Chapter 10
It seemed that in less than a second after Akane's outburst, that every student in school had transported to their location to watch the fight and to gossip. Something had clearly gone down between their favorite crossdresser and the wild Amazon that chased him. Ranma eyed the growing crowd, gently placed her buckets on the ground and turned to see a very irate Akane. "Uh, hey Akane. What's up?" She asked nervously, knowing it couldn't be good.
Akane trembled with barely controlled rage, "It all makes sense now." She whispered to herself, "That's why Shampoo was so desperate to make you a guy again." She nodded to herself, the puzzle pieces were all fitting together. "You are hiding out as a girl to shirk your responsibilities." She glared at Ranma as her shinai materialized in her hand, "And I was so nice to you too. Ranma, you jerk!" She swung her shinai in a wild arc, the loud sound of bamboo meeting flesh echoed down the halls.
"Huh?" Akane muttered in surprised confusion as the lunch bell rang. Ryoga had shielded Ranma from her strike, taking the full brunt of her anger by allowing himself to be hit across the back. "Why… why…?"
Ranma looked up to see Ryoga's face was only inches from hers and gulped. Pain was evident in his scrunched up eyes, Ranma knew that he had practically inhuman strength, but she also knew that when Akane meant it, her strikes hurt. As the pain cleared from his face he looked down at her, concerned. "You ok?" He asked in a gentle whisper.
His tone sent a thrill through her, it made her want to reach up and-
"What's with those two?"
"Forget about that. What did she say about Shampoo?"
"What did she mean by responsibilities?"
"You don't think he finally #$%!&?"
"Then does that mean Shampoo is…?"
The gossiping students around her snapped Ranma out of her daze, she grabbed Ryoga's hand and awkwardly but loudly said, "Was that the lunch bell? Man I'm hungry. Gotta run." And run she did, dragging Ryoga behind her.
Akane watched them go, her head tilted to one side in thought. Something was off. Why would Ryoga defend Ranma like that? Her eyes widened, "Of course!" she cried loudly as she slammed her fist into her open palm. "It was so obvious!" Her conclusion did not make her any less mad, but at least now she felt that the whole situation made sense.
"Those two are acting strange, well, stranger than usual." Ukyo said as she came to stand beside Akane.
Akane turned to the girl that had only moments ago confided in her, she decided that they were in this together now, so Ukyo should know the whole story. "Let's talk outside."
Ryoga and Ranma sat on the roof eating the lunches Kasumi had packed for them. "This is so embarrassing!" Ranma whined. She had been in such a daze that she didn't actually hear what the students had been whispering about, she only knew that their gossiping had snapped her out of- of- well whatever that had been, it had snapped her out of it. She definitely hadn't been thinking about wrapping her arms around his neck and- No! I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I- am- a- guy! She shook her head to clear her thoughts and fight off the blush that had been threatening to overtake her cheeks.
"Hey, it's embarrassing for me too. Everyone was whispering!" Ryoga hadn't heard the content of the whispers either, he'd been so busy staring down into the face of the beautiful girl looking back up at him, that he'd almost forgotten she was Ranma. Heat rose in his cheeks at the memory, he didn't want her to know just how close he'd come to doing something stupid, like kissing her, so instead he did something stupid and blurted out the first thing he could think of to mask his muddled feelings, "What must Akane think of me now?" He cringed even as he said it, Stupid, stupid, stupid! He scolded himself, but being worried about Akane's opinion of him had become a hardwired habit.
Ranma's eye twitched as she sat down her empty bento box and smiled at him pleasantly. Ryoga was confused, they eye twitch signalled danger, but the smile suggested that she was ok. The confusion cleared rapidly when she rose slowly to her feet and spoke in a sweet but deadly voice, "If Akane means so much to you," her voice turned angry, "then why don't you go get her pregnant too?" She yelled as she kicked him off the roof and watched as he crashed into the roof of the sports equipment shed. "Hmpf!" She turned to leave, but sighed when she glanced back at the Ryoga shaped hole in the equipment shed's roof. If I don't go get him, who knows where he'll end up… She rolled her eyes and jumped off the roof.
After her departure the door the lead to the rooftop, which had been ever so slightly open, closed. Inside, the unsuspecting person that had been looking for a quiet place to eat, couldn't believe what they had heard. "Could that mean that Ranma is…?"
Ukyo nodded along as Akane explained everything. That Ranma was trapped in female form, that he had discovered a hidden desire and the whole situation with Ranma's aura. "So, Ranma must have known Shampoo was pregnant and run off on that training trip anyway." Akane had conveniently forgotten that she had sent them on it herself. "Maybe he was undecided, or didn't know what to think. Then he ate those mushrooms-"
"-And discovered that his desire was to not be a father!" Ukyo chimed in. "The mushrooms must have trapped him in his girl form somehow, preventing him from being a father."
"It's no wonder Shampoo is so desperate for him to return to his male form." Akane continued, despite her anger, she felt somewhat sorry for the Amazon girl, no one deserved to be jilted like that.
"So then, the stress from unexpectedly locking him into his girl form, combined with Shampoo's condition must be triggering Ranma's chi outbursts." Ukyo decided, and Akane nodded in agreement. "Finally, Ryoga's strange behaviour is only because he promised Nodoka that he'd make sure Ranma didn't hurt anyone."
Akane picked up where Ukyo left off, "Therefore, since it's happening when Ranma is under attack, Ryoga has to keep Ranma from getting hurt."
The two girls were quite proud of themselves for putting the truth of the matter together from the available facts. They felt like a couple of detectives. There was just one thing.
"So now that we know that Ranma chose Shampoo," Ukyo began, "what are we gonna do about it?" She finished.
Akane bristled, "I couldn't care less who he chose!" Liar! Her inner voice yelled, outwardly though, she said,"But it's not ok to treat Shampoo this way. We have to do something."
"After school then?" Ukyo asked?
"After school then." Akane agreed.
"Wakey wakey, Pork Chop." Ranma nudged Ryoga with her foot. He had bumped his head during the fall, but she knew he'd be fine, he'd taken far worse before.
"Ah, my pigtailed Goddess. Your radiance, in this bleak and dismal hovel, warms my heart and illuminates my soul. Let not that that scalawag ruin your good name, come away at once, and I will allow you the honour of dating with me." Ranma sighed as she turned and saw the crazed kendoist standing in the doorway.
Doesn't he ever give up? Her eyes narrowed in annoyance, she walked straight up to the delusional fool and slapped him with all her might across the face. "I don't like you, you jackass! I never did! I- hate- you! Do you understand? Leave- me- alone!"
Kuno turned to her with a stunned expression on his face, her handprint bright upon his cheek. "I understand." He replied seriously.
Ranma let out a breath, could it really be over?
She really shouldn't have let her guard slip, even a little, because the madman grabbed her up in a tight embrace, "I understand now, this new sorcerer is stronger even than that foul Saotome!" Ranma struggled to free herself, but she couldn't escape his death grip. She glanced at Ryoga, but he was barely beginning to stir. "The cure however, I know well, for it is spoken of in every great romantic tale. True love's kiss!" Ranma blanched and Kuno lips came closer, closer… No way in Hell! She grit her teeth and jerked her knee suddenly, Kuno cried out and fell to the ground, gripping his groin.
Finally, Ryoga sat up, "What's going on?" he asked. It was pretty obvious though that Kuno had just put the moves on her again. Rather than answer him though, she continued to glare at Kuno as if she wanted to kick his head in. Then again, she likely did.
Kuno however did look his way, between pained gasps he declared, "I… will not… allow you… to sully her…"
Ranma, was too mad to think logically. Too mad to realize that it might be a bad idea. She wanted to hit him where it hurt, figuratively this time, she'd already done so literally, so she leaned in close to his ear and whispered, "Oh, but he already did."
Kuno's eyes went wide, then he went into shock.
As they stepped over Kuno's prone form, something occurred to Ryoga, "Wait, shouldn't he have graduated by now?" He had been fairly certain that Kuno was a year older than them.
Ranma grinned, her bad mood evaporating as she recalled the humorous memory.
-Flashback-
"Oh, my sweet boy Tachi, finally graduatin'." Principal Kuno, who was holding an impromptu assembly, wiped a tear from his eye. "Now you finally you be getting' that buzz cut and be takin' you rightful place at me side," he pulled a string that caused 'Congratulations' banners to unfurl, "as me vice principal!"
Kuno stood from his place in the crowd, "I refuse! It is said that 'Why, but there's many a man hath more hair than wit.' I say, why can a man not have both? Especially a man so debonair as myself? Nay, I, Tetewake Kuno, Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, shall be leaving my glorious hair intact and shall be applying at the most prestigious of Universities to study poetry, literature and kendo."
"Oh really?" The principal asked with one eyebrow raised.
"Indeed." Kuno replied gravely.
"In dat case," The principal pulled another string and a pile of papers fell onto the stage and the principal lit them on fire, "I suppose graduatin' class no be needin' dem test and exam papers. Got no papers, can no be applyin'!"
-End Flashback-
"Most of the students begged another school for last minute enrollments and were able ta retake their exams, but Kuno isn't that smart." Ranma finished her story.
"That explains him," Ryoga gestured to Kuno, who was still laying on the floor. "What about Nabiki though?"
Ranma groaned, and in the best imitation of Nabiki's voice that she could manage, said, "Are you kidding? I have so many betting pools running over your crazy antics that I'd lose money if I left now." With a sigh, she added, "She enjoys making a fortune off my misery." Not ta mention the bribery… aw man, I forgot that I have that job to do for Nabiki after school today. Ranma spent the next few minutes scolding herself for letting Nabiki get the best of her, again.
Inside, Nabiki was organising a new betting pool based around her favorite money-maker at that very moment. "Step right up, step right up, place your bets people. When will Ranma's baby be born?" She cleverly left Shampoo's name out entirely so that the bets would not be invalidated later on. Things were looking good so far, she knew Ranma's due date and most of the students were way off. Just to be sure, she penciled her own bet in on the expected day and arranged for her accomplices to fill in the surrounding days. Everything was going great.
"Excuse me." Someone piped up from behind Nabiki. The pallid and skittish Gosunguki stood behind her looking nervous. This is the sister of Akane Tendo, and she looked at me! He thought excitedly to himself.
"Yes?" She asked with one perfectly manicured eyebrow raised.
The sister of Akane Tendo spoke to me! He thought with no small amount of giddiness. Getting in her family's good books could only increase his standing as far as he was concerned. "I want to place a bet."
With a wiggle of her finger she had one of her associates bring over the calendar. "Pick your lucky day from those that remain." She replied as it was laid out in front of him.
"Oh, no. I want to place a special bet." He said, ignoring the calendar and thinking about what he had witnessed on the school roof.
A special bet? She was intrigued. "Go on."
He leaned in close and whispered with uncharacteristic confidence, "I want to bet that Ranma is not the father."
Nabiki knew that the boy had a habit of spying on people, and while she wasn't overly worried yet, he was a cause for concern. If anyone were to find out that Ranma was in fact the mother of the child, she could forget about Ranma keeping up her end of their deal. "Take care of the betting girls, my friend and I have to have a little chat." She called out as she dragged Gosunkugi into an empty classroom across the hall. She may not have been a martial artist, but she had enough strength to pin the suddenly scared boy to the wall. "Tell me what you know."
"Er…" He stuttered, "Well, I was on my way to the roof… I wasn't spying on them! I just overheard by accident… Ranma was yelling at that Hibiki boy about having gotten someone pregnant." He grew a little more confident here, he did like to gossip after all. "So, with my brilliant mind it was easy to conclude that Ranma is…" He paused for dramatic effect, "…not the father of Shampoo's baby. That Hibiki boy is!"
Nabiki nearly laughed out loud, he had me worried for a second there. Her mind was racing now though, thinking of how she could use this new tidbit of supposed gossip for profit. Ah ha! Dollar signs danced before her eyes and she came up with the day's newest bet. "Gosunkugi, I want you to tell everyone about this, do you understand? If you do a good job, I'll make sure Akane says hello to you tomorrow."
