Author's Note: Sorry, for being gone so long. I never intended to abandon this story, I just had a massive stupid moment. I had been doing all my writing on my phone, and was getting frustrated that the word processing app I had didn't have spell check. So I found a new one I liked better and deleted the old one. I hadn't bothered to make back up copies of the chapters I had written (The story was nearly complete). Alas, when I deleted the old word processor, it deleted the folder it was in. The very same folder that contained every chapter that I had written. I tried for days to recover the files, but failed miserably. I was shattered, much like Ryoga's heart of glass and couldn't bring myself to rewrite so much at the time. I'm back now though, and keeping back ups in case stupidity strikes once more.
Magic and Mushrooms Ch 8
Ranma was directed down a hallway while Shampoo was detained at the front desk.
"It wouldn't have worked you know." The old midwife said conversationally once Ranma was out of earshot. "If you'd dragged her in here unconscious, we would never have done the procedure."
Shampoo looked away, ashamed of the simplicity of her plan, and miserable because she'd failed.
A hacksaw, that was the first thing Ranma saw as she entered the room at the end of the hallway. It was being wielded by a man standing near the bed. This can't be... She noticed that he was wearing a white coat, the clinic's name was embroidered on the breast pocket. Oh my god, he is... The man shook his head and put the hacksaw down. He picked up a power saw and nodded, seeming satisfied. Other various power tools cluttered the bedside table, and was that rust?
Ranma's aura flared to life, "Just whaddya plannin' ta use that for?" she yelled.
"Just gonna clear up an unwanted obstruction." He replied as the saw buzzed to life. Her eye twitched.
"It's probably best that we duck." The midwife said as she pulled Shampoo by the collar into a crouching position behind the front desk.
A split second later the front door to the clinic burst open, "Where is he?" an irate Ukyo asked, spatula at the ready.
"Get down, you foolish girl!" The midwife cried, but it was too late. Burning hot chi blasted through the clinic, throwing Ukyo off of her feet, throwing her backward and bashing her head into the wall. The spatula hit the floor with a loud metal clang.
Shampoo fixed the old midwife with an angry glare, her arms crossed over her chest, "You know Ranma no can go through with appointment while awake, not with such an aura. Is too too protective."
The old woman donned an innocent expression, "I gave her a choice dear, and she made it. Now, I'd best get back to work." She said dismissively as she pick up Ukyo's unconscious form and slipped into the back room.
Shampoo stomped her foot, but until her great grandmother could restore her strength, there was nothing she could do.
Iichiro had only stepped out for a short lunch break, but it seemed like quite a lot had happened in his absence. The examination room was in chaos, papers were strewn all about, the bed was flipped onto its side, and power tools littered the floor. Then there was the unconscious girl in his grandmother's arms and the near catatonic girl in the corner giving off the deadly, but rapidly fading, aura. "Grandmother?" he asked, after righting the bed.
"Yes Iichiro?" she replied as she laid Ukyo down on a comfy chair, meant for her client's spouses, to rest. It was a nasty bump on her head, but the girl would be fine. She turned to Ranma, who was in the corner on her knees, arms wrapped defensively around her abdomen. "Shh, shh." As gently as she could, she coaxed Ranma to rest in her arms, picked her up and placed the now soundly sleeping girl on the bed.
Iichiro pointed at the floor, "Who is that and why is he wearing my coat?" Indicating the unconscious, injured man he had unearthed when he had righted the bed.
Looking down at man, she replied, "I hired a plumber, the pipe behind that wall is obstructed. He was supposed to cut it open and fix it, not sleep on the job." She replied with a sly grin, "As for your coat, I slipped and spilled coffee on him, I offered him your coat while his shirt dried. Clumsy me."
His eyes narrowed, "Ah, so the unusual case you were telling me about and the upcoming Martial Arts Midwifery tournament had nothing to do with it?"
"You wound me, grandson." She said with a feigned expression of hurt. Finally, she saw to the injuries of the poor plumber caught up in her scheming.
Ranma opened her eyes, looked up at the fluorescent lights and wondered where she was this time. It became obvious quite quickly that she was still in the midwifery clinic. The room had been cleaned up and put back to order, not a trace of the energy burst she had released remained. Ukyo was asleep in a chair in the corner. What is she doing here? Ranma wondered. Could it be that she knows? Panic welled up inside her.
