The Heroes Parody Project
Season 5
Chapter 15
Disclaimer: Heroes is copyright its creator, Tim Kring, and NBC. I do not own anything, know or represent any of the cast or crew. This fan fiction is written purely for entertainment purposes only so please don't sue. Reader Discretion is advised.
Some important men meet Angela for dinner. Noah, the head of the CIA, takes a seat.
Noah: Angela Waller, is it? Explain yourself and this absurd plan of yours.
Angela: Simple, I came up with the most brilliant of plans to fight the forces of evil. We take the evil-est of villains we have in lockup...and send them out to do some good.
Noah: That's ridiculous!
Angela: Well, it's happening whether you like it or not...and you're buying my dinner. I wasn't able to finish all 72 ounces of the Steak Challenge...ugggh...I need to lie down.
Peter cocks his gun and shoots some cans on a fence.
Can: OH MY GOD! GERALD! HELP! SOMEONE JUST SHOT MY HUSBAND!
Peter: Uh oh.
Peter runs away in a panic.
Angela: The first one is Peter, code name "Deadshot", he never misses. If he only had one bullet left, the names of every person who wronged him would be on it.
Noah: How...how would that even be possible?
Angela: He...he would have them stand very close to each other in a line, I DON'T KNOW! SHUT UP!
Edgar enters a building, he fluffs his large trench coat and approaches the counter.
Edgar: I'm here to pick up my order.
The clerks give him two sticks.
Edgar: These are supposed to be boomerangs.
Clerks: Those ARE boomerangs.
Edgar: They're...just sticks.
Clerks: Aren't boomerangs just sticks that have been thrown enough?
Edgar: …...Hmm, never thought of it like that. How much do I owe you?
Angela: Edgar, also known as "Captain Boomerang"...if he had one Boomerang left, the names of every person who wronged him would be on it.
Noah: You can't use the same tag line as the last guy!
Angela: Fine. Captain Boomerang...every Boomerang he throws...ALWAYS...COMES...BACK.
Noah: That's what Boomerangs are supposed to do!
Angela: MOVING ON!
Angela shows a file of Niki.
Angela: "The Killer Croc" is a force to be reckoned with.
Noah: SHE...is The Killer Croc?
Angela: Yeah, she was supposed to be Harley Quinn...then there was something about how Matt stole all her Skin Lotion because he thought it was Toaster Strudel Frosting and her skin dried out and turned into scales...or something?...I don't know or care.
Noah: Uh huh...
Angela: Then we have "El Diablo". They call him "The Brave Little Toaster".
Noah: Because he sets things on fire?
Angela slides over a picture.
Noah: Oh...it's actually THE Brave Little Toaster. The talking toaster from that depressing kids movie? Okie dokie then...Seriously...that movie is so depressing...
Angela: MOVING ON! And finally we have...Harley Quinn.
Noah is watching The Brave Little Toaster on a phone.
Noah: Just how I remember it, this movie just bums me out.
Angela: Give me back my phone!
In a cell, Elle has an annoyed look on her face. She looks over at Claire, who looks over at Matt. They're all dressed up as Harley Quinn.
Matt: Well, we obviously have a problem here. You two are going to have to find new roles in the movie.
Claire: US!?
Elle: Yeah, we were here first.
Niki bangs on the cage.
Niki: I was supposed to be Harley Quinn first, you morons!
Matt: Oh, and Niki, I have a bone to pick with you. That crap was NOT frosting. Edible...I would go as far to say it was even tasty...but it WASN'T frosting. You have some nerve!
Niki: Bone to pick with me!? ME?! You better pray you don't come out of that cage.
The four of them argue and scream at each other.
Angela has her new team mates assembled.
Angela: Alright, you turkeys! You will follow the orders of THIS man. Nathan Flag.
Nathan: That's right. And I'll be assisted by this swords expert...Swordsy Von Stabslash
Hiro: I have a name, you know! And with this blade...I only have one left...and it has the names of all the people who wronged me on it. I will seek vengeance!
Angela (grumbling): I came up with that first.
A helicopter flies down, a mysterious man ropes down and hangs from above.
Sylar: Greetings! I am THE Joker...and you all must be the "Suicide FLAWED"...Get it? It's a play on words...from "Squad"...it's a joke.
Angela: We get it! What do you want?
Sylar: The hand and heart of my sweet beloved...Harley Quinn.
Elle and Claire stand up, Matt shoves them both aside as he runs toward the helicopter.
Claire: AHH!
Elle: OW! I landed on my bat!
Matt: I'm here, my love!
Sylar (waving his foot): No! I want one of the other ones. SHOO!
Matt: Take me! My sweet baboo!
Matt leaps up and grabs hold of Sylar's torso.
Sylar: AHH! LET GO!
Matt: Never! Our love is true!
They scramble on the rope and yell at each other as the others on the ground exchange looks. The helicopter eventually runs out of gas and starts spinning out of control, crashing into the ground.
Later, at the Hospital. Sylar is in a full body cast.
Matt: I can't help but feel that this is somehow Claire's fault.
The Doctor walks in.
Doctor: Good to see you again, Mr. Parkman. I see you decided to switch faces back with Miss Sanders here.
