Chapter 6: Another Dead and Another Hiding
Don't own Oregairu and Watchmen.
8man's Journal, October 18, 2035
Left Tobe.
He is in need of medical attention and therapy sessions. Tossed him an icepack and warned him against contacting Shiromeguri-senpai and Yukinoshita Haruno. He knows better than to cross me by now, took me only two visits to enlighten him. Three broken ribs, two torn ligaments and a concussion later he acknowledged my proffered hand of companionship. He was wary about those brass knuckles of mine. Told him to get a tetanus shot just to stay safe. And they say there is no kindness left in this world.
Meet me. You will get a proper display of kindness. Police brutality is overrated. He will live. Made sure to stop bleeding, closed most open wounds. He can walk, use his bathroom and dress properly by himself. Destroyed his stash of contraband after finding them lying around in his hotel room. They made a wonderful bonfire.
Visiting Tobe is therapeutic.
After two sessions almost feel there is no need to keep my future appointment with Yukinoshita Haruno. She would find other distractions, might be hard for her but she always does. Tobe can take a beating, a former soccer player knows how to kick and use his elbows. He is stronger than me and bulkier but he is an amateur when it comes to dealing out pain. He learned a thing or two from me by now like using his brain.
After my first visit, he changed his location, moved to a safer place to escape from my evil clutches. Tracer on his belongings keeps me updated about his current whereabouts. He is yet to discover them in his spare clothing. Expected him to find them by now or at least grow a tiny bit suspicious about having being tracked. After two visits, at two separate locations he should know his movements are being monitored by me. Unfortunately, he had no idea about my reach, about my haunts and about my connections. He might never know, not like he will learn anything from me. Our communication is mostly limited- ask him questions, force him to answer, threaten him, make good on my threats and then listen.
Listening is tedious. After my questionable methods of appealing to his inner humanity, he resorts to grunting a lot. On my third visit, remember to put a bucket before him to spit blood and broken teeth. Should help him speak better, his jaw is intact, he should have no complaints. He is a whiner. One would think a former professional soccer player would have a little more metal in him. Like expected he is a cocktail of various street level drugs and foreign alcoholic beverages. Muscle enhancement drugs, antidepressants and cigars, appeal to his charm and add to his magnetic personality.
Women fly around him like flies over dog poop. Of course, most women I know have better standards. Ebina realised this way early. Her request makes sense now but she refrained from mentioning anything back then to safeguard her doomed clique. After high school everything ended for them but they kept pretending and now everyone is paying their price.
Isshiki is dead, Hayama is off-grid and Totsuka is sidelined.
Everything has consequences, nothing is free and life is a bad dream.
Maybe to me, maybe to everyone
/
Wiped shoes before leaving but gloves are covered in blood. Numerous homeless people huddle around a few empty drum in various back alleys, fill them with filth and rubbish, anything they could get their hands on and then light a match. Fire burns away everything, causes warmth and comfort. Like arsonists, they are attracted to flames. Wished everything would burn off. Sustained a few injuries myself during past skirmish, was a victim of burns once, but watching these embers climb and spread their sheltering wings around hobos and vagabonds made me forgive this unruly discovery of man. Flames are blameless. We burn because our inbred attraction towards destruction finds release in gasoline and matchsticks. Children play with fire, never listen to their parents and serve life without parole. Blame everyone, blame no one, changes nothing. We end up where we started, back to square one but we keep fooling ourselves and clamour for change. Whenever something changed, nothing changed. An optical illusion, our mind playing tricks, mask and facades making normalcy outdated.
A sergeant disguised himself like a hobo and tortured a law abiding citizen for information, sounds wrong anyway you hear it, but you put names and draw faces over caricatures and behold Hikigaya Hachiman did right by him and Tobe Kakeru did right by himself. Nothing is worth dying for. He chose to live, gave up information and now he is nursing his injuries instead of getting fed by a tube in a prison hospital. When everything is over he might find himself a jail cell next to Hayama. Of course finding him is another thing.
He fled, cowards are smart like that. Knew he would pull something like this, took measures, unfortunately never expected having Isshiki shot and killed by a sniper. Had a good plan, RumiRumi was in on it but unexpected no one thought of taking an assassination attempt into account. There are limits to my paranoia. Shocking, right?
