The Heroes Parody Project
Season 5
Chapter 3
Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright its creator, Tim Kring, and NBC. I do not own anything, know or represent any of the cast or crew. This fan fiction is written purely for entertainment purposes only so please don't sue.
Audience: WHEEL! OF! FORTUNE!
The audience claps as Matt Sajak walks out…
Matt: Hello, America! Welcome to….(puts his hand to his ear).
Audience: WE! ALREDY! SAID IT!
Matt: Hmph. Anyway, meet my lovely assistant and professional letter turner, Niki White…wow, that's REALLY stretching it.
Niki walks out wearing a glimmering sliver dress that's a little too long for her. She trips over it and stumbles.
Niki: OOF!
She dusts herself off and looks at the board.
Niki: Uh…Matt, what's up with these letters?! They don't turn.
Matt: It's the future, Niki! All you have to do is press a button to turn on the letter.
Niki: I'm not seeing any buttons.
Matt: Because it's a future, Niki! You have to press your palm firmly on the screen for 10 seconds followed by a retinal scan.
Niki: That's going to take forever!
Matt: Let's meet our contestants.
Matt walks over to Claire, Sylar, and Sandra Bennet.
Matt: Our first contestant is Claire; the head of her own Cheerleading School...Oh come on! You couldn't have come up with anything more original?!
Claire: It's a real thing, Matt!
Matt: Next we have Sylar, who is the Dean of Admissions at a "Scalp Reassignment Clinic"?
Sylar: Yup.
Claire throws a side eye at Sylar.
Sylar: What? It's not as stupid as yours!
Matt: Then we have Sandra, who is the mother of one…
Claire: Uh…
Sandra (holding up Muggles): Yes she is! She's the most precious child and I'm the luckiest mother in the entire world!
Claire: HELLO! Over Here! Chopped Liver!
Sylar: What about Lyle?
Claire: Oh, nobody cares about him. Can we just start this thing already?
Matt: Okay, Sandra, since you won the three sided coin toss here is the first puzzle.
FAMOUS AUTHOR STEPHEN KING appears on the board.
Claire: Uh….aren't we…not supposed to see that?
Sylar: Yeah…I thought we were supposed to guess the letters. Maybe I misunderstood the rules.
Niki: Works for me, I don't have to do squat!
She gathers up wads of her dress and waddles away.
Niki: I swear this thing is getting longer or I'm shrinking.
Matt: Oh, I guess it's anybody's guess than.
Claire: IT'S FAMOUS AUTHOR STEPHEN KING!
Sylar: FAMOUS AUTHOR STEPHEN KING!
Sandra: WHAT IS STEPHEN KING!?
Matt: That works. But since nobody spun the wheel, nobody gets any money.
Claire and Sylar hastily grab the wheel and they both spin it at the same time. It starts to spin faster and faster.
Claire: Uggh, I'm getting dizzy.
The wheel spins so fast it detaches from the board and flies into the studio audience.
Audience: RUN! FOR! YOUR LIVES! AHHHHHHH!
Technical Difficulties, please stand by.
Matt: We're back! And so is the studio audience, freshly recovered from money wheel related injuries.
Audience: YOU'LL! HEAR FROM! OUR LAWYERS!
Matt: That's nice, Round 2!
XXXX XXXXXX XXX XXXXX
Sylar buzzes in.
Sylar: I'd like to solve the puzzle!
Matt: HEY! There are no buzzers in Wheel Of Fortune! Someone chop off his hands!
Sylar: Okay, okay…I'll spin!
Sylar spins the wheel…BANKRUPT!
Sylar: Lame!
Matt: Sandra?
Sandra: Oh, I can't spin, Matt. I have to hold my Muggles.
Matt: That's okay, Claire can spin for you.
Claire: That doesn't sound right.
Claire spins the wheel, it lands on…
Matt: A trip to FIJI!
Sandra: Hooray!
Claire: That should have been mine, dammit!
Matt: You won a beautiful trip to FIJI, where the air is clean, the water is clean, the rooms are clean, everything is clean except for the dry cleaning. You and your family including one dog minus one spouse and two children get to go on a 7 night stay for the retail price of $25,000!
Sandra: YAY!
Claire: What a rip off!
Claire spins for her turn.
Claire: I'd like to solve the puzzle!
Matt: Um…okay.
Claire: "Will Travel For Money!"
Matt: No….for you see the clue is…."Action Star".
Claire: Well, you could have told us that first!
Matt: Sylar!
Spin….BANKRUPT!
Sylar: Oh, come on!
Sandra spins.
Sandra: I'm going to let Muggles guess for me.
Muggles: WOOF!
Matt: Allright, we got two N's on the board.
Claire and Sylar: WHAT!?
Niki is slamming the board with her fist.
Niki: This stupid thing isn't working! (BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!)
Claire: I'd like to solve the puzzle!..."Pawn Things, Win Money!"
Matt: So close…..(looks at the card)….oh, no you weren't close at all. I'm afraid you'll have to be punished.
A red Whammy monster does a little dance, then 10 gallons of Marshmallow fluff pours on Claire's head.
Claire: ACK!
Sylar: I'd like to solve the damn puzzle!
Matt: You people realize the only one who has guessed a letter so far was the dog, right?
Sylar: Fine, M!
Matt: Two M's. Sandra!
Sylar: Don't I get another turn?
Matt: No, we're running short on time. Spin, Sandra!
Sylar: Well, at least I have SOME money in the bank.
Sandra spins the wheel and lands on a "Sylar Bankrupts" wedge.
Sylar: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!
Matt: Oh, too bad!
Claire buzzes.
Claire: I know what the answer is!
Matt: What did I tell you people about buzzers?! Claire, those are the rules. You'll have to lose your hands for using a buzzer on Wheel Of Fortune!
An intern guides Claire to a back room.
Claire: Ah, nuts!
Technical Difficulties, please stand by.
Matt: And we're back! How was having your hands chopped off, Claire?!
Claire: You're lucky I could grow those back!
Matt: Well, I just wanted to tell you that Jean Claude Van Damme was the correct answer! You're going to the bonus round!
Claire: Leapin Lizards!
Sylar: HEY! She didn't guess Jean Claude Van Damme! I was going to now that I know what the freaking answer is!
Matt: According to the board she did. Niki?
Niki is writhing around on the ground drowning in her dress.
Niki: What the hell is this thing made of?! Someone get help!
Matt: Let's start that bonus round!
Claire walks over.
Matt: Okay, Claire….this is it. All or nothing. If you miss this puzzle….those pretty little hands are coming off!
Claire: What is with the hand chopping!?
XXXXXXXXXX XX XXXXXX
Matt: The clue is "Famous Landmark". 10 seconds.
