That's it! The eyebrows are disturbing. Like two caterpillars going at it." She smiled in satisfaction at her ability to coherently decide something that was repulsive about him. At least his eyebrows don't meet in the middle. She guessed however that he probably maintained them through waxing or laser treatments.

But then again, her eyebrows were disturbing as well. They only went 3/4 across her eyes. Maybe their children would have the perfect eyebrows; not to woolly and the full length they ought to be.

"You are not having children with him! This is mental - just shut up Bella!"

She stared at herself in the rear view mirror as she stopped the vehicle in the underground garage.

"Shut up weird eyebrow girl - talking out aloud to yourself. Get a grip today."

She chanted her little mantra to herself as she walked into the elevator.

She walked into the same meeting room that she had been in the previous morning. This time she was able to sit herself down on a chair appropriately. The energy in the room was just as exhausting as the day prior, perhaps even worse. More so because the staff were aware of the requirements of her being here. It didn't stop the repulsive jokes from being said, and being vetoed, and not necessarily just by her.

DJ EC chose to start the day in full character, American accent intact. He did seem a little more measured than the previous day. If she hadn't known better she would have thought that maybe a little of what she said to him had actually rubbed off. Other than the physical part of her that had rubbed off on him, that is.

She recommenced her chanting her little "no fucking" mantra.

She tried to discretely observe him. Today's ski-mask was a fetching old-lady lavender. Instead of looking ridiculous on him, the color made his sea-green eyes stand out. On the rare occasion she allowed herself to properly look at him, she was surprised by the intensity with which he studied her.

All right, fine. She was staring at him almost incessantly. The man had an ass you could bounce coins off of. His jeans were slightly low slung and at one stage when the team was doing the usual pre-show warm up and he raised his arms, she caught a glimpse of his happy trail. She loved that bit on gorgeous muscular men where the abdominal muscles meet near the hip bone.

And so as the show began, she continued to chant her ridiculous mantra and forced herself to listen to his crass and fake American accent. He did have it fairly down pat. It was like a cross between a redneck and an obnoxious stand-up comedian. Thankfully, no lesbian jokes today. Just a dig at the President's health reform initiative and an ad-lib moment about Justin Bieber getting his hat stolen in Australia. Something about referring to Australia as a 'penal' colony, in the same tone of excitement as a 10 year old boy would saying a word so similar to 'penis'.

The show wrapped up with a reminder that Friday's show was being held in a secret location and that Katy Perry would be attending the show as special guest performer.

She hadn't even had to think about pushing the delay button.

'What the fuck was that piece of mundane shit that you shoveled this morning EC?" The thundering voice was from Aro, the general manager.

'Bland, predictable shit." He continued to pull apart the show, glaring in Bella's general direction on several occasions, like she was the source of the problem.

Which she guessed she was, in a very roundabout sort of way.

"Ads are falling! We can't have a piece of shit show like this tomorrow." The former bravado of the room's occupants was gone. At least they took the success of their controversial radio show seriously.

"The Las Vegas show needs to be big, bad, unpredictable and fricking hilarious."

She sat up a little at this piece of knowledge. Las Vegas? Surely she could just stay in the studio and hit the delay button? Surely she wasn't meant to go to Las Vegas with him, and er,… the rest of the people in the room?

Hmmm…but what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right?

Aro declared the meeting over and requested that Bella and EC have their post show wrap up in Edward's office.

They looked at each other warily.

They walked awkwardly down the hallway, towards yesterday's scene of the crime. They tried not to touch each other.

He walked into the room and sat on the other side of the desk.

She shut the door. He stared at her, then the door and then back at her again.

"I shut the door because I figured this was supposed to be confidential, but I can, um, open it if you would like?"

"Yesterday was weird… really weird, wasn't it?" He ran his hair through his hair. The ski-mask was gone, as well as the American accent.

"Yes it was really weird. Umm, you…" Way to be articulate there, Bells.

"I don't want anything that I say to come out as additional harassment, so following the law, if anything I say is out of line, please accept my apology in advance, but I would like permission to speak freely?"

She smirked. "Permission granted, until I deny your ass."

"I find myself rather irrationally attracted to you." He looked at her rather dejected face and then continued. "Maybe I should rephrase that. I have every reason to be attracted to you - I mean you're gorgeous and intelligent and there is this weird electricity, but I should not be attracted to you given the bollocks of a situation that we are in." He exasperatedly rubbed his face with both of his hands.

"Um, bollocks?"

"English term, means ridiculous, stupid sort of."

"Hmm, yes then I would agree."

"I would really like to kiss you again. But I think that is a legal minefield, and I don't want to take down your reputation with mine."

"Yes, I would agree with that too."

"You want to kiss me again?"