Our plan or more correctly plans of worldwide media and every newspaper channel around Chiba was to get an exclusive interview with almost anyone involved with the 'Totsuka Tragedy'. Never understood juvenile antics of media to rhyme everything but made no comments, had other important things on my mind like finding a way to use this national uproar to my advantage.
Police force was able to hold down fort and eliminate ensuing chaos and anarchy caused by fans and followers of Totsuka. His widow made an appeal to her late husband's fan requesting peace and after she got results she made the unfortunate decision to have other join in on her endeavour and then everyone wanted to grab a piece of the limelight and made a mockery out of everything. Totsuka should he happy he isn't around to see this, wish I was so lucky. Safety measure fell on my shoulders after schedules of interview were set. Looked over time table and watching all this names gave me an idea.
Added Hayama to this list
Now all was upto him. He had been involved with his funeral and common sense dictates he be here and participate in this mockery on live television. He was requested, more likely begged to give an interview and as a result he locked himself in Falcon Facilities. But a crowd of reporters and cameraman, around a supposedly secret science division, financed by our government, filming everything and televising live for all the whole world to see was raising security concerns. Not my concern, this was way above my pay grade. For a short time Hayama had all the privacy of a fly trapped in a bell jar. However after media began to annoy his wife, begging her to convince her husband, Yukinoshita put her foot down on Hayama's tender parts and threw him to the vultures, at least according to my imagination.
Of course media spared no one. Tsurumi almost quit five times in a single day when she was asked to conduct this freak show of an interview only because she went to Sobu High and not because she was a fine reporter who could chew out big names, expose them on live television and push them into a corner after trapping them in their own words. She never admits it but she learned this from me and she thanked me by making me give an interview alongside Hayama.
And they wondered why everything went straight to hell afterwards.
Hayama and me, Hikigaya and him, see?
My brain has trouble placing our names side by side and Tsurumi wanted to have us both to give an interview together. Makes sense like shooting someone in the head to see what happens. Happens what happens, bullet enters, bullet exits and person dies, but no Tsurumi wanted to experience it and wouldn't you know she was talking to a sergeant in therapy, a certified screw loose. Now she would be unharmed, I have no desire to shoot any living person much less Tsurumi, who everyone agrees, is a gender bended, mini version of me but her prized moped may not be so lucky. Hayama had nothing left of his limousine to tow after I took my revenge on him for gassing me, compared to that a moped is child's play for a despicable person like me. Many a homeless kids would love to steal spare part of a well kept moped after being done with a limousine.
Tsurumi might have understood the look in my eyes, bode anything but good for her prized possessions and hence she gave a better argument to have me on board this media circus. Her manipulative skills are nominal at best. She is a good girl, friends with Keika-chan and after hanging around her she can never become truly evil. Good for her, she has escaped my stench but my level of thinking matches her. She will outgrow it in time but for now this was a good thing.
She would be confronting Hayama, head on in an interview and having me with her would be immensely helpful, at least according to her. Gave my support, least I could do and fed her my plans as well.
Gave her my list of questions to ask Hayama, she read them and agreed to ask at least some of them. By now anything seemed better than nothing. Having Hayama before live television, making him answerable and holding him accountable is tough task. Trust Tsurumi to make me proud. She never needs to employ my despicable means, hide my secrets from her, afraid she might be ashamed of me. She is another person who calls me Hachiman. She started calling me by my first name since she was in elementary school and never stopped. She is someone other than my immediate makeshift family I hold dear and hence her safety is my responsibility.
Let her down.
Interview was interesting, progress was made but Hayama had means to cut it short. Ebina was there and when she realised tides had begun to change she made an excuse which helped Hayama end his interview by sighting various emergencies and threats to his well being.
As sergeant my duty was to stay by his side and escort him. He had protection detail around him but somehow Isshiki came out of nowhere and confronted him. She holds a grudge against him for not taking her seriously and rejecting her confession from when both of them were in Sobu High. Of course being affiliated with the paparazzi, now she had a license to bully people like him. Not even I was spared. She was there, having all attention onto herself, every camera, every mike one her.
She pointed her finger accusingly on Hayama.
Opened her mouth,
And ate a bullet
Chaos broke.
Her brains splattered over a nearby wall and her blood spilled over the sidewalk. She was dead before she fell flat on the ground in a motionless pile of mush.