Claire: Don't I get R, S, T, L and E?
Matt: Only in the American Version.
Claire: What the hell Version is this!?
Matt: 5 seconds.
Claire: Can't I buy a vowel….or a consonant…or the answer?!
Matt: It'll cost you…5 hands.
Claire: Oh brother. Eiffel Tower! Who cares! I'm never going to get it.
Matt: Oh wow, that was a really stupid guess, Claire. Let's show her the answer.
PREVIOUSLY ON HEROES…
Claire: …Wow.
Matt: Well, didn't we have fun, folks?
Claire: I hate Wheel Of Fortune!
Matt: Good Night!
The lights turn off on everybody. Matt leaves, grabbing the giant wad of Niki's dress to drag on his way out.
Niki: Thank you!
Claire: I guess I'll find my own way out of here. Thanks for shutting us in the dark.
Claire stumbles around and picks up a buzzer. BUZZ! An intern comes out to escort her in the back room.
Claire: Ah, nuts.
Previously on Heroes…
Genesis Redux fails; Peter resets the world to a brand new state.
Peter: I'm an ambulance driver!
Noah: I'm taking the family on a Duck Dynasty Vacation!
Claire: I'm jumping out the window!
Elsewhere…
Angela meets Bob Bishop and Kaito Nakamura for Crunch (Coffee and Brunch, it's the latest craze).
Angela: I dreamt of the future. It's sort of my thing. I sense bad things.
Bob: I'm in. I have nothing better to do until 4.
Kaito: I'm out. I have to go make an unexpected visit to…
Claire: Hiro Nakamura!?
Claire shows up to her Job Interview.
Hiro: I'm opening my new school for gifted youngsters. You, Cheerleader, are going to be the school nurse. So let's get with the schooling!
Claire: Yeah, that's not going to work out.
Hiro: Looks like we'll need the aid of….
Claire: Mohinder Suresh!?
Mohinder, under the ruse he is about to get research for something not important, gets kidnapped by Lydia and Edgar from…
Claire: Samuel Sullivan's Carnival!?
Samuel Sullivan, in prison at Level 5 at the 14th iteration of The Company. A mysterious man breaks him out. Elle swears to find him.
Elle: When I find you….I'm going to find you. And when I do find you, I'm going to kill you.
Baskin Robbins Employee: Jeez, lady! If you wanted more toppings on your Sundae, all you have to do is ask!
Elle (dramatic pose): That's not how I operate! (Pointing) Make it happen at once!
Baskin Robbins Employee: Okay, but additional toppings are an extra 35 cents.
Elle: IT'S TIME TO DIE!
Baskin Robbins Employee: EEEEK!
Meanwhile…
Niki and D.L get a visit from….
Claire: Old Man Mayberry!...Sorry, I have no idea what's going on in this side plot. I haven't been paying attention.
Niki: Tracy has inherited the body of our now dead estranged sister, Barbara! And she's going to kill us all!
Mohinder (putting on Velma Glasses): Jinkies! What an extraordinary mystery!
Matt (dressed as Scooby Doo): ROINKS!
Matt jumps into Claire's arms.
Claire: ACK!
CRAAASHH!
Claire: Matt…you're crushing my windpipe. Wheeze!
Matt: And I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling kids.
Claire: Seriously…can't breathe. Wheeze!
Niki: To the high school!
They set off to go visit Micah and Molly at their High School Graduation Rehearsals. Not too far along the road, a mysterious man and woman appear out of nowhere.
Woman: We have to find Micah here. Do you think he'll help us?
Man: He'll have to. We're family after all.
An ambulance whizzes by.
Peter: Don't worry; we'll get you to the hospital!
Nathan: I'm….suing….the…show.
Peter: Save your strength, brother. You'll need it for when we stretch out your final moments over the rest of the season.
Nathan: Ugh…
Hiro: Currently On Heroes!
30 Minutes Ago.
Tracy wakes up at her desk.
Tracy: Did…was that a dream?
Tracy looks at herself in the mirror and fixes her hair. She gets a page from Nathan. She checks the mirror again and smirks.
Barbara: I think I can use the rest of the day off.
Tracy (in the mirror): Wait, come back! I still have lipstick on my teeth!
Barbara gets up and makes a cup of coffee; she walks into Nathan's office.
Nathan: Thank you, Miss Strauss.
Barbara: Please, call me Barbara.
Nathan: That's an interesting way to say "Tracy". But whatever. Do you have my coffee?
Barbara: Yes, one Triple Tall Mocha Frappe Trenta Venti Caramel Macchiato Half Caff Quarter Whip Cream with just a touch of poison…
Nathan: Ew…Caramel?...Well, okay. I'll try it.
Nathan drinks the coffee and collapses.
Barbara (leaning down to him): I'm terribly sorry I had to do this…Nathan? Was it?...If you survive this I hope you'll make it to the party. Goodbye.
She kisses him on the forehead and leaves the building.
Nathan: I….don't…..like…caramel…..urk….
Present
Peter Petrelli
In an ambulance
WOO! WOO! WOO! WOO! WOO! (Ambulance sounds provided by The Arsenio Hall Show Studio Audience)
Peter: Nathan?...Nate?...Bro?...SPEAK TO ME NATHAN!
Nathan: I can HEAR you! Stop shouting into my ear drum!
Peter: You were poisoned, Nate. Don't worry. We'll get you to one of the best hospitals in the city.
Nathan: Um….why aren't we moving?
Peter: Because we stopped at Jack In The Box and got stuck in the drive thru tunnel. But that's no reason not to worry about dying from all the poison you were poisoned with.
Nathan: You stopped to get yourself something to eat while I was dying!?
Peter: You're right; I should have gotten you something. I'm really selfish when it comes to food…..MINE!
He slaps Nathan's hand.
Nathan: OW! I wasn't holding anything!
Peter: See, I have a problem.
West (at the wheel) stomps on the gas, the tires spin while the ambulance remains stuck.
Daphne: We're not getting anywhere.
West: I know that! Get out and push.
Daphne: Some gentleman you are!
West: You're super fast! You can move us out of here.
Daphne: I have super speed…not super strength. If I get out and push I'll just get us nowhere….but faster.
Clerk: Sir, are you going to pay for your food?
West: Of course not!
Micah Sanders
At The High School Auditorium
Jeepers Glee-pers!
Coordinator (clapping): Okay, everyone! It's time to rehearse! Are you all in uniform?
The students, in their Graduation gowns, round up in the middle of the stage.
Coordinator: And let's give this one a go….aaaand action!
All the students throw their caps into the air, they slowly fly past:
Chapter Three "12welve"
Niki, D.L and Matt are making their way down the hallway of the school.
Niki: Ugh! All these rooms and corridors look the same!
