Chapter 29

When he didn't answer the phone on Monday night when she called to see if he wanted to get dinner she rolled her eyes, blaming it on falling into a writer's trance.

When he didn't call her back on Tuesday to grab lunch, dinner, spend the night or confirm that he was coming to speak to the class on Wednesday she was irritated.

When he didn't show up to class on Wednesday she was royally pissed off and when she noticed that Andrew and Alexis weren't in class either her anger turned to concern.

The phone was still ringing in her ear when she knocked on his door an hour later, her leg jittering as she cursed at her phone when it went to voicemail for the fifth time in a row.

"Where have you been? I've been worried sick!" She exclaimed as the door swung open and a disheveled Richard Castle filled the doorway. She looked him up and down, sniffing slightly as she pushed past him into the apartment. "And are you drunk?"

Castle ran a hand through his hair before crossing his arms over his t-shirt clad chest. A pair of worn sweatpants completed his outfit.

"I've been writing," he replied nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders as he turned to walk back to his office.

"Seriously, Rick? Writing? I know you and I know you wouldn't blow me off to write. You were supposed to come to class today, remember? Talk about the wonderful world of mystery novels," Kate stalked after him as her hand clenched at her side. At the moment she didn't care if she sounded angry or hurt or bitchy because she had every right to be all of those things. "What about Andrew and Alexis, are they okay? They weren't in class today either."

Castle just shrugged again as he plopped back down in his chair and turned his attention back to his laptop. "I'm sure they're fine. Alexis was saying something about dropping the class, though."

Kate pulled back like she had been slapped. "She said she's what? Why?"

"You know why."

Kate took a step back from the desk, her brow creased in frustration as she stared at the man who had been ignoring her for days, who had failed to greet her with a kiss at the door, and who was now focusing back in on his computer screen.

"Okay," she stated calmly, forcing herself to push her anger down as she paced the room, a hand reached out in front of her, fingers spread. "It is pretty obvious that you're mad at me but could you clue me in as to why? Because as of right now I have no idea what I did to any of you."

Castle's eyes flickered up, a flash of anger greeting her. "Alexis saw you, on Monday."

Kate hesitated for a moment. Okay… So, Alexis saw her on Monday. Yes, she did, she was in class on Monday. They did see each other. What else had happened on Monday?

She shot him a questioning glance and Castle huffed as he pushed himselfout of his chair and stalked around the desk. "At lunch, Kate. She saw you with the guy."

Kate's brow furrowed again. "Wait, with Mark? What does that have to do with anything?"

Castle stopped, his head shot up, eyes wide. "Mark?"

"Yeah, he was in town for a conference, wanted to have lunch…" Her eyes narrowed as she stared at him, studying his reaction. "Wait, you think I was cheating you? Seriously?"

"I…" Castle's voice trailed off as he ducked his head to look at his feet before glancing back up at her, regret etched on his face.

"You did. You thought I was cheating on you," Kate confirmed as she felt the anger and disbelief swelling in her and she let out a startled laugh.

"You're not?" Castle questioned followed by a wince for the look she shot him.

"No, I'm not cheating on you." Kate spat out as she turned to walk to the opposite wall of the study, her arms curled up to rest on top of her head as she shook it from side to side in disbelief.

"Kate, I'm sorry, Alexis said…"

Kate let out another laugh. "Alexis said she saw me with another guy and instead of confronting me about it, asking me, you shut me out and locked yourself in your office to stew in your anger."

She turned back around to face him, her eyes flickering over his face, reading his expression as his gaze caste downward; avoiding her eyes.

"You don't trust me," She finally stated quietly, as the truth dawned on her from his silence. "You say you love me and you want to be with me, that you can't imagine your life without me but you don't trust me."

She shook her head as he took a step forward, a hand reaching out to her and she crossed her arms over her chest. Protective. Defensive. His hand dropped to his side, limp and he nodded in understanding. Her voice was low, controlled, when she spoke next, the anger and disbelief rushing out of her leaving only hurt in its place. "Just so you know, I was having lunch with Mark because he asked me to; he wanted to talk. He wanted to find out why I broke up with him. We had a nice meal, we chatted and I explained what happened and that I'm in love with you. You would have known that if you had asked me, or, God forbid, just picked up the phone Monday night when I called. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to leave."

