Chapter 11
"Feh, whatever." Ranma shook her head scowled as she stuffed the bills in her pockets. Man, I gotta go do that stupid job for Nabiki. I really don't wanna take Ryoga, that would be just too embarrassing. If I leave him anywhere though, he's just gonna wander off. Too bad I can't keep him on a leash. A leash!
The hairs on Ryoga's neck stood on end as his danger senses warned him that something horrible was coming. He looked around for the source of said danger, but the only person nearby was Ranma. Ranma, whose eyes held a mischievous glint. Ranma, who- Hey, where did she get that water? "Squee!"
A few minutes later Ryoga was back in his old campsite, tied to a telephone pole. "It's for your own good." Ranma told him, "You just wait here like a good piggy until I get back, ok?" Ranma found it rather amusing how Ryoga managed to make his squeals sound like vicious swear words that he wouldn't dare utter while human. There was little chance that he'd be a good piggy, and she knew he'd be furious later, but there was no way he was coming with her. She didn't want anyone she knew to witness her humiliation. She really should have known Nabiki better than that.
Soun watched Akane aggressively breaking bricks in the back yard. "Did Ranma and Akane have another fight?" He asked Kasumi, who had just served him tea.
"Oh my, father I'm sure they're just rumours, but I overheard some students from Akane's school while I was out to buy groceries. You now how children are though, these things must be taken with a grain of salt." She replied with a touch of nervousness.
Soun looked at his eldest daughter, knowing that she was not one to gossip. If Kasumi said something, in Soun's mind, it must be true. "Please Kasumi, tell me, what is it?"
Kasumi was hesitant to tell her father what she had heard, he did overreact so dramatically sometimes, but she wasn't one to lie either. "It would seem, that the students are under the impression that Shampoo is expecting and they believe Ranma to be responsible. Some students claim to have overheard Akane planning a break up and that, with Ukyo's help, Akane wrote up a bill for damages to the house and dojo over the past 2 years and presented it to Ranma. But father, please remember-" She began, but Soun had already run off into the back yard. "-they are just rumours." She finished quietly.
"Akane!" Soun wailed, "Tell me it isn't true! Please tell me that you haven't broken things off with Ranma!"
"Uhg! It's no less than he deserves, that- that- PERVERT!" The bricks in front of Akane shattered as she smashed her fist through them, debris flew up into the air, forming a dust cloud.
Genma, who had been bathing, emerged from the house at this point. "What is all the commotion?" He asked, though it was plain to see that Ranma must have upset Akane somehow.
Soun turned on Genma, "It would seem that your son impregnated that Shampoo girl!"
If Soun had been expecting anger from Genma, he was disappointed when Genma laughed, "I didn't know the boy had it in him. I was beginning to worry that he wasn't interested in girls!"
Looking scandalized, Soun asked, "How could you say such a thing? How will we ever unite the schools if Ranma marries Shampoo?" When he caught sight of Akane out of the corner of his eye, he added, "And what of poor Akane, look at her, her heart is broken!"
Stacking twice her usual height of bricks, Akane replied, "My heart is not broken! I couldn't care less what, or who Ranma does with his time!" She yelled as she drove her fist through the bricks. There had been one too many though and pain radiated up her arm as the final brick refused to crack under her anger. Tears leaked out of the corner of her eyes from the sudden sensation.
"Her broken heart has brought her to tears Saotome! By poor baby girl!" Soun blubbered.
Genma decided that he had to take charge of this situation, after all, a break up might leave him homeless and unfed. "It is not so bad Tendo. If we have Akane and Ranma marry before the birth of the baby, they can adopt it!" It was a terrible plan, even to his own ears, but he was a desperate man.
The light of hope in Soun's eyes was rekindled by the thought, "Of course!" He spun to face Akane, "Do you see Akane? If you would just take back that bill and make up with Ranma, everyone could be happy!" Everyone, in Soun's mind, obviously did not include Shampoo.
"You have got to be kidding me!" Akane couldn't believe the ridiculousness that she was hearing. "No way!"
Soun, never knowing when it might be wise to just give up, tuned to the girl that had just arrived home and was now watching the scene with interest, "Nabiki, talk to your sister would you?"