D.L sticks his head through one of the classroom doors.
Niki: Uh…could you NOT do that?
D.L: What?
Matt: Hey! It's my old locker!
Niki: You used to go to this school?
Matt: Yeah, I wonder if I still remember the old combo.
Niki: Matt, that was a billion years ago. That's someone else's locker.
Matt (working the lock): 14 to the left…..45 to the right….24 to the left…..got it.
Matt opens the door.
Matt: AHHHHHHHHHH!
Niki: WHAT!? Why are you screaming?
Matt: I left my pet hamster "Mighty Mouse" in my locker and forgot about him! Oh no!
Matt sobs while holding his hands away from his body.
Matt: I don't want to look. Niki, you better keep away too so you don't have to see the horror of it all.
Niki: If you don't want me to see it then WHY ARE YOU SHOVING MY HEAD IN YOUR LOCKER?!
Matt: It's just too tragic! Poor Mighty Mouse.
Niki: Ugh…it stinks in there…bleh….why would you name your hamster Mighty Mouse anyway?
Matt: Because…they're pretty much the same animal…and Mighty Hamster just sounds stupid, Niki.
Niki: I guess I walked right into that one. (eye roll)
She looks around.
Niki: Hey, where did Claire and Hiro go?
Claire and Hiro
The Principal's Office
It's all right cause I'm Saved By The Bell
Claire: What are we doing in here?
Hiro: School supplies.
Claire: For what?
Hiro: My school! Did you completely forget our subplot?
Claire: Yes….hold on…I can do this. We are trying to get Mohinder to help you cheat us into being professional enough for you to open up your school or whatever. Mohinder's been kidnapped and we need to track him do…oh my gosh! I know where he is!
Hiro: That's nice. We need books and school supplies to get us started so I'm borrowing some from our Educational Brethren.
Claire: I can't believe I forgot! I have to warn the others…..wait…You're stealing school supplies now?!
Hiro: Borrowing from our Education Brethren! There's a difference!
Claire: Rob a freaking bank! You don't want to go down in history as the guy who robbed a school for SUPPLIES! You'll be labeled a total dweeb!
Hiro: I am NOT a dweeb! This is for our future…and the future of our students.
Claire: What about the future of the students you're stealing supplies from?
Hiro: Borrowing! Listen, all of us….you know….establishments for higher learning…
Claire: At least the actual accredited ones…
Hiro: We all have the same mission statement. To Teach, Is To Learn, To Learn, Is To Teach….
Claire: If I turn around and that's on some motivational poster I'm going to deck you.
Hiro: Let's just keep going….you can just keep walking backwards…
Claire turns around and sees an enormous motivational poster.
Claire: UGH! I KNEW IT!
A door opens…to…
Hiro: Look at it Claire…look at all the learning.
A white light shines.
Hiro (singing): Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…
Claire: What are you doing? What is that?
Hiro: Those are angels singing. I shouldn't have to explain it.
Claire: You do if you sound like a Doctor that is checking your throat with a tongue depressor on you.
Hiro: Like you could do better.
Claire: I'm not getting into a singing competition with you….that didn't work out so well the last time I got stuck in one of those.
-Flashback-
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, we here at Nashville's Grand Ol' Opry gives you a rootin tootin welcome to our main attraction. Country's number one singing sensation Miss Claira May Bennett.
Claire walks out on stage. The audience cheers.
Claire: Hi, yall! Mmmm Fame Shower! Fame Shower! Fame Shower! I LOVE IT!
Announcer: And her opening act….
Claire: WHAT?! How do I have an opening act; I'm already on the stage!
Announcer: Country's number one singing sensation…
Claire: But I'M Country's number one singing sensation. You can't have TWO number ones!
Announcer: Miss Angie Odessa May Mama June Hey Diddle Diddle The Cat And The Fiddle I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Petrelli!
Claire: GUH!
Angela walks out on stage, twirling an umbrella.
Claire: What in all hot messes is this?!
Claire grabs the mic.
Claire (singing): I'm a little bit country….
Angela grabs the mic.
Angela: I am also that of a little bit of the country.
Claire: You're not even singing! BOOO!
Angela: Fiddle Dee Dee, I've made some Iced Tea. (Holds up a tray)
The audience cheers.
Claire: Did I suffer a recent blow to the head or something?!
Angela: Angie Odessa May Mama June has noticed you cannot carry a tune, my dear!
Claire: Stop with the rhymes Dr. Suess, or else I'm gonna cook your goose! Oh, CRAP! Now I'm doing it!
Angela: I have a song for all your ails…
Claire: This damn flashback has gone off the rails!
Angela: You're done; the Queen Of Country is back on top!
Claire: For the love of all holy, just please make it stop!
Angela bows as roses get thrown to her from the audience.
Claire: THAT'S IT! I challenge you to a Country Duel.
The audience gasps.
Angela: Claire, we can settle this like adults. Let's just do a duet. (Whispering) I don't know many country songs though, I can probably make it halfway through Achey Brakey Heart but then you'll have to spot me.
Claire: THAT'S your go to Country Song?! Oh this duel is ON!
Announcer: Okay ladies…
Claire and Angela are standing back to back holding acoustic guitars.
Announcer: The point of the Country Duel is to take 5 paces then battle it out on the guitar. And….LET THE DUEL BEGIN!
Claire and Angela take a step.
ONE!
Angela swings around and destroys her guitar over Claire's head.
CLAAANG!
Announcer: I mean….well….play the guitar.
Angela: Oh.
She picks up her umbrella.
Angela: Fiddle dee dee!
The audience cheers.
Claire: Now I hate Country Music AND Wheel Of Fortune…
-End Flashback-
Hiro: Sorry to interrupt.
Claire: Sadly that was the end of the story.
Hiro: Great! I needed you to stop reminiscing anyway and start hoarding these books under your shirt.
Claire: What?!
Niki flings open a set of doors.
Niki: FOUND IT!
Her, D.L and Matt run in. Micah notices them and walks over.
Micah: Mom? Dad?...What are you guys doing here? You didn't have to come to rehearsal.
Niki: We actually came here to see Molly. Tracy is in trouble.
D.L clears his throat.
Niki (deadpan): Oh, Mohinder's in trouble too.
Micah: Yeah, let me run in the back and get her.
Suddenly, a Drama Teacher runs in, panicked.
Drama Teacher: Somebody help! Two of the leads for my production called in sick, and the show starts in an hour!
Matt: I'm your man!
Drama Teacher: What? You're far too old to play the lead!
Niki: What's the play?
Drama Teacher: Grease.
Matt: In all fairness, that movie was filled with high school students in their 20's and 30's.
Drama Teacher: That's true. How old are you?
