Chapter 19
As we left you last chapter...
~~OtA~~
BPOV
Suddenly, everything seemed to happen in slow motion. The only thing that Bella saw was a flash of red hair and then the gleam of a knife, heading toward Edward's chest...
Bella screamed. Security wasn't fast enough, but fortunately Edward was, blocking the knife from the woman's hand in a move akin to taekwondo. Then he did something she had never seen a man do to a woman before… he kicked her square in the Vajayjay.
Bella knew this tended to make men go down in a blaze of glory and interestingly, she discovered, a similar effect could be had upon the female of the species as well. The woman screamed out in pain, dropping the knife she had been wielding and decided to use her secondary weapon - her viper-like tongue.
"We're gonna fucking get you, you troglodyte. You're gonna wish you were never born. We know you're in Seattle, you dumb-as-shit fuck. You're gonna die, you asshat."
She lunged for Edward again, managing to do something that only kindergarteners do. She latched onto his wrist with her teeth. It took two security guards, who had obviously decided to give up on monitoring the donut stand, to finally subdue the unwelcome guest.
Bella breathed a sigh as Edward waved his hand to the crowd assuming the "I'm all right, crazy bitch didn't get me" posture. He wound up the show only a few minutes over the scheduled end of the program.
As the police arrived to double check the passes and identification of the crowd, Bella noticed that Edward was indeed bleeding from a particularly nasty looking cut on his upper right arm, as well as from the bite wound. They ferreted Edward into the conference room that they had been in earlier, which was now a makeshift triage.
She fretted in the corner of the room, biting her nails and trying not to dash across to Edward to check if he was okay. She had done basic first aid in Girl Scouts, but was doubtful that this meager knowledge would have been of any assistance. She hated blood anyway. It left an acrid lead smell in the air that she found unpleasant. Not that she would faint, but it was like when you opened a smelly dishwasher that was half full, you didn't exactly want to hang around the room inhaling it. It was a moot point as Rose was standing in front of her, looking like she would tackle her if she so much as took one step further into the room in Edward's direction.
Satisfied that Edward was getting the medical attention that he needed, she quietly skulked out of the room, tapping out a message to her Dodgy Romeo.
From: Juliette
To: Dodgy Romeo
WTF? Are you all right! I'm so sorry I couldn't come over to you. Mad karate skills, but next time...don't get your arm sliced by the frikkin' knife!
Call me when it's over. I'm assuming by the way Aro is salivating that you're going to be lined up doing talk shows all next week. He keeps saying something about "securing the security footage" which I think means he's going to sell this shit to the highest bidder. He's a douche. Just call me.
Did I mention that I want you to call me?
PS Do you need to have rabies shots or anything from that feral bitch biting you?
J
"That was surreal," Rose said, breaking Bella out of her self-imposed silence.
"Surreal is one word. Other words I can think of involve a truck load of swearing that you don't need to hear, lady."
"He's fine, they're going to have to stitch him up at the hospital. Aro looks like he's going to want to get footage rights for the suturing procedure as well. He is such a scum bag. His star gets hurt and the first person he calls is the PR guy at the station. The ambulance wasn't even called by him. There is a demented list of priorities in this guy's life."
"Edward hasn't said anything about him, but I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him."
"You throw like a girl, so you couldn't throw Aro very far at all."
"I do not throw like a girl. I have all my power in my legs. I could kick you back into next week with my pinkie toe if I didn't know you were just trying to cheer me up by distracting me by insulting my lack of physical prowess."
"Darling, if I wanted to distract you I would just scream out SHOE SALE!"
"Ooh that's true; I would totally be whipping my head around trying to find out where you saw the sign." Rose had put her arm around Bella and gave her a comforting squeeze.
"I love you Bells, he's gonna be okay." In fact, as they spoke, Edward was vehemently refusing to ride on the gurney that the paramedics were trying to strap him onto. Aro was actually encouraging Edward to use the gurney. Most likely as a publicity gimmick, she thought to herself. Asshat was a good word to describe him. Aro the Asshat.
