Chapter 75: Confessions
Anise stared out the Albiore's window, watching the puffy white clouds in the distance, occasionally squinting her eyes and trying to make funny shapes out of them. She'd already spotted two that looked like the Colonel; but the once cotton-like balls drifting through the sky were steadily becoming stray wisps and that didn't make for much fun. Not that playing guess-the-shape with clouds could ever be classified as "fun", but she had already polished off all the books Natalia had brought with her and the former Fon Master Guardian was officially bored. Between the time they'd spent in Baticul and the fact that there was finally no one ready to murder someone else at a moment's notice, Anise had forgotten how painfully dry long trips could get. She just had to keep reminding herself it sure as hell was better than walking.
She wasn't the only one who could use something to do though. Guy looked about as excited as she was, but he seemed to be content watching the newest lovebirds in their conversation. Seriously, Luke and Tear were so into each other the Albiore could crash and they wouldn't notice. Anise shuddered at her own reference. While she could safely say she was pretty much over her fear of flying, she definitely still had a healthy respect for falling out of the sky.
Anise let her gaze drift from Luke and Tear to the other two lovebirds; not that you'd know it from the way Asch and Natalia were sitting. Both looked bored and while they'd been enjoying each other's company enough to make Anise suspect they'd settled their differences, they were both being unusually quiet. Come to think of it, they'd both been quiet since leaving Baticul. Maybe they felt bad for not staying behind to help? Though from what she'd heard the King had given them his blessing; he'd practically forced them to go. Oh well, Anise sighed; whatever was eating away at them, at least they had each other.
"So," Anise finally spoke up, her levels of boredom reaching a critical point. "Does someone want to remind me exactly why we're headed to Grand Chokmah?"
"Well, we're going to see Peony for starters," Natalia offered. "We said that we would report to him regarding the miasma on Father's behalf."
"Yes," Tear agreed. "Also, Eldrant is currently floating over Malkuth waters, so there's a chance we might be able to get information from him with regards to any activity going on up there while we've been busy worrying about the miasma."
"We need to know as much as we can," Luke said, his voice carrying an unusual bounce to it. "We have both halves of the Key of Lorelei now; it's time we put a stop to Master Van once and for all. We can't afford to do this carelessly; this is going to be our one and only chance."
Anise rolled her eyes. For crying out loud... despite how serious Luke's words were, the kid was practically on cloud nine. "What has you in such a good mood all of a sudden?" She asked.
"Nothing really," Luke shrugged. "Why shouldn't I be in a good mood?"
"No reason, I guess," Anise replied shrugging it off but getting all the more suspicious that there was some sort of reason he was so cheery, other than the fact he and Tear had barely left each other's side since they left Baticul. She stole a glace over at Asch, but his neutral expression didn't offer any kind of clues. He really had been quiet lately... what was up? It was weird to have the two of them in such opposite states of mind. Anise chuckled; then again, maybe Luke had won a bet between them or something. That would definitely explain it.
"So, Jade," Guy began, unsure how much he really wanted to pull the Necromancer from his reading, "Did you learn anything interesting from those reports?"
Luke managed to distract himself from trying to figure out why Anise kept grinning at him like that, to notice that Jade had put a very significant dent in the stack of reports he'd collected during their brief stay over in St. Binah. Luke couldn't say he honestly minded the detour and since it was Jade that had asked, no one had seen any reason to protest. It really wasn't too far out of their way and Jade was right in assuming that since it was a military outpost, they'd have information on any military operations involving Eldrant. Luke was impressed that the General there had been able to put together as much as he had for Jade in just one night.
What Luke had really loved though, was seeing just how far the city had come in its repairs. Slowly but surely, it was starting to look like the city that had awed him the first time he'd set foot there. Falling into the Qliphoth had made a real mess of it, and at the time Luke had doubted it would ever recover, but now he could see how wrong he'd been. He'd underestimated the power of the citizens and they had done an incredible job restoring their city. To see things slowly returning to normal made him happier than he could begin to explain.
"Quite a few interesting things," Jade replied, finishing his scan of the page he'd been on before setting the report down on the empty seat beside him. "It seems the military has made more than a couple attempts to approach Eldrant but each time they encountered the same interference and were forced to withdraw."
"Interference?" Natalia inquired. "Was it the God-Generals?"
"Hardly," Jade replied, adjusting his glasses. "They may be skilled, but even the God-Generals would have a difficult time staving off half the Malkuth navy. No they all describe encountering a sort of shield surrounding the island. Their ships couldn't even get close, and all attempts at long-range fire were deflected."
"What about approaching it by air?" Ginji called back from the cockpit. "Do you want to try landing there?"
"I don't think that would be wise," Jade answered. "The reports describe trying to approach the island like trying to pass through the Planet Storm itself. There is also every indication that the island is shielded from all sides, not just against the approach of ships. The Albiore is sturdily built, but I doubt even it could survive turbulence of that intensity."
"Is it even possible for Van to be using the Planet Storm as a shield?" Asch asked.
"I'm not entirely certain," he confessed. "But it isn't beyond the realm of possibility, especially given his in-depth knowledge of other Dawn Age technologies. He knew enough about the operation and peculiarities surrounding the passage rings; if it is possible to manipulate the Planet Storm to that extent, I don't doubt he would know how."