"Relax my dear, the girl knows nothing of what is going on." Ranma turned to see the old midwife sitting at her bedside holding a book. "I take it you have come to a decision?" Ranma eyed Ukyo, not really wanting to reply with the other girl in the room. "She won't wake for at least another hour. That was quite a blow to the head she took."
"I can't do it. I mean, I didn't really want ta, but this is different. I physically can't. What is that battle aura? When I sense that the..." she took a deep breath to help her continue, "…baby is in danger, I lose all control, kinda like with Cat Fu."
Though she didn't let it show on her face, the midwife was surprised. She knew Cat Fu, truly this boy turned girl was a gem. "That is one of the most prized techniques of the Bear tribe, sister and rival tribe to the Amazons that you know. Legends say that our ancestors were bears that fell into the spring of drowned girl and took on human form. We became legendary and fierce warriors, envied by the Amazons for our unique ability to battle even while pregnant. In fact, we are at our strongest when we are protecting our young, for to this day we possess the fighting spirit of the Fierce Mama Bear. As young girls we are taught how to control the aura, hone it and make it our own. If one is not trained to control it however, they become a danger to anyone that should attempt to harm them or their children." The old woman explained.
That all made sense, except, "But I'm not from your tribe." Ranma stated.
The old woman's eyes gleamed, "There is one other way to become infused the fighting spirit of the Fierce Mama bear. I noticed while doing your exam the first time you were here, it is concentrated near your arm. You weren't by chance clawed by a bear were you?" She asked, though she already knew the answer. Ranma nodded in the affirmative. "And the bear was protecting her cub perhaps?" The old woman continued to prod.
"Yea." Ranma agreed, starting to get the idea.
"I imagine child, if you looked, you would have found a source of magical waters nearby. Only by being attacked by a magical mother bear, while pregnant, can one not of our tribe gain this deadly technique." The woman finished.
"The Ogopogo!" Ranma smacked her fist down on her open palm in understanding.
That put the final piece of the puzzle in place for the old woman. "I have heard of it. Yes, the waters near its resting place would be very magical indeed."
"You said there was a way ta control it?" Ranma asked, looking at Ukyo out of the corner of her eye. She hadn't asked for confirmation, but she was certain that her outburst had been the cause of the okonomiyaki chef's current condition.
The old midwife smiled on the inside, things were going exactly to plan.
It was several hours before Ukyo woke up, her head was aching, her neck was sore and her mouth way dry. The cause of her sore neck became obvious when she opened her eyes and found herself positioned uncomfortably in a chair. She stood and stretched her aching muscles. The room looked like an exam room, so she surmised that she must still be in the midwifery clinic.
"Awake are you? Just in time, we're closing." Ukyo turned to see a wrinkled old woman, not unlike Cologne sitting near her.
Jumping to her feet, she whipped out a handful of throwing spatulas and pointed them at the woman. "Are you the midwife? Tell me, is Shampoo pregnant?"
The old miwife's outline blurred momentarily, then Ukyo noticed that all her spatulas were in the woman's wrinkled hand. "You're 100 years too early to face me girl." Dropping the spatulas on the floor, she continued, "I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to. Doctor-patient confidentiality, you know." Having done her duty in seeing that the girl awoke safely, she pushed her out of the clinic and flipped the sign to read closed.
Never one to admit defeat, Ukyo decided that she'd just find the answer herself.
In the precarious safety of her bedroom, Ranma opened the book the old woman had given her.
"I will train you," The old woman had said, "but first you must know the very basics of pregnancy and childbirth." She had lifted a book from her lap, "Read this, when you are finished, return and we can begin."
Flipping through it, Ranma saw some diagrams that made her want to scream and run in the other direction. That can't be physically possible, can it? And why do I need to know all this to master a martial arts technique? Damn Old Bat! Taking a deep breath and clenching her fist, she flipped back to the first page. No book would defeat Ranma Saotome.