"I don't mind going down with you." Whoops! Holy shit! Did she just say that out loud? By the look on his face, she did in fact utter the last comment out aloud.

"I seem to lose my ability to verbalize appropriately around you, Mr. Cullen."

"Do I claim sexual harassment here?" He smiled. A 1000 mega-watt smile. A 1000 mega-watt-melt-your-panties type of smile.

"I just said I would go down with you, didn't I? Stupid articulation thingy, brain-mouth filter seems to be faulty at present."

"Don't blame your mouth. I'm rather fond of your mouth." He stood up; she walked to the desk, both of them now leaning in like magnets drawn towards each other.

"I think we need to look at this rationally. I think we need to maintain a professional distance and then once these two weeks are over, you pass the requirements, you have two weeks more with the volunteer program with the shelter, and then maybe, probably, I would consider maybe going on a date with you or something. But it's probably still not the best idea from a legal standpoint. While you are not my client, I am under a court directive, so you need to behave impeccably between now and then."

"So if I asked you out in a month's time, you would probably say yes?"

"I would need to defer that decision. To be perfectly honest, I don't think I can come in here every day with you and do this debriefing. The electricity or whatever it is between us is quite disturbing, in a nice kind of way, but probably won't help my resolve. "

"Yes, I agree. This room is at fault and is very, very naughty. It should be punished for promoting charged neutrons or electrons or whatever the hell it is that makes electricity between two people. Bad, bad room."

She smirked once again. Her mind had immediately gone to the gutter. There should be some punishment occurring in this room, but now was not the time. She would like to spank that amazing ass of his. She was certain it would look even better out of his jeans than in it.

She must have looked like she was thinking something dirty, because he was staring at her with thinly veiled amusement.

"I would say penny for your thoughts, but since I can't touch you after your answer, I don't want to know."

"Is this being recorded?" Suddenly her legal mind came back into the mix. He could be recording the conversation with her and use it for blackmail if she didn't pass him during the next month for the courts.

"No, I am not bloody recording this! I know I am an ass, but in this case I was just trying to be an ordinary bloke, having a conversation with a bird he fancies. I laid it out in the beginning of this conversation that you had to stop me if I got out of line." He straightened himself up; pulling away from the intimate little magnetic field they had created.

"I apologize. I was just trying to figure out if you were trying to play me or something. I don't get hit on very often."

His face softened. "You don't get hit on very often? I find that really very surprising Miss Swan. I find you quite remarkable, and…" his voice trailed off. He bit his lower lip and gave a crooked half smile.

"Dear Lord, do you know how alarmingly sexy that is? You bite your lip, and then when you smile your eyes crinkle up. It's astonishingly sexy." He had returned to the magnetic field, his face a mere few inches from hers.

"Wow, your brain to mouth filter just turns off around me doesn't it?"

"Yes, it does. So much for my stupid law degree and women's lib and all that. You disarm the synapses in my brain. You can't possibly be good for me."

"What if I'm the bad guy? Although I would try to be very, very good to you, Miss Swan."

Her finger tips splayed on the desk as she leaned into him were the only thing preventing her from capturing his mouth with hers at this point in time.

"This is truly demented you know."

He nodded at her.

"We could both be in big trouble."

He nodded again, as he looked down at her mouth.

"Professionally, I would be fucked."

He exhaled sharply at her statement. She swallowed, licking her bottom lip and trying to maintain eye contact so she wouldn't look at his mouth and be tempted.

"I plead the fifth on that statement Miss Swan. The things I could say to you right now…"

"I really want to kiss you right now." She could feel the heat rising in her face and in other parts of her body.

"I think that would be a really bad idea that I really shouldn't think about right now. Maybe you should just do it."

"What I'd really like to do is take that pouty little lower lip of yours and lick it, just like you did before. Then I want to take it in my mouth gently suck on it." Oh my goodness, did her lady parts just jump up and down with glee?

Bella leaned in a little closer. "And I really want you to do that…as long as my soft little tongue gets to play with yours before I slowly take it out of your mouth and lick your upper lip…" Edward's eyes blazed.

"The direct result would be me reaching across the table, Miss Swan, to fist those beautiful curls of yours, bringing you closer to me, my tongue parting your lips... And I would do more than just touch your tongue to mine - I would caress the inside of your mouth, my lips never leaving yours, and you wouldn't be able to breathe."

"I'm finding myself barely able to breathe right now, as well," drawled a voice from somewhere in the background. Jasper had walked in on them and he didn't look happy.

~~OtA~~

I had to retype this because my computer crapped itself. It was much sexier the second time. Should there be humping in Vegas or are you opposed? Reviewers get teasers, when I get my butt around to. FicObsessed is my lovely Beta, and the lovely Elaine67 is my Pre-reader, thanks for their honesty at all times.