"Well that's just great!" Anise stated in exasperation. "If that's the case, just what are we supposed to do? It's not like we can go shut off the Planet Storm!"
"The Planet Storm is a major source of fonons," Tear agreed. "Without it there wouldn't be enough fonons to power fon machines or cast fonic artes. There would be no energy source for anyone in the world."
"Yeah but if it's that or letting Master Van destroy everything," Luke intervened. "We may not have much choice."
"Is it even possible to shut the Planet Storm off in the first place?" Natalia inquired.
"Well, according to the legend, the Planet Storm is powered by a massive glyph that Yulia carved at both the Absorption and Radiation Gates using the Sword of Lorelei," Tear explained.
"If the Sword was used to carve the glyphs, I wonder if the Jewel would have the power to disperse them." Luke speculated.
"It's a bit early to jump to conclusions," Jade cut them off. "As of yet, we don't have any conclusive evidence that the Planet Storm is even involved beyond the speculation of the navy's commanding officers."
"So what do you suggest?" Guy asked.
"Dist is currently being held in Grand Chokmah; I believe he may be the perfect person to... interrogate regarding the nature of Eldrant's shields and how to get around them," the Colonel said with a grin that could give them all nightmares, adjusting his glasses so they caught the light in that don't-even-think-of-crossing-me way of his.
"I don't know if I want to see that," Luke muttered with a shiver.
"What are you crazy?" Anise asked. "I do!"
Being in Grand Chokmah at the peak of winter was a strange experience for Luke. Of course, what Grand Chokmah considered "winter" was more like spring as far as the Baticul-born noble was concerned, but the sight of a gentle frost along the water's edge and lack of bright green foliage still seemed to transform the city he was accustomed to visiting. Luke shivered, it wasn't all that cold by any means; the ocean on which the city was built staved off the coldest weather, but having come from Baticul where summer was in full swing, the stark difference left Luke wishing he'd grabbed his cloak before venturing out.
Pulling his coat a little tighter around him, Luke let out a huge sigh. He'd forgotten just how exhausting dealing with Peony could be, and they had spent a long time talking with him. Jade didn't help by giving him a technical rundown of how they'd eliminated the miasma that even Luke, who'd been the one to actually do it, couldn't follow. Then they had gotten onto the topic of Eldrant and what had been occurring on the front. Though Peony and his advisors went into infinitely more detail, they essentially told them the same thing Jade had surmised from the reports in St. Binah. It was sounding more and more like Master Van was somehow using the Planet Storm as a shield.
What concerned Luke most of all, was the reports that some of the small islands surrounding Eldrant had vanished. He couldn't understand it, how did an island just vanish? Jade explained that it was probably a matter of Master Van slowly consuming the original world to fuel the building of his replica one... but it was almost unfathomable. It absolutely couldn't be allowed! They had to stop Master Van before things really got beyond repair. The small islands were uninhabited, but what if it eventually reached Daath or Grand Chokmah? If the land just disappeared, what would happen to the people? Time was working against them... in more ways than one.
But for now, it was a waiting game. Jade was right in that Dist held the key to getting to Eldrant and the Colonel was off dealing with the paperwork involved in seeing him. So Luke and Asch were left wandering the city together, looking for a way to kill some time for a few hours until they were scheduled to meet up. They'd already been wandering for almost half an hour and Asch had yet to say a thing. Luke thought he'd give his sibling a bit of space, but Asch's silence was really starting to worry him.
"What's the matter?" Luke asked, trying to keep his tone as nonchalant as possible. "What has you so down in the dumps lately? And before you say nothing, don't. Something is definitely bothering you."
Asch turned his head towards his sibling and gave him a very pointed look.
"Oh," Luke returned to staring at the ground. Of course, he knew what had Asch down, he'd just dared to hope it was something else... something simpler, something that was actually possible to fix. Talking to Jade a bit more in depth and looking into it on their own hadn't given either of them any shred of hope. It was inevitable, and they had both come to the same conclusion, the same morbid acceptance: they were going to die.
Luke could feel that shadow looming over him, the weight on his heart that seemed to intensify as it fed off his sibling's dreariness and despondence. No... Luke shook his head, trying to shed the darkness that had clouded it. He absolutely refused to be like this! He was not going to spend the last of his life wallowing around; he wasn't going to waste that precious time on regret and disappointment. He was going to enjoy every moment he had left, and he would build memories worthy of remembrance.
"Oh that," Luke picked up, brushing the fact off as easily as some dust from a countertop. "Try not to think about it so much. You're thinking about it all the time and you really bring everyone down."
Asch didn't offer a reply.
"Well," Luke said tauntingly, prodding his sibling both mentally and verbally. "At least you aren't doing the same thing you did the last time you figured you weren't going to be around much longer."
"Please," Asch finally answered with a roll of his eyes. "I think I learnt my lesson last time."
"That never stopped you before," Luke shot. His smile widened when he saw a hint of a grin tugging at Asch's lips.
"No, pushing everyone away never works because some people are just too damn stubborn."
"And proud of it!" Luke declared earning a chuckle from his sibling.
"How does it not bother you?" Asch finally asked.
"Well I figure there isn't much point in worrying about things you can't change," Luke shrugged. "It's like being really upset that the sky is blue. No matter what your feelings are, the sky isn't turning green anytime soon, so you might as well enjoy it for what it is."
