'I can't even think of one good reason
Why I'm always thinking about leaving
It's not like everything's so horrible
We've been together for a few years now
And you know all my ins and outs
But everything's way too comfortable
From the moment I wake I plan my escape
I'm not scared
'Cause I know there's something out there waiting for me
And I swear that I'll find it someday, just wait and see
I don't care that you call me crazy
I can't stay 'cause I need room to breathe
There's nothing left to say, better sorry than safe'
Better Sorry Than Safe ~ Halestorm
Sakura smoothed her hair in the mirror again, for the ninth time in four minutes. Of course her appearance hadn't changed since the first time, and that hadn't stopped her from trying to perfect it.
Not entirely happy, but now too frustrated to try (for the moment anyway), Sakura picked up a glass of water and approached 'Kashi – kun'. She had inventively named her plant this after both her and Kakashi had received them as a gift from a client. He had looked happier than she had ever seen him when presented with this, and had even let her know something about himself; that he had killed his last plant, Mr Ukki. She knew straight away that she would never be able to look at a plant again without picturing Kakashi surrounded by dead greenery. Aaaaaaaaaannnd… Bingo! The plant was named Kashi-kun.
Now that her mind had unknowingly drifted and Kashi-kun was positively swimming, Sakura placed down the water glass and turned to analyse herself in the full length mirror opposite her bed. Her outfit was something that she was still very unsure of. She had tried quite a few combinations, and Ino had even dropped by to give her a few dresses to try. None of them had felt right, either clashing terribly with her hair or showing more of her legs than she was comfortable with.
And. Of course, no matter what she chose she would look like she had no chest.
She was currently wearing a low neck shirt in her signature red that showed off 'her' cleavage. The effect sadly wasn't even her, but a result of the push up bra she was wearing. Even then she didn't look well endowed. Good thing she wasn't planning on letting this get to the point this evening of taking her bra off, or he would be rather disappointed. Looking critically in the mirror, so was Sakura.
Torao was a very nice bloke who probably wouldn't even comment anyway. He constantly asked if she was ok with their relationship and was always willing to talk properly and spend time with her. She couldn't picture him ever doing anything to hurt her. She felt comfortable with him, but she knew deep down that comfort wasn't everything.
She would try and make this last, she would try not to seen hot and cold with him. He was genuinely decent, and honestly didn't deserve it. He, like her, would try to make it work.
Over an hour later, Sakura had changed her clothes twice more, drank some tea and beat up some custard creams. She didn't feel any tingly anticipation. She felt nothing.
Torao arrived at six on the dot, perfectly on time as always. He handed her a single red rose and greeted her politely, as always. Following routine, he leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek. There were no tingles running through her. As always, she felt nothing. She felt comfortable wrapped in his embrace. But she knew that comfort wasn't everything.
"Really? Wow… that's impressive…" It really was great hat her date had wandered off into a self-talk rampage, because this was quite rare for him and required minimal effort from her. He was too busy talking to realise that she really didn't give a damn. Sakura frowned as she took another sip of her drink. Shouldn't she want him to be attentive? Shouldn't she enjoy him hanging on her every word?
Sakura nodded politely as she tried to remember what he was talking about. She rifled through the brief snippets that had made it into her mind. Boring anecdote about crazy uncle, custom kunai, their future…
ANBU. Bingo.
"I'm sure that any team would be lucky to have you. Compassion is something found less and less in the field these days." Because it wasn't often needed, and used even less. As Sakura had found out.
Torao's hand reached across the table to entwine gently with Sakura's, as he gave a soft, understanding smile. "Thank you." He squeezed her fingers lightly. " I am certain that your team regard you with the same sentiments exactly. And I really hope that we can work together at some point."
Sakura choked slightly on the beverage that she had been sipping steadily, and her eyes widened involuntarily.
"What? As in… me join ANBU?" He just laughed quietly and leaned closer to her as he replied, using a napkin to dap away the tiny droplets of Bacardi that adorned her cheek.
"Yes. You could definitely pass." He grinned widely at her. "And we currently have a shortage of medics, as we have a very low ratio of women to men."
"What? So you're saying only women are medics? And that it's the only reason a woman would be in ANBU?" Sakura glared across the table, her moss coloured eyes hardened to the coldest jade. Who was he to judge? Who was he to think he knew anything about her?
'Well, he IS your boyfriend… Cha!' Inner Sakura conceded, doing a happy dance while holding up a picture of the ANBU insignia. 'Hell YEAH!'
"No, I am saying that a higher percentage of medics are female than male. And since men are as a general rule physically superior, they are more likely to pass the ANBU test."
"Yeah, well, you wouldn't think a bird of prey could take a small child, but it happens!" Sakura threw her napkin at the table and stormed off the restroom with a look that wished the receiver death.
As she hurriedly left she knew she'd already forgiven him. She always did. And despite her constant thoughts for the last two months of breaking up with him, it would probably be him that finally ended it. And, she thought cynically, probably when he finally got bored of her excuses to not put out.
A/N: Sorry for the shortness (again!). Thank you to:
Gleek221, Haruki Hitomi, crawfishlova, MySoulIsYoursTakeIt, Hannah Bowers and angel897
3Love 3 Love3Love :P
And yh, I've started sharing music with you. Try listening to it!