Matt: Just turned 26, my good sir.
Niki: NO YOU DIDN'T!
Drama Teacher: Whatever! You'll do fine.
Niki: There is no way you can play the lead in Grease.
Matt: I smell a challenge. I volunteer her as opposite lead.
Drama Teacher: What has she done?
Matt: This woman is a Thespian of the Exotic Arts!
Niki: A what?
Matt: She played the lead role in Martin Scorsese's "Internet Stripper". A role which garnered her 20 Golden Raspberry Awards.
Drama Teacher: I don't think that's a real movie.
Niki: And Golden Raspberry awards are BAD, you doof!
Drama Teacher: I'm out of time! You'll have to do anyway. Come on!
He grabs Niki's arm and runs off, Matt runs after.
D.L (yelling to Niki): Have fun! I'll try to catch the show if I can.
He turns to Micah.
D.L: I'm probably not going to catch it. Sounds like it'll be a disaster. Anyway, I guess I'll lead the investigation, then. Let's find Molly.
D.L and Micah head to the back….over sitting in the audience is the mysterious man and woman.
HEROES
Sylar and Ted
The Company
Workin' 9 to 5, what a way to make a livin'
Ted: We're supposed to be here at 9?! Oh man, I'm so fired.
Ted and Sylar walk into the Situation Room.
Sylar: The what?!
They see Elle at the Main Computer.
Elle: Good, you two finally made it into work.
Ted: Nobody told me what our working hours were!
Elle: We've had no luck tracking down Samson, but we'll get him.
Sylar: Um…..you're tracking my dad?
Elle: Hmm? Oh, did I say Samson? I meant Samuel….ha ha….I'm always getting those two mixed up.
She picks up the phone.
Elle: Yes, Patricia. Its SAMUEL…not Samson….yes, please relay that to the firing squad. Thank you.
Sylar: Where did this cheap looking computer come from?
Elle: Cheap?! I think not. The people who make equipment for CSI loaned this to us for a very modest price. Oh, just for the record, none of us are getting paid for a very long time.
Sylar: WHAT?!
Ted: So, how does it work?
Elle: We'll start with the evidence. Tire Tracks.
Sylar: Tire Tracks?
Elle: We have video surveillance catching Samuel walking out of the building and into a car. Someone picked him up and left tire tracks when they sped away.
Sylar: How are you going to track him with the tire tracks?
Elle: Just let science do the work.
Sylar: You're starting to sound like Suresh.
Elle: Good thing I bought these "Smarty Girl" smart glasses.
She puts them on.
Elle: AHH! They're prescription lenses! My eyes! I can't see!
Sylar: Then take them off!
Elle: I can't! They're too cute!
Sylar: Give me those!
Elle: Get your own!
Elle runs away, flailing her arms in front of her.
Later,
Elle: Now that I've had laser corrected eye surgery and fixed my eyesight. That Dr. Santiago is a miracle worker!
Sylar: Like THAT didn't take forever.
Elle: And just for the record, we're not getting paid for a VERY long time….Anyway, I'm going to track down our fiend.
Elle types into the computer, a picture of the tire tracks appear on the screen.
The tire tracks pull up the tire it came from.
Sylar: Uh…
The tire gets matched to the car it belonged to. The make and model of the car is shown.
Sylar: That's impossible!
The owner of the car gets pulled up. The owner's blood type, social security number, age, weight, eye and hair color, likes, dislikes, criminal history, Twitter feed and life goals pops up.
Sylar: Come on now….
Car was reported stolen.
The screen pulls up the thief's blood type, social security number, age, weight….
Sylar puts his head in his hands.
The car gets stolen again. It arrives at the company, picks up Samuel, and drives off.
Elle: Billions of dollars at work, boys.
Ted: It blinded me with science, that's for sure.
Sylar: That didn't tell us anything!
Elle: How do you figure?
Sylar: Aside that I'm still baffled how in the world you got all that information from a tire mark.
Elle: Technology is neat!
Sylar: The end result was that some guy stole a car and picked up Samuel. We already knew this.
Elle: But we have all his information.
Sylar: No, we have the owner's information and the thief's information.
Elle: Exactly.
Sylar: We don't have the second thief's information. The car was stolen twice, and the second thief was the one that picked up Samuel.
Elle picks up a printed report.
Elle: Oh….yes….there was a second thief…and….we don't know who that is….or where he went.
Sylar: Exactly.
Elle: …THIS THING'S A PIECE!
Sylar (throws his hands up): Thank you.
Elle: Seriously, how they managed to solve 13 seasons worth of crimes and murders with this thing is beyond me.
Meanwhile, Nathan's eyes were closed. He slowly opens to to find…
Peter: ….Hello!
Nathan: AHHHHH!
Peter: Nathan, now that you aren't dead I wanted to tell you that you almost died.
Nathan: I know!
Peter: But the good news is we managed to actually get you to the hospital.
Nathan: That's nice.
Peter: Our next move is to find out who….WHO would do this to you.
Nathan: I'm a very…VERY…important person in the public eye. A lot of people want to have me hurt…..but it was Tracy.
Peter: Hmm?
Nathan: I was poisoned by the cup of coffee handed to me by my secretary, Tracy. I don't know why she did it….must be the whole lack of raises...bonuses…paychecks thing.
Peter: No, I think something else is afoot. And if something's afoot….
Later,
Daphne: Oh, you were actually serious about that "Private Detectives" thing.
Peter: I'm always serious about every decision I make. But now we have to put that aside to solve my brother's murder. His death will be avenged!
Nathan: Again, Still here!
Peter: So put on your deer stalker caps…
West: It's cutting off my circulation.
Peter: And your corn cob pipe…
Daphne: You know it's called that because it's made out of corn cob, you just stuffed this pipe with creamed style corn….seriously, what am I supposed to do with this?
Peter: And let's get to the bottom of this mystery!
Back at the school, D.L and Micah are with Molly.
Molly has her eyes closed.
Molly: Mohinder is….at the carnival?
D.L: The carnival?
Claire: I have something to say about that!
D.L and the others turn to find Hiro and Claire (whose shirt if stuffed with books and supplies).
D.L: Where are you two been?
Hiro: Securing futures.
Claire rolls her eyes.
Micah: Claire…are you alright?…you look….um…I don't know how to describe it. Pointy?
Claire: Oh…It's that time of season, my skin breaks out and…wait, why am I lying? We're stealing all of your school's books.
Hiro: Borrowing!
Micah: I'm leaving so I guess I don't care.
Claire: I completely forgot that before Genesis Redux went kaput, my biological mother Meredith and her brother Flint kidnapped me and Mohinder. We only just made it to the carnival before the reset. He must still be planning something. And another thing…
She turns to Hiro.