"I guess that's true," Asch agreed. "You could stand to tone it down a bit though," he added. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you're thrilled about the whole thing."
"Try and make me," Luke teased.
"I might have to," Asch challenged with a grin. "I bet I could get the others to help; I don't think anyone could stand another day cooped up in the Albiore with you and your personal beam of sunshine."
"You're just jealous," Luke stuck his tongue out.
"Hard to be jealous when there isn't anything there to want."
"Jerk!"
Asch started to laugh and Luke quickly followed suit. The older redhead let out a sigh and allowed the clouds looming over his thoughts to be brushed away, knowing they'd return, but enjoying the reprieve none-the-less. Honestly... where would he be without his little brother? As annoying as Luke's endless cheer got at times, he was glad there was someone around to remind him to keep things in perspective.
Though being well adjusted probably wasn't the only reason Luke had been so happy lately. Whether his little brother realized it or not, Asch suspected most of it had to do with a certain young melodist he'd been spending more time with than ever.
"What?" Luke finally asked, noticing the way Asch was staring at him.
Asch didn't answer for a second, only stared a Luke for a long hard moment. Finally with a sigh he said, "I think you should tell Tear. You know you'll regret it if you don't."
Asch saw every trace of a smile fade from Luke's face, his expression becoming defensive in a flash.
"Why should I?" Luke demanded "You're not telling Natalia!"
"Natalia knows I love her," he replied with entirely too much satisfaction.
Luke's face suddenly turned beet red. He tried to stutter a reply but came out with nothing but an incomprehensible mess. Asch's grin spread from ear to ear.
"Now who's the one thinking about it all the time?"
Luke opened his mouth but it was obvious he couldn't come up with any reasonable reply because he shut it again and crossed his arms.
"Cheater..." he mumbled through his pouting expression.
"Hey guys," Anise greeted the boys from behind. Luke and Asch both turned around to face their friend who seemed unusually hesitant around them.
"Hey Anise," Luke replied cheerfully, his face still somewhat red from Asch's earlier commentary. At least at this point he could almost blame it on the temperature. "What's up?"
"Well... It's just that..." Anise trailed off.
"Anise, what's the matter?" Luke asked worriedly.
"In Daath you told me Ion had left you a message you could only give me in Grand Chokmah!" Anise spat out in a single breath. "I mean... if it's not too much trouble... Jade is still busy getting things together. Could you tell me what it is now?"
Luke smiled gently. "Of course. Follow me."
"Would you mind at all if we tagged along?" Natalia asked.
"We don't have much else to do," Tear added.
"Sure," Luke replied, his smile widening. Asch simply shook his head but offered Natalia his arm. She was smiling as mischievously as he was at the oblivious couple.
"What do you mean?" Anise asked. "Where are we going?"
"It's not a message I can tell you," Luke provided as he began to lead them through the narrow streets of the city's inner areas. "It's somewhere Ion asked me to take you."
Anise spent the better part of the next ten minutes racking her brain, trying to even fathom where Ion could have wanted her to go. She didn't know where they were going, she recognized the street they were on but couldn't think of anything worth noting down here, just a bunch of small cafes and fruit shops. Maybe Luke was just lost, yeah that must be it. He probably couldn't quite remember where whatever this thing he had to show her was. It was the only idea that remotely plausible, never mind probable.
Falling behind her four companions, Anise watched Asch, with his arm around Natalia looking questioningly at Luke. He never said anything, but the way his expressions shifted, and he kept stealing glances at her, Anise could surmise he was getting an explanation from Luke. She grumbled; there were days she really hated that connection of theirs.
Finally Luke stopped them in front of a small shop on the corner. The place didn't look very big, but it seemed fairly well kept. The signs above the door identified it as a fruit and vegetable shop, something that was confirmed by the empty display boxes that lined the shop exterior. In the summer they would be filled with colourful fruits and vegetables from Engeve but for now they remained bare, making the shop less inviting. In the window several bunches of colourful fruits hung enticingly above some freshly made pastries, colourfully decorated with various icings. What in the...
"What are we doing here?" Anise asked. "Not to be rude or anything, Luke, but if you want to stop for a snack, can it wait?"
"No, this is it," Luke replied.
"What?" Anise was genuinely confused by this point. "Why did Ion want you to take me here?"
Luke's gentle smile never wavered. "Go inside and you'll see. We'll wait for you out here."
Anise had never felt quite as uneasy as she did opening the door to the small shop. As soon as she entered the smell of freshly baked bread filled her nostrils and the chime of a small bell signalling her entrance rang. Anise took a few small steps forward; the place seemed completely deserted.
"Hello! Welcome to-"
The familiar voice sent every thought the former Fon Master Guardian might have had to a screeching halt. It... it couldn't be... Anise felt every muscle in her body begin to shake.
"M-m-Mama?"
"Oh Anise!" Pamela flew around the counter and the next thing Anise knew, she was trapped in her mother's embrace. "I was so worried about you! After I heard what happened to the Fon Master I couldn't help but think something may have happened to you too! I'm so glad you're okay!"
This was a dream; there was no other possible explanation for it. Anise felt her heart race and her stomach turn into knots. Any minute now she was going to wake up and be in her bed, still alone in the world; still alone in a reality where her parents had starved by the roadside. It just... it couldn't be real. She'd destroyed her family with her treason; she didn't dare hope she could have been forgiven for that... Yet the seconds passed by, and the illusion never faded.