Niki: Oh, YOU were responsible for that? Is your car currently in the parking lot? I need to do things to it.
Doctor: Well, Mr. Gray is in pretty bad shape.
Matt: There's only one thing we can do...Doc...we have to switch faces.
Doctor: I'll put the order in.
Niki: Is that what you did last time?! I should be owning this hospital by now.
Niki walks into the living room to see Matt looking at his new Sylar face in the mirror.
Matt: How do I look?
Niki: You look stupid.
She leaves.
Matt: Yeah...Stupid Hot!...I can't wait to take this out on the town.
He leans back to yell.
Matt: I'm going out! Don't wait up!
Niki (from the bedroom): YOU DON'T LIVE HERE!
Matt opens his date book.
Matt: I'm going to have to reschedule this for tomorrow. Tonight I have to show everyone my new and sexy face.
Matt writes in the book for tomorrow:
Previously On Heroes...
Hiro awakens in the reborn universe. Everything is frozen in time.
Hiro: Not good.
Hiro (to Peter): Someone must have not made it back from the alternate timeline.
Niki and Bob and in the afterlife, Nathan and Elle are hunting them down.
Hiro: I'm going to put myself in "Death Mode", you must revive me in 6 hours. Stay here with Mohinder.
Peter: Right! (He runs off)
Claire: Peter! Some woman just tried to kill you!
Peter: We have bigger things to worry about. Matt's become a villain and is locked up in prison. As someone who sits on her butt all day and binge watches Law and Order; You, Claire Bennet, are the only one who can save him.
Claire: AND Rizzoli and Isles...not sure how that helps us...just wanted to mention it...have you seen it?
Peter: Of course I've seen it! Don't be ridiculous!
Elle: So...the only way Nathan and I can go back is to send you, Niki, and my dad into the beyond?
Niki: And likewise for you.
Bob: But I think we...Niki and Myself...have to go back. It's like what Benjamin said...if we all didn't make it back, it could mess up the new universe.
Hiro (being chased by the Gatekeeper): You don't understand! If I don't being those two back with me, time will cease! Death will not happen.
Niki: Who are you supposed to be anyway? Where did this place come from?
Gatekeeper: This place was created due to an anomaly resulting in the death of Emile Danko.
Hiro: He died in the Canon Universe but also died in ours...I guess that wasn't supposed to happen since nobody dies on this show.
Gatekeeper: He manifested powers and created a bridge between life and death. But it consumed him. As raw energy and power, I need a host...in the meantime I've conjured this human form.
Niki: Because THAT makes sense.
Gatekeeper: You may all go back into your world. This world is starting to fall apart.
He grabs Nathan's wrist.
Gatekeeper: But as promised...you will need to take my power, Nathan Petrelli. You will now be known as the Harbinger of Death.
Nathan: I've been called worse.
Peter unfreezes Mohinder and he resuscitates Hiro, the world resumes in motion.
Peter: Looks like you did it, Hiro.
Hiro: Yay! (Collapse)
Claire (on the phone with Noah): Hey dad!
Noah: CLAIRE!? Y...you're alive!? How is that possible? You have to come here, and quickly! Be careful.
Peter: Okay...let's go save Matt.
Peter and Claire make their way into the prison.
Peter and Claire
The Prison
In the cafeteria, dessert today is J-A-I-L-O...JAILO!? That's just stupid. Who wrote that?!
The double doors open as Claire and Peter walk into the main hall of the complex.
Peter: Um...can we just...walk in like this?
Claire: It's okay, they know me here. Margaret! Bobby!...Hey Madison!...Jimmy!...Uh oh...here comes Adam!...Jaime! HI!...Girl, you are looking so good.
Peter: You actually know these people?
Claire: No, I'm just shouting out names. It's called "blending in". I don't think it's working.
Peter: That would explain why they're giving us dirty looks.
A warden comes up to them.
Warden: Can I help you two? Who let you in here anyway...?
He looks at Claire.
Warden: And you look REALLY familiar.
Peter: We're here to see Matt Parkman.
Warden: What's your relation to Mr. Parkman?
Peter: I'm his father, you see...and this here is my daughter. They're twins. And we're here because we're a family. And that's the most important thing in the world.
Stay tuned to NBC. And catch the critically acclaimed drama everyone's talking about. "This Is Heroes".
Peter (in hospital scrubs, holding his wife's hand): It's gonna be okay. We're going to get through this pregnancy.
Matt (in a brown wig...super pregnant): I CAN'T! There's too many babies! I think it really is a litter this time!
Niki waddles in, also super pregnant.
Niki: What the HELL do you think you're doing?!
Matt: Hosting a cooking show, what does it look like!? AHHHHHH! One of them is doing cartwheels!
Peter (clutching his hand): That's so gross, but you're doing great!
Niki: I'm supposed to be the mother here! Not you! Do you know how long it took the props department to cram all these babies into me?! Now get out of that bed, you look ridiculous! This is "Harley Quinn" all over again. I won't stand for it...mostly because I can barely stand.
Matt: Wait your turn, Preggo!
Niki tries to pull Matt out of the bed, he reaches underneath his blanked and pulls out a fake baby doll and smacks Niki with it.
Niki: Did you just smack me with your baby!? Oh, two can play at that game.