I watched her die before me.
I watched Hayama escape.
I killed her.
Memories are becoming painful, physical embodiments of aching hands and shoulders. Tobe took a lot out of me. His blood and my sweat are evidence of our struggle. Visiting him over a gap of only twenty four hours seemed unwise but after Isshiki died and knowing what he planned to do with her had I not intervened made me listen to my lesser demons. Regret nothing. He got what he deserved.
Disposed off any physical evidence by placing them to burn in a flaming drum and followed standards set by homeless hobos. Warmed myself, my hands mostly, they have done horrible things, wish I could burn them but no, self harm is pitiful. Why take away this opportunity from my would-be assassin.
Despite what everyone says, Hayama was not a target. Snipers rarely miss, conditions were superb for sniping and distance between both of them was short but noticeable from behind a scope. Isshiki was the target, Hayama was only the smokescreen. Isshiki had her share of enemies but no one who would go to such lengths as to hire a sniper to kill her. She was about to accuse Hayama of something and this probably killed her. Hayama killed her and now he is taking advantage of this situation by calling this an attempt on his life and hiding in his fortress. Smart, but how much longer can he hide. He cannot leave the country. Or can he? Maybe he has already left. Military take him and those threats of his seriously. They might have transferred him outside of the country. If that happened there is nothing I can do. Desperation is gnawing me from inside, chewing me and leaving me bare. Orange flames show bright white light and leaking blood from received cuts provides me with ink. Journal entry commences:
"Late night, away from home, finding comfort amidst homeless and flames. October is cold, bruises hurt bad. Tobe should feel worse than me. Says he knows nothing, but he has to. He came here, right this very moment, after Totsuka died, and he made no arrangements to leave like others. He is a part of Hayama and his conspiracy. After two sessions he is giving up useless details, mentions about miracle drugs and addled fantasies. Pipe dreams mostly. Don't know what to believe. Fighting him made me feel savage and free. Isshiki had answers, she should have come to me. Regardless of her career choice, she could receive my protection. A senpai protects his kohai, at all cost. Made a failure once again. Tobe knows nothing about any assassination attempt. Believe him. His role is more of a footman than anything in this grand scheme of things. He is simply a tool to be used and then thrown out. His refusal to contact police about my visits makes me certain. He is involved in this somehow and he is the only surviving link who can be reached without making future appointment. Yukinoshita and Ebina are far away and heavily protected. After latest development, trying to forcible enter their respective dwelling places might give them a good excuse to kill me. Of course both of them wish me no harm, hopefully, but Hayama pays all the security guards. He would probably write one of his guards a blank cheque, to shoot me dead and take the blame and they would happily follow his orders. Need to stay clear of them, and keep my head down for the moment. Hayama's involvement with military raises difficult questions but for now only need to find peace in nightmares. Need to sleep, walking with eyes closes, trying to find my way back, but this pavement, this back alley looks inviting. Dressed like a hobo, sleep like a hobo. Wake up later, read about more developments in newspapers, understand-
Beeping, Beeping, Beeping.
Recognize ringtone, feel vibrations.
No, no, no, no
Flames are dulling, white living light become red and orange once again
Black, inkish-blood turning back into red cuts and injuries
Pages lost no ink around.
My mind is not inside my mind anymore. Feel restless and uncomfortable. Answer disturbance. Pick up phone.
"Hello"
Person on other end recognizes my voice but she hesitates.
"Hello Hikigaya? Where are you? Its way past midnight and you're not yet home. You're making everyone worry."
"Everyone is asleep."
She stays silent for a moment. She is unable to recognize what she has done. Disturbing me in my journal is a sacrilege. This is another me, no one knows this me.
"Are you alright? You sound funny?"
"…"
"Are you ignoring me ya lazy bum!"
"Stop shouting Kawasaki."
Spoken with bone chilling coldness
No answer, no nagging. Hear static she is on line, but she is quite. Stunned maybe. Shocked her. Despicable. Made her afraid again. Horrible.
Need to snap back.
Need to be Hikigaya Hachiman
Monster of logic return to your cage
Heard door shutting in my mind. Some semblance of normalcy regained. Engage conversation. Top priority, sound convincing and stop her from worrying. Apology good
"Sorry Kawasaki" Effort. Need more effort. "Sorry Saki"
She is worried.
