Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Star Trek or Harry Potter. They belong to J.J Abrams, Gene Roddenberry and J.K Rowling.

Warnings: Slash (male/male pairings), threesome, AU, violence, language, angst, character deaths, psychological/anxiety disorders, sexual situations, etc.

Pairings: Spock/Harry/Kirk, hints of Sulu/Chekov and Scotty/Uhura

Note: This is an adaptation of the TOS episode The Conscience of the King

77. Past

Jim's mouth felt dry and he worked to swallow, hoping it would help but it didn't seem to. It was like he swallowed sand or his tongue was too thick for his mouth, he just felt like he was choking as he stared blankly at the screen in front of him. He was sitting in the conference room just off the bridge and while normally he would rather be sitting in his comfy chair overlooking his crew, Jim didn't want it at the moment. He just wanted a few minutes to gather himself and process the information he was just given.

Not even ten minutes ago the Enterprise was hailed with a private message for their captain and thinking it was something important, Jim had taken it in the conference room. He was surprised when he saw the anxious face of Dr. Thomas Leighton and the man did not look well. He was pale, his hair and clothes disarrayed as if he had been in a fight and his eyes were darting around in a paranoid fashion. It had been a long time since Jim had seen Tom act this way… since during that event.

It took a bit, but Jim was able to calm him down and question what was wrong. The blond captain knew that whatever was troubling Tom was a real emergency if he was willing to disturb Jim during his shift. But the realization of how dire this emergency was didn't hit Jim until those dreaded words fell from Tom's lips.

"Kodos is alive."

Everything inside Jim seemed to freeze and in his mind he saw flashes of death, blood and chaos; heard the screams and smelled the vile scent of burning flesh. He wanted to deny it, wanted to call out Tom on his bullshit but he knew the doctor would never lie about something like that. Tarsus IV was a part of Jim's life that he would give anything to forget; one of the few things that still haunted him despite all he's done to push it away. It had been the point in his existence when what innocence was left in him had been brutally shattered and crushed, never to be given back. None could ever understand or relate to what Jim had seen during that brief period of his life except perhaps Harry.

"What are you talking about?" he hissed shaking in rage or fear, perhaps a mixture of both. He didn't want to entertain the idea of that madman still being alive; still alive and breathing and living. Tom swallowed thickly as he questioned, "Do you know of the Karidian Shakespeare group?"

"Heard of them in passing, but that's it. What does this have to do with anything Tom?"

"I saw a performance by them the other night and the man, Anton Karidian… the moment I saw him… dammit JT it was Kodos! I would know that face anywhere!" Tom exclaimed choking down a sob. Jim wished he could comfort his friend, but he was too busy trying to contain his own inner freak out. He croaked in a hoarse voice, "Are you sure? Are you sure?"

"Fuck I'm sure! He looked at me and suddenly I felt like a child again! That same weak and helpless child," Tom whimpered his eyes beginning to water as he shook more, "You have to come and see for yourself! If we can both confirm it, the Federation can lock him away!"

"Shit," Jim hissed rubbing his forehead. Tom licked his lips, "Please JT… I know it's him! I wouldn't bother you unless I was certain!"

Chewing on his lip, Jim lingered in indecision. He didn't want to believe that Kodos was still alive even though in his heart he had known it was true. After all, they were never able to identify the burned body they found as Kodos' or not. To go to Planet Q and see this man again, Jim wasn't sure how he would be able to handle it; if it was truly Kodos Jim would have to reign in his need for vengeance. Not to mention he didn't want to get any of the crew or his lovers involved. No one knew about his place in Tarsus IV history, not even McCoy who was his closest friend and brother.

But if it was Kodos, Jim wanted to bring him to justice for all those he had murdered and the lives he destroyed. Plus he couldn't leave Tom at the mercy of that man. Sighing heavily he nodded, "Very well. We'll be there as soon as possible."

"Oh thank you JT!" Tom exclaimed in relief, "I'll see you soon."

And that had been the end of it. Dozens of thoughts and possibilities were flying around in Jim's skull, his heart hammering and his limbs shaking as he thought about what awaited him on Planet Q. He had never considered that he would have to ever face this part of his past, but it seemed like once more life was making him its bitch.

Standing and gathering himself, Jim straightened his uniform before stepping out of the conference room and back onto the bridge. Issuing a command to plot their course to Planet Q, he stiffly sat in his chair ignoring the concerned eyes of his T'hy'la. He wasn't going to let this beat him. He was fucking James T. Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise and no matter what problem appeared before him, he faced it head on with reckless courage and determination.

Okay, a bit late but Happy Holidays to everyone and of course Happy New Year as well! Things have been hell for me lately. Drama with relatives and then getting sick, it was just a crappy holiday. But things are looking up so I decided to upload to celebrate. Hope you enjoy! Please remember to review!

~Seth

P.S! Okay I have two questions! 1.) In Birth of a Star, I contemplated having our trio adopt a pair of Vulcan twins into their family (Harry will have a baby, but the adopt happens before he gets pregnant). I'll probably do it anyway but I wanted to know what some of you thought. And 2.) Would anyone be willing to make a music video dedicated to Jim/Harry/Spock with the song Pieces by Red? I seriously think that song fits them so perfectly and the idea has been chewing on my brain for a while. Just thought I throw that out there!