Niki pulls out one of her baby dolls and slaps Matt. They go back and forth slapping each other with babies, feathers are flying all over the place. One of the babies falls in Peter's lap.
Peter: Hey, little guy, welcome to the world. I think I'll name you..."Slappy".
Warden: …...
Peter: And here we are today. And everybody knows the flashbacks are totally canon to the official Heroes timeline.
Claire's eyes widen as she scrambles for her wallet.
Claire: AHHH! My driver's license says SLAPPY BENNET! What the hell did you do, Peter?!
Peter: Just retelling the story of the greatest day of my life.
Claire: Why did I have to be Slappy!? Is this a "Matt and Niki trade faces thing?" Don't tell me this is permanent!
Peter: Now, Slappy, don't you take that tone of voice with me, young lady.
Claire: You're not my dad!
Warden: Are you two done?!
Peter: YES! I'd like to see my son now please.
Claire: Ugh...
The Warden, Peter and Claire get on an elevator and make their way down. They arrive on the floor with the sign that reads: "Welcome To...
Chapter Fifteen "Hiro Reborn"
Warden: Ten Minutes.
Peter and Claire make their way to Matt's cell. He's sitting in the corner.
Peter: Matt! Hey Matt!
Matt: Holy crap! Hey!
Matt scrambles to his feet and runs over to them.
Matt: Man, Peter am I glad to see you.
Matt takes a look at Claire.
Matt: Hey, Slappy.
Claire: I'm leaving.
Claire storms off. Peter runs after her.
= = =HEROES= = =
Hiro Nakamura
Mohinder's Mind Palace
Totally Not Ripped Off From Sherlock.
Hiro: He totally ripped that off from Sherlock!
Hiro slides out of bed and walks into the living room to see Mohinder reading.
Mohinder: Ahh! Hiro! It's good to see you up and around.
Hiro: Yeah...so, looks like everything is back to normal. I guess Niki and Bob made it back to the living...even though they're supposed to be dead.
Mohinder: Yes, I know...fortunately you talk in your sleep so I'm caught up on everything that happened to you in the alternate timeline future and afterlife world.
Hiro: Well, that's convenient.
Mohinder: But I find it fascinating that Elle Bishop and Nathan Petrelli were also there as well. I'm assuming they made it back with you.
Hiro: I passed out not long after coming back...did nobody come back with me?
Mohinder: No. When they came back they probably just took over the bodies of those who were already in this universe. Then the ones who weren't supposed to be here I'm sure we're just placed somewhere.
Hiro: Yeah I...wait...what do you mean "replaced the bodies of those who were already...in this universe"?
Mohinder: Hmm?...Oh...about that. Come here for a second.
Hiro walks over to his computer.
Mohinder (pointing at the screen): See all these lines of computer code?
Hiro: Yeah...it's like The Matrix!
Mohinder: Um...sure...all these lines...are a different universe. I can track these with the program I created...
Hiro: Because of course you can.
Mohinder: This little line riiiiiiiiiiiight here...that's us.
Hiro: How...?...But this Universe is Reborn. We were an alternate universe that split from the Canon Universe that ended.
Mohinder: Yup...that's that line right there...see where the line of code gets a little glitchy at the end. That represents when the universe..."stopped".
Hiro: And, we were our own universe...amongst many others...but it ended.
Mohinder: Yup again...that's this line right here.
Hiro: But if we created a new universe...how did we replace people here?
Mohinder: Well...we'll touch base on that. You see "This" line...
Hiro: Yeah.
Mohinder: That's the "Second Canon Universe".
Hiro: There's a Second Canon Universe?!
Mohinder: Yes...but unfortunately it ended as well. We would have just dropped into a new universe, fresh, clean slate. But since a Second Canon popped up...when it ended, we ended up just creating a new one and splitting a copy of that one. So there will be some memories and events that will be remembered and recalled.
Hiro: ….just like last time...It's history repeating itself.
Mohinder: That's right. You're catching on to this much quicker then anything I ever tried explain to Matt or Niki. I still have their dumbfounded drool spots all over my desk.
Hiro: So...we're just another alternate universe of the Second Canon Timeline...what happens if we have another canon universe crash like last time?
Mohinder: I don't think we'll have to worry about that for a looooooong while.
Hiro: That didn't answer my question. Ugh...this is too much science for me to handle for one day...uggggh...
Mohinder: HEY! No drooling on the desk!
Back at The Prison. Peter and Claire are standing in front of Matt's cell.
Peter: So, start from the beginning, what happened?
Matt: I remember being in the future with you, Peter, and the others. When Hiro teleported us out, next thing I know I had a gun in my hand, holding up a bank! It just wasn't like me, you know...banks and money...you know I don't like to count!
Peter: It's true. What do you think would cause you to do this?
Matt: I'm remembering things that...just don't sound right. I have these memories of trying to get back with my ex-wife, Janice, and that fell through and I just went crazy...I remember this...but I don't remember doing it...if that makes sense.
Peter: It doesn't make sense. Which means we're on the right track!
Claire: So how do we bust them out of here?
Warden: HEY! YOUR TEN MINUTES ARE UP! Make your way back to the elevator.