Gosunkugi nearly swooned thinking that Akane Tendo might speak to him. His eyes grew determined and he clenched his fist as if he were about to go to battle. "I'll do it!" As he ran out of the classroom, he was so busy fantasizing about tomorrow's meeting with his crush that he forgot entirely about placing his bet.
Knowing she would need to enlist a little help to ensure the new bet would be a success, Nabiki headed off to find two of the biggest gossips in school, Hiroshi and Daisuke. I suppose giving them some flyers to drum up interest in tonight's little event wouldn't hurt either.
Hushed whispers followed in Ranma and Ryoga's wake as they walked through the school corridor. Some students were giggling, others sending hostile glares their way. Supporters of Akane were furious with the pigtailed martial artist for having so cruelly betrayed her trust. Other students were just enjoying the show that was Ranma's life, the boy was a magnet for chaos and never failed to disappoint. Not having heard the rumours yet themselves, the pair could only conclude that the whispers were about Ryoga jumping to her defence and the rather intimate gaze that had followed.
Once in the classroom, Ranma took her usual seat in front of her two male friends. The two shared a look and nodded, it was time to put Nabiki's plan into action. "So Ranma," Daisuke started, "I hear you finally #$%^&."
"Although," Hisoshi continued, "We were surprised to hear just you #$%^& with."
"Congrats on the baby, man." Daisuke finished.
Ranma's face flushed bright red as she leapt from her seat, "How do you know about that? Who told you? I didn't- I wouldn't- I'm not-"
"You're so lucky, Shampoo's a fox." One of the other boys in class added.
That stopped Ranma's stuttering denial, "Huh?" Shampoo? What the heck does Shampoo have ta do with it?
The whispers turned into loud chatter as they students jumped from their seats, either to question Ranma or to run to Nabiki's classroom to place their bets. Having heard Gosunkugi telling the whole school that he was certain that Ryoga was the father, the students had started debating which the more likely candidate between the two was. Ranma's little outburst had, as Nabiki had expected it would, confirmed for most of the students that Ranma was indeed the more likely of the two. She had once again been very careful to ensure that the wording asked which of the two the father was without ever mentioning Shampoo. Being held back a year had been completely worth it, she was gonna make a killing.
"Stop running in the halls, class is in session!" A teacher called out, the student body was far too worked up to listen though and the poor man was trampled as students from every class rushed back and forth, betting and gossiping. As he crawled out of the crowd, he hoped against hope that Ms. Hinako would put an end to the madness with her chi draining abilities. He was disappointed however to see her leaping over the heads of students in order to place a bet of her own.
It had been a long afternoon, after Ranma's initial reaction, no one would believe her denials that she had anything to do with Shampoo. It had become obvious that someone had found out that Ranma was going to have a baby, but mistaken her for the father and Shampoo for the mother. Somehow another rumour, that she was hiding out in her girl form to avoid responsibility, had been going around as well. Who comes up with these ideas? She had bolted from the classroom, dragging Ryoga behind her the second the bell had rung. She was almost through the school gate when he danger senses kicked and she dodged out of the way of an oncoming throwing spatula.
"Ranma!" Akane yelled.
"Prepare to pay!" Ukyo finished.
Ranma gulped nervously and Ryoga wondered to himself if he could really fight against Akane in order to defend Ranma. The two girls charged and Ryoga hesitated, allowing them to each smack Ranma with a piece of paper. "Huh?" Ranma looked down at the 2 pieces of paper in confusion. She held the papers in front of herself and paled, They wouldn't… but it was clear that the two girls had.
Held in Ranma's hands were 2 bills, one for all the okonomiyaki that Ranma had ever eaten without paying for, plus Ukyo's father's food cart, and another for all the damages that had ever been caused by Ranma to the Tendo's home and dojo. Both had interest tacked on.
"With this," Ukyo announced.
"We are through!" Akane finished.
The two girls stormed away, leaving Ranma standing there to gape at all the zeros in front of her. They had been right she would pay, she would pay for a long time to come.
Author's note: I don't know about other versions, but in the manga translations that I read, Hiroshi and Daisuke bugged Ranma asking if he'd #$%^& yet with Akane. Maybe not those exact symbols, but the same idea. I thought it was funny compared to the anime where they just asks if he and Akane you know yet. So I used the same thing here.