CHAPTER 14

Harry wasn't able to concentrate while he was at work. It was just some paperwork and reports, so his mind wasn't much occupied. He had this feeling in his gut that something was going to go awfully wrong. Then his thoughts drifted to Draco. He had never felt happier in his entire life than how he felt this past month. He felt a slight bit of guilt traipse in him, that reminded him of Ginny and their deal, but he shoved the thought away. He wanted everything to be about Draco. Ginny could be dealt with later on.

But even thoughts of Draco couldn't quell his growing feeling that something was terribly wrong.

After a restless day at work, he decided to call quits and return home, and hopefully relieve his stress through his new favourite stress buster that went by the name of Draco Malfoy. As Harry stepped out of the fireplace in the living room of Grimmauld Place, he noticed something was wrong. The room was eerily quiet, the blinds were closed and there was no candle to light up the place. Nor was there a Draco to greet him.

"Draco? I'm home! Do you want to go out to that new place for din-" he called out but was cut short when he saw a trembling figure by the door. "Draco? What's wrong?" he asked, a bit worriedly and rushed over to the blonde's side. He had never seen the man cry at all, yet here he was, quivering.

He was about to bundle up Draco in his arms, but the other man stopped him. "What-" Harry tried again, but he was interrupted. "Shut up, Potter." Draco whispered.

Harry froze, green eyes widening in shock. Draco never called him Potter, not even when they had argued. He didn't like the sudden change.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Draco whispered, before Harry got over his shock. "Tell you what?" Harry asked warily. Could he have? No, there was still a week and a half left before Ginny was back. The fear was rising in him again. And his fear was confirmed, when Draco shoved a Holyhead Harpies letter in his face.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH GINNY WEASLEY?" he shouted, his wall slowly crumbling. "WHY DID YOU BOTHER STARTING A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME WHEN YOU ARE CLEARLY INTERESTED IN HER? AM I JUST A THING THAT FILLED YOUR VOID IN HER ABSENCE? I TOLD YOU EVERYTHING, TOLD YOU ALL MY SECRETS, ALL MY INSECURITIES AND NOW THIS? HAD YOU TOLD ME THIS BEFORE THE FIRST DATE I WOULDN'T HAVE TRIED WOOING YOU AT ALL! I WOULDN'T HAVE MINDED MY HEART BEING BROKEN HAD YOU COME CLEAN TO ME BUT YOU LIED TO ME. LIED TO ME FOR A WHOLE DAMN MONTH. I WAS WEARING MY HEART ON MY SLEEVE AND YOU DIDN'T JUST BREAK IT, YOU RIPPED IT, SHREDDED IT AND BURNT IT! I KNEW THAT THIS WHOLE THING WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. I AM HUMAN TOO POTTER. I'M JUST LIKE YOU, MENTALLY. THE WHOLE WORLD DOESN'T NEED TO SATISFY YOUR EVERY WHIM." he raged, tears freely falling from his eyes.

"Draco I didn-" Harry tried again, but Draco shrieked louder and threw a vase right at his head. "DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT ME. THIS LETTER EXPLAINS EVERYTHING BETTER THAN YOU POSSIBLY COULD. YOU JUST NEEDED DRACO MALFOY, A PRETTY BLONDE DEATH EATER TO SATISFY YOUR LIBIDO FOR A FEW MONTHS. I'VE HAD ENOUGH POTTER. I'M LEAVING THIS HELL HOLE AND DON'T TRY COMING AFTER ME." And he turned his back and left.

Harry couldn't move. His chest constricted with guilt, mortification and sadness. He remained frozen, but could hear the banging of the doors and cupboards as Draco packed all of his things. After a few minutes, he heard the loud crack of Apparition. Only then, did tears start flowing from his eyes.

HPDMHPDMHPDMHPDM

Harry fell on his knees, right in the middle of the living room, racking with sobs. He kept sobbing until he passed out, right there on the floor. He woke up the next day, at around noon and slowly crept to his and Draco's room, hoping to find Draco sleeping peacefully there, hoping that Draco leaving was just a bad memory. But no. He felt pain stab in his chest. He found a letter on the night stand and he picked it up and started reading it. It was Draco's elegant calligraphy, one that sent a fresh wave of pain throughout him.

Dearest Harry,

I am very sorry I shouted at you and threw that vase at you. I completely understand why you want to be with Ginny Weasley; she makes you happy and has been through with you, side by side, hand in hand even when things were very grim. I've only caused you harm and hurt. I was the cause for most of your loved ones' deaths and I repent and will repent that, every day of my existence.

If I had found out about the deal in the beginning, I would've fought tooth and nail for your love and attention, but now, thinking about what happened with a cool mind, I realized, love is seeing your loved one being happy isn't it? And that's what Ginny gives you; happiness. A few memories resurfaced that encouraged me to let you go.

When we first met on the Hogwarts Express, I offered you my hand in friendship, but you declined it. Nothing had ever hurt me so bad, and also, I was spoilt and got everything I wanted so I made it my life's goal to make yours living hell, and I can never believe that you forgave me for all of that. If I was in your position, I wouldn't have bothered.

In fourth year, I realized that I hurt you, because all I wanted was your attention. Focused on me and only me. It was then I realized I had a crush on you. Whenever I saw you smile, I was happy, walking on air. And when you were sad, I wanted to hold you in my arms (after I ripped the person who hurt you to pieces). The Potter Stinks badges weren't meant to say that. I was supporting you. The other Slytherins tampered with them and I hadn't known that when I showed them to you.

The way you looked when you spoke with Cho Chang and Ginny Weasley, you can't believe how many times I wished, imagined, fantasized you looking at me like that. I was jealous of them, true, but a small part of my brain was happy for you. If they made you happy, you deserve that small piece of happiness. I also realized that I could never give you that happiness ever.

What I'm trying to say is your happiness is mine. Knowing that you're finally getting the happiness you deserve is enough to make me feel warm even on the coldest day. I don't want to intervene in your happiness, nor do I want to be the reason why you feel sad because I trigger sad memories.

To ensure a life-long happiness, I have decided to leave. I've left the country and no one knows where I've gone, so don't try to track me. I've taken everything that may remind you of me away. This letter will burn up once you've read it. I've even prepared a modified memory erasing potion so that you won't remember our tryst, but you will remember everything else you did this past month. I won't tell you where I've kept it, but you will definitely end up consuming it. And don't try forcing Kreacer to tell you where I've kept it either. He's made an Unbreakable Vow to not disclose the location. And I've also charmed it against Summoning Charms.

I hope you remain happy ,always. Your happiness is mine because I have always, and will always love you.

Draco Malfoy.

Harry's eyes filled with tears as he read the letter. He broke down when it started burning. He had lost the love of his life. What had he done?