Claire: Damn. We probably shouldn't have spent so much time arguing over me being renamed "Slappy Bennet". Don't worry, Matt, we'll find a way to get you out of here.
Peter and Claire walk out of the prison.
Peter: What should we do now?
Claire: I think it's time we should talk to the Missus. Let's Law and Order ourselves over that way.
Peter: Sounds like a plan.
-Duhn! Duhn!-
The Law Offices Of Parkman And Associates
New York, New York
Saturday, August 16th
Peter and Claire get out of the car, both sporting trench coats.
Claire: Did you HAVE to get the same color coat as me? Turn yours inside out.
Peter: I can't, I have food stains.
Claire: How did you get food stains on the INSIDE of your coat?
Peter: I'm a fancy eater.
Peter and Claire are waiting in Janice's office. Peter crosses his right leg over his left.
Claire: UGH! Now you're copying my leg crossing?
Peter: Is...is that even a thing?
Claire: YES! We can't just show up wearing the same trench coat and have the same legs crossed over the other. We'll look like weirdos! Uncross your legs!
Peter: No way. I'm comfortable like this. It gives me a "I'll listen to what you have to say but I could be doing better things" demeanor.
Claire: Fine...
Claire uncrosses her leg and flips her left leg over her right. Peter follows suit.
Claire: REALLY!?
Peter: I can't decide which leg I like better crossed over the other one.
Claire: Well, pick one and stick with it!
Claire crosses her legs the other way again, soon her and Peter start crossing and uncrossing their legs over and over. Janice stands behind them, confused.
Janice: Is...there a problem here?
Claire and Peter both shoot to their feet.
Claire: Janice! Hey...I'm Claire. This is Peter.
Peter: Hello.
Janice: I...remember you two. Aren't you friends of Matt's?
Peter: Well, I'm actually his and this one's (points at Claire) father. Their twins you see. You should watch our lives unfold on NBC in the critically acclaimed drama...
Claire: NO! (She clamps his mouth shut). Yes, we're friends of Matt's.
Janice: Well, I'm sure he's in prison now after that bank stunt. He's really gone off his rocker.
Peter: That's the thing we wanted to talk to you about. What exactly caused him to react this way?
Janice: Well...I've been turning my life around. Went back to school and passed the BAR. Now I have my own Law Firm. Me and his son Matt Jr. have been doing pretty well.
Claire (to Peter): I didn't know Matt had a son.
Peter (to Claire): Yeah, let's not let on that we know or we could owe her back birthday presents. She's a lawyer, you know.
Janice: Two years worth but that's besides the point. He wanted to patch things up and...was acting weird and doing some pretty crazy things. I...didn't want him involved with mine or Matt Jr.'s life so...he kinda lost it.
Claire (to Peter): This doesn't sound like Matt AT ALL.
Peter: We're in a new Universe now...I don't really get it either. We may have to talk to Mohinder about this.
Claire: Wait...let's think of something else.
Peter: We don't have time.
Janice: Did...you need anything else?
Peter: Listen, this may be hard to believe but...you know we have...'abilities'...right?
Janice: Yes, everyone does. I saw (pointing to Claire) you leap to your death on the news. I also knew about Matt's ability.
Claire: Oh crap, that's right. The world knows about our powers now.
Peter: You have to understand...the Matt in prison now...isn't the same Matt who you knew.
Janice: He isn't?
Peter: No...it's kind of a very long story how we've been jumping through an alternate universe...but I can assure you he's not the same man.
Janice: Oookay...even if you're right, what do you want me to do about it?
Claire: You're a lawyer. Can't you plead his case?
Janice: I'm a Prosecution Attorney, that and our relationship would be a conflict of interest. So I can't. But I may know someone who can.
Janice hands them a card.
Claire: Uh...
Peter: I'll rev up the "Law and Order Mobile"
-Duhn! Duhn!-
Downtown Law Offices
New York, New York
Saturday, August 16th
Peter and Claire are sitting in an office, crossing their legs over and over.
Claire: Stop it!
West: Claire?!
Claire gets up and sees West, dressed up in a suit.
West: Wow, Claire, it's been a long time! How have you been?
Claire: Good...a lot of strange things have happened. You're a lawyer now.
West: That's right. Fresh out of Lawyer School...just call me "Harvey Dent"!
Claire: …...
West: From...Batman...
Claire: I know who Batman is, West...His real name is Harvey Dent.
Claire looks back to Peter who gives her a "thumbs up". She turns back to West.
Claire: Anyway...well...you see, Matt Parkman...?
West: Yes...I heard. Poor guy...kinda went nuts.
Claire: You have to understand, that's not him. We've been hopping through different universes and we're now at this one.
West: I do...kinda vaguely remember something about trying to rescue you from a carnival...but that's starting to escape me. I believe you though...though that'll be hard to prove in court. Even if our powers are now exposed.
Claire: We need to get him out of prison.
West: Have you thought about...I don't know...Teleporting him out? I mean...not like I'm trying to avoid being paid but that seems like the easiest option.
Peter: We need to do this legally.
West: Then you came to the right guy. I'm on the case. I'll drum up the paperwork and call you when I'm ready to meet with Matt...and next time, I won't have chairs. You two have been crossing and uncrossing your legs this entire conversation and it's weirding me out.