"Sure thing, daddy." Nabiki smiled broadly as she approached Akane, who watched her warily. "Akane, I am so proud of you." She grabbed up both of her sister's hands in her own. "You are finally showing genuine interest in the family's finances and I have never felt closer to you." Akane could have sworn that Nabiki's eyes were getting a little watery as she continued, "We could set you up with your own investment portfolio!" Akane found herself unable to argue as Nabiki dragged her into the house, rambling about stock prices. So few things genuinely excited her sister that she couldn't bear to tell her that the whole bill thing had been primarily Ukyo's idea.
In the back yard, Soun was stunned by his middle daughter's betrayal. Tears were flowing down his cheeks, "It is hopeless Saotome!" He cried.
"Now now, Tendo, there is one thing." Genma replied, winging it.
Soun sniffed and with a whimper asked, "What, what is it my friend?"
Genma stood tall, light reflected off his glasses as he declared, "You are the man of the house!" Soun nodded meekly at this. "As man of the house, YOU can cancel Ranma's debt." Soun nodded a little more vigorously, "With that out of the way, surely the two will reconcile!" Genma was thoroughly relieved when Soun nodded furiously in agreement. Hopefully that would buy him enough time to come up with a better plan. "Now, where do you suppose the boy is?" He wondered out loud.
After babbling excessively about interest rates, retirement funds and investment opportunities, Nabiki had grabbed a bite to eat and taken off somewhere. Akane had cooled off after icing her sore hand and had decided to go for a walk. As se meandered through the neighbourhood she heard a familiar noise. Turning into the vacant lot, her suspicions were confirmed. "P-Chan!" Someone has tied the poor pig to a pole and left him there. It was obvious that he'd been trying to gnaw his way through the rope that held him, one section was chewed almost all the way through. "Oh, my poor baby! Who would do this to you?" She asked as she undid the knots in the rope.
Akane hugged her pet pig to her bosom as she walked towards the local park. Ryoga wasn't quite as comfortable with this as he used to be. It seemed a little wrong somehow, like he was betraying Ranma. He scoffed internally, Ranma had just turned him into a pig, tied him to a pole and left him there. Defiantly, he rested his head on her chest and tried to relax and enjoy the moment. It's not that he liked being a pig, because he didn't, but there was a certain simplistic comfort in the life of a pig, a pet pig at least. To be cared for and loved in such a manner was very soothing for a boy that spent so much time alone.
"Oh P-Chan," Akane sighed as she sat on a swing, "at least I can trust you not to lie and hide things from me." She said sadly as she petted him. Ryoga looked away in shame, because he knew that he likely lied to her more often than anyone else. "What am I going to do? I thought that Ranma just wanted to be a girl, that we could finally be friends. I was wrong though, that coward was just hiding from Shampoo because he- he- arg! That jerk! Acting like my friend but not even telling me!" Akane tilted her head to the side, something seemed off about that statement. "Oh," She whispered, "Ranma did try to tell me, didn't he?"
P-Chan nodded his head since she seemed to be looking for an answer. Ranma had tried to speak with her, even if that wasn't necessarily what she'd intended to reveal.
She felt a twinge of guilt for her outburst at school. "Maybe- maybe I should let him explain. Do you think?" She asked her trusted pet, who nodded once more. "Ok," She said as she stood from the swing, "now, where do you suppose he could be?"
Ranma stepped out of the changing room, grumbling, but relieved that Nabiki's friend had chosen a more moderate costume in the end than the naughty maid. Not that a Lolita maid was much better, but at least her midriff wasn't exposed. Looking in the dressing room's full length mirror and brushed her hand over her stomach. She wasn't showing yet, from the book Xiao Tao had given her, she knew it would be a few more weeks at least, but she felt like if anyone saw her bare belly, they would somehow know.
Sadashi, Nabiki's friend, was launching a maid café. She had wanted an attraction to draw customers for their Grand opening, and as Nabiki had invested in the place, she too wanted it to be a success. This had lead Nabiki into asking- no, blackmailing Ranma to join the staff, at least for the opening day, in order to drum up business. No one drew a crowd quite like Ranma.
As Ranma inspected herself in the mirror, Sadashi came up behind her and tied her headpiece on. "Nabiki was right, you are really cute. With you drumming up business, hopefully our opening evening will be packed." Ranma just continued to grumble as she slipped on a pair of ribbon-ridden mary janes, grabbed the stack of flyers that she had been asked to distribute and headed out of the building.
Once outside, she decided that if she was gonna do this thing, she ought to do it right, Sadashi seemed nice enough after all. With that thought in mind she put her limited, but effective, feminine skills to use by batting her large doe eyes coquettishly at passersby as she handed out flyers for the café. She didn't notice the girl sitting inside a store window on the opposite side of the street, taking pictures and waiting for all Hell to break loose. Any minute now… she thought with great expectation.