She walked around him and out the door of his office to the living room.

"Kate, wait," Rick called after her as he filled the doorway of the office.

"No, Rick," Kate paused as she shook her head leaning against the open apartment door, her hand still gripping the doorknob. "You know, with everything I've been through in the past year, you're the one person who's been there for me, no questions asked. You trusted me, you believed in me even when I was so mad at you that I wouldn't talk to you. And now… So, no, Rick, you don't get to tell me to wait."

The door closed with a soft thud behind her and she made it to the elevator before she finally allowed herself to cry.

"Hey, Frank," Kate sighed tiredly as she trudged through the open doorway of her parent's apartment building. "How's the grandbaby?"

"Great!" Frank replied enthusiastically. "Little Elsie just turned seven months and she is all giggles and smiles. It's adorable."

Kate couldn't help but smile at the happy grandpa. "Great, that's great, Frank. I'm happy to hear that she's doing well. Are Stella and Steven getting any sleep?"

"Elsie is a little angel, sleeps straight through the night and when they need a night off Grandma and Grandpa are more than happy to keep the little bundle."

Kate laughed as Frank closed the door behind her and patted her on the shoulder. "You doing alright there, Katie?"

"I'm doing okay, Frank. Just a long day is all," Kate nodded at the older man as he walked beside her to the elevator.

"You know…" Frank waggled his eyebrows at her as the doors opened and she walked into the cart. "Frank Jr. is still single."

Kate smiled as she laughed, low and slightly forced. "Sorry, Frank, I'm still… I'm complicated."

Frank gave her a wink as she reached for the button and wrapped her arms back around her middle. "You're worth it."

Kate leaned against the back wall as the doors closed and the elevator began to ascend. She let out a sigh forcing herself to swallow the lump in her throat. She wasn't going to cry anymore. She wasn't.

The doors opened with the ping of a bell and she plodded down the hall to her parent's front door, her briefcase swinging against her hip. She knocked gently when she found the lock bolted and leaned against the door jam, her head resting against the wood as she heard the chain slide off and the deadbolt unlock.

"Katie? What's wrong?" Johanna's voice sounded, pulling Kate from her thoughts and back to reality.

She stared at her mother for a moment, blinking as she tried to formulate words before her chin crumpled and she fell forward to rest her head against Johanna's shoulder, sobbing into her shirt.

"Shh, Katie, it's okay," Johanna whispered into her daughter's hair. "It's going to be okay."

"Why does it hurt so much?" Kate asked after she finished explaining the situation to her mother.

Johanna looked down at her daughter from her position sitting against the headboard of Kate's old bed, Kate's head in her lap facing away from her. Johanna ran her fingers through her daughter's long hair, scratching her scalp gently as Kate swiped at her cheek on more time, stopping the last errant tear in it's tracks. "Because you're in love with him."

Kate let out a sardonic laugh. "That's original. You know, I promised myself that I would never be this girl, crying over a boy, and it seems like it's all I've done lately."

Johanna just hummed in response, not bothering to answer her daughter's statement. It wasn't the important one anyway.

"Please don't say it," Kate continued. "I know you're thinking it."

"Thinking what?" Johanna asked innocently.

"That you told me so. 'Katie, you're getting into this awfully fast. How well do you know him anyway? I just don't want to see you hurt.' You were going to say it."

Johanna leaned down and kissed her forehead. "You just need to get to know each other a little better, Katie. Talk to each other, talk to Alexis."

"Rick said he wants to handle Alexis," Kate defended weakly.

"And since when have you listened to what other people wanted you to do?" Johanna questioned.

Kate sat up to look at her mother and cocked her head to the side, considering the words. "Good point."