Claire: Well, tell him to stop copying me!
Peter and Claire make their way out of the law firm and back to the car...which explodes.
KABOOOOOOOOOM!
The force of the blast send Peter and Claire into the side of a building.
Claire: UH...OW!...
Peter: Oh...my bones...I'm not supposed to get explosions in them.
The mysterious woman walks up to Peter and Claire.
Peter: We didn't pay the parking meter, did we?
The woman smacks the butt of her gun in Peter's face, knocking him out.
Elsewhere, Hiro and Mohinder step out of a Taxi. They are in front of a Resort Hotel made entirely out of gold.
Mohinder: So...This is...a Hotel made of gold...the narrator already said that, not sure why I needed to repeat it.
Hiro: I need to see if the others are okay and made it back safely. Apparently Bob Bishop owns this hotel...I suppose it being entirely made of gold is kinda of a giveaway.
Mohinder and Hiro walk into the Golden Hotel, and up to the front desk.
Clerk: Hi! Welcome to The Golden Palace! Do you have a Golden Reservation?
Mohinder: How much does it cost to stay here?
Clerk: "Poor Rooms" start at $75,000 a night, and the prices go up from there.
Mohinder: I feel faint.
Hiro: We need to speak to the Manager.
Clerk: Sure. Second elevator to your left.
Hiro: Thanks!
Hiro and Mohinder make their way to the elevator. They get in and see hundreds of buttons to choose from.
Hiro: Yeesh! How many floors is this thing?
Mohinder: I'm going to safely assume his office is on the top floor, just hit the highest button.
Hiro: It wants me to swipe my card.
Mohinder: You have to PAY to go to another floor?! That's ridiculous!
Hiro: Mohinder, the price to keep this place open is expensive. They have to charge what they can.
Mohinder: Well, I'm certainly not paying.
Hiro: Fine.
Hiro swipes his card. The elevator moves half an inch up.
Hiro: Well, I'm broke.
Mohinder: Can you just teleport us up there for crying out loud!
Hiro: Oh, right.
ZAP!
Bob: Hiro! It's good to see you!
Hiro: Glad you made it out of the afterlife, Bob. I'm on a never ending quest to make sure everyone made it out okay.
Bob: Well, it appears I'm doing very well in this universe. Elle on the other hand...she's...not doing so well.
Hiro: What happened?!
Bob: She's...lost her way...and joined a Biker Gang.
Hiro: Awww...I want to ride a motorcycle.
Bob: Her and her gang of bikers run through and terrorize the city. I just can't get through to the girl.
Hiro: We haven't been back THAT long and she's already in a Biker Gang?
Bob: She's the leader.
Mohinder leans over to whisper to Hiro.
Mohinder (whispering): They should call themselves the "Elle's Angels". Hee hee...
Bob: They call themselves..."The Elle's Angels".
Mohinder: Oh, well nevermind. So much for me trying to make a funny.
Bob: They're holding up an Ice Cream shop later today.
Hiro: How do you know this?
Bob: She posts everything on Facebook.
Mohinder: Who outlines their future crimes on Facebook!?
Hiro: Then I know what we must do. Mohinder...it's up to us to bring Elle Bishop back to the Light Side of The Force!
Mohinder: Well, let's make it quick. I have term papers to grade.
Hiro: You teach?
Mohinder: Of course! I AM a Professor, after all.
Hiro: How many students do you have?
Mohinder: It's not about HOW many students...it's about the quality and mentality of the student. He alone and his brilliant mind can bring our world to exciting, new places.
Hiro: …...it's you, isn't it. You're the student.
Mohinder: And the student...has surpassed the master.
Hiro: Who was the Master?
Mohinder: …..Me, of course!
Hiro: I meant, who was the Master before you surpassed him?
Mohinder: I've always been the Master.
Hiro: But...I thought you were the student?
Mohinder: I am also the student.
Hiro: YOU CAN'T BE BOTH!
Mohinder: I most certainly can. There are always new things to learn in this world of ours!
Hiro: Then you're not the Master! The Master already knows everything...that's what makes him the Master!
Mohinder: I already know everything...but I still have things to learn.
Hiro: It doesn't work like that! Oh, forget it. I'm teleporting without you.
Mohinder: Wait! I can't afford to go back downstairs!
Peter wakes up tied to a chair with Claire. He gets water splashed in his face.
Peter: ACK! Bleh...I was already awake!
Peter sees the mysterious woman in front of him.
Peter: AHH! It's you! Claire! Wake up!
Peter slings his head back, banging into the back of Claire's head.
Claire: OW! I was already awake!
Peter: It's the woman who tried to kill us again!
Claire: Lady, seriously?! Who are you? What do you want with us!?
Woman: I'm making the world right again. Our world was better off before your kind infected it.
Peter: Our kind?...Whatever do you mean? I'm just the father of twins on a hit NBC TV Series...
Claire: She's talking about our powers, Peter.
Peter: Oh, right.
Woman: Because of you...because of these...powers...my son. My poor son...he also has these powers...and its YOUR fault.
Claire: WHAT?! Why? We didn't give him powers!
Peter: Yeah...blame the moon or whatever...You know...the Eclipse?
Claire: I don't think the moon gave us our powers. Maybe they did...who knows anymore?
