Chapter 13 Rock 'n' Roll Radio - The Ramones
Stephenie Meyer is a literary genius. I am a literary imbecile who can't get a beta.
She wrote the characters, I wrote this whilst angry at an insurance company for denying my claim...
~~OtA~~
JPOV
Sniggers tend to resonate through small spaces. This was the sound that poor Edward was probably hearing as he awoke screaming from whatever terrible dream he was having.
He had his hand firmly on Edward's upper arm for a number of reasons. One was to prevent Edward from jumping out of his seat; the other was so that Edward would know that he was still acting as his wingman during the flight. This had been the ritual for the past several years. He and Emmett both took the tour of duty on all flights, ensuring that Edward was sedated and safe. This was the first time that Edward had ever yelled out. For him to call out the God-danged lawyer's name was not going to help matters at all.
"Ed man, chill. Take some breaths. The plane has landed and we're on the way to the terminal. Just breathe. Since you're an emotional wreck, I'll wait until we're at the hotel until I rip you a new one about what you just called out."
"Oh shit man, what did I say?" Edward looked messed up.
"Well partner, you just shouted out lawyer lady's name." He shook his head at his friend. He obviously still had it bad for her.
"Oh crap. Her bitch friend, Rosalie, made some comments about hand delivering me my nuts on a platter, and her voice, Jazz it sounded like she had castrated other chaps prior. She said it really creepy, like she knew exactly what to do and she wasn't afraid to do it. I must have been thinking about it before I went to sleep. Plus, you bastards drug me up worse than Mr. T going on an A-Team flight mission." Jasper noted that the hair rubbing had started again, a clear sign of his friend's anxiety.
He remained unconvinced of Edward's reasoning behind whose name he shouted as they gathered their items to finally get off the plane. He looked up at Bella, who kept trying not to get caught glancing at Edward. Every time she looked she met Jasper's eyes, and she'd quickly look away like a deer being hunted. He hoped that whatever they had planned would keep management and the judges convinced because he was currently thinking that the pair of them were playing the rest of the team for suckers.
The hotel had only sent one courtesy van, so half of the crew settled into the van to make the trip to the hotel, while the other half waited behind. Jasper made sure that Edward was sitting up front, Emmett behind him and the girls were in the back of the van. He was hoping he would catch Edward trying to look at Bella so he could stop any signals they had planned. Once at the hotel, the plan was that the girls would take one of the king suites and they would take another one, which hopefully would be on a different floor. "Divide and Conquer" was the theme for the duration of their stay in Vegas. His friend was on a continuous cock-block. Which was a shame really, because Edward needed to move on from that bitch Tanya as quickly as he could. He glanced behind so that he could check on exactly where Bella was sitting, and was surprised to find himself looking into the hazel eyes of her friend Alice.
Dear Lord, please don't let anyone cock-block me from that fine little miss, because I would surely like to get to know her better.
APOV
There is a stench about Bella and it smells like deceit. She had gotten in the head of Captain Jackass and now he was dreaming about her. Bella couldn't lie straight on the floor if she tried, and now she was trying to convince everyone that she and Edward hated each other.
She must have started to hum out loud the tune to "liar, liar pants on fire" when her eyes met the gaze of one Mr. Jasper Whitlock. He was one mighty fine southern gentleman, who somehow was roped into managing this lunatic who got them in this position in the first place. She wondered if she could get into her own trouble with the rather divine fair haired, blue eyed Mr. Whitlock. She mentally decided to be kinder to Edward. After all, it was his behavior that managed to get her in the vicinity of this fine piece of man meat in the first place.
BPOV
Bella had a feeling that Jasper suspected that something wasn't quite right. She also suspected that Alice was on that same wavelength. In fact, as she looked at Alice, who was eyeing up Jasper like he was candy, she was fairly certain that she could somehow blackmail Alice into being her ally against Rose.
Except she needed Alice to keep her in check because otherwise she was going to get their company into some serious legal doo-doo.
Why hadn't Edward looked at his iPhone? Maybe he had already? She couldn't stand all this subterfuge. Why couldn't meeting a boy just be simple?
EPOV
Zzzzzz.
BPOV
Oh wow, he's snoring. Like genuine, inebriated snoring. OK. He's forgiven for not looking at his phone.
JPOV
Oh crap. Edward just drooled on my shirt.
