Back to Where We Have Never Been

A/N: Thank you for your patience. The end of the semester is approaching and, unfortunately, that means more work and less play. As always, thank you for all of your love and support. It still amazes me. A special thank you to all of you who have been sharing this story with all of your friends in the fandom. I really appreciate it and am blown away.

Now, on with chapter 27! :)

Chapter 27

"I have to go," Castle murmured against her lips as they stood in the hallway outside the door of her apartment. They had just spent the last ten minutes standing there, necking like teenagers.

Her body melded into his as his arms tightened around her waist and she let out a soft laugh, her grinning teeth pressing against his lips. "Then you should probably let go of me."

"I don't want to let go," he replied as her arms hugged his neck tighter and she brought him in for another kiss. "Come home with me."

Kate drew her head back so she could look up at him, her hands coming down to cup his cheeks as she considered him for a minute. "No, you need to go talk to your daughter and I need to get some sleep. I didn't get much this weekend."

"Not my fault," he grinned back, ducking his head down to give her another kiss. "No man in his right mind would sleep with you in bed next to him, you're too amazing for that. I would be afraid I would wake up and you'd just be a dream."

"Always a way with words."

"You bring them out of me."

Kate's smile grew as she leaned in to kiss him again, standing on her tiptoes with her body flush against him. Castle let out a groan.

"Okay, okay," Kate pulled back, after another long moment, her back now pressed up against the door, her leg wrapped around his thigh. She pushed him back with a firm hand to his chest, her leg slipping back down to the ground. "You have to go. Now."

"But," Castle protested as he leaned in for another kiss that she dodged.

"No, go. You said it yourself, Alexis didn't sound too happy on the phone when you talked to her about the engagement thing and you need to talk to her. Alone."

Castle let out a sigh as he leaned down to hug her, his head pressed against her shoulder.

"Fine," he relented with a final kiss to the curve of her neck, before pulling back and stepping backward to put a foot of space between them. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

Kate ducked her head before looking back up at him with an unrelenting grin. "Tomorrow."

Castle took another step backwards, his hands shoved in his pockets. "You're going to be fine. Call me if you need to talk, or anything. Anytime."

"I'm fine, Rick," Kate attempted to huff with a half eye roll but her smile gave her away. She ducked her head again, arms crossed over her chest as she swayed from foot to foot, her smile faltering as she turned her eyes to look up at him with a grateful expression. "Thank you, for everything. For this weekend."

"Always," he replied, his tone low, as he took another step backward. He had to leave and if he moved towards her again he wouldn't be heading home that night.

"Always," she whispered in return and leaned back against her door, lip pulled between her teeth as she watched him disappear into the elevator with one last wave.

The doors slid shut on his smiling face and Kate let out a sigh, her head resting back on the heavy wooden door with a thump. Her eyes rolled to the side and she caught a glimpse of a cracked door and a tuft of white hair, peeking out.

"Good evening, Mrs. Humphries, having a good night?" She called, a single eyebrow rising as she called out to her nosey neighbor.

The seventy-six year old lady let out a humph in reply before slamming the door shut, the sound of the chain sliding into place reaching Kate's ears. She let out a quiet laugh as she shook her head, her teeth biting into her lower lip around her grin.

Was it really possible to be this insanely happy, especially when everything else was falling apart?

"Honey! I'm home!" Castle called as he entered the loft, his bag dropping to the floor beside him.

"Hey, Dad," Alexis answered warily as she looked up from her open textbook laid out on the counter top in front of her. "Have a good weekend?"

Castle slowed his gate as he came up to give his daughter a kiss in greeting. That was definitely a less than enthusiastic response. "Yes, actually, I did. It was very nice."

Alexis let out a hum in reply. "Seems like it."

Castle let out a sigh as he dropped a kiss to Alexis's head and made his way to the refrigerator for a drink. "Is there something you would like to say, Alexis?"

"Nope."

Castle raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really? Because passive aggressive is a new look on you. I'm not sure if I like it."

Alexis huffed as she flipped her textbook shut. "Everything is just fine. I'm going to go to bed."

Castle took a step towards the stairs, placing his body in her path. "Hey, what's going on?"