Peter: That sounds like a Mohinder question.
Claire: NOPE! Listen, Lady...
Woman: It's Joanne.
Claire: Okay, Joanne. Why are you hunting down people with powers if your son also has powers? If he's one of us you should embrace that.
Joanne: After your silly Carnival stunt!? Powers are exposed, he'll always be a target and feared by others. And only you are to blame for that, Claire Bennet!
Peter: And...my role in all this is...?
Claire: Thanks for leaving me under the bus, Peter.
Peter: Anything for my baby girl...I love you, Slappy.
Claire (to Joanne): Kill him first.
Joanne: Well, you can't die apparently...so maybe I will. I'll just need to go get my special bullet. It has the names of every person who has ever wronged me on it.
Peter: She totally stole that from our Suicide Squad bit! Is there's no low this woman won't sink to!?
Claire: Wait, how did you even find us anyway?
Joanne: I got a little help...I know someone who can find ANYONE on the planet...very handy actually.
Claire: GASP!
Claire whispers to Peter.
Claire: She must be talking about Molly!
Peter: Now Molly's a bad guy?! First Matt is evil, West is a Lawyer, now Molly's evil!? What is going on in this wacky world? We have to get out of here!
Claire: Oh...I guess she left...I think she was serious about that bullet...WAIT! Peter! What power do you still have?
Peter: I...think I still have teleport. I don't know why we weren't using that instead of wasting gas in the Law and Order Mobile.
Claire: Then teleport us out of here! We have to save Matt...and now we have to figure out why Molly is helping this hypocritical wackadoodle!
Peter: Got it! And away!
Peter grabs Claire's hand and they teleport away back to Mohinder's.
Peter: Hello! Anybody here?
Claire: They LEFT?! That's just rude...aaaand we teleported the chairs with us.
Peter: To the kitchen for a cutting utensil.
Peter and Claire start hopping in the tied chairs to the kitchen.
Claire: This is taking forever! Just teleport us to the kitchen!
Hiro and Mohinder enter the ice cream shop. A very large lady blocks their path.
Hiro: Oh, hello. Um...(reads her name badge)...Barb! I'm Hiro Nakamura and this is Professor...
Mohinder: Master...
Hiro: PROFESSOR...Mohinder Suresh. We need to speak with your Queen!
Barb: You're name AIN'T on the list.
Hiro: Can we...put...our names on the list?
Barb: Yeah...it'll cost ya!
Hiro: But I spent all my money in the Hotel made of Gold! I'm super broke!
Barb: Sign this...
Barb presents them with a clipboard...Hiro and Mohinder sign their names.
Barb: Welcome to the Elle's Angels. Here are your jackets. Now get inside, schmucks!
Hiro: How do they already have jackets with our names stitched on them. That was fast.
Mohinder: Wait...DID WE JUST JOIN A BIKER GANG?!
Hiro and Mohinder are sitting on bar stools as Elle is making Ice Cream cones.
Elle: I see you joined my club. But rest assured...it ain't all fun and games and Ice Cream here...
Hiro looks around to see members of the club playing board games and eating ice cream.
Hiro: It kinda looks like there's nothing but fun and games and ice cream here.
Elle: Damn straight! But don't forget...biking is serious business. If you can't do the crime, then don't do the time.
Mohinder: I...uh...what?
Hiro: Elle, I'm glad to see you're...doing well?...Me and Mohinder here are on a never ending quest to make sure everyone made it out okay from the afterlife.
Elle: I'm good...more than good.
Mohinder: Your father seems concerned about...all this.
Elle: We make do with what we can...just took over this ice cream shop...it's our new home. At least until we move into our new place.
Mohinder: Which is...
Elle: …..The Golden Hotel...we're taking it over.
Hiro: But...that's your dad's business!
Elle: He's gone mad with his gold making...he runs that business...paying his workers squat and charging customers out the wazoo...it's up to me to smack some sense into his head.
Hiro: Yeah...maybe I can get the $4,000 charged to my credit card back.
Mohinder: That half an inch we moved in the elevator cost you $4,000 dol...ugh...I feel faint again.
Back at Mohinder's.
Peter: Well, I'm glad we got out of those chairs. That woman uses very abrasive rope.
Claire: I'm pretty sure our comfort wasn't on her priority list.
Claire looks at her cell phone.
Claire: It's West...looks like the trial is going to happen.
Peter: Good!
Claire: …..Right now.
Peter: WHAT!? Already? That was fast.
Claire: We need to get down to the courthouse.
Peter: But the Law and Order Mobile blew up...and that wasn't even my car!
Claire: Then we'll have to teleport!
Peter: Just like REAL Detectives!
Duhn! Duhn!
The Courthouse
New York, New York
Saturday, August 16th
Peter and Claire leave the women's restroom.
Claire: Are we a little rusty with the teleporting?
Peter: Yeah, I need some practice.
Claire: I'll say. Ugh...I ended up in the toilet now both of my shoes are soaked! Gross!
Peter: The trial is about to start, we need to hurry.
Claire and Peter run out of the bathroom. Claire's shoes squeaking loudly from being drenched with toilet water.
Peter: That squeaking is really loud!
