"Kurt Hummel, you are a complete idiot!" Rachel repeated for the twentieth time since yesterday, when they'd arrived in New York.
"I know, okay?" Kurt sighed. "I've been over it in my head too many times to count."
"You almost didn't even sit next to him! You actually forced me to push you into that seat." Rachel laughed, rolling her eyes at her best friend.
They were seated on two long lounge chairs which they had decided to move out onto their covered balcony. Earlier that morning, Rachel had run to the small, independently-owned grocery store 5 minutes away to pick up some essentials, and they were sharing blueberry pancakes, one of Kurt's favourite comfort foods.
"He was gorgeous!" Rachel continued. "Why didn't you at least put your name in his phone-"
"If I had thought of it, I probably wouldn't have had time to do it. He was walking away, Rach."
"Then you should have kissed him."
Kurt was taken aback. "Excuse me? Did you forget that I barely know him? We sat on the plane for a few hours. That doesn't give me the right to sexually assault him in the middle of a crowded airport."
"Seriously, Kurt, I don't think he would have minded. You should have seen how he was looking at you – like he was mesmerized or something." Rachel sighed in awe. "We haven't even been here two days yet and you managed to find the hottest guy on the planet. Remind me again why you didn't give him your fucking number?"
"I know it was stupid, okay? I froze. You don't have to keep reminding me of what I could have done, because I didn't. It's over. He's gone." Kurt looked away from Rachel, worried that she'd somehow see how he was feeling.
Blaine wasn't just a guy on the plane. He was...amazing. Sure, Kurt had seen beautiful boys before, but he'd definitely never seen anything like Blaine. He had the most adorable dark curls that framed his face perfectly, and his eyes were a gorgeous shade of metallic hazel, smouldering even in his grogginess from travel. Kurt was fascinated by every aspect of him: the way he acted confident but got nervous so easily, the way he walked with his head slightly down as though there was always something on his mind, the way he got easily distracted, and the way he made Kurt want to know so much more.
He was difficult to describe. It wasn't just who Blaine was that interested Kurt so much, it was how he made him feel. Kurt felt like he was accepted around the other boy, like he understood who he was without him having to say a word. Blaine put him at ease and brought out the best side of him. He made Kurt feel like the person he'd been waiting to become for four years. He made him feel free.
Kurt wasn't sure how to explain that to Rachel, or even if he could. Kurt had never been in a relationship before, never even kissed someone that he liked. In Lima, he had felt so oppressed, like no matter how comfortable he was with himself and his sexuality, he could never be accepted by those around him. His family had been amazing, of course, and always stood by his side. Kurt had no idea how he could have survived without them. He'd been through hell at his old school, four years of name calling, slushies, and death threats. He had been the only openly gay boy at McKinley. Love hadn't exactly been easy to find. As much as he hated to admit it, the fact that he'd remained single had probably kept the constant bullying to a level where he could tolerate it enough to make it through. Kurt didn't even want to imagine what would have happened if he'd walked through the halls hand in hand with his boyfriend or kissed a guy at his locker before class.
New York was what pulled him through. His dad often told him that he should do whatever he could to stick it out, stay strong, and focus on his future until he could get to a place where it was safe to be himself. His dad had gone to the principal, the superintendent, and even members of the Central Ohio board of education, but nothing had stopped the constant humiliation Kurt had to face. There were other high schools in Ohio with zero-tolerance bullying policies, but they weren't in Kurt's district and his father couldn't move because of the auto shop he owned.
It still stung to remember the prank calls at 2 am on Saturdays, from the football team. The jocks pretending to ask him out in the cafeteria. He'd been a community punching bag; anyone who thought they were cool enough had the right to shove him into a locker. He was lucky if he went a day without being called "fag" or "homo". So he hadn't been in a position to be in a relationship of any kind. Not that anyone would have come out as gay once they saw what Kurt had had to go through.