"But how? What are you doing here?" Anise managed to ask. "H-How did you get here from Daath?"
"It was the Fon Master who brought us here," she explained. "He told us we had to leave the Order and that it was very urgent. He introduced us to His Majesty and requested that he find us a place to stay and work and we ended up here. The Fon Master told us we couldn't rely on the Score to provide for us anymore, and that we would have to provide for ourselves so as not to be a burden. We always thought it was such a blessing to be able to rely on the Score, we didn't realize how difficult we were making things for others."
"M-Mama," Anise felt the tears burning behind her eyes; their coolness as they fell from her cheek into her mother's cream apron.
"Oh Anise, I'm so glad you're alright. Papa and I are so proud to see you out there fending for yourself."
"Papa's alright too?"
"He's fine too dear, he's off running errands for the shop owner."
"Papa's running errands?"
"Yes, the shop owner has been very kind to us. He showed us how to do everything properly and he even lets us stay in one of the rooms above the shop here."
Anise tried to choke back the tears but failed; even hearing the bell above the door, signalling that the others had come inside, she didn't care. Anise buried her head in her mother's warm embrace and sobbed.
"Anise, Anise," Pamela gently stroked her daughter's back. "What's the matter dear?"
"I- I-" Anise's chest heaved. "I thought you'd starved! I thought I'd lost you!"
"Shhhh," Anise's mom began to gently rock her. "Come now dear, the Fon Master wasn't like that at all. He would never leave anyone to starve or be without somewhere to go. He was a wonderful person."
"I know..." Anise managed. "I know he was."
Anise's crying increased in intensity. Tear smiled and turned to Luke. "I think we should let them be for now."
"Yeah," Luke agreed.
And as silently as they'd entered, Luke and his friends left Anise with her family.
The dungeons in Malkuth's military headquarters were surprisingly well lit. Not that Natalia was quite certain exactly what she was expecting, the term 'dungeon' had always lent itself to the image of something dark, wet and hostile. She'd always been scared to venture in the castle dungeon when she had been a child and even now she seldom saw any reason to go down there. Still, this place was a far cry from the ancient crypts they'd been held in when they'd been captured in Daath. It may be a dungeon, but at least it was still civil.
Natalia followed along behind her fiancé, unsure what to expect from the impending encounter with the former God-General. Did Jade truly think that Dist would provide them with the information that they needed? The Colonel had told them reports stated Dist as cooperative and not making and attempts at escape since his arrest. Still, it all seemed a bit suspicious to her. Even if Dist had no particular loyalty towards Van, certainly he would fear retribution for betraying them. To tell the enemy how to enter what must certainly be their base was no small matter. Were he to do so, it could well mean his life at the hands of his former allies, even despite his imprisonment. What then did Jade intend to do to force this information out of him? Natalia wasn't sure it was something she even wanted to know.
Dist's cell was located deep within the military complex, and the security surrounding him was no laughing matter. There was no doubt they'd factored in his previous escape when they'd made the decision as to where to hold him. The cells here had no windows like some of the lower security cells did, no cool breeze wafted in off the ocean, but the room was still well kept, lit by several bright fonstones set strategically about the room. The cell itself seemed a decent size and it was somewhat of a relief to see that the man was being treated fairly, as one would expect of someone with his crimes.
"What is it now?" the researcher asked upon hearing their entrance, but as soon as he turned to see exactly whom he was addressing, his mood, if possible, deteriorated even further.
"Hello Saphir," Jade stated, his voice stern and unwavering. Natalia recognized it as what Luke had dubbed Jade's "business voice". She was certainly inclined to agree, he had such a powerful and authoritative aura that she couldn't imagine anyone dreaming of being uncooperative.
Well, anyone other than Dist.
"What do you want Jade," Dist sneered displeasingly. "Come all the way down here to mock me? To rub my failures in my face like you always do?"
"I want information from you," Jade continued, ignoring the accusation. "I want to know about the shields surrounding Eldrant, as well as how to disable them."
"And why should I bother telling you that?" Dist asked. "There's nothing else you could possibly take away from me. I see no reason to tell you how to destroy my last great creation."
"No, I think we all know how your last 'great creation' ended," Jade reciprocated. "It ended in failure."
"Shut up," Dist said defensively.
"It ended in failure just like all your other creations ended in failure," Jade continued heartlessly. "Like this creation will end in failure. Whether you tell us or not won't change this; but it may result in less pain on your behalf."
"Shut up Jade! My inventions are not failures! They will not fail!"
"They will fail," Jade cut Dist off, his towering figure looming condescendingly over the helpless researcher. "Each and every one will fail and the reason they will fail is because you are a failure."
"Shut up!"
"Jade, stop it!" Luke jumped in, putting himself between his friend and the former God-General. "It's not fair to keep picking on him for things that have already happened. He can't change what he's done in the past. Everyone makes bad choices; it isn't fair of you to harass him like that!"
The Necromancer let out an irritated sigh, and the hand that went to rub his temple belied his frustration. Clearly he'd forgotten to explain the concept of interrogation to their local defender of justice.
