Chapter 24.
Stephenie Meyer...Insert dislaimer here about how she owns it all, and how I do not.
Sadly.
Posting this pre going to my Beta. Sorry really wanted to post it. I kinda like it.
OtA
Bella looked startled and took a miss step, correcting her footing and in some miracle remained upright.
"You're Teddy?" She tried unsuccessfully to maintain an even pitch to her voice.
"Um yeah, I am so sorry Bella, I tried to tell you and Zaf talked me out of it."
Little Jake looked back and forward between Edward and Bella, like he was watching a tennis match.
"But YOU are Teddy" She crossed her arms impatiently.
"Yes Bella, me Teddy, You Bella and this little ratbag is Tarzan who is strangling me like an anaconda" Edward smiled at Jake and tickled his side, causing him to giggle hysterically.
"Who is Tarzan?" inquired Jake.
"Tarzan is a stinky boy who runs around shirtless with big muscles and is
King of the Apes".
"Teddy I think you are fibbin', but that would be cool." Edward put him on the ground, mussed his hair up and pointed him to the kitchen.
"Hey little man how about you pop in there and tell Zaffy that I am here. Maybe she can be conned into making us some hot chocolate or something."
"Sure Teddy, I will use my manly charms on her." Jake turned around, winked at Edward and left the room.
"I did not teach him that. Ok maybe I did."
"You are Teddy. Why did Zafrina not tell me when she was doing your background checks?" Bella was tapping her foot, impatient to understand how she had not known this vital piece of information.
"...Because dear little Bella, I wanted to see you all put outta your britches. Look at you little cross mama. Tappy tappy with the foot. Ooh clever lawyer lady not so bright now is she Mr Teddy?" Zafrina's booming voice came into the room, her Jamaican accent adding to the mirth of the moment.
"Well ha ha you got me. The court is going to have a field day. They will make him do some other community service now, they'll extend his sentence. Our firm will be in deep deep doggy doo doo..."
"Oh hush child. They don't know he volunteer here already. And quite frankly I think they should forgive the man. Remember last year when I came home and my girlfriend was in bed with a man. Do you remember the tirade that I said how you heteros are all taken away the good women."
"No Zaff I have no recollection of any tirade." Bella was trying to be all lawyery and sensible, but Zaff was laying on her accent so thick it was so ridiculously hard not to find humour in her speech.
"Well if I had me a microphone then every man on this here earth would know how I feel. They just think they gots themselves a penis then they gots to use it. Anyway, the man here, he lose the plot for a day, he say some things that he no means, and its on public record until someone deletes the tape. He won't be the first man to make hasty comments in the heat of the hour, but he is only human. And Bella, he is one mighty fine man. If I was not so much into the ladies I would be admiring that fine piece of ass, instead you all bent outta shape! Enjoy your surprise Bella, this man's a catch. And I think he likes you girl!" With that Zafrina bumped her hip into Bella, effectively pushing her into Edwards arms as she left the room.
"My work here is done, booyachucka." Her deep gaffaws could be heard in the kitchen as she clunked around making hot chocolate.
"I didn't stand a chance really. Zaf has been telling me about you for a year now, and I have been trying to be the good boyfriend to Tanya, coming in on days when you weren't here and then after Tanya left, well I just didn't care to run into you. And then I found out you were the lawyer handling everything and it all got out of hand and I left it too long to let you know and well here we are." Edward was stunned that Bella had not moved out of his arms and was still standing with him. He had begun to absentmindedly rub his fingers up and down her back.
She slowly melted into him. Resistance was useless. Fate had handed her a good man, one who could manage to get a little boy to speak and to voice his fears and to interact with others again.
Men who are good with children are extra hot. Didn't the guy in that famous naked man with the baby photo screw something like 3000 women? Well there is your proof.
She put her hand on his face.
"I am sorry I ignored you, I am so embarrassed about Vegas, it just reinforces my whole V-card issue. I mean how could I forget if I slept with you? And then I was half naked and it was just ech..." Her voice trailed off into a whisper.
"Hey its ok, I mean you are one of the most gorgeous women I have ever met and Zaf and the others rave about you, and there was all that pressure, and I was trying not to be a dick and then I was half naked with you, I just felt like a jerk."
"Maybe we could start again?" She was thoroughly enjoying this closeness with him.
"Bella I need to get his court thing over, and we probably should tell them that I already volunteer here, but that I am very very willing to tell them that I will do the court ordered time. Jasper did all the arrangements and even he doesn't know that I come here of a weekend. Its my secret. Its how I redeem myself from being the dark lord of the microphone during the week."
"Wow so only one day of volunteering a week makes up for your week of jerkiness?" Bella had meant it to be a lighthearted joke. Edwards face fell and he held her gently by the shoulders, caressing her neck and staring straight into her face.
"I hate my job Bella and I am quitting. It was funny at first, but the consequences are just too far reaching. I hate myself most days and I am starting to think that DJ EC is starting to leak into my persona, and I don't want that anymore. I don't think I am a dick, but I am starting to cross the line. I would rather use my powers for good instead of evil."
Bella was touched. She couldn't believe that he had come to this resolution all by himself.
"You are going to quit? Really?"
"Yes. So from next month thats it, my contract ends and I am not renewing it."
"You being unemployed is the singularly sexiest thing I have ever heard." She slowly reached her arms up around his neck, standing on tip-toes she softly kissed his lips.
"OH NO TEDDY, She is going in for the kill, she is stranglin' ya like a conda! I will save you..." Jake ran and pounced on Bella.
-OtA-
Cockblocked by Jake. Not many chapters left crew. I even have a really crappy outtake for last chapter. I may have been high when writing it.