"Hachiman! Hachiman! Stay with me! Hello! Hello!"
She says my name. She says my name.
Stay with her she says. Sleep deprived mind jumbling up meaning, taking things out of context. Nightmares, don't you dare give me dreams. Have enough false hope and betrayed dreams to last a life time. Let me talk to her like I normally do.
"That's it! I am calling Taishi out of bed. Hachiman, tell me where you are?"
Right now, right now, right-
"That won't be necessary Kawasaki, your bug of a brother needs his little beauty sleep otherwise he would keep bugging me all day tomorrow."
She listens carefully and then she sighs in relief.
"You are talking normally again Hachiman"
"According to you guys, I never talk normal. Are you saying you guys make fun of me for no reason? That's cruel, you know?"
"Stop playing dumb. You were not fine a moment ago. Tell me what happened? Or I swear, everyone in the house will know something is up."
Now she is returning back to her old self.
Scary self
"D-don't do that. I promise nothing happened. I was just a bit tired and falling asleep on the pavement."
Oh definitely wrong thing to say.
"You were doing what?" She asks quietly but sternly.
"Nothing"
My ears are picking up certain sounds and movements, closing doors, opening doors, closets-
"What are you doing Kawasaki?"
"Getting dressed. You don't want anyone else getting up and that's fine. But I'm coming to pick you up from whatever back alley pavement you're lazing off at. Tell me where you are right now!"
She is leaving the safety of her home at the middle of the night to come and find me.
"Are you crazy? Don't leave the house!"
"What are you gonna do? Stop me. You are not even here and like ya said everyone else is sleeping. Good luck waking them up."
"No Kawasaki. You don't understand."
"I understand fine. I installed that tracking app on your phone, the one you had on every one of us. I don't need you to tell me your location. I can find it on my own."
Problem solve.
All I have to do is-
"Don't even think about deleting that app Hikigaya!"
Ok women can read minds. I'm putting this on public records.
"I wasn't going to"
"Uh-huh. Just wait for me, I will get a cab or something. I'm already dressed."
She is about to get outside.
She could be killed.
Snipers on every roof
"No!"
My scream disturbed the homeless but not like they have anything to complain. Saki Kawasaki heard me shout and she waited for me to continue.
"Don't leave the house Kawasaki. After Isshiki"- Difficult, so difficult,-"I don't want that happening to anyone else. I killed her. I don't want to kill you. I-"
"You didn't kill her Hachiman. She was shot by a sniper. It was not your fault."
She never finds fault in anyone.
"Regardless, Kawasaki I don't want you leaving the house. If you leave and something happens to you"-I would never forgive myself- "your brother, Keika-chan, Komachi, none of them would forgive me."
She gives a dry chuckle.
"Only them right, Hikigaya?"
Felt a sense of mockery embedded in her question. She had been calling me by my first name till now. Currently she reverts back to a last name basis.
Good. Hate change.
Needed to give a response
"Tsurumi also"
She says nothing else and leaves me to brand myself a coward once again.
"Fine then. I won't leave the house. Ya happy?"
"Extremely"
"Then promise me, you will come back safe."
"I promise"
Lying is easy.
"I will wait up for ya."
Now that is unnecessary and problematic. Have to think of a better way to explain my disguise. Do people attend cosplays well past-midnight dressed as hobos. Highly doubtful.
"You don't need to."
Now she should be angry.
"This is the least I can do."
She is about to hang up but my ears catch a barely inaudible whisper which escapes her lips almost as an afterthought
"Come back safely"
Now she has burdened me with the heavy responsibility of staying safe. An incomplete entry in my journal, that's a first. Might cause problems in future, need to take certain steps to avoid this ever happening again.
But for now I pocket my phone because for tonight I'm done.
Sleep waits me at home
And a certain Saki Kawasaki
/
A/N: Let's play a game. Let's see whether I can update chapters faster than you guys can review.
I'm not kidding I wrote this today while trying something new. The last part reads differently because I thought, why not try an incomplete journal entry where Hachiman gets disturbed and this is how it turned out. His speech pattern is especially choppy at the end but this is by design not faults in grammar and lazy writing. Like I said, trying something new. Food for thoughts guys.
Won't betray your dreams