Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Star Trek or Harry Potter. They belong to J.J Abrams, Gene Roddenberry and J.K Rowling.

Warnings: Slash (male/male pairings), threesome, AU, violence, language, angst, character deaths, psychological/anxiety disorders, sexual situations, etc.

Pairings: Spock/Harry/Kirk, hints of Sulu/Chekov and Scotty/Uhura

86. Laughter

"Man I'm tired," Jim thought as he made his way back to his quarters. All he wanted was a shower and the chance to lie down in order to relax his stiff muscles. His shift had seemed much longer than normal or maybe it had just been his own restlessness getting in the way. Despite the fact that it had been a few weeks since dealing with his past and Kodos, Jim could still feel the lingering of anger and the thirst for revenge. He even had a few nightmares since then, ones that had him waking up in the middle of the night sweating and panting. It was usually either about Tarsus IV or about Kodos and Lenore killing Spock and Harry. Between the lack of proper sleep and his work, it was really screwing Jim's mind.

"I need to let this go, it's time to move on," he coaxed himself. But it was difficult, extremely so. No one realized how tempting it had been for Jim to set his phaser to kill, to disregard orders and just kill the man who had haunted his footsteps for years now. And he would have had a viable excuse too! Spock and Harry had been in danger, Jim would have reacted in order to protect his men. But he hadn't, instead he had stunned the bastard and let him live along with his psychotic daughter. And a small part of his mind had wondered if it was the right thing to do.

His fear slowly ate away at him; what if they escaped? What if they somehow got out and decided to hunt him down? And not just him, but people he was close to; what if they tried to hurt McCoy or Teddy or Spock or Harry? What ifs spun around in his head every waking moment creating scenarios that made his heart race and his fear would grow.

Pausing in his walk, Jim took a deep breath to calm himself. He knew logically he was being silly, that he was just psyching himself out and adding more stress than what was necessary to his life. But it was a habit, a disease that had festered in him since he was small. Jim had grown up expecting the worse, expecting people to leave him whether by their own choice or not. His dad had died, his mom was always away and his brother never looked back. Even the people he had known on Tarsus IV had died; his aunt and uncle who had been kind to him, his best friend Tony from across the street, that pretty girl Emily down the road who had a crush on him, the little ones he fought to take care of; they had all left him alone in the end.

"Harry and Spock would never leave me," he reassured himself. At least not of their own free will, but death couldn't be controlled or avoided no matter how much a person may fight. His dad had been a testament to that fact. You can't cheat death.

The sound of childish giggling caught his attention, drawing him from his thoughts as he looked over his shoulder. A moment later Teddy turned the corner followed by Harry, the young boy smiling widely as he continued to laugh while his father gazed down at him with a gentle smile. Jim observed the pair taking in the warmth and happiness they exuded despite all that they had been through. And the blond was grateful to have them in his life because they made things much more tolerable for him, they took away the strain and the fears of his life if only for a few precious moments.

Brown eyes caught sight of him and Teddy's smile stretched wider, "Papa!"

Smiling Jim held out his arms chuckling as the boy he came to see as his own son rushed over and jumped into his embrace. He swung Teddy around and held him close basking in his gleeful laughter. Harry chuckled as he walked over at a more relaxed pace, his own smile widening a tiny bit more. Reaching up to brush his fingers across Jim's face, Harry murmured, "You spoil him."

"He deserves it, Teddy's a good kid," Jim countered hitching his son higher against his chest. Reaching out he pulled Harry close and brushed their lips together, savoring the scent of soap and apples. Pulling away he questioned, "What were you two giggling about?"

"Oh Teddy's just excited to talk to Joanna today."

"Is that so?"

"Yup! She's my best friend Papa!"

Jim grinned, "Oh really? Well it figures the next generation is going to have another epic Kirk-McCoy friendship." Teddy nodding quickly while Harry tilted his head, but the warmth never left his features. Soon perhaps, not tomorrow certainly but soon it might happen. Noticing the absence of their other lover, Harry inquired, "Where's Spock?"

"Ah, he's down in the labs helping with an experiment of some sort. He probably won't be back until later."

Harry nodded as they continued their trek to their quarters, laughter filling the hall as they went. He was pleased that Jim seemed more relaxed and at ease, he could tell that he was still troubled over what had happened. And he couldn't blame him, such deep and emotional scars never fully went away; they remained with you until your dying days. That's why he would always be there for Jim, because they were the same.

Glancing at the wizard by his side, Jim smiled at his presence. Harry returned the gesture reaching out to take his hand and squeezed it to show his support. Jim smiled wider feeling relief and security in that one act. The blond knew that death couldn't be avoided and that inevitably it would take people he loved away from him. But until then, Jim would love his family and friends as much as he could. Seeing the warmth in those green eyes and hearing Teddy's innocent laughter reminded Jim that he had to cherish each moment he had with the ones he loved. So he won't waste his time worrying and fretting over something he couldn't change. Instead he'll hold them close and enjoy the memories of smiles, kisses, hugs and laughter.

Please review! Thanks!

~Seth