Rose, Alice and Bella all returned to the hotel, where Alice insisted that they sit by the pool and start drinking overpriced cocktails. If not to ease the stress of the morning, then to get them warmed up for the evening.
The girls quickly changed and headed down the pool. Bella was deep in thought, not paying too much attention to her friends as they sipped on their first cocktail.
"...just let her have more time with him. It was like watching someone whose new kitten got run over. She likes him a lot for whatever demented reason..." Rose's voice cut into her reverie.
"I'm sorry, what are you two arranging?"
"We're arranging your love life. We're going to let you two have dinner together. But you have to be back in our room at 11:30 and we will go out just us girls after. That way, the four of us can ensure Aro is gone, or at least out of the way."
"I don't think Edward is going to be out of the sight of his security team."
"Of course he will be. Even that freak doesn't know who he really is. But it is a bit disturbing that she knew the Seattle studio was the one where the show is being transmitted from." It was now Rose's turn to bite her nails.
"We'll just stay in the hotel and order room service. It would be nice to do a normal date type thing without you two, or the other two for that matter, being outside our door timing us and listening for smexy times."
"I was listening for smexy times, Rose was arguing with Jerkett, as she calls him."
"He is a Jerkett. A Jerkett who is gonna go down."
"On you...ow!" Alice rubbed her arm where Rose had punched her.
"Why couldn't Bells have punched me? She's a bloody weakling. Ow, Amazon girl."
"The pair of you are gonna shut up about my lack of physical..." Bella didn't get to finish her sentence. Her semi-tirade was interrupted by her phone, which she answered like a teenage girl on prom night.
"Hello, Bella Swan speaking"
"Hi Juliette"
"Hi, yourself. How's your arm?"
"Stinging. I'm sweating like a pig. Aro insisted I keep wearing the ski-mask at the hospital and he paid the bill in full so no one can track who I am...and get this, he videotaped the suturing on his damned phone from a slit in the curtains. Somehow I don't think he has my best interests at heart."
"We were having a discussion earlier about the same thing."
"Oh, so you were worried about me? I didn't know because you weren't there holding my hand while a very pretty doctor stitched me up."
"She was pretty was she?" Bella hoped the sound of jealousy wasn't tainting her voice.
"Yes. At least 65, grey hair and wore bifocals to do the fifteen stitches in my arm. The bite mark will probably scar though."
"So women with grey hair do it for you?"
"Yeah, obviously. She was hot. Even her lavender scent is hard for me to get out of my head. Mostly because it was so overbearing. I forgot that your olfactory senses get worse as you get older. She must bathe in that perfume. So wanna go out with me tonight and I'll show you my war wounds?"
"That would be lovely. Can you ditch the wingmen? Room service in my room at say 7:00?"
"Ooh that's Granny's dinner time."
"Yeah, well, after that we can talk or whatever..."
"Is "whatever" the new codeword for what old people are calling stuff these days?"
"Watch it, buster, or I'll get dressed up as a granny and try to feel you up."
"Hmmm, that's just the best image you could have left me with. I'll see you at 7:00?"
"7:00 it is."
"Oh, and Bells?"
"Yes?"
"Have a Granny nap beforehand. You might need your energy."
~~OtA~~
Thanks for reading. Thanks to my Beta and my prereader - FicObsessed and Elaine67.
I have a one shot going up at Fandom Fights the Floods, its called "The Storm." Its about a weatherman Edward who uses dirty double entendres during his weather report to drive his research assistant, Bella, absolutely wild. Includes plane sex, (not plain sex) and bathroom banging. It might help you if you are finding this story lacking in smexy times at the moment. www (Dot)fandomsfightthefloods(dot)blogspot(dot)com
This is the website should you desire to donate and read- 285 ish authors have donated their stories and I am certain there will be something that you will find tantalizing amongst them!