As if on cue, students from Furinkan high started coming down the street in droves. The girls giggled while the boys whistled and cheered. Ranma paled, these were some of the last people in the world that she wanted to see her like this, but she had done much more humiliating things in front of them before, so she decided that she could deal with it. She headed for Hiroshi and Daisuke first, handed them each a flyer and tried to convince them to come inside.
"Oh, we already know all about the place." Hiroshi dug around in his pocket and pulled out a flyer.
"Yeah Ranma, that's why we're all here." Daisuke continued, "Seems like false advertising though." He complained as he pointed at the flyer Hiroshi was holding up.
Ranma's eyes widened as she snatched the paper out of her friend's hand. This isn't like the flyers I have at all! Sure, it advertised the café, but the picture on it was of her in that horrible skimpy maid costume that Nabiki had forced her to try on 'to test the size'. That sneak, she was just getting pictures of me! Why am I not surprised…? Ranma promptly ripped the flyer into a million pieces.
"Hey! I was gonna frame that!" Hiroshi whined.
Daisuke leaned toward him and whispered a little too loudly, "Don't worry about it, I'm sure Nabiki will sell copies of the original."
Ranma considered hitting the pair over their heads, but instead just rolled her eyes. The two were incurable perverts, and had begged Ranma, along with many of the other male students, not to go looking for a cure on numerous occasions, but at least they weren't actually perusing her like Kuno. She settled for asking "So are you gonna come in and order something or not?"
Hiroshi looked thoughtful, "I dunno, I mean, the flyer promised live entertainment."
Nodding, Ranma replied, "Yeah, the girls have a stage inside where they dance and sing."
Daisuke grinned, "Yeah, but it's not them on the flyer is it?"
Ranma blanched, "I ain't singin' and dancin'!" she hissed at the two boys.
"Ranma, Ranma, Ranma. Is that any way to treat potential customers?" Nabiki asked as she came up behind Ranma.
"Singin' and dancin' is girl stuff!" Ranma said in a huff.
Nabiki leaned in close and whispered, "Oh, so you don't do girl stuff now? I guess that means the whole situation with Ryoga is just a big misunderstanding. Maybe I should tell them all about it and we'll all have a good laugh."
Awkwardly and unenthusiastically, Ranma called out, "Singin' and dancin', yay." and turned to head inside. The student body cheered and followed behind her.
Sadashi's eyes widened when she saw the horde of customer's following Nabiki's redheaded 'friend'. She wondered briefly if fire codes would even allow so many people into her establishment at one time, but brushed her concern aside, she had customers to serve.
It was only a few minutes later, that the girl on stage finished her song and Nabiki pushed Ranma into the spotlight. Nabiki grinned as the students waited anxiously for Ranma to humiliate herself. Nabiki knew better though, she had heard Ranma perform before at family parties. Rather than the off-key screeching that they had been expecting, the students of Furinkan, the customers that had already been inside, servers and even passersby on the street were all held spellbound by the soulful voice coming from the stage.
Akane had been making her way to Ukyo's when she saw the commotion, everyone seemed to be rushing toward a shop at the end of the street. Wasn't that place empty? She wondered as she made her way over to see what was going on. As she got closer she could see girls in maid costumes setting up tables on the sidewalk to accommodate the many customers gathering there, as though no more could fit inside. It looks like a café. I wonder why it's so crowded. The answer came to her as she neared and was lured in by the siren song coming from within. It couldn't be…
Her suspicion was confirmed when she approached the door and peeked inside the café, which was filled to capacity. Ranma's male side had a rather unimpressive singing voice, he wouldn't deafen you, but it was nothing to write home about. Ranma's girl side however, Akane had been jealous ever since she'd first heard her sing at a family party. As she watched from the doorway, she failed to notice the effect that the red head was having on her pet pig.
Ryoga was staring in awe at the red-headed angel singing on stage. At that moment in time, with his heart thumping wildly, Ryoga found it impossible to reconcile the lovely creature before him with the image he held in his head of his male martial arts rival. It was at this moment that he realized he was well and truly screwed because that was when, without a doubt, he fell in love with the girl that didn't exist.
Double crap!