Alexis sighed as she clutched her books to her chest, her eyes falling to the ground before she lifted them back up to look at her father. "You don't even know her Dad, and you are talking about getting married? Really?"

Castle blinked as his daughter. "I know her and we are not talking about getting married yet. Well, I mean, we talked about getting married but we are nowhere even close. The papers were a misunderstanding. And where is this coming from anyway? I thought you liked, Kate?"

"I do like Kate," Alexis shot back. "But that doesn't change the fact that you haven't been dating long. You need to act like an adult, Dad."

"I am acting like an adult. I'm an adult who is in love with another adult and we are going to do adult things like talk about the future," Castle argued, his anger level rising as he fought with his daughter. What gave her the right?

Alexis sighed again. "Fine, but do me a favor and leave the future until I am no longer in Kate's class. I have enough to deal with already."

She pushed past him, making her way up the stairs to her own room, the door slamming shut behind her.

What the hell had just happened?

With a shake of his head he turned to his office, to sit alone and write.

Monday morning came too quickly and Kate found herself, standing, with her hand gripped around the handle to the auditorium style classroom for the first time in five days. She kept telling herself that she shouldn't be worried. She had done nothing wrong and yes, her picture had been plastered all over the front of page six the day before, but that did not change the fact that she was a professor. She had a class to teach. Besides, it was the beginning of Murder Week and, recently, she had become somewhat of an expert on murder mysteries. In fact, she had the entire Richard Castle collection loaded onto her Kindle. Not that she would ever admit that to him, of course.

It had been surreal seeing her picture in the paper. Yes, she had had articles published and given lectures. Her name had been in print and she had even done a little freelance writing upon occasion for her collegiate newspapers but this was different. This wasn't her giving her opinion or making a statement. This was about her. She was in the spotlight and Kate wasn't sure exactly how she felt about that. Being in New Orleans had been an escape, just like it had been the year before, a way to get back to reality but as the plane rolled to into the terminal at JFK reality had settled back down over her. Over them.

She still had the twist-tie. It had stayed firmly wrapped around her finger while they had lazed the morning away in bed, nursing their hangovers with lattes and Eggs Benedict. Rick had kissed it when they stood, wrapped around each other, in the shower. She had sported it proudly as they made their way onto the plane in New Orleans and back off, walking hand-in-hand through the jungle of New York. She had slept with it, alone in her apartment Sunday night, when Rick had wanted the evening to talk to Alexis and his mother.

It had felt strange sleeping alone after spending so much time sleeping next to a warm body again but even though she had been alone, she hadn't felt lonely. That's what that little piece of plastic and wire told her. She wasn't alone. Not that being alone was a bad thing, she had enjoyed it for a little while but there was nothing weak about admitting that she wanted to be with someone. Life was better spent with someone at your side, someone to have fun with, a shoulder to cry on, and an arm to support you when you're down. It's not a weakness to want someone, to need someone. It's a strength.

Kate Beckett was beginning to see that.

Kate took one last breath and pulled open the door to the classroom. The room was full, as always, and Alexis and Andrew were perched in their new seats in the front row: wide-eyed, expectant. She winked at the pair as they stared at her and her hand drifted to the pocket of her dress pants where the twist-tie hid, safely out of sight of prying coworkers and co-eds. Alexis ducked her head in reply, hiding her eyes from Kate's gaze and Kate cocked her head at the girl, questioning. She hadn't spoken to Rick since they had said goodbye the night before but she should. It seemed like there was something she had missed.

Kate nodded to Dr. Miller, one of the department heads who was sitting in the back row of the room, pen and pad at the ready and made her way over to the lectern, shaking the mouse on the desk to wake the computer.

"Good morning all, I apologize for the cancelled class on Friday but since we were not able to go over the midterm, as planned, if you have any questions about your grade please come and see me during office hours. I unfortunately, will not be able to hand your exams back or answer any questions via email. Dr. Miller, who will be observing all of the classes for the rest of the semester, will also be sitting in on any office hours meetings."

Her eyes drifted around the classroom and a few students ducked their heads, embarrassed, while others looked at her quizzically. Apparently word hadn't worked its way all the way around the classroom yet. That would probably change by the end of the hour as some people started to twitter amongst themselves.

