A/N – This is the final chapter! Oh noes!
Sakura's mother is named Kiyomi in this, unless anyone can tell me what she's actually called. Most of this chapter is a past event, so that's obviously why Sakura's parents are alive.
Warning : This chapter is pretty disgusting.
Chapter 33
The clock struck 7. It was going to be bad again.
There was nothing she could do. By now she knew this.
"Sakura honey, I think it is time for you to go to bed." Large green eyes widened as a lower lip stuck out and it was very easy to read her response. It was the same as any other small child. "If you're not quite tired yet, how about you draw me a picture?"
"Of the beach, Mummy!" Sakura's small pink pigtails bobbed delicately up and down on her head as she jumped around excitedly. "'Cause that's where we're going to go, right Mum?"
Kiyomi swallowed forcefully at the lump in her throat that was trying to call her out on her lie. "Yes, sweetie." She forced the words out, digging up as bright a smile as she could for her five-year-old daughter. "We're going to go to the beach. And then we'll go wherever you want honey."
"I want to go to the zoo!" Sakura's innocent little face lit up happily as she rattled off everything that she wanted to see. "... and a hippo and an elephant, and a tiger!" Sakura paused for breath momentarily. "Mummy, dad says that tigers are dangerous. Is it safe to see them in the zoo?"
They're not as dangerous as he is.
"It's fine, love. The ones in the zoo are trained not to hurt you. Why don't you draw me one?"
"OK, Mummy!"
It was quarter past and he still wasn't home.
"Mummy, I'm finished!"
"That's absolutely wonderful darling, now how about an elephant?"
"Of course! Coming right up miss!" Sakura's voice changed to mimic someone she had once heard serving customers at the fruit and veg stands around the corner. She paused momentarily to look Kiyomi in the eye. "When I grow up, I want to be an artist."
And off Sakura scampered, back to her room.
It was 7:50 when he finally came home, Kiyomi rushing to open the door for him when she saw him coming from the living room window. He was wearing his uniform, impeccable as always and complete with his unfeeling mask, leaving her unable to gauge his mood. Until he spoke, there was no way to tell.
"Hello, sweatheart." Kiyomi spoke gently, watching him carefully for any kind of response. "Welcome home." She leaned in to kiss him, her lips coming to a stop only millimetres away from his cheek at the feel of his hand flicking out like lightening to grab her wrist.
Sakura was asleep right? She had only been in bed for around 10 minutes. There was no way to currently tell.
Please don't need a glass of water.
Finally she came into contact with him, but lingered instead of pulling away completely. "Did you have a good day?"
Smack!
Her head snapped to the side, long brown locks whipping around with her to curtain her rapidly swelling cheek, covering the traitorous tears that were already starting to cover it. She moved away from him, keeping her watery eyes focused on his as she quickly moved backwards. But she was only moving into the lounge. There was no escape there.
"It's about to get better."
He moved towards her like a predator, his gait showing that he knew he had her cornered. "Did you have a nice day?" Kiyomi's eyes met his as she waited for the next hit, trying to seek out the trap that she knew he would have placed in there.
He seemingly got pleasure from her cries as after a while he began lo laugh as he moved towards her, a wide grin stretching his gaunt face his expression hungry as he stalked his prey. He wasn't touching her yet, and that was what confused Sakura the most. He didn't particularly enjoy what he did to her.
Only the effects.
Either way, she was going to have to answer.
"No, dear. I missed you too much while you were away providing for us. I wish that there was more that I could do to help you."
"How about DO WHAT YOU'RE DAMN TOLD. You missed me?" He sneered questioningly at her, throwing her over to the sofa. His tugged her hair back so that her face was tipped up to see meet his. "Did you miss me?" He asked again, saliva flicking off of his lethal tongue and spraying her face. His face was manic, a hollow fury that stretched into a wide smile as he hovered over her, letting her know exactly what she was in for. Kiyomi nodded quickly. She knew that any answer was the wrong answer. She knew that no answer would rile him up.
She was doing all that she could.
A hard slap to the face was quickly replaced by his lips and Kiyomi knew that she had made the right decision. He'd moved on quicker than he would have otherwise. She could feel the blood filling her mouth, sliding around his tongue and fought the urge to spit it out. He was kissing her; there was no way that she could pull away. She slid her tongue over his, licking and sucking as she subtly checked her gums over. She wasn't missing any teeth.
Finally he pulled away for air, and Kiyomi tried yet again to find some way to control the situation. "What would you like me to do for you baby?" She breathed out against his ear. Hopefully he would order her around verbally today.
He growled and pulled back his fist, and she flinched for an impact that didn't come. When she finally squinted her eyes open a little he was smiling at her. It always made him happier to see that she was afraid.