Johanna let out a chuckle as she pushed herself off of the bed and Kate crawled off after her. Kate's feet landed on the floor and her toe bumped something, the sound of plastic crinkling catching her attention. She frowned as she bent over and pulled out a heavy plastic bag, dumping the contents on the bed, a pile of economic theory books and comics that she had stored under the bed two summers before staring back at her.

"It's like two worlds colliding, isn't it?" Johanna mused coming up behind her.

Kate's lips tilted up in a smile. "I went from one extreme to another didn't I?"

Johanna clasped her hands on her daughter's shoulders, leaning around to kiss her on the cheek. "You just need to find the balance, Katie. You can't be too grown up but you're not a child anymore either. Calm down, talk to Alexis, talk to Rick. Slow down. Get to know them. You have all the time in the world because we both know this one is going to last."

Johanna turned towards the door, pausing as Kate called out to her. "Can I at least wait for him to come crawling back to me?"

Johanna winked at her. "Always."

Kate looked up from her desk at the knock on her office door, calling out for the visitor to come in. She had made it back to her apartment from her parents' that morning to change and had managed her way through her Russian Literature class without an incident, even applauding one of her most improved students as he read an entire passage in flawless Russian.

The door creaked open slowly and she found herself face to face with the guilt-ridden face of Alexis Castle.

"Hi Professor Beckett, can I come in? I would understand if you don't want to talk to me but I would like to speak to you," the girl fumbled quietly.

Kate waved her in with a small smile and a sigh. "Come on in Alexis, we do need to talk."

Alexis walked to the chair silently, sitting down with her bag falling to the floor at her side and her books held tightly in her lap. "I'm sorry."

Kate leaned back in her chair as she looked at the young woman sitting across from her. "I just want to know why, Alexis? What's going on with you? I thought we were getting along well."

Kate paused to sigh, her fingers coming up to rub the bridge of her nose as she continued. "I mean, I know it's not the perfect situation with everything that is going on but you said that you were okay with it, with me and your dad, so what changed?"

Alexis looked down at her hands, studying her fingernails before raising her head back up and looking her professor in the eye. "It wasn't supposed to affect me!"

Kate looked back at her, startled at Alexis' sudden outburst but waiting for her to continue.

"Everything was supposed to be perfect. Dad was happy, you were happy, classes were going good and I was being recruited by one of the top sororities. I know it shouldn't matter that much, it's just a sorority but it made me feel special like I belonged. They didn't care that I was Richard Castle's kid. They just wanted me for me. Or at least that's what I thought, but then one of the girls got drunk and let it spill that they only wanted me because of you because I could get the answers to your exams."

"Oh, Alexis, I'm sorry," Kate replied as she watched the girl deflate back into her seat.

"It shouldn't be this big of a deal but it's so hard to meet people who don't care who my father is. I mean it's not like he's Johnny Depp or Jason Bateman but still, I just want to introduce myself once without someone asking me if I can get my dad's autograph or tell me how much they love his books and then you came along and now I get it from two sides. If they don't want me for him they want me for you. They look at me in class too, you know. I hear the whispers. Wondering if I'm getting A's because you're sleeping with my dad. Stuff like this isn't supposed to happen in college. It's like being back in high school all over again. I'm tired of it!"

Kate listened as Alexis' rant wound down, waiting a beat before leaning forward in her chair, her elbows propped on her desk. "Okay, what would you like me to do?"

"What?" Alexis asked, her eyes snapping up.

"What would you like me to do? Do you want me to break up with your Dad, to make a public announcement that you have no knowledge of my exams or lesson plans? Do you want to drop my class? I can start giving you C's if you want. Just tell me what you want me to do."

Alexis deflated further into her chair. "Nothing. It's not your fault. I just… I had to have someone to blame and you were convenient."

Her eyes flickered back up to meet Kate's. "I'm sorry. I do like you and I know you make my dad happy. I'm sorry about Monday, also. I just saw and I assumed and I was already so upset over everything else. My dad told me what you said."

Kate nodded at the girl. "Apology accepted but next time you have a problem with me come and talk to me, okay? Passive aggressive isn't a good look on you. And for the record, I would never cheat on your dad."

"I know," Alexis nodded. "Are you two going to be okay?"

Kate sighed. "We'll see."

Alexis nodded as she stood from the chair and turned back towards the door, with a small wave and made her way out into the hall.

Kate leaned back in her chair as the door clicked shut and sighed up at her ceiling.

"It's never easy, is it?" She asked the silent room.

She stared at the ceiling for a few minutes longer, her eyes roaming over the dimpled ceiling tiles, tracing the lines with her eyes, before her computer pinged alerting her to a new email. Slowly she lifted her head and used her heels to pull the rolling chair the few inches to the keyboard so she could type in her password and click on the icon.

The new message popped up and her eyes widened as she saw the contents of the letter. She had not been expecting that.

Castle's knuckles rapped on the wooden door gently as he waited nervously in the hall, wiping his sweating palms on the sides of his thighs. He listened as the chain slid over and the deadbolt clicked open.

"Hi," he greeted nervously as he came face to face with Johanna Beckett. "I'm here to see Kate. She is here, right? I tried her cell and her apartment. I figured since she wasn't there then she would be here. She does normally have dinner with you on Thursdays."

Johanna nodded tersely as she opened the door a little wider. "She's here, Rick. Come in."

Castle gave a small smile and thank you as he stepped over the threshold and came face to face with Jim Beckett, who was watching him silently with a stern expression and his arms crossed over his chest. "Mr. Beckett, it's nice to finally meet you. I wish it were under better circumstances but it's nice nonetheless."

Castle gave a small wave as he bumbled through this greeting to the older man. Jim Beckett may not be a large man, but Castle could definitely tell where Kate got her intimidation ability. At first Castle has thought it was from Johanna alone but now he wasn't quite sure.

"Hey Castle."

Castle jumped into a turn when he heard Kate greet him from the kitchen, walking into view with a dishtowel in her hands.

"Hi," he replied with a small smile, taking a step towards her. "Can we talk?"

When Kate didn't reply right away, Johanna cleared her throat, walking up behind her daughter and pushing her forward slightly. "I think that sounds like a fantastic idea. Come on Jim, I think I hear something in the bedroom that needs our attention."

Castle and Kate watched them with twin, amused expressions as Johanna pushed her husband away from the half-cleared dining room table towards the back hallway.

"She's subtle," Castle observed as the door clicked shut behind them.

"Always," Kate replied as she threw the towel behind her onto the counter and took another step into the living room.

"You know, this is the first time I've seen the both of you together. You really are the spitting image of your mother."

Kate gave him a small smile. "Everyone always said I got my mother's looks and my father's personality."

Castle nodded, his hands shoved in his pockets. "I can see that."

Kate looked down at her hands, her fingers running over her knuckles. "What's up, Rick?"

"I wanted to say I'm sorry for how I acted. I should have come to you, asked you what was going on before jumping to conclusions."

Kate nodded. "You should have."

"So, where do you want to go from here?" He asked when she didn't continue.

Kate looked down again, her eyes roaming from her bare feet to the row of books on her mother's bookshelf. His books. They then moved to the row of trinkets that had been collected over the years, pictures of their small family in various stages of life.

"I want to go back," she replied cryptically.

"Back? Back to where?"

"Back to the beginning, back to what we skipped. I want to go back."

Castle stared at her for a second before nodding in reply. "Okay. We can go back. Hi, my name is Rick, and I write tawdry books with no depth for a living."

Kate let out a small laugh as she took a step forward reaching her hand out to grasp his proffered one. "Hi Rick, it's nice to meet you, I'm Kate."

"Hi, Kate. So, what's your favorite color?"

"Purple."

"Purple," Castle nodded. "I can see that. Personally I would have guessed blue but purple will work, too. Purple is the color of royalty you know and royalty has to have a Castle so I guess we are a match made in heaven."

"That's the worst pick up line I have ever heard," Kate rolled her eyes as she led him over to the couch, curling up in the corner with her feet tucked under her as he settled into one of the overstuffed arm chairs.

"Hey, now. Shush. You are ruining my fantastic second first impression. Now, as I was saying…"