Claire: It's not my fault. You could have landed me outside of the toilet.
Random Person: SHHH!
Claire: WHO JUST SHUSHED ME?!
Peter and Claire make their way into the courtroom. West is preparing his papers.
West: Guys, don't worry. If anybody can get Matt off the hook...it's me.
They turn to the sound of opening doors to see Janice walk in.
West: You may have to resort to the whole teleporting thing.
Claire: OH MY GOD! IT'S JANICE!
Peter: Your shoes are leaking everywhere.
Janice: Oh, hello West...Peter, Claire...
Claire: Janice!? You're the Prosecution Attorney?!
Janice: Yes, I told you that in my office.
Claire: You said you wouldn't defend Matt because it would be a conflict of interest!
Janice: Yes...it would conflict with the fact that I'm a Prosecution Attorney. Maybe if you would have paid attention instead of spending the entire time crossing your legs over and over and...oh my god, you're still doing it!
Claire and Peter stop crossing their legs.
Janice: West...you're pretty new to the scene. So let me warn you...I'm going to destroy you.
West: It's not always about winning Janice.
Claire: Uhh...
West: Well...in court it is.
Peter: What's going to happen now?!
West: Oh, she's right. She's ruthless, this case is going to bomb. Hard.
Claire: Well, that's just great! Now what do we do?!
West: Get the Mayor to sign a pardon...free him of his crimes.
Claire: Is that a thing?
West: I guess...or get a Therapist to claim him legally insane.
Peter: Is Mohinder a Therapist?
Claire: No...he is a Professor Doctor-ish though...me MIGHT be able to help.
-Hypothetical-
Mohinder: If it may please the court...and it will...I present to you...this portrait of Space...this little dot right here I like to refer as..."Mohinder's Star".
Claire: OH GOD! What am I saying! He'll get ALL of us thrown in the insane asylum! Peter, we have to talk to the Mayor!
West: It should be a breeze, seeing how it's your mom and all.
Peter: My mother's the mayor?!
Claire: Peter...Matt had a good run.
Peter: Nonsense! My mother adores me. She'll gladly present a pardon to an unhinged telepath who held up a bank, endangering the lives of many and doesn't remember it. She was in the future with us...surely she'll understand that's not the same Matt.
Claire: I guess. Well, good luck West. I know you'll do your best.
West is packing up his things.
West: Hm? Oh, the case is already over. He was found guilty and will be sentenced to death. So if you want that Mayoral pardon you best be making with the haste.
Claire: What is this, Court-Express!? Why is everything so damn fast!?
Claire realizes she's talking to a totally different lawyer and the court has moved on to another case.
Claire: Let's just go.
Peter and Claire make their way into Mayor Angela Petrelli's Office. They see Niki at a desk.
Peter: Niki! You made it out okay!
Tracy: Actually...it's Tracy.
Claire: Tracy Strauss? We haven't seen you since...
Tracy: Barbara's funeral where I got benched after the writers gave me every power imaginable before settling me back down to "Ice Stuff". What in the world happened to you two?!
Peter: Oh, Claire destroyed the universe after outing our powers and we were in the future fighting Linderman's ancestor then ended back in a reborn universe frozen in time where Hiro had to go into the afterlife to rescue Niki and Bob Bishop to restore balance to the world.
Tracy: Uhhhh...okay then. But..."Niki from the afterlife"?
Peter: Yeah. It was necessary in order to restore balance to the world. Since she died once before in a different universe. She's alive in this one.
Tracy: I'm...fairly certain she's dead.
Claire and Peter look at each other.
Peter: But...the world is restored. She has to be alive.
Tracy: Um...that might explain something...come with me.
Tracy, Peter and Claire walk into the restroom. They look in the mirror to see the reflection of Niki staring back at them.
Mirror Niki: Hey guys.
Peter: Wha...
Claire: Huh?
Tracy: Things...are kinda different now...but in a way it's gone back to the old way.
Mirror Niki: Yeah...I guess I'm dead after all. Tracy and I are the same person now...
Claire: Does this mean...you can...switch?
Tracy: Yeah...but only by looking through mirrors, Niki can become me and I change into her reflection.
Peter: But...but...that was something that was in her head...how are we seeing and hearing the reflection?
Mirror Niki: I don't know...maybe some weird Universe loophole because I'm technically supposed to be alive...but I'm not.
Claire: Is Bob going through the same thing?
Peter: I don't know...we should see if Hiro knows anything.
Claire: Well, we have bigger problems...Matt's in trouble.
Mirror Niki: That doesn't surprise me in the slightest.
Peter: You don't understand! He turned evil...but now he's good because of all the weird universe jumping and he's innocent...if that makes sense.
Mirror Niki: Like anything makes sense around here.
Tracy: You want to see if Mayor Petrelli will pardon him?
Claire: Yes. He already lost the case in court. So we don't have a lot of time.
Tracy: Okay...I'll go see if I can get you in.
Tracy leaves...Peter and Claire slowly turn to see Niki's reflection still in the mirror.
Mirror Niki: Don't ask.
Peter: Okay.
Claire: So...she can get us to talk to Angela?
Mirror Niki: Yeah...she was Nathan's secretary at one point so she still works here.
Peter: Poor Nathan...too bad he's not alive in this universe.