The forest had been formidable indeed. Ryoga had been lost for days. He struggled along, propping himself up on his umbrella turned cane. He was tired and he was hungry as he finally emerged from the trees. "Where am I now?" He wondered out loud. Surely he was miles from civilization, given how dense that forest had been...
Unseen by Ryoga, two children ran across the park. Each held a squirt gun.
"Pew pew!" Called the boy as he fired at his friend.
"Nah nah, you missed me!" The girl teased in return.
The two ran on, enjoying their day. Neither one of them spared a single thought to where that missed shot of water may have landed, or who it may have hit.
"Squee!"
Akane was out for a morning jog, working out her frustrations over the constant interference of, well, everyone, in her conversations with Ranma. It had been days and she still hadn't heard the big secret. It was like the whole family had some sort of sixth sense dedicated to depriving Akane of any time alone with Ranma. There had been no opening to talk together at school either, Kuno saw to that with his constant pursuit of the pigtailed girl.
"Squee!" She heard coming from the park.
Is that...? She turned the corner. "P-chan!" She scooped the black piglet up into her arms. "Where have you been?" Her mood improved dramatically. Her pet pig always lifted her spirits. "Let's get you home, my widdle baby."
Ranma took a deep breath and began her kata. The ritualistic movements soothed her frustration. Firstly, the information that had been filling her head about childbirth was making her nervous. She had known where babies came from of course, but somehow reading about it and knowing it would be her reality in the not-so-distant future was terrifying. She had come to accept that it would happen though. She kept the sonogram picture close at hand to remind her of the little heartbeat every time she had doubts, and she had them often. She was terrified of what everyone's reactions would be, especially Akane, well and her own mother of course. For what it was worth, and she knew it wasn't much, she had loved Akane. It was an awkward, angry and often spiteful love, but it had been love nonetheless. Which is why the guilt was still nagging at Ranma so strongly, but her mother had been preventing her from coming clean to Akane for days. Her guilt was weighing heavier and heavier on her with each day that passed. She had to wonder if her mother was keeping them apart on purpose, or if it was just really bad timing on her part.
It would be over soon though. Nodoka had announced her intent to depart after the evening's meal. It's not that Ranma hated her mother (she loved her, she really did), it's just that she didn't want to die a horrible, painful, self-inflicted death. Only only a few hours to go...
When her practice was finished she headed inside for a glass of water.
"You look like you haven't eaten in days, here." Akane was saying to someone.
Ranma turned the corner and saw Akane sitting at the table, holding P-chan in her lap. She was holding or a pair of chopsticks full of rice.
Ranma's eyes narrowed, little pig accepts attention from any girl that looks his way (hypocrite much?) "It's unsanitary ta feed pigs at the table." She snapped.
"I always feed him at the table." Akane insisted, then turned to P-chan again, "Here you go, open wide. I made it myself." She announced proudly.
The little pigs eyes opened comically wide and his legs flailed. "Squee squeeee!"
A huge grin graced Ranma's face and she crossed her arms over her chest. "Yes, piggie, eat up."
His little pig head Twisted back and forth in an obvious "no" motion.
Ranma sat next to Akane and picked up an extra set of chopsticks. "Come on, open wide for the yummy yummy rice." She said in baby talk.
Akane was looking at her like she'd gone crazy. "Since when are you nice to P-chan?"
The pig looked at her in disbelief at the use of the word 'nice', given that Ranma was trying to force him to eat Akane's cooking. "Squee!" He tried to argue with Akane.
An opening! Ranma used her Parlay du Foie Gras skills to shove the rice in his mouth while he squealed. The taste promptly knocked him out.
When Ryoga woke up he heard Nodoka asking for Akane's help in the kitchen.
"Yes, Mrs. Saotome." She replied obediently.
Akane's eyes lit up as she turned to Ranma, "Oh! I'll make you something extra special for dinner tonight, as a reward for getting along so well with P-Chan." She clapped her hands together in excitement before running off to the kitchen.
Ryoga made a snickering noise. He figured it was only fair that Ranma should eat Akane's food for dinner since she had forced the stuff down his throat earlier.
"Yeah yeah, yuk it up bacon bits. You'll still be here at dinner time." She pointed out, besides, Akane's cooking had improved dramatically recently (No, it really hadn't).