Ranma had to admit that her singing drawing such a large crowd was rather gratifying. Ok, this is kinda fun… A few songs in, when she realized that not only was she not being mocked or made fun of, but people were actually enthralled, she relaxed and started to enjoy herself. She had even found herself swaying to the music and occasionally mimicking the dance moves being performed by the girls on either side of her. She had begun to enjoy herself so much that she almost didn't see the chains coming. Almost. At the very last second she dived out of the way, only to look back and see that Mousse had tied up one of the back-up dancers.
"Ranma Saotome! Finally, I will make you pay for besmirching Shampoo's honor." With a tug on the chains, he pulled the poor scared girl off her feet, through the air and drew his fist back in order to hit her as she approached.
Man, didn't this guy learn his lesson the last time? Ranma threw the microphone in her hand at full speed, hitting Mousse in the head. "Put your glasses on, you blind idiot!" Ranma yelled, as the back up dancer crashed landed, taking Mousse down with her.
Mousse pulled his coke-bottle glasses down over his eyes, "Who are you?" He asked, looking up at the girl sitting on his chest. Before she could answer he turned his head to glare at Ranma, "What a cowardly move. Substituting this poor girl for yourself to evade punishment."
"I didn't do nothin'! You're the one who grabbed her!" Looking around, Ranma noticed, with a frown, that there were far too many people in the café. If the idiot fought her now, everyone would get caught up in their fight, especially considering that the door and front window were packed with people trying to see what was going on now. If a fight did break out, no one would even be able to escape. "Mousse, can we not do this now? How about I meet you after work, ok?"
Tossing the girl that had been sitting on him to the side, Mousse leapt to his feet. "You can't delay my revenge. All these people will bear witness to your defeat! I will see you disgraced for what you have done to Shampoo!" He yelled as he lunged at Ranma.
Looking around, Ranma noticed that the stage was now free of dancers and lured Mousse toward it. If we fight up here, there will be less of a chance that someone will get hurt. Now there's just one problem… She hadn't forgotten how her last few fights had ended, if the fool pushed her too far, the aura of the Fierce Mother Bear might emerge. I can't let that happen with so many people around. Think Saotome, think. Her eyes lit up with an idea as she continued to dodge Mousse's attacks. Yeah, that could work… Ranma thought as she fell into the Soul of Ice.
Akane tried to maneuver through the crowd to put an end to the fight, but there were far too many people packed in the café for her to make any headway. "What if she flips out again?" Akane wondered out loud. Ryoga had been planning to break free from Akane's grasp, but when he saw Ranma assume the Soul of Ice, he stopped. That could work… He had to admit it was actually rather brilliant, since the Mama Bear aura was blazing hot, a cold technique might keep it in balance. Then again, the clash of temperatures inside the martial artist could just as easily tear her apart.
It seemed to Ranma that all she did lately was fight with a handicap. Once again she found herself limited by the non-combatants gathered nearby as she ducked, dodged and weaved to avoid Mousse's unending supply of projectiles, ensuring all the while that none of the spectators were caught in the crosshairs. She managed it all methodically however, void of emotions, while planning how to best take out her opponent and cause as little damage to Sadashi's shop as possible. She surveyed the patrons quickly as she deflected a flying chainsaw away from the crowd, unfortunately everyone gathered seemed to have a preference for hot beverages, something cold to splash Mousse with would have been nice. As several knives flew at her she came up with plan B. If this works, he's toast. From that moment she stopped dodging entirely and deflected every item hurled her way, which included, but were not limited to, a sets of weights, an anvil, a hairbrush and a dozen eggs. Before the eggs could hit any surface and explode, as Ranma was sure they would, she threw her hands forward.
"Ha! What was that supposed to do?" Mouse taunted, "Maybe you should train mo-" He was cut off suddenly as nearly every item that Ranma had deflected crashed into him at the same time and the dozen eggs did in fact explode.
Ryoga was impressed, she had used the basic principles behind the Throwing Iron Cloth technique to connect a chi thread to each item she had deflected. She hadn't bothered to harden them, she'd just thrown them back at her unsuspecting opponent, going so far as to ensure that any sharp objects impacted with the blunt end first.
Heh, didn't even need the Soul of Ice, she thought as the smoke cleared to reveal a thoroughly unconscious Mousse. Not much damage done either, not bad.
That's when a delivery bicycle crashed through the front window.
Damn, I spoke too soon.
Author's note: Ok, so Ranma sang with the Tendos in the Christmas special. In the english version, she wasn't that good. In the japanese version however, I felt like her voice was the best. That's just my preference however, but I'm sticking with it... and maybe exaggerating a little, for the fun of it.