Claire: Why am I carrying all your crap?! Why aren't you hoarding any books?
Hiro: I just got this shirt; I don't want to stretch it out.
Claire: Shirts don't work like that.
All the books and supplies falls out of Claire, the bottom of her shirt goes to her knees, forming a dress.
Claire: AHHHH!
Hiro: See? I told you it would stretch.
Meanwhile, backstage.
Matt (putting on his makeup): Can you believe it, Niki! Us! Movie Stars!
Niki: I highly doubt that us filling in for the lead roles of a High School production of Grease qualifies us to be movie stars.
Matt: No, but that's how it starts. Think about it. George Clooney, Angelina Jolie. They all started their extinguished film careers thanks to High School plays.
Niki: I think the word you're looking for is 'distinguished'. And what makes you think that?
Matt: I read it on Wikipedia…or at least that's what I wrote when I edited their entries.
Niki: Hmm.
Matt: Well…(checking himself out) I look awesome. Just need to do my hair.
Niki: Wow, I really like this dress. I may have to steal it.
Matt opens a drum of oil.
Niki: What in the world is that!?
Matt: Niki, I'm supposed to be cool. And all the cool guys have their hair slicked in oil to preserve one's "coolness".
Matt leans over and dunks his head into the oil drum. He jolts his head back, flinging oil on Niki.
Niki: AAACK! Dammit, Matt! You got oil all over my dress!
Matt: Just get another one.
Niki: But I liked this one. HMPH!
Niki comes back out in a new dress.
Niki: Well, it's not as nice as the last one but…but I'll steal it anyway.
Matt: Niki, help! I put my leather jacket on upside down.
Niki: I'm not surprised.
She turns Matt around, trying to squeeze the jacket on him.
Niki: That jacket's a little small for you.
Matt: It's called being cool, Niki. Sheesh!
He walks away, Niki find more oil on her dress.
Niki: What!? How did THAT happen!?
Matt: I dunked my jacket in the oil to give it a darker, cooler look.
Niki: Idiot!
Mohinder Suresh
Samuel Sullivan's Carnival
Come for the food, stay for the rides, and then leave (or at least your food will if you stay for the rides).
Edgar, Lydia and Mohinder walk up to Samuel.
Edgar: Welcome back.
Samuel: It is good to be back. I see you brought me the good Doctor.
Mohinder: Yes, and it seems that I couldn't have come soon enough. I'll be setting up my shop over here.
Samuel looks confused as Mohinder makes his way over to an empty stand. He sets up a sign that reads "Mohinder's Extraordinary Advice" spray painted on a board.
Samuel: Um…..(he points, looking at Edgar).
Edgar: You can blame Lydia for that. My poor car reeks of spray paint…..where did he even get those?
Lydia: That's a good question.
Samuel: So, Mr. Suresh, let's talk.
He starts to walk away but turns back to Lydia and Edgar.
Samuel: Stay here, I'll be back shortly to tell you to go after the girl. Don't leave until I give you your orders.
Edgar: But…but…you just gave us our orders! Why can't we leave now?
Lydia: He likes to keep people guessing….I guess.
Edgar: Hmm..
Samuel: Mohinder! I'd like to introduce you to one of my friends.
A mysterious man walks up.
Samuel: This here is the man who helped me break from my evil clutches. This is…..this is…..(turns to him)….who are you exactly?
The man hands him a card. Samuel reads it.
Samuel: This is my friend, famous author Stephen Kring…wait...Ste….Your name is Steven Kring?!
The man nods.
Samuel: How this show doesn't get sued every 5 seconds just astounds me. Come walk with me, Dr. Suresh.
Mohinder: Okay, but I need to get back soon so I can tend to my Cotton Candy machine.
They start to walk away as Samuel spots the man running his own Cotton Candy Machine, who throws his arms up in the air.
Samuel: Uh…So, Dr. Suresh! (He turns his attention back on him). As I mentioned previously there was a certain reason why I had you kidnaa…err…uh…brought here.
Mohinder: I'm hearing…but not completely listening. Once you mention a particular topic that tickles my brain's fancy…it will allow it.
Samuel: Yeah, whatever. Anyway, this Carnival has an amazing legacy. I'm trying to rebuild it, and make it better than ever before. Having you and Claire Bennet inducted into our little family….
Mohinder: Now that you mention it…I do vaguely remember being kidnapped and brought to this place.
Samuel: Probably just a dream. The point is, we're trying to save you from your former lives. Claire has an amazing ability, as do you…
Mohinder: Oh, no…I have no abilities, my good man. Except for that one time…
(Flashback)
Mohinder is webbed up against the wall.
Mohinder: Hello!...Hello!...Is anybody there!? Oh, now this just won't do…..MATT!...MAAATT!
He looks over to see Matt, dressed as Spider Man.
Mohinder: Uh…
Matt: Mohinder! There you are. I appear to have webbed myself against the wall.
Mohinder: Well, that's just great! I appear to have done the same!
Matt: Well, that wasn't very smart of you.
Mohinder: Wait, you can't judge me! So are you!
Matt: But I'm expected to do this.
Mohinder: Ugh, you're right. Now I feel even worse. Well, we can't stay up here forever. NIKI!
Matt: NIKI! HELP!
Niki: Yeah, I'm here too.
Mohinder and Matt see Niki webbed up on the wall as well.
Mohinder: How did you get webbed up against the wall!?
Niki: Ask Spider dork over there. I was in the middle of putting on my makeup…
Matt: And you were only half way finished….it's not my fault I mistook you for Harvey Dent…AKA Two Face!
Niki: …AKA THAT'S FROM BATMAN, STUPID!
Matt: …AKA THEY'RE ALL IN THE SAME UNIVERSE, NIKI!
Niki: ….AKA ACTUALLY, THEY'RE NOT, MATT!
Mohinder: …Aka, I'm going to die up here.
Peter: It's okay, Mohinder! With the help of this ice and peanut butter, we'll be out of here in no time.
Mohinder: How did YOU get stuck!? You don't even live here!
Peter: I don't?!
Matt: My Spidey Senses are tingling.
Niki: My Stupid senses are tingling.
Mohinder (to Peter): You really think that's going to help?
Peter: Sure, gets gum out of hair. See? (Spits a wad of gum over to Claire, also webbed on the wall).
Claire: PETER! Stop spitting gum in my hair!
Niki: Is the entire freaking cast stuck on this stupid wall?!
Maya Hernandez (stuck on the wall): Alejandro! I'm trapped! I fear the worst!
Niki: Oh, come on! They're not even in this season!
Alejandro: Maya! You have to calm down!
Maya: I can't! It's already started! WAAAAH! (Black goop starts dripping from her eyes, as it does with everyone else).