He leaned closer to her, smiling. And then the punch hit.
She could barely move as he ripped her clothes away, reminding herself that it would do no good. That never stopped her from trying.
He was brutal in the way he touched her, attacked her. He seemingly got no pleasure from it; his face looked in pain, his eyes on hers the entire time. He was grunting with effort in a manner that revolted Sakura in a way that was almost worse than the woman's screams.
"Stop! Stop! Please don't hurt me!"
"Please! Stop!" Her pleas were at their loudest now, her eyes scrunched shut. The cold waters of devastation fell anyway, but it did not really matter.
Tears would not stop her tormentor.
As she realised this, her eyes opened focused and clear. She did not scream anymore.
Because her eyes focused on the one thing in the world that she would give everything to protect. The one person that she truly wished would never have to see this, but she was now thankful for her angel's presence.
It reminded her of her purpose.
He pressed the kunai harder against her throat, laughing as he told her to try and move now. She tried to stay still, her eyes focused on the girl huddled in the corner, on the fact that she needed to stay alive, only to sacrifice herself.
The blade dug deeper with every shudder that ran through her body, sobs shuddering through her no matter how hard she tried to suppress them. She couldn't fight back, but she also couldn't help but wonder why she shouldn't. Pain speared through her with every movement of his disgusting body, piercing through her, battering her from the inside out, and leaving her feeling broken. Used. Like her pounded body was no longer good for anything, her once blinkered mind opened and tainted, filled with sick thoughts and ideas. Sometimes she had to wonder if it would be easier to just give in to him. To allow his hands to touch her, to hit her, to hurt her. It would be so much easier to lie back and let him have his way with her, to just drift away and wait until it was over. Sometimes she did.
More often she felt that death would be preferable. She would rather be nothing, than be like this.
The blood trailed down, covering her semi clothed body and drowning her in the pools of scarlet. When she finally gave up, she watched the trails, somehow thankful that the blood was coming from somewhere else, that she could pretend he wasn't making her bleed, in the worst way that he possibly could.
He laughed when he was done, kicking the pale form that fell to the floor the moment that he released her. He spat on her limp body. He left without a glance towards the child that huddled crying in the corner.
"Mummy?"
Blood stained hair found its way into the pink haired child's lap, the tears that washed it not stopping until hours later, when something could finally be done.
Her body moved of its own accord, before she could even contemplate moving with her conscious thought. A sensation close to the feel of water pounded inside her eardrums, her head fuzzy and her vision blurred. She felt out of control, as if her whole being was being swept mercilessly around like a doll. She felt as if she were drowning.
But she wasn't dying. He was.
Are you at the beach now, Mummy?
888
Drops of tea spilled over the cup, splashing onto the kitchen floor as Sakura shook in Kakashi's arms. "I wanted to be able to help!" She hissed, her furious tears spilling over. "But the ninja always pick up all the slack! Itachi never even did anything wrong, and no one knows that! My family were killed for that!"
"Sakura…" Kakashi sighed. "I've told you this before, and I'll tell you again at some point you have to realise… it is naivety and self-destruction that allows people to punish themselves… for pain that they have already suffered."
"What do you mean? I'm finally doing something else, that won't hurt me. Why do you want to change that?"
"You're not Sakura. You're exactly like me. You lost your family –twice- and now you are distancing yourself before you can lose anything more. "
"No, I'm protecting myself!"
"Then why have you been avoiding me?"
"I haven't…" Sakura buried her face in his shoulder as she cried, the words coming out to softly that Kakashi had to strain to hear. "I don't want to lose you too. I am protecting myself from you hurting me. Only ninjas get hurt."
"I'm sure that the civilian earlier would disagree with you."
Silence filled the room as Kakashi's words sunk in, and he pulled away once her tears had stopped, placing a piece of black cloth in her hand and turning to leave. He was stopped by her soft, pain filled voice.
"I'm sure that she has people who want to help her." The words were not bitter. "She –"
"She was saved by ninja."
"No, she'll be saved by the people who care."
Soft lips ghosted over hers, before vanishing, leaving Sakura to stare at the leaf symbol that she held in her palm. His final words lingered long after he did.
"I care, Sakura."
A/N – Well, that was the final chapter! *cries* This was the most difficult chapter to write, I have to say, but this was how I had planned the ending all along. A bit angsty I know.
As for Sakura being a civilian, I am sorry that that was not explained properly, but I wanted to do it without any awkward conversations, and there are hints in that 'civilians don't get hurt' that suggests why she doesn't want to be a ninja anymore.
Hopefully, everything is now tied together.
I'm gonna miss this fic! Thank you so much for reading it! xxxxxx
Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this fic, you are absolutely amazing, wonderful, helpful people! So thank you –
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