Magic and Mushrooms Ch4

The map was spread out on the ground in front of them, they both studied it intently. "Ok, touch it now."

Ryoga did as he was told and placed one hand on the map. Whoa, that's never happened before!

Both sets of eyes opened wide. The map was rearranging itself before them. It was a subtle shift, trails and roads moving only millimeters at a time here and there, but it changed all the same. "It worked. You really did contaminate it."

I wonder if it's getting worse... Ryoga was no stranger to being abysmally lost but he'd never seen anything like this before.

"Let's go!" Ranma said eagerly. There was a certain thrill that came with not knowing where you'd end up.

"You must've noticed it this time." Ranma commented to Ryoga.

He looked around, "Er..."

"Come on! We were in a forest Ryoga, a forest." This was unbelievable.

"I know, I just thought we walked out if it." He replied. It had seemed to him that one location blended seamlessly into the next.

"We're in the savanna! It's scorching hot and as dry as Akane's rice! How could this possibly be connected to that forest?" She asked incredulously.

If he thought about it logically, if course she was right, there was no way a normal person would have believed the two to be side by side. He was no normal person however, and he knew it. There was a good reason that he couldn't differentiate, he wasn't going to tell Ranma that though. So he settled for shrugging in response to her question.

"There's zebras!" She pointed across the vast open space where the black and white creatures mingled with a herd of gazelles. Choosing to metaphorically kick a dead horse, she continued, "Zebras live in Africa, we were in North America." The movement of his shoulders was again his only reply, it was starting to tick Ranma off. "What the hell? Are ya trying ta piss me off?"

He opened his mouth to reply but the sound of hundreds of hoof beats suddenly got his attention. "I think we should run." All the animals, zebras and gazelles alike, were stampeding toward them. They turned to flee the oncoming rush of animals only to come face to face with a lion. Ryoga intended to leap over it and run, but when were things ever that easy? Instead he felt the uncomfortably familiar weight clinging to him yet again.

"C-c-cat..."

"Aw, come on!" Ryoga wailed miserably, wondering if he'd angered some vengeful deity. He turned to run to the right but another lion was fast approaching. Left it is then...

As he ran further and further it seemed as though more lions were turning away from the herd to chase what they perceived to be weak humans. He kept having to change direction to avoid the newcomers. He didn't notice until it was too late that they had herded him up against two sheer rock faces. They were cornered. He tried in vain to put Ranma down so he'd stand a chance fighting them, but she may as well have been super glued to him.

One of the lions leapt at them then. Damn it, think of something! He scolded himself.

"Mreeeeeoooooooow!"

Ranma dislodged herself and in the blink of an eye was scratching wildly at the charging lion. It only took a few seconds for her to utterly defeat the animal. She let out another cat-like noise, which the remaining lions seemed to take as a challenge. They all dashed towards her at once, she rose to the occasion, hissing and spitting as she leapt into the fray. They rolled around throwing up a cloud of dust for several moments before Ranma pounced out victorious. She sat upon her defeated foes and glanced around for another fight, her eyes locked on Ryoga.

Crap! "Uh, nice kitty?" He offered. At first he thought it hadn't worked as she pounced at him, but he was thoroughly surprised when she knocked him over and curled up in his lap. "Uh..." He didn't know what to do or say, if he yelled or knocked her off she might go all catfu on him. She started purring and he wondered how that even worked since she wasn't actually a cat. That's actually kind of adorable. He thought, before shaking his head and scolding himself, Don't be stupid, it's Ranma...

Ranma shifted in his lap and looked up at him. Is she normal now? The answer, he discovered, was a resounding no, as she sat up and pecked him affectionately on the lips. Ryoga froze like a deer caught in headlights, his mind blanking out.

Ranma blinked, feeling disoriented. Wide eyes stared blankly at her, it was then that she realized her lips were pressed against someone else's.

"Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!"

She punched said person in the face.

"This place sucks. Everything wants to eat us and we're running out of water fast." Ranma complained, "Touch the map and see if you can get us lost somewhere else."

He grumbled as he snatched it out of her hand.

"Aw, stop bein' so grumpy. I apologized." She did feel kinda bad for giving him a black eye.

"No, what you said was that you were sorry I bruise easily." He glared at her.

"Well, ya shouldn't have let your guard down." She retorted.

He rolled his eyes. After several minutes he said, "The map didn't change."

Ranma pulled the map back from his grasp. It does look the same... "Try again."

He touched it and both watched, waiting. Nothing happened. "Maybe we haven't gone far enough from where we started?" He guessed.

"You don't have any idea how ya do it?" She asked.

"I told you, it's never happened before. Normally when I get this lost it takes weeks." He answered,

"Whatever, let's just find some food and water." Her stomach grumbled.

The pair of martial artists were fast, strong and skilled. That made hunting easy, water was the problem. Ryoga knew a survival trick to distill water from the ground, using his plastic emergency blanket to cover a hole dug in the ground with a cup in the middle. This was keeping them alive, but barely. It was slow and not nearly enough. A watering hole was marked on the map, but it was a long journey. If they just walked they couldn't collect their distilled water. So they made only a little progress each day.

They couldn't get the map to change again. Neither had any idea why it had stopped working.

It seemed to take forever to reach the watering hole, but finally they made it. "Gross!" Muck hole is more like it, Ranma thought.

"We'll have to boil that." The water was disgusting to behold, but it was the best they were going to get out here. After gathering what little wood they could find Ryoga realised that they were out of tinder. "Damn, should have gathered some dead grass on the way, everything here is too green."

"We could rip the corners off the map, it doesn't go to the edges anyway." Ranma suggested.

"It'll do." He replied as she pulled the map back out.

Just as she was about rip to the paper a voice yelled, "STOP!" They both blinked in surprise and looked around. There didn't seem to be anybody here.

"Show yourself!" Ranma called out.

"Down here." The voice answered.

Both fighters looked down and saw nothing. "Uh..."

"In your hands, you idiot!" The voice cried.

The only thing Ranma was holding was the map. She looked at it, it seemed the same as ever. Where's that voice coming from? She wondered as she flipped the map over in her hand. How did I not see that before?

There, on the reverse side of the paper was a moving sketch of a beautiful woman in her undergarments. Ryoga looked away, the drawing made him uncomfortable. Ranma couldn't care less what she was wearing, "Was that you talkin' to us?"

The woman nodded, "You mustn't burn my parchment."

"So this is your map? Was it you getting us lost all over the place?" Ranma asked angrily.

"Just a harmless practical joke. No harm done... right?" The drawing asked.

"Ha! I knew it wasn't my curse!" Ryoga yelled out.

"What curse?" Ranma asked him, suspecting he didn't mean the one from Jusenkyo.

"Nevermind that." He tried to look at the parchment without looking at the girl. "How did you move us around, and why?"

"Hmph!" She looked at Ranma, choosing to answer the second question. "She is a disciple of that rotten old man that trapped me in this accursed parchment. To add insult to injury, her father doodled all over it. The indignity! I just wanted a little revenge..."

Ranma's eye twitched, "Tell me why I shouldn't rip you to shreds right now."

"I can send you home! I was a powerful fox spirit once, I still retain some of my magic! Just don't damage my parchment!" She begged.

"Fine, then send us home, now." Ranma demanded.

"Well, I can't right now." She stated. Ranma tore the edge of the paper, "No! Wait! It's just that I can only use my magic three times per month! My magic will be restored on the full moon." Ranma seemed satisfied and relaxed her grip on the paper. "Just promise you won't return me to that perverted old man!" Ranma nodded.

Ryoga had a question for the girl, "Why," he asked, "did you only change the map when I touched it?"

"Oh, the short haired girl implied that you would encounter lions, tigers and bears if you were to hold the map. I thought to avoid detection by leading you to believe that you were the cause." She laughed, "That was fun."

She was just toying with us... Ryoga was tempted to use her for tinder regardless of her ability to get them home.

Now that the pair knew that they could easily return home they began to train their chi again. There had been so much going on that they'd fallen behind. They stayed near the filthy watering hole, catching dinner when animals came by for a drink. They had been forced to wander far and wide for wood and grass to build fires though.

The relative peace gave them some time to reflect on the various events of the trip.

Ryoga was both looking forward to and not looking forward to the end if this trip. Of course he was sick of the savanna, but he was still burdened by guilt and was planning to visit Akari as soon as they checked in at the dojo. He also was really not looking forward to seeing Ranma return to male form. While they didn't speak of it,that night was never far from his mind. Getting along with Ranma as a rather cute, albeit often irritating girl was easy. Looking into his rival's eyes once he was male again would be humiliating and a little painful. He figured that some time wandering alone would do him good, he needed to move on.

Ranma was both looking forward to and not looking forward to the end of this trip. Of course she was sick of the Savanna, but her annoying mess of a life was waiting for her back home. Insane fiancees, even crazier suitors, the old letch, her irresponsible father, new and ridiculous threats that only she ever seemed able to deal with, Akane... She felt a pang of guilt, but repressed it. It wasn't her fault as far as she was concerned. She felt a sadness when she thought about returning, she'd gotten used to Ryoga's presence. The thought of the young nomad wandering off again caused a constricted feeling in her chest. She assumed it was because she'd miss her friend.

Akane was practicing her kata in the dojo when she heard the commotion. Soun and Genma seemed excited about something. When she heard Ranma's voice she quickly ran out to the yard. "Ranma, Ryoga, you're back!"

"Hey Akane." Ranma greeted her casually.

Ryoga wouldn't meet her eyes, "He-hello." He wondered, not for the first time, if Ranma felt no guilt or if she was just very good at hiding it.

"Will you be joining us for dinner?" Asked Kasumi, who had just poked her head outside.

"No," Ryoga shook his head, "I have to go."

"You just got back, where are you planning to go?" Akane asked him.

"I have to see Akari." He would not enjoy that visit.

No one noticed Ranma's hands balling into fists as she spoke. "Well you better go then, wouldn't want to keep Akari waiting."

"Ranma!" Akane yelled. "Don't tease Ryoga like that. I think it's sweet that he wants to see her right away."

"Yes, a boy itching to see his fiancee after a long trip from home, it warms the heart doesn't it, Tendo?" Genma asked.

"Indeed it does, Saotome. If only Ranma here would show such enthusiasm." Soun replied.

"Yeah yeah," she waved her hand absently, "whatever, I need a bath." Then she trotted off into the house.

"I should go..." Ryoga was getting an uncomfortable feeling from Ranma's little outburst. All the more reason to go away for a while...

Ranma washed up while the bath water poured. Ugh, why did I flip out like that? She wondered. It's not like I care what Ryoga does or who he goes to visit. She stepped into the water.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!"

The whole Tendo family appeared in the bathroom door.

"Ranma, what..." Akane started.

"Eeyaa!" Ranma cried as she grabbed a towel and covered her chest.

"We apologize." Soun and Genma said in unison as they averted their eyes and backed away.

Akane was in too much shock at seeing Ranma's female form sitting in the hot water to notice this new found modesty. "Ranma, you're a girl."

"Oh my!" Said Kasumi (because really, what else does she ever say?)

"Hmm, this is interesting." Nabiki said as a camera flash went off in her hand.

"Nabiki, stop it. This is serious." Akane scolded.

Ranma was just sitting there looking down at herself in a state of shock and utter disbelief.

"Come on Ranma," Akane said as she grabbed a dry towel. "Let's get you out of there and we'll go see doctor Tofu."

Ranma nodded weakly and stood on shaky legs. Akane wrapped the towel over her shoulders and helped her out of the tub.

"Hmm... Hmm..." Dr. Tofu said as he examined Ranma. "I have some ideas, but I really need to talk to Ranma privately. Akane, would you mind waiting outside?"

"No problem." She went without a fuss.

"What is it doc? Is it bad? How bad is it?" Ranma asked nervously.

"Slow down. We'll get to that. First, tell me about your training trip." Tofu said calmly.

Ranma told him everything, except what happened that night.

"No, none of that explains this condition." He replied. "You said you were a girl the whole time?"

"Yeah, since just after we left the Tendo's." She answered.