Claire (goop): AHHH!
Mohinder (goop): Oh dear!
Niki (goop): ACK! This sucks!
Matt (goop): Black gold! Texas Tea….Bubblin' Crude!
Niki: You're not helping! Ugh…this is making my makeup run.
Matt (looking at Niki): AHH! IT'S HARVEY DENT! Get her, Spider-Dog!
Spider-Dog: WOOF!
Niki: The Marvel Community is going to rip you to shreds.
-Present-
Mohinder: And I'll stop the story there since that flashback goes on for another hour and the cast of Burn Notice gets involved, don't ask me how.
Samuel (waking up): Hmm?! Oh, right, good story. Let's continue talking.
Back at the school.
D.L: Okay, so now that we have a lead on Mohinder, let's go get Matt and Niki and get out of here.
The mysterious woman walks up and confronts Micah.
Woman: Excuse me, Micah?
Micah: Yes?
Woman: Hi, I'm from wardrobe. We need to bring you back in for additional fittings for your Graduation Attire.
Micah: Oh…um….okay. Dad, I'll catch up with you guys later.
Molly: Why aren't I getting a wardrobe check? The entire back half of mine is ripped; it looks like I'm wearing a Snuggie!
D.L: Got it. Okay, let's head….Where's Claire and Hiro?
Claire and Hiro are running out of the school.
Claire (with the books in her shirt again): Why are we running! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Hiro: I just got a call from the Principal! He knows we stole..err…borrowed the books! The jig is up! Oh! I just knew if I hung out with you long enough I'll turn to a life of crime!
Claire: WHAAT!? This was your idea! You're the one that tricked me into getting a job and getting away from my stupid family! If there's anyone to blame, it's you!
Hiro: Just keep running! I'm too pretty to go to jail!
Claire: And I'm not!?
Hiro: Claire, don't be so hard on yourself, you're a very pretty girl.
Claire: That's not what I meant! Ugh, I'm going to beat you with….(pulls a book out)…..Trigonometry 7…..Trigonometry 7?! Wow, kids have it rough nowadays…..I say that loosely, only having just graduated…like…10 minutes ago. Are you buying that?
Hiro: We have to keep running!
Claire: You know, surely we haven't blown through the powers budget yet this season, just teleport us out of here!
Hiro: First off, I can't teleport when I'm nervous.
Claire: Of course you can't!
Hiro: Second, you weigh a LOT.
Claire: HEY!
Hiro: I meant because of the books!
Claire: Oh…..okay…um…..silly question….How about we get rid of the books?
Hiro: Claire! Get a hold of yourself!
Claire slaps herself in the face.
Claire: OW! Why did I just do that!? Ohhh…that hurt….
Hiro: Despite us being on the verge of being booked in the big house for life…
Claire: Heh….Hiro, I highly doubt that this little theft is counts for a life sentence.
Hiro: We must do this….for the students.
Claire: You don't have any students, genius.
Hiro: Not yet…..but a little recruiting at some of the nearby schools might just change that.
Claire: You're stealing STUDENTS now?!
Hiro: It's stealing! I mean…borrowing!...or….whatever. We can discuss this later! We have to…
Hiro teleports.
Claire: AAAAHHHH! HIRO! Where did you go! Don't leave me here with your mess! Oh, you suck!
Claire starts running.
Claire: You suck, you suck, you suck….
She hops in the street and stops a taxi. She hops in the back seat.
Claire: Take me to this address. And fast! Because I'm super pregnant! I have like….20 of them in here!
Voice: Claire?
The driver, Zach, turns around and looks at her.
Claire: Zach….so….you have your own taxi. That's neat. You look like you're doing well for yourself.
Zach: So do you….wow…..you're super pregnant.
Claire: Oh, no…ha ha….these are just books that I stole from the high school…..probably could have changed that up a little. You see, they're not for me….they're Hiro's….so he can go to jail. Not I.
Zach: Hiro! You've talked to him?
Claire: Unfortunately. He tricked me into a job stealing stupid books and made me ruin one of my 800,000 cheerleading outfits. He'll live to see the day….or….he won't live to see the day. Is that it? He will one day…live to see the day….that he will no longer live. That works!
Zach: I have to talk to him! I need to know what happened to us after the fall of Genesis Redux.
Claire: Yeah, Peter mentioned something like that but we're all starting to kinda…forget it, if that makes sense. Probably not. Anyway, here's the address to the "school", if Hiro's there he will surely be killed…by me. And you may want to floor it because the cops are looking for us.
Zach peels off and speeds down the road.
Claire: We're not going fast enough! We'll have to sacrifice one of the kids!
Claire rolls down the window and pulls out…
Claire: History….you were a good child, but my heavens are you EVER so boring. You belong to a good family now. Goodbye!
Claire throws the book out the window.
Zach: This road is blocked! I have to make a U-Turn!
Zach turns the taxi around and starts heading the opposite direction. The History book flies into Claire's window and whaps her in the face.
Claire: AAHH! I just broke my nose! How in the world did that even happen! It doesn't make sense.
Claire pulls out a Physics book.
Claire: Oh, there is no way I'm understanding this! Goodbye, other child!
Claire throws the physics book out the window.
Zach: I have to take a different route!
Claire rolls up her window.
Claire: Not taking any chances this time.
Back at the school.
Woman (to Micah): In here please.
The woman escorts Micah to the room and shuts the door. The mysterious man is in there.
Man: Hello, Micah.
Micah: Um….this….looks professional. What changes do you need to make?
Woman: We're not here to change your outfit.
Micah: Oh, this apparently was a trap then. That's nice.
Man: Micah, you do not know who we are. But we know you. I know you especially.
Micah: I….see.
Man: My name is Benjamin, Micah. And you are my ancestor.
Micah: An…an….huh?
Benjamin: Me and my business partner, Chloe….
She waves.
Benjamin: We have come from the year 2244 to talk to you.
Micah: Uh…..uhhhh….
Benjamin: I am the Twelfth Generation in your bloodline. As far as recorded history goes documenting people with….abilities.
Micah: Bloodline…..Twelfth?
Benjamin: Yes. You're my Great Grandfather….I'm leaving out the additional 'Greats' because I personally don't feel like saying it a thousand times just to introduce ourselves, that would be silly.
Micah: I feel faint.
Benjamin: We know you're from the "Third Generation" of Heroes…people with abilities. We've done our homework.
Micah: Uh huh.
Benjamin: Your legacy has been passed down every generation.
Micah: My legacy?
Benjamin: That's correct. We have continued this tradition, though we don't have abilities anymore. We are currently known as this:
He hands Micah a business card, which reads:
Generation 12welve
Micah: "Generation Twelve-welve?"