I hadn't thought of that... I suppose I have overstayed my welcome. He thought as he tried to sneak off.
Ranma grabbed him by the bandana on his neck. "I don't think so." She carried him up the stairs and into her room. She upturned a crate that had training equipment stored in it and used it as cage to keep him from escaping. He tried to break free, but she'd placed something very heavy on top.
She sat in front of the makeshift cage and looked at him. "How can you be so shameless?" She asked, "You just bask in the attention that any girl pays you? It's pathetic!"
Hey! That's my line! All those girls that were after you... "Squee squee squee!" Was what came out though.
"And what about Akari? Isn't she your," she spat the word like it was bitter, "fiancee?"
Ryoga shook his head, that was over.
"Hmph, whatever." Ranma pushed the crate over to the door. "Squeal if you hear anyone coming up the hall." She instructed, then she rummaged through a drawer and pulled out a book.
-Your First Pregnancy, What to Expect-
-Bear Tribe Edition-
She pulled out a bookmark, that Ryoga realized was the ultrasound photo, and started to read. She's really going through with this...
With nothing better to do, Ryoga observed her. As she flipped through the book, Ryoga took note of the way she was sitting, it was unusual. Typically when Ranma was in girl form she over compensated for her lack of manhood by using exaggerated body language, meaning as unfeminine as possible. Right now though, she looked relaxed and natural. She looked like a girl.
Something struck Ryoga then. He hadn't been paying attention to it at the time, but Ranma hadn't been using those exaggerated movements for a while now. No sitting with her legs wide, no wide legged stomping around, no arms stuck out and down at odd right angles. When did she stop? Does she know she's doing it?
Ranma's face turned bright red as she quickly flipped several pages. She must have read something embarrassing. She's cute when she's flustered...
Crap!
"Dinner's ready!" Nodoka's call rang through the house.
Ranma closed her book and buried it in her drawer again. It was the drawer that she used to store her girly costumes. She knew her father was too embarrassed to go through them, so it was the best hiding place.
Her anger forgotten, she picked Ryoga up from his cage and headed down the stairs. She didn't notice that she was absentmindedly petting him on the way. He noticed though and found it rather soothing. Ryoga was careful not to cuddle into her as he would have done with Akane, he didn't want her to realize what she was doing and stop.
Something crashed into her chest. "Ranma! How sweet it is!" Happosai cried. Then he realized he was not cuddling Ranma's bosom, but a little black pig that looked very angry.
"Get off me you Old Freak!"
"Squee squee squee!"
The old man stood on the table looking sad, tears leaked from the corners of his eyes as he wiped at them with a pair of silky white panties. "I only wanted to say hello to my favorite girls after a long trip from home."
It occurred to Ranma that he meant her breasts, "You are sick!" She cried as she leapt across the room to pummel the old perv.
"Now now, settle down." Nodoka demanded as she and Akane began to bring food into the room.
"For some of Nodoka's home cooking? How could I refuse?" He replied, dodging Ranma's attack as he sat at the table with the rest of the family.
"Actually, Akane helped." Nodoka responded.
Happosai paled, as did nearly everyone else at the table. "Err, well, I really just dropped in to say hello. I should be moving along again now." He muttered as he tried to stand.
Soun and Genma held him in place, determined to force Akane's cooking into him.
"Don't be in such a hurry to go master."
"Yes, after being away so long, it would be rude not to stay for dinner."
Ranma ignored the display. She would prefer it if the old letch never returned.
"Oh, Ranma, thank you for looking after P-chan." Akane was smiling and holding her arms out to receive her pet.
"Oh, uh, no problem." Ranma handed him over rather reluctantly.
An unexpected voice suddenly got everyone's attention. "Nihao Ranma, Shampoo has present for you."
Ranma had a very, very bad feeling and jumped from her seat. Just in time too, as a split second later, water splashed onto the spot where she'd been sitting.
"What the heck was that for?" Ranma shouted.
Shampoo held up a bucket of water and a ladle. "Shampoo bring instant Nannichuan water." She used the ladle to grab another scoop and splashed it at Ranma, who dodged just in time.
That crazy girl is gonna kill me! Ranma thought as she jumped aside again.