"What's the longest you've ever been a girl before then?" Tofu probed.

"Almost a month, when the Old Ghoul hit me with that Full Body Cat's Tongue and about the same with the locking ladle. Is that what's wrong? I spent too much time as a girl? Is there a cure?" She was panicking now.

"No Ranma, that's not it. This is difficult to ask," he hesitated, "but Ranma, while you were on your trip... were you, uh..." He whispered the next bit, "intimate, with a boy?"

Ranma paled visibly, her mouth went dry and she couldn't form words. She opened and closed her mouth several times with no sound coming out. Instead, she nodded. How does he know...

"You weren't forced were you?" He asked seriously.

Her pride bristled, "As if he could." She snorted. "It was all the fault of those damned mushrooms!"

"Mushrooms?" Tofu asked.

Ranma explained what had happened and what the mushrooms looked like, leaving out the more personal details.

Tofu pulled a book off his shelf and flipped it open. "These?" He was pointing at a picture of the very mushrooms she had described.

"Yeah, that's them." She tried to read the description but Tofu closed the book after sliding a piece of paper into the correct page.

"I'll let you borrow it." Now that he knew a bit more about what had happened and why, he asked, "Ranma, do you know anything about girls' menstrual cycles?"

Ranma shook her head, making a disgusted face. And I don't want to know...

"Well, a girl's cycle is typically around a month long. I suspect that every time you change into a girl you start at day one. About half way through she becomes fertile..." He trailed off a bit here.

He's not saying...?

"If conception does not occur, she'll go on to get her period in the first week of the next cycle. You were a girl for two months, but that didn't happen, did it?" He asked gently.

Ranma shook her head, not liking where this was going one bit.

"Ranma, I need you to provide a urine sample." He handed her a cup and shooed her into the washroom. Oh dear... He thought to himself.

Ranma came back a few minutes later with the now full cup in hand. Tofu stuck a plastic stick in it and looked at his watch. He seemed to be making a point of not looking Ranma in the eye. Two minutes later he pulled it out and looked at it with a sad sigh.

"I'm sorry Ranma, you're..." He took a deep breath, "you're pregnant."

"Good one doc." She said, "what's it really?"

He just looked at her sympathetically. He's not joking. Ranma's world shattered.

"That's not possible, I'm a guy!" She was certain there had to be a mistake.

"You were a girl at the time, and remain to be one even now." He reminded her.

"So, how do I fix it?" She asked desperately.

"You can't. I don't know if it's a safeguard in the curse, or merely the pregnancy hormones, but you will remain a girl at least until you give birth. Possibly longer if you breastfeed the baby." Tofu realized he'd said too much and scared the boy.

"B-b-b-baby? Breastfeed? I'm a guy! I can't have a baby! This is crazy! You're lying! This had got to be some sort of joke! Who put you up to this? Was it Nabiki? It wasn't the crazy girl in the map was it? I can't be... can't be..." her hysterical rant ended in a mournful wail. Dr. Tofu patted her shoulder.

When she finally calmed down she asked, "What am I supposed to do now?"

"Well you should really be taking a multivitamin." He rummaged through a cupboard and handed her a pill bottle. "I'd normally suggest an ob/gyn but in your case I'm going to recommend you see a friend if mine. She's a midwife, well practiced in Chinese medicine and martial arts. If the curse causes any side effects, she'll be the most knowledgeable." He handed her a business card. "I will let you inform the Tendo's yourself, but I do suggest you don't keep it from them for too long. Dragging it out will only make it harder in the long run."

Ranma nodded and left Tofu's office in a daze.

"So? What did you find out?" Akane asked.

"I-I don't want to talk about it right now Akane." Ranma took off running.

Akane, annoyed and wanting answers, went into the clinic. "Dr. Tofu? What happened to Ranma?"

"I'm sorry Akane, I can't tell you that. Ranma will tell you herself when she's ready. Please be patient with her, it was very upsetting news and she may need time to adjust before she's comfortable discussing it." Tofu advised. He didn't want Akane getting violent with Ranma given the state she was in.

Oh, no, it must be serious. "Yes Dr. Tofu, I will." She promised.