"Thank you, Luke," Jade replied shortly and the young noble shrunk back at his displeasure. Their eyes met and Luke quickly removed himself, fearing incurring anymore of the Colonel's anger. At least Luke was easily dissuaded; if this had turned into another one of the causes he had to stand for in that stubborn head of his, Jade would have not enjoyed dealing with Asch after he'd disassembled the monarch's little brother.
"Now-"
"You'll never get past Eldrant's shields," Dist cut the Necromancer off. "They were designed to harness the power of the Planet Storm and use it to create a turbulence that no ship can pass through."
"How can we get there then?" Natalia inquired.
"You can't," Dist replied.
"Surely you must come and go from there," Tear stated. "There must be some way through the shields."
"Short of someone on the inside letting you in, the only way you're going to get past them is if you shut the Planet Storm off!" Dist answered with a moderate degree of satisfaction. "I designed them to be completely impenetrable from the outside. It's completely impossible, you'd be better off just to give up now. We're all doomed to fall victim to Van's world anyways."
"What do you mean by that?" Tear asked. "My brother intends to abandon you for your failure?"
"What I'm saying is it doesn't matter if he abandons me or not, all paths end in death; so why not end in a manner worthy of one's existence?"
"Even his allies..." Guy mumbled.
"We're as bound to the Score as any of the other originals," Dist stated. "His goals won't be a reality until each and every original, including himself, is dead."
"That's so cruel," Natalia gasped.
"Then what was the point of him trying to get Guy and Tear to join him?" Luke asked. "He made it sound as if they would live if they came along. If everyone was going to die anyway, why bother?"
"A bit of his own selfishness," Dist shrugged. "He wanted to spend the last of his time with the people he felt mattered to him. I don't particularly care. Working with him got me closer to my goals; that's all that mattered to me."
"Even with what he's trying to do?" Guy asked.
"I said it already," Dist stated, his tone annoyed at being forced to repeat himself. "All paths end in death. Whether it's a death for his world or a death as written in the Score, it doesn't really matter in the end."
"That's why you were so desperate to try and make the replica of your Professor, wasn't it?" Luke asked. "You wanted to make sure you'd at least tried to achieve that one dream before the end."
"I- It doesn't matter what you do," Dist folded his arms defiantly, turning his head away from the group though not quick enough to hide the embarrassment on his face. "You'll never get through Eldrant's shields! It's just not possible."
"Well," Luke said with a sigh. "I guess it looks like we're going to be turning off the Planet Storm."
"What?" Dist practically cried out.
"This isn't exactly going to fly that smoothly," Asch commented, ignoring the eccentric researcher.
"Yes," Jade agreed. "We're talking about altering the very foundation upon which our current society sits; a revolution on the scale that has not occurred since Yulia's time."
"In other words, it's a political nightmare," Guy surmised.
"No problem," Asch said with a hint of sarcasm. "Politics are my specialty."
"Indeed," Natalia stepped up. "I'll assist with the negotiations on Kimlasca's side as well."
"Then I guess that leaves us with proposing the idea to Peony," Guy said. "This isn't going to be easy."
"No one ever said it would be," Asch refuted. "But it's something that has to be done. After coming this far we aren't going to stop now."
"You're all out of your minds!" Dist exclaimed so loudly that he finally caught the group's attention. "If you shut off the Planet Storm there won't be any source of renewable fonons! Fontech would become almost unusable; forget what would happen to the fonists and fonic arts!"
"Perhaps, but it isn't as if the effects will become apparent immediately," Jade retorted. "There would be a few years before any changes would begin to become apparent."
"If Belkend can do anywhere near the work they did with the miasma, I don't doubt they'll be able to develop alternate sources of energy," Asch reasoned.
"I agree, and they'd have plenty of motivation to do it too," Guy said. "It'll be hard for Fonists in the meantime though."
"Those with enough talent will still be able to use fonic artes," Jade said with a shrug. "Those without will have to find a new means of sustaining themselves. I imagine Seventh Fonists in particular will have a difficult time."
"With the cessation of Score readings, there is already a good deal of Seventh Fonists out of job," Natalia pointed out. "The Order of Lorelei has done an excellent job managing them; I don't think this is a challenge that would be impossible to overcome."
"It's not a matter of whether we can overcome it," Luke pointed out. "We have to overcome it. We can't just ignore what Master Van is doing; it has to stop. The future beyond that is something we can work towards once we know we have that future."
"Well said, Luke," Guy patted his friend on the shoulder. "Well said."
"We really ought to get going," Natalia spoke up. "There's a great deal of work to do before we can advance any further in this, and it seems that time is working against us once again."
"You're crazy..." Dist muttered in disbelief, completely stupefied by the blind determination of this band of idiots. "You're all insane..."
Luke turned his head, smiling over his shoulder at the former God-General while his friends began filing up the narrow staircase. "We're just not the type to give up," he said simply. "If we're going down, we're going to go down fighting."
"Even when it's pointless?"
"Especially when it's pointless," Luke replied with a grin. "Thanks for helping us," he added. "Once you've served your sentence here, I wish you all the luck. I'm sure you'll figure out what you're really looking for."