Mirror Niki: Yeah...he's probably busy sending people to their deaths now that he's the Grim Reaper.
Claire: THE WHAT?!
Peter spits out the water that was in his mouth.
Claire: How did you do that? You weren't drinking anything.
Peter: I don't know...Niki, what are you talking about?!
Mirror Niki: Did Hiro not tell you? Elle and Nathan were in the afterlife too...they were able to come back with us but...ugh, it's a long, boring story...point is...Nathan is the Grim Reaper now. Who knows...try to stick around when someone kicks it, you might see him.
Peter: I...I...I don't know what to say to that.
Claire picks up her phone.
Claire: Crap...it's my dad. He wants to know where we are. We should probably swing by there real quick then come back.
Niki: Go...as much joy as it would bring me to have Matt locked up forever...I'll let Tracy know where you went. I'm sure she'll have no problem getting Matt out of there.
Peter: Okay...we'll leave it in her hands. Thanks, Niki. Alright, Claire...ready to go back?
Claire: Yeah...I don't see why he's in such a hurry. Let's go.
Peter puts a hand on Claire's shoulder and teleports out.
A man walks in and starts washing his hands.
Niki: BOO!
The man screams and runs out.
Niki: Hahahahaha...Ahhh, I can't wait to start freaking out Mohinder and Matt with that. Mohinder reciting his stupid monologues and Matt plucking his nose hairs WITH MY TWEEZER! UGH! I just remembered that! I need to switch bodies back as soon as I can...I owe that man a face punch.
Peter and Claire are back at The Bennet House in Texas. They are walking to the front door.
Mohinder (Monologue): A Universe Reborn...many things have changed. Many things haven't.
Tracy is walking Matt out of prison, they are surrounded by people booing.
Mohinder: Bound together...even through space and time. We find a way back to each other. Despite our differences.
Hiro and Mohinder (leather clad) stand dumbfounded in the lobby of the Golden Hotel while the Elle's Angels wreck havoc among the place. They exchange looks.
Mohinder: We still have one objective. Save the world...do what's best for the greater good.
West gets out of his car and walks into a Diner, he sees Janice sitting at the table.
West: Janice...
Janice: Thank you for agreeing to throw the case for me.
West: Why did you want me to do it? You know we both wanted to help him and there was no way I could use the "Alternate Universe" defense. You would have won anyway.
Janice: I needed the case to be over quickly...and I knew they would get The Mayor to release him from jail. Most importantly, I need you to be fired from your firm right about...
West gets a text message on his cell phone.
Janice: ….now.
West (looking at his phone): Wow...that is some very colorful language.
Janice: Come work for my firm. Together...I have an even bigger target I need to take down.
Janice slides an envelope over to him. He looks at it.
Janice: See you on Monday.
Janice walks out of the Diner. West looks at the case file.
Mohinder: We stay connected...no matter the cost.
A group of police are investigating a murder. Nathan, dressed in a black overcoat, slyly makes his way over to the body. He walks along beside it, one hand out over the body. A faint glow leaves it as Nathan continues walking on, disappearing into the shadows.
Mohinder: No matter how prepared we are...we are now in a reborn world. What the future brings now...we can only imagine.
Joanne goes back to her apartment. On her wall is a picture of the world map, on them are many pictures of people. Some notable are pictures of Peter, Claire, Matt, Elle, as well as others. The pictures are connected by string. Joanne pulls up an email from Molly on her phone and takes one of the strings and drags it over to Australia, where she pins the end of the string to a picture of Sylar on the map. Joanne exits her email on her phone and makes a call.
Joanne: Hello? Yes...I need to arrange a flight.
End Of Volume Ten
Volume Eleven "Rebirth"
Peter and Claire are in the front hall of The Bennet House. Noah walks up and gives Claire a hug.
Noah: Your mother and I are thrilled that you're not dead. I mean...I saw you die that day...so this...this is just incredible.
Claire: Again...weirded out. But...nope...very much alive.
Noah: It's kind of a long story...but...a little bit of time travel was involved.
Claire and Peter look at each other.
Noah: But...there is someone I want you to meet. Well...a couple of people actually.
Claire: Okay...
Claire walks with Noah into the living room to see...nobody.
Claire: Umm...are they here?
Noah: Well...no...not exactly.
Noah walks over and grabs two folders and brings them to Claire. He hands them to her.
Noah: Well...go ahead. Open it.
Claire opens the folders. One contains a picture of a teenage boy and one of a teenage girl.
Claire: …..What is this? Who are these people?
Noah: Well…...They're your children, Claire. We thought you died when you gave birth to them...so you never had the chance to meet them.
Claire: …...
Peter walks up, tears in his eyes.
Peter: Oh, Slappy...I'm so proud...I always wanted Grand kids. Kinda wished you would of held off until "May Sweeps"...but it's cool...the advertisers will understand...hopefully.
Claire stands there. A total loss for words.
Claire: What...is wrong...with this universe?
Noah: ….Did he just call you 'Slappy'? Your mother and I were wondering how that name appeared on your birth certificate.
Claire glares at Peter...then looks back at the pictures. She takes a huge breath and looks at Noah.
Claire: …..Let's meet 'em.
-End-