Kate cleared her throat and pulled up the short power point presentation for the day. It was Mystery Week. Very apropos, seeing all the mysteries currently floating around.

She had to give the students credit; their eyes didn't glaze over at quickly as usual as she gave her presentation on murder mysteries throughout the centuries ending with some of the modern "classics" and the promise of a mystery guest speaker for the next class. Even though, with the number of gasps and squeals emitted by the female population in the class, if she had to guess, they already knew whom the speaker would be.

Kate looked back down as she gathered up her belongings, scribbling some notes to her self before she forgot them on the walk back to her office. The last of the students clomped out of the classroom, their muffled conversations dying with the slam of the door and a slow clap erupted, causing Kate's head to snap up.

"I have to say, Professor Beckett, watching you work is an inspiration. Someone should write a book about you."

"What are you doing here?" Kate hissed as Castle walked up to her, gathering her books out of her arms and cradling them against his chest as he motioned for her to lead the way out of the room.

"I missed you," Castle explained, his lower lip jutting out as he turned around to walk backwards so he could see her face.

"It's been twelve hours," Kate shot back.

"Maybe in time, but in my heart it has been twelve years. I don't know how I survived, really. It was torture, pure torture. I honestly just thought about ending it all and throwing myself into a tub of Chunky Monkey with a tablespoon. A teaspoon wouldn't have cut it. I'm serious," Castle lamented as she unlocked the door to her office and he followed her inside, taking his usual seat across from her desk as she arranged herself behind the computer.

"You're seriously deranged." Kate replied with a roll of her eyes, attempting to bite back her smile.

"Admit it," Castle prodded, leaning forward. "You missed me, too. I bet you slept in the shirt you snuck from my suitcase, don't think I didn't see you, because it smelled like me."

Kate rolled her eyes again. "I did not."

She did.

"Yes you did. I know you Katherine Beckett. I know when you are lying."

"I am not lying."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. Admit it. You missed me last night just as much as I missed you."

Kate leaned forward to answer him, her words dying on her lips as something poked her thigh and she reached into her pocket, lifting her hips slightly, to pull out the silver makeshift ring, which she held with her thumb and index finger for a moment before sliding it over the trunk of the lead "parading" elephant. A smile ghosted across her lips.

"Fine, I missed you," she replied, her eyes tearing away from the silver ring to look at his eyes, which were glued to the ring, as well.

A silence settled between them, the reality of the situation finally settling between them. There was no more fancy dresses or never ending flow of champagne flutes. The privacy of the hotel room was gone. They were back, in the real world, with daughters and mothers, employers and paparazzi.

"I meant what I said," Castle began slowly. "I do want to marry you someday."

"I know," Kate replied, her voice low. "Someday. How about if we go on a second date, first?"

Castle let out a chuckle. "Sounds like a plan. How about tonight?"

Kate let out a sigh. "I can't tonight. I promised my mom I would come over for dinner. She wants to grill me about the weekend, I'm sure."

Castle smiled as she rolled her eyes with an overly dramatic groan. "Admit it, you like it."

"Never."

"How about you invite them over for dinner at the loft? We can face the firing squad together."

Kate's teeth sunk into her bottom lip. Debating. She shook her head slowly. "Not this time."

Castle's face fell, as he nodded in reply.

"It's not that I don't want…"

Castle's nod cut off her explanation. "No, I get it, you need to spend time with your parents. Will I see you later?"

Kate looked up at him, trepidation still etched on her face as her hands pressed on the desktop. No, she was not allowed to think too much about this, to make mountains out of molehills. "What? You don't think you could spend another night without me?"

"Oh, I think I could. I just don't want to."

Kate's breath caught in her chest. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? Her lips moved to say something, anything, but he was speaking again, pulling her out of her head before she could fall too far down into her spiral of thoughts.

"Admit it," he leaned over her desk to whisper down at her. "You don't want to spend tonight away from me, either."

Kate let out a shaky breath, that's all he was saying, nothing more. "Never."

She let a sly grin slip as he leaned down to steal a kiss. "Meet you at your place at nine?"

"Hmm, I don't know. What's in it for me?"

"I'll make you pancakes," Castle negotiated as he backed towards her office door.

"Pancakes? Really? Well in that case…"