Chapter Five...I bet they won't play this song on the radio.

Stephenie Meyer owns the characters. I own a mac after my hard drive ate all of my children's photos from the last three years, as well as priceless videos of my kids growing up. No more windows PC's for me...Oh, right, shut up Izbels and get on with the story, does this even count as a disclaimer.

~~OtA~~

EPOV

Edward looked up at his friend and made the only statement that he could.

"Fuck."

He saw Bella turn slowly to look into the eyes of the person intruding on their moment together.

In her surprised expression, he could see that she was thinking the same thing.

They were both fucked.

Jasper quietly closed the door behind him and looked at the rooms occupants, who looked like two deer stuck in headlights.

His southern accent became more apparent as he slowly and purposefully made his opinion clear.

"Ladies and Gentleman, this is one situation that I sincerely wished I had not walked in on. But it's probably damned good that I did. Ed, this is not cool man. Miss Swan, you need to rein him in, and this…this shit should not happen again. Open door conversations from now on kiddies." Jasper was desperately trying to not look them both in the eye. He had basically walked in on phoneless phone sex and it disturbed him greatly.

Bella looked like she wanted the earth to swallow her up.

"I'm going to leave now and please believe me Jasper, this will not occur again. We have our boundaries in place and the need for this to be kept confidential is paramount to your stations' survival. I assure you I am here merely on the ... oh fuck, Jasper, are you going to keep this under wraps?" Bella was wringing her small hands and had gone so pale Jasper thought she was going to faint.

"Yes ma'am. I'm taking this disturbing conversation to the grave." He smiled a small smile at her, trying to give her reassurance while trying to convey the message that even this was not kosher. Not kosher at all.

Bella looked at Edward and mouthed "sorry" to him, and then raised her hand in a half-hearted wave of good bye.

Edward tried not to glare at Jasper as Bella walked out the door. He sat down on his trendy, uncomfortable office chair, ran his hands through his hair and covered his face with his hands.

Jasper closed the door behind Bella and sat on the visitor's chair, waiting for his friend to settle down from the scene he just witnessed.

"I am so sorry man; I've screwed this up big time." Edward removed his hands from his face and laid them flat on the table in front of him.

"So you two have a thing going? Or what the hell was the freak show I just witnessed?" Jasper leaned back in his chair and waited patiently for Edward to answer.

Edward was considered what to say.

"I like her. She's the exact opposite of 'that woman'." He couldn't even say Tanya's name without injecting some venom. "I touched her on the arm the other day and there was this, this spark, and we both just wound up mauling the shit out of each other. I'm so attracted to her, and I... I think I wanna marry her and make her have my babies."

Jasper semi-choked as he tried to reconcile what Edward had just said.

"Fuck you make me laugh, you idiot," Jasper said when he could catch his breath. But Edward's face was serious.

"You need to stop thinking with little Eddie man. I know your manhood was stomped on by 'that woman' but you gotta not just hop on board the next straight woman's train."

"Jazz, I really like her. She makes me question this shitty job I have; she makes me think I can do better, that I can be better. I want to get to know her, but believe me, little Eddie will not get in the way here. Can't I, you know, as a grown man, have the woman who holds the future of the company I work for in her tiny delicate little hands... Ah, I think I just answered my own question."

"You're screwed."

"Yup, totally and utterly screwed. I like her man; I really like her. You've got to keep me in line for the next four weeks. I don't want to fuck this up."

"I'm always your wingman. You're gonna have to get Emmett in on this too. He can help keep you two crazy kids in line as well. You really like her, don't you?"

"Yeah, and I need to convince her that this is a manageable situation, despite how screwed up it is."

"All right. Team meeting then. Operation Keep little Eddie under control it is."

Meanwhile Bella had called her own team meeting.

BPOV

"...and then Jasper walks in and he says something about not being able to breathe, and I turn into a child who just got caught with her hand stuck in the cookie jar." Bella had called her friends the moment she got into the car park and arranged for them to meet at her house for a debriefing that evening. She had hurriedly told them about her growing infatuation with the criminal she was supervising.

Rose took it well. There was no screaming or throwing of breakable items. This may have been attributed to the fact that Bella had come home and preempted Roses' reaction by clearing her living room of any potentially mobile objects.

"Bella, my love. My dear, dear friend." She paused for effect and leaned over to put her hand rather heavily on Bella's shoulder. "I know that when it comes to love you aren't all that experienced, so let me tell it to you straight. You cannot SCREW someone who has been court appointed to you to mind for four weeks." Bella blanched at the closeness and loudness of Roses' words, particularly the fact that Rose said a semi-swear word, which she chose to drop extra loudly.

"Down Rosie, down girl." Alice interjected on Roses' tirade.

"Bella darling, I love you, but this is bad, and it can only end ugly. Although from your description, bumping uglies with him probably wouldn't be so bad." Alice giggled to herself, and then stifled it when she saw Roses' face.

"Don't go encouraging her. Just because she gets a little wet in the panties doesn't mean she can just go running to the nearest bad boy and screw him!"

"I think it's kind of nice, the electricity that she obviously feels for this guy, the fact they can't keep their hands off each other, and the fact that they are both willing to wait out the four weeks and see where it goes."

"Alice, you read too many romance novels and books with vampires being in love with girls they shouldn't want, but against all odds, they get to have. Bella needs to keep her trousers on in this situation or she could lose her reputation and her livelihood."

"Hello… the sad pathetic woman you are talking about is still in the room." Bella looked at her friends and took a big gulp out of the large glass of wine that she had in front of her.

"I haven't ever felt this connection with anyone before and it's just a little too remarkable to just let it go. I need you guys to keep me in check; I need to have one of you with me chaperoning my ass because I'm likely to fuck up our business because my v-jay jay is doing my thinking... and maybe a little bit of my heart too..."

"She looks like one of those little puppies in the shelter window, doesn't she? You know, the one with the big brown eyes that you just can't say no to." Rose finally spoke a little gentler to her friend.

"I agree. She's like one of those golden retrievers."

"Yeah, they'll hump anything as well." Ok, so maybe Rose wasn't being gentler by anyone else's standards, but this was her backing down as much as she could.

"So we are agreed - supervision at all times and then after four weeks..."

"It's booty call time!"

"Shut the f-up Alice, you're not helping," Rose said, as she threw a cushion at Alice. Then they all picked up a glass and drank a little too enthusiastically.

~~OtA~~

My Beta is beta'ing the heck outta this fic, love ya FicObsessed. Elaine67 continues to preread. She is the Shizzle too...