Benjamin: No, it's just Generation Twelve. We're the 12th generation.
Micah: Looks an awful lot like "Generation Twelve-welve".
Benjamin: But it's not.
Micah: I'm reading it, clear as day! I see what you're trying to do, but THAT's a "twelve"….then you end it with "-welve"…..It's Generation Twelve-Welve!
Chloe (to Benjamin): I told you!
Benjamin: Whatever, give me back my card. Anyway….we need your help.
Micah: What am I supposed to do?
Benjamin: The time that we come from….the world is a desolate place. Abilities are being removed by…..them.
Micah: Who is…."them"…..Who are "them"?….is that right?...Man, maybe I shouldn't be graduating yet. Who are they? That works!
Benjamin: The Brigade of International Extermination of the Banned Evolution Resistance. Or "Bieber" for short.
Micah: Oh…wow.
Benjamin: Normal civilians are siding with the enemy. They're turning on people with abilities and turning them in….they're called…."The Beliebers".
Micah: How this show doesn't get sued every 5 seconds just astounds me.
Benjamin: We've searched our records and found that your timeline has references to this same cause.
Micah: Yeah, but it means something COMPLETELY different. Let's just focus on yours.
Benjamin: Has…there been any recent change to your….world or time….that may have had a negative influence on the events of the future.
Micah: Uhhhh….
Flashback Micah, Molly and Isaac Mendez at the computer, rearranging lines of computer code in Genesis Redux.
Micah: …."ish".
Micah explains what happened with Genesis Redux.
Benjamin: I see….and this machine changed the future?
Micah: See, that's the thing. It wasn't really supposed to. But everything was coming down and I was typing so much so who knows?
Benjamin: So this machine….no longer exists?
Micah: That is correct.
Benjamin: Can you…build another one?
Micah: I didn't even build the first one. I'm still unsure where it even came from! Arthur, Linderman…it kept going back and forth…I lost track.
Benjamin: Linderman!...
Micah: Uh…yeah?
Benjamin looks at Chloe.
Benjamin: That's him.
Micah: What?
Benjamin: He's the man in charge of Bieber.
Micah: Listen pal, you really need to change that name…it's just going to confuse people…..or make them upset. Or both.
Benjamin: He's the head of it. Daniel Linderman. He's the man taking our powers.
Micah: That…makes NO sense. Daniel Linderman has been dead…I think…for a very long time. Yeah, he's been terrorizing us forever pretending to be a ghost…or something…but with Genesis Redux gone he lost his chance to come back to life for real. He's dead. Really dead. That and he doesn't take people's powers….he heals them.
Benjamin: That sounds like he would be a good person.
Micah: Well, he's not. He just has good people powers….he just doesn't use them for their intended purpose. Regardless, if you're from hundreds of years in the future, how is Linderman even alive?!
Benjamin: He's….been dead the entire time, then.
Micah: Oh…..that….sort of….makes sense. Hold on, is it this guy?
Micah pulls up his phone and Googles Linderman.
Micah: Is this him?
Benjamin: Sure….but a much older version. Is that is grandfather?
Micah: No….yours is younger? That makes even less sense, unless if he had children.
Benjamin: Listen, we specifically came to you because you're the only one who is living in the timeframe where something has gone wrong enough to mess up the future.
Micah: Yeah, our show kinda does that.
Benjamin: You have to find a way to rebuild that machine.
Micah: What's the alternative?
Benjamin: Come back with us and take down his organization personally.
Micah: Uh huh….
Benjamin: We managed to get here because we actually had a time machine in the future.
Micah: Oh yeah, I'm surprised that wasn't my first question.
Benjamin: But it's broke….do you know anybody who has time travelling abilities.
Micah: Yeah….he just stole a bunch of books from the school. He's your guy.
Hiro meanwhile appears back in his "school" office.
Hiro: Did I just?...Uh oh…..Claire's going to be furious. That's right, I teleport when I get nervous. That was it. I know, I'll go back and…
Hiro's chair spins around, with Kaito Nakamura in it.
Hiro: EEEEEEKKKK!
Kaito: Hello, son. You are expecting me.
Hiro: No I wasn't! That's why I shrieked!
Kaito: We have business to discuss.
Claire: Hiro Nakamura! You're a dead man!
Claire storms in.
Hiro: EEEEEEKKKKK!
Kaito: I didn't know you were expecting company.
Hiro: I wasn't! That's why I shrieked again!
Claire is followed in by Zach.
Hiro: Zach?
Zach: Hiro, we have to talk.
Claire: Make that two of us.
Hiro gets a text message.
(Message from Ando): HIRO!
Hiro text messages back.
(Message from Hiro): EEEEEEEEKKK!
(Message from Ando): Dude! I just got popped by the cops for stealing books for the school! I thought this was a legit business! I'm in jail! HEEEEELP!
Hiro: Oh man, where's a "Generations Redux" machine when you need it….ok, I'm not that desperate.
Claire: We're waiting.
Suddenly, Claire gets whapped in the back of the head with a Physics book.
Claire: OWWW!
Back at the Carnival.
Samuel (to Mohinder): So you see. You belong here. You can teach the world so much.
Mohinder: I believe that.
Samuel: So….what do you say? Will you join our little family? Nobody appreciates your work back home, do they? Your ability?
Mohinder: No, especially one time…
Samuel: Don't tell the story again. Just…..what do you say?
Mohinder: I'll stay….but my kiosk is much too small. I'd like that one over there.
Samuel: It's all yours.
The guy running the Bobbing For Apples kiosk throws his hands into the air.
Samuel: One down, one to go.
Samuel heads back.
Samuel: Hmm? What the?
Samuel calls Edgar and Lydia.
Edgar (answering): Hey, hey….Daphne! What's shakin?
Samuel: WHAT?!
Edgar: Oh…man, sorry, boss. Your number looks just like this girl's number I got….oh, well I'm embarrassed.
Samuel: What are you two doing?
Edgar: Getting the girl?
Samuel: You can't! I didn't tell you to!
Edgar: Um….can't you tell us now?
Samuel: Not if you're already doing it!
Edgar: Um….what I meant to say is….Lydia and I went to get some Frozen Yogurt. YUM! Waiting on your next move, sir!
Samuel: You know we have Frozen Yogurt at the Carnival…GASP! Mutiny!
Edgar (to Lydia): I'm not going to win with this am I?
Lydia: Have you never heard of an address book? You know phones can store names to people's numbers.
Edgar: I don't know how to do that on this thing.
Lydia: Is that….Is that one of those old Nokia phones?!
Edgar: Yeah, I almost beat my score on Snake!
Lydia: SNAKE!? How is that thing even working! They haven't made those in years!
Edgar: I refuse to be a sheep.