Luke turned around to see Guy and Asch both waiting patiently for him to finish. Luke jogged over to join them. He wasn't sure exactly why, but he felt really sorry for Dist. Even though in the back of his mind he knew that Dist had done countless terrible things, he recognized that look in Dist's eyes. That fear of the unknown, of not knowing where your place in the world was anymore; the feeling of being so completely and utterly lost that to give up would be a blessing. He'd been there, he knew how dark that road could become; so maybe, just maybe, he could share with the former God-General something he'd received from his friends time and time again: hope.
"The 24th of Shadow-redecan!"
"What?" Luke turned around, confused at the random date Dist had just shouted after him. Both Asch and Guy also stopped. "What about it?"
"You didn't know what day you were born on, right? So there!" Dist punctuated his point by crossing his arms and embarrassingly turning his back to the bars of his cell and his last few visitors. A smile spread widely across Luke's face.
"Hey, that wasn't all that long ago," Guy pointed out. "I guess that means you're officially 8 years old," he added ruffling Luke's hair.
"Yeah, I guess so," he replied cheerfully. He was 8 years old! And yet... the satisfaction behind his smile all but vanished and while the expression remained, Luke suddenly felt completely empty inside.
He was 8 years old.
He wondered if he would ever make it to 9.
The dark hallways of Malkuth's palace offered Luke little solace. He'd been wandering aimlessly for almost an hour now, no goal in mind, just hoping that the motion would offer him some peace. It surprised the young noble just how unsettled he'd become now that Asch wasn't around. His older brother had left over two weeks ago with Natalia to go propose their radical idea of stopping the Planet Storm to Baticul's court, and while Luke knew full well that Jade and Guy both still had their hands full here in Malkuth; he still hated sitting around and doing nothing. He hated that he lacked the power or the knowledge to help either side.
Yet Luke knew that wasn't the only reason he was so unsettled. He missed talking to Asch, missed their casual chats about nothing, the time they'd steal away from the others, the brief times he could get his mind to stop thinking about his fate. Talking with his other friends wasn't the same... because even when they didn't even remotely broach the topic, deep down, Luke knew he was lying to them. In every moment, every conversation, all he could think about was that he had to hide the fact that he was dying from them, that he could never be completely honest. That guarded feeling, that wall he'd set up left him feeling so isolated; Asch was really the only person he could genuinely talk to without hiding anything, or pretending to be happy when he wasn't.
Jade knew the truth too, of course, but Jade has his own worries, namely trying to convince Malkuth's court to go along with an unbelievably radical plan. He didn't have the time or the need to listen to Luke whine about something inevitable.
Maybe it would just be easier to be honest, to tell the others the truth about his condition. Luke knew full well what they would say to him if they found out he was keeping secrets again, and he wanted to tell them the truth! He really did! He didn't want the last times he spent with his friends to be a lie... It was just... it was just that he was scared. No, scared didn't even begin to cover it, he was terrified. He was terrified at the thought of dying, of disappearing forever. He knew now that all the talk he'd done, to the others and to himself about being ready to sacrifice himself for the miasma had been a lie. He hadn't really understood death, but now that he did, that knowledge haunted his steps in the depth of the night when there was no one around.
Luke knew he could never tell the others; far stronger than the desire to tell the truth, was the fear of what would come of that truth. No matter how hard they tried, Luke knew his friends would look at him differently, treat him differently and every time they looked at him with that pity in their eyes, he'd be reminded again that he was going to die. He couldn't handle that. He wouldn't be able to find reason to get out of bed each morning.
Luke's pace picked up; he strode down the hallways, trying to escape the shadows of his mind. He just needed something to do, a way to distract himself. If he was like this when Asch got back tomorrow, he knew there was no way he could keep face for his older brother. As hard as he was finding this, Asch was taking it just as hard and Luke had made it his mission to keep his brother from being depressed. It gave him reason to always look on the positive side, a motivation behind the cheer he'd been determined to express. He just needed to calm himself down.
Walking by one of the empty rooms, the outline of something familiar caught Luke's eye as it sat in the moonlight. Taking a closer look Luke could already feel himself calm down a bit as memories, fond and not-so-fond, all came back to him. Running his hand along the black stained hardwood, Luke knew exactly what he could do.
It had been a long time...
Tear quietly slid down one of the palace's many corridors, putting every effort into not disturbing anyone who might trying to sleep down here. The young melodist knew little of the building's layout beyond the main halls and the guest rooms, for all she knew this was where the servants slept. Other than trying to be inconspicuous, Tear was trying to figure out what in all of Auldrant Luke would be doing down here. Anise had kindly directed her this way after having seen Luke follow the same path earlier, but Tear still couldn't imagine why.
Whatever his reasons were for wandering the castle at night, they were making him difficult to track down. Tear wanted to find him because she needed to talk to him. She'd ignored it for the past little while, but she just couldn't shake the feeling that there was something he wasn't telling her, and she was ready to confront him about it.
Before Tear could continue to formulate her resolve to get answers from her companion, the most beautiful melody reached her ears. Soft at first, the sparse notes increased in volume and power as they began to run together in harmony. It was unlike any piece she'd ever heard before, and it carried with it such a powerful sorrow. Tear could feel her heart ache as each note blended effortlessly into the next. She thought to herself, that if music could cry, this is what it would sound like.
Without even realizing what she was doing, Tear found herself following the sound, tracing the melody to a small room at the end of the hallway. The space was small, but not at all cramped. Two large windows opened out onto the garden and let moonlight pour into the room. The silver light danced off a dust laden piano, though the sound that came from it was as pure and as beautiful as if the instrument were brand new.
At the head of the piano, Luke sat; his fingers dancing effortlessly across the ivory and ebony keys. Tear could hardly believe it; she had no idea Luke had such a talent for music. He had more than talent though, he had a gift. His eyes were closed, his breathing rhythmic and in time to the song he played from memory. Tear simply leaned against the door frame and listened, wondering now more than ever what secrets Luke hid beneath his cheerful exterior.
Because no one that happy, could play a song so heartbreakingly sad.
The song picked up in intensity, never losing its gentle or disconsolate tones. Luke never once looked up; Tear couldn't bring herself to look away. She was so completely captivated in the music that came from this one boy; this one person who seemed on the outside to be a ray of sunshine, unfaltering, unwavering, but whose heart played a song worthy of the greatest requiems. The piece came to an end, the last note hovering in the air before fading away into the night. Luke let out a deep breath and as that note died off, he opened his eyes. He stared at the keys for a moment before looking up. His eyes widened a bit when they met her own.
"Tear," Luke said, his voice betraying a hint of surprise. "I didn't know that you were listening."
"That was beautiful," Tear commented, stepping forward and sitting herself next to Luke on the bench. "Where did you learn to play like that?"
"My parents forced me to learn when I was a kid," Luke explained somewhat fondly. "They'd make me practice when Asch had to go up to the castle to do king stuff. My father would say I may as well do something useful with my time; I used to really hate it. But now...I'm kind of glad they made me keep it up."
"I am too," Tear said. "You have such a talent for it; it would have been a waste."
"I don't know if I'd say that." Luke blushed a little and chuckled as he ran his hand through his hair self-consciously.
Tear returned his smile, staring into that perfect mask he had on. Not one hint, not even an inkling that something wasn't right. His smile was genuine, his eyes alight, but the heart-breaking melody still lingered in the moonlight, telling of secrets concealed in the shadows. Tear knew she just couldn't let this go, yet, she still feared what she might see when that mask came off.
"So," Luke asked with a bounce in his voice. "What has you up so late?"
"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something?"
"What is it?" Luke asked worriedly. "What's going on?"
"No, it's nothing like that," Tear immediately replied. Stupid, of course he'd get worked up after she went through the effort to track him down so late at night. "I just wanted to ask you something, and I didn't think you would tell me if I asked around the others."
"What did you need to ask me then?" His expression changed from worry to one of confusion. Tear could feel her resolve begin to waver; she began to doubt herself. Luke seemed fine, he seemed better than fine... he finally seemed happy, free of heavy burdens and silent pressure. Was she completely off her mark?
"I want to know what's wrong with you lately," Tear finally said. Though every inch of her screamed at her to hold back, she knew that she couldn't. She cared for Luke, and she wanted him to be happy; but it was because she cared for him, that she knew she couldn't let this charade continue.
"Wrong?" Luke asked curiously. "What makes you think something is wrong?"
"You've been so cheerful lately," Tear said almost hesitantly. "You always do that when you're trying to hide something painful, or when you're keeping secrets. There are so many times when you pause before saying something, like you're trying to censor your words. If no one is around, you're always off in your own little world. What are you not telling me?"
Luke chuckled sadly. "You know me well," he commented.
"Luke, what's been bothering you lately?"
"I could ask you the same thing," Luke replied.
"What?" Tear was completely caught off guard as her query was sent right back at her. Luke thought she was hiding something? She wasn't... there wasn't anything she was trying to keep from him. What was he seeing in her, that she, herself didn't see?
"I could ask you," he repeated. "But I think I know the answer."
"I-I still don't know what you're talking about."
"It's Cantabile, isn't it? You haven't said a thing about her since her death, haven't approached the topic at all; even Guy's noticed. You're actually bothered about it, aren't you? And why shouldn't you be? The two of you used to be really close... right?"
Luke's words hit her like a punch to the gut. With everything that had happened so quickly, she'd buried those feelings. All that regret, the guilt she felt for not being able to stop her former instructor, she'd hidden it away where it wouldn't get in the way of what she knew she had to do. She didn't want to insult Luke or Asch... Cantabile had very narrowly missed murdering their mom, had almost killed them and yet... Yet she still...
"It's okay, you know," Luke whispered. "To feel sad, to grieve, there's nothing wrong with that."
"Cantabile was like a big sister to me," Tear finally said. "When I was really young, she would take care of me when my brother was away and my grandfather was busy. Even when she joined the Order she would come visit me; and when I first joined, she gave me extra lessons to help me catch up to the others. Major Legretta eventually took over most of my instruction, but Major Cantabile would always come around to see me. I know what she was doing was wrong... I know that things couldn't have ended any other way, but... I'm sorry, Luke."
"No, don't apologize. Those feelings aren't wrong," Luke replied. "There isn't anything wrong with regretting that she lost her life. She was someone very important to you, and I wish that her life didn't have to be sacrificed like that. I'm sure Guy feels the same way, she was someone special to you both."
"But she still tried to-"
"She fought for what she believed to be right," Luke cut Tear off. "In that way what she did really isn't so different from what we're doing. I'm sure there are lots of people out there that would hate me for some of the things I've done. Akzeriuth, the Tower of Rem... I've taken a lot of lives. Even all the Oracle Knights we fought were someone's son or daughter. That kind of loss comes with resentment and hatred."