BPOV
The ride to the hotel was unbearable. Bella could practically see the tension in the van. She needed an excuse and she needed one now. The manic pixie would start to grill her and she was going to have to explain her behavior and why Edward screamed out her name…
RPOV
Rosalie had her own problems. She had to tell Bella that just before they got on the plane she basically made a threat to castrate Edward if he did anything that would embarrass her. Then he had a nightmare where he was probably enacting what she would do to him. She needed to tone down her lawyer scare tactics on real people who weren't doing anything wrong. After all, he couldn't have guessed that Bells was a virgin, could he? And he wouldn't have meant to insult her that way, surely, if he did know. He was just being an ass. I It wasn't intentional; it was just the way he was. She found herself feeling terribly sorry that she said anything. She did do a very vicious, threatening voice that was known to make grown men cry. Heck, there were times when judges had trembled before her.
She turned to Bella and decided that she needed to tell her friend that the cause of Edward's distress was most likely her. In turn, she would support the two of them having a little fun in Vegas before they had to play serious back in Washington.
After all, what happens in Vegas is supposed to stay in Vegas...Right?
BPOV
Getting out of the van was a mission and a half. Edward was dopey, well dopier than usual, and they were all trying to get to the counter to get our rooms and get some sleep prior to the show set up the next day. As she waited patiently while little Alice took charge of their room assignment, she noticed Rose looking decidedly nervous around her.
"Rose what's up? You look like you just told a five year old that there isn't any Santa."
She plonked herself on one of the cozy ottomans in the lobby of the hotel.
"Men find me scary and threatening, don't they Bells?"
"Yep, sweetie, they do. But once they get to know you, they love you just like we all do. Why? Are you crushing on someone?" Bella was not used to her friend being so nervous.
"I think, well I know, that I am the reason why Mr. Cullen called out your name mid-flight."
"Did you buy a wig, dress up as me and have sex with him or something - because no man on earth dreams about me enough to shout my name out, babe!" She tried being light hearted so that Rose would just spill and get whatever it was off her chest.
"I used the voice and the tone on him." Bella sat up.
"You bloody well did not!" Rose cringed at the minor curse word. Bella was amazed because she knew that the voice and the tone that Rose just admitted to using had lead to bigger men peeing themselves. In one case there may have been some soiling of trousers.
"Oh Bells, I did. I know I'm only supposed to use it on special occasions, but I may have said something about castrating him if he said anything else that would upset you. Then I talked about how I used to go hunting around the Olympic Mountains with my folks and that I could skin a moose in 15 minutes and I may have said something about his taking less time because his balls were smaller..."
"Rosalie Elaine Hale...YOU DID NOT!" Bella was thrilled. She could have both of her friends over a barrel. She might even get a half hour with Edward alone!
"Oh Bells, I am so, so, so sorry. You know I'm like a momma bear with a baby cub and the stunt that he is doing tomorrow is so abhorrent. It's is going to be like going through the ringer for you, I just can't bare it honey."
"Rosalie, I don't know what to say to you. I love you, really sweetie, but I have to fight my own battles. This is going to make it very awkward for us to be professional. I don't know how I am going to fix this..."
Rosalie brightened; she knew she was being taken for a ride by Bella. But she did feel terrible that she had caused a nightmare in a grown man. She wasn't completely heartless.
"Bella I'll help you spend some time with your gentleman friend, even though I think it's wrong. I know you are genuinely upset about the V-situation, so I'll give you the opportunity to discuss that subject with him some time during this weekend. I mean, he's going home tomorrow isn't he? After that we'll have a nice girlie Saturday night, where we'll drink large cheap cocktails and I'll hold your hair back while you puke."
"Hmmm ok, I agree with you, except for the puking bit. I'll hold your hair, like I always do."
"Ok then. It's a plan."
At last she had an ally. A powerful, bitchy ally.
Now all Edward had to do was read his damn email.
~~OtA~~
There might be shenanigans next chapter. There might not. Reviewers get teasers that will confuse them even more. Next chapter (I promise) Edward will read Bella's email. Its worth waiting for...Perhaps...
There might be shenanigans next chapter. There might not. Reviewers get teasers that will confuse them even more. Next chapter (I promise) Edward will read Bella's email. It's worth waiting for...Perhaps...