Lydia: A sheep?!
Edgar: Technology nowadays is pointless. You spend hundreds of dollars on some pricey thingy-madoo, and you just have to get a new one every six months.
Lydia: That's not true. You can still keep your old one….you just have to get a new one after nine months because the firmware will be outdated and run like garbage.
Edgar: Not this guy. I prefer the simple things.
Samuel: HEY! I'M STILL ON THE PHONE, YOU JACKALS! Stop trying to kidnap the girl and get back here so I can tell you to go kidnap the girl! That's an order!
Edgar tosses his phone in the back seat.
Edgar: Man…that frozen yogurt is going to tear up my stomach.
Lydia: We didn't get frozen yogurt.
Edgar: Oh right!
Lydia: …..(holding up his phone)…and I just beat your score on Snake.
Edgar: …(slows down the car)…get out.
Back at The Company.
West hangs up his phone.
Daphne: What's wrong?...That sounded too insincere….."What's you problem now?!"….That's better!
West: I can't get a hold of Claire. I faintly remember us parting ways…then we ended up driving around in an ambulance.
Daphne: Yeah, life's tough…or something.
West: Can you check and see if she's home?
Daphne: Isn't that a little stalkery?
West: I just want to see if she's alright. Besides, it would be you doing the stalking.
Daphne: Good point. I'll go now.
West: …
Daphne: …
West: ….um….
Daphne: …hm?...Oh, right….she's not home.
West: I….don't think you left.
Daphne: Are you doubting my ability?
West: Well….no…..not really.
Daphne: She wasn't home.
West: But I never gave you her address.
Daphne: Oh, we go way back. We're good friends.
West: Who?
Daphne: Janet or whatever her name is.
West: Uh huh.
Elle walks in and sees Peter at her CSI machine. She runs in the kitchen to grab a plate, returns and drops it in shock.
SHATTER!
Elle: What in the hell's hell are you doing?!
Peter: I heard that you had one of these spiffy CSI machines so I need to use it to solve my brother's murder.
Nathan: Again, still alive!...Why did you drag me out of the hospital for this?
Peter: So you can witness justice at its finest. I have my top Gumshoes on the case…but with this nifty thing I'll beat them to it. It's a good way to get out of paying your employees!
Elle: I don't need a lecture on how to get out of paying my employees. I'm quite good at it!
Sylar: Say what?!
Peter: Okay, let's put in the DNA from Nathan's mouth.
Nathan: Hey! I didn't sign off on that! Where did you get my DNA?
Peter: Uh….
Flashback to Peter sneaking into Nathan's hospital room. He lifts up a roll of duct tape, stretching out a long piece and placing it on Nathan's mouth.
RIIIIIIIP!
Nathan: AHHHHHH!
Peter (back at the computer): You'll thank me when we find out who did this to you.
Nathan (rubbing his lips): I already know who did this to me!
The computer shows Nathan's lips touching the cup.
The make and model of the cup.
The liquid in the cup. Coffee!
The kind of coffee in the cup! Maxwell House!
Peter: You drink Maxwell House?! Who drinks Maxwell House?
Nathan: I do! It's still a popular brand!
Elle: Well, I'm a Folgers girl. Can't stand coffee itself, but I love the smell.
She opens a can of Folgers Coffee and takes a giant whiff.
Elle: ACK! It went up my nose! I can't breathe! (Gets on her phone) Dr. Santiago?...It's Elle. I did it again!
Peter: Meanwhile…
The computer shows the type of poison in the coffee.
Peter: Poison! That must be what Nathan was poisoned with!
Nathan: DUH!
The vial the poison came from.
The hand that held the vial.
The hand belonging to….
Nathan: Tracy Strauss. I knew it…..because I already said it.
Peter: This won't be good news for Niki. She already has enough problems on her plate.
Niki (at the school play): UGH! Why is this dress getting bigger!? Oh no, is this that stupid 'Wheel Of Fortune' dress!? How did I end up with it again? Did some Gypsy curse me when I was a child or something?!
Niki turns to Matt.
Niki: Wait….What did you just say?
Matt: Yeah, I totally wrote Grease.
Niki: You did not write Grease, you lying liar!
Matt: I most certainly did! They just stole my idea.
Niki: Grease came out when you were, what?...5 years old?
Matt: I wrote it at 4 for a Daycare assignment.
Niki: Bull!
Matt: Except my play is called….Goop!
Niki: Goop?
Matt: Yuppers! Goop is the word! See…that's the first song, right there on page one.
Niki: You have your script from your 40 year old daycare project which I'm totally not buying?
Matt: Yup.
Niki: Wait….where's the script for Grease?
Matt: Right here! (Taps his script).
Niki: No, you need the script for…oh, no….you didn't.
Matt: Totally rehearsed the lines for my movie….since it's the same thing.
Niki: You fool! The play starts in like….now minutes!
Matt: It'll be the greatest show on earth!
Niki: It better not be. I remember your stupid Magic Show duel you and Elle had between Claire and West. And that was a total disaster!
Matt: How did you know that?
Niki: Anything stupid you do gets forwarded to me by email so I can use it as evidence to kick you off the show. I've been doing it since Season One! Hasn't worked so far…but it will! One day….
Matt: You're not going to get very far, with me being an Executive Producer and all.
Niki: YOU ARE NOT THE EXECUTIVE PRODUCER!
Matt: Yup, gained EP status after a lawsuit I filed against NBC for stealing my idea for the show.
Niki: I feel unwell….You must be joking.
Matt: Nope….All this, my idea. Wrote it back in 2002….a nice little literary piece. I called it….Goop!
Niki (points at Matt): HATE!
The curtain rises, the audience claps.
Matt: Now, this is a story all about how, my life got flipped-turned upside down, and I'd like to take a minute, Just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air!
He turns to Niki.
Matt: Bel Air is where the school is located. I don't know where they came up with this whole "Rydell" business.
The audience applauds.
Niki: Of course they're buying it.
Matt: Cough…Executive Producer…..Cough
Niki: Oh, shut up.
Meanwhile, at Angela's house. She wakes up.
Angela: Gasp! I know what I need to do.
She picks up the phone.
Bob Bishop, asleep, reaches out and picks up his gold telephone.
Bob: What?
Angela: Pack your bags Bob…..
Flashback to Angela dream flash forward into the future.
Angela is standing in the middle of the room. Benjamin sits in his chair, staring at a corkboard filled with information. Chloe walks up to him.
Chloe: Ben, come on, we have to go talk to him.
Benjamin: Fine.
They get up and walk away, Chloe stops. She turns around and looks at Angela square in the eye. She walks away.
Present Day.
Bob: Why?
Angela: We're going on a little trip.
To Be Continued.