"Luke..."
"But that's why we need to try our best. We need to try our hardest to make sure that no one else has to die. After all, saving the world is meaningless if you don't have anyone left to share the future with. It's pointless if you lose everything that matters in the process."
"Now you get it," Tear replied with a fond chuckle. She shuffled over, leaning her head against Luke's shoulder, letting her eyes trace the moonlight that danced off the ivory keys of the piano. He was so warm... That warmth penetrated her, seeping into her and bringing with it a peace that she hadn't felt in a very long time. She hadn't even realized how heavy of a burden those suppressed feelings had been until she'd finally been able to give voice to them. To let all that regret out and to hear Luke's comforting words in return was so liberating. Her heart felt lighter than it had in a very long time.
"I think maybe we should head to bed," Luke suggested after several minutes of silence.
"Not yet," she said, sighing deeply and resenting how she was about to destroy the moment of peace she'd found.
"You know Anise won't let us hear the end of it if we both sleep in until noon," Luke teased.
"You're not avoiding it Luke," Tear replied solemnly. "You're not going to dodge the question by talking about something else. You still haven't answered me about what's bothering you."
"You don't miss a thing." The expression on Luke's face was suddenly filled with regret.
"Is it that hard to trust me?" Tear asked.
"No! It's not like that at all!"
"Then what is it? What is it that you can't tell me, what are you so desperate to avoid?" She asked. "Why can't you confide in me? I just want to be there for you, like you've been there for me. I want to be the one you can turn to when you're bothered by something! I want you to-!" Tear cut herself off, her cheeks turning red as she realized what she had been about to say.
"N-Never mind," Tear picked up. "Forget it. Let's just go to bed."
"No, you're right," Luke spoke up, barely louder than a whisper. "There is something I've been hiding from you; something that I haven't been able to talk to you about. The truth is... I've been thinking about it a lot lately, so I'm sorry if I've seemed like my mind is elsewhere."
Tear could feel her heart beating in her throat. Suddenly, she didn't want to hear what Luke was about to say, she wanted to run. Run so far that she could escape the truth she'd so desperately sought, to escape the consequences it would bring, but her legs had turned to stone and wouldn't listen to her screaming mind.
"The truth is... I haven't said anything because I'm scared. I'm scared of what it means, of what it'll do to the future because I don't want anything to change. I'm just so happy with how things have been, with how things are now that I couldn't bring myself to tell you. But you're right in what you said... it's not fair of me to be avoiding the subject with you, and to be hiding things from you."
Tear's heart was racing so fast she was sure her chest would explode. Blood pounded in her ears but she heard every word Luke said, forsaking any other existence that might linger in the world around her. His intense emerald eyes pierced her own, trapping her entirely with his gaze. She barely remembered to breathe.
"I don't... I don't think of you as a friend Tear," Luke confessed. "I haven't for awhile now. You mean so much more than that to me. Every time I'm around you, everything in the world is right, and being with you makes me feel so incredibly happy. I don't have to worry about everything that's happening, all the problems we have to face, I can just be myself. You mean everything to me; I can't even begin to imagine not having you in my life. Tear... I... I love you."
From racing so fast she could have fallen over, Tear's heart came to a screeching halt at the words that escaped Luke's mouth. It just wasn't possible... this had to be a dream. There just wasn't any way that she was allowed such a thing. After the things she'd done, all the times she'd been harsh with him, the times she'd turned her back on him, been cruel to him... he couldn't possibly be offering her everything she could have ever hoped for.
Tear sat speechless.
Luke bit his lip. "I'm sorry; it's not fair of me to spring that on you like that. If you don't feel the same, it's fine. I really hope this isn't going to ruin our friendship..."
Snapping from the daze she was in, Tear scrambled for the words to answer. "Luke, you're such an idiot!" She wrapped her arms around his neck, embracing the warmth he gave her. Her heart felt aflutter and Tear couldn't possibly imagine being happier. "It's the same, I feel the same way," she managed to get out. "I knew it when I almost lost you... you mean the world to me. All I want is to be able to stay at your side forever."
To hear the words from her, Luke felt an intense wave of relief. In the wake of that relief came excitement, joy, a tide of feelings his thrumming heart couldn't begin to process. She felt the same way... those words he'd wanted to hear from her for so long, feared they may not come since the day Asch had teased him about the matter, since he'd begun seriously considering his feelings. Now everything seemed to fall into place; the world in this moment was perfect, flawless. Tear's embrace cut through the shadows of the night and lit his heart. He held her back, embracing the warmth in his arms, the warmth in his life that could be so cold at times, knowing now that she would always be there for him. It was like a living dream, and if Luke could wish for anything, it would be that time stop here, and never move forward.
But beneath the hoards of joy, Luke could feel the guilt starting to gather. He was so selfish... He hadn't lied to Tear; every single word had been genuine and the truest he'd ever spoken, but in its own way this was the cruellest thing he could have done. He should have kept it to himself, taken his love for her with him until the end... Instead he'd chosen to indulge his feelings and told Tear the truth, all while knowing just how much harder it would be on her when he vanished.
I'm sorry Tear...
Luke held her close so she wouldn't see his brimming tears.
Forever is the one thing I can't give you.