Kurt thought that maybe his attraction to Blaine was a reaction to becoming free of the oppression. He finally could hold a boy's hand, go on a date, and tell a boy he loved him. It seemed a huge coincidence that he thought he'd found the boy of his dreams the second he arrived at the airport to leave Lima. But maybe he was just over thinking things. It didn't matter anyway; he probably wouldn't be given another chance to make a fool of himself in front of Blaine Anderson.
Despite his thoughts, the idea of never seeing Blaine again caused a surprisingly forceful lurch in his stomach. It was hard to believe that he cared so much about a boy after spending such little time with him. Kurt wasn't the type to get attached to things too easily. He had lost his mother at a young age, and that had left a huge impact on him. It really surprised him how close he'd allowed himself to get with the other boy in just a few hours. It scared him a little bit, although he'd never admit that out loud.
Rachel seemed to notice the look on his face, because she changed the subject. "Come on. Let's get ready and go out. It is our first full day in New York, and we have a lot of exploring to do."
Kurt smiled. "We do. We also have a lot of things to buy for this apartment, seeing as it lacks, um, everything."
"Kurt, it's furnished," Rachel reminded him. "I agree, it's not the best furniture in the world, but we definitely have most of the essentials. We need to pick up some things for the kitchen, maybe a Wicked poster..."
Kurt laughed. "Wicked, of course. But seriously, the color of the bathroom makes me sick. And I don't even know if you can classify the desk chair as a piece of furniture."
It was Rachel's turn to smile as she got up from the lounge chair on their balcony. "Then our first stop is Target."
"Target?" Kurt scowled.
"We're in New York, remember? We're officially living on a budget. I want to save money for things like decorations; we should get the essentials for as cheap as possible. Besides, don't you plan on buying a whole new wardrobe now that we're here?"
"Fine," Kurt grumbled after a moment of consideration. "But if you try to buy any plastic furniture..."
"You'll kill me?" Rachel finished for him, grabbing her best friend's hand and pulling him up from where he was seated. "I know. Now go get ready. So much New York, so little time."
Kurt couldn't resist grinning as he took in the view from their balcony. He turned to Rachel, seeing that her eyes were just as bright as he knew his were. "We really made it, didn't we?"
"We did." Rachel's smile was huge as she looked back at Kurt. He could tell that she was having just as much trouble believing it as he was. "Kurt, we're really here."
He gestured around the apartment as they walked back into their kitchen. "This is ours, Rach. We officially live in New York."
Rachel pulled him into a tight hug. "You made it, Kurt. You showed everyone who ever doubted you."
"Well, there's still a long way to go." He blushed slightly and gently pulled away from the embrace. Then he took off running across the kitchen, into the living area, and leaped over the bed before reaching the tiny bathroom at the back of their apartment.
"Kuuurt!" Rachel groaned as she rushed after him. "We were going to make bathroom rules! I have to get ready too."
"I know," Kurt allowed, never leaving his place in the doorway. "But my hair dries faster. I won't be long."
"Kurt, I could have my hair washed, dried, and styled before you're even out of the shower."
"Such a lie," Kurt pointed out. "You've taken a million showers at my house, and they're always like, two hours long."
"Fine, go ahead." Rachel was slightly annoyed but she still let a small laugh escape her lips. "But tomorrow, I'm going first."
Much to Kurt's surprise, the furniture at Target wasn't half bad. There were definitely some decent items that he and Rachel managed to pick up. She'd found her Wicked poster, and they helped each other decide on smaller accents, like a few vases and picture frames. Once they had finished unpacking their belongings, they could start personalizing their apartment with photos, souvenirs, mementos; all of the things that would make the space specifically them.
They'd lugged their new Target purchases back to their apartment in a cab, and then taken the old, groaning elevator up. Both Kurt and Rachel had spent over an hour unpacking, arranging new items, and putting pictures in frames.
Rachel smiled as she opened the small box of photos her and Kurt had brought from home. She pulled out the one on top and laughed.
"Do you remember this? Our first show choir competition."
Kurt walked up behind Rachel and glanced at the photo of her, Mercedes, Tina, and himself on stage, making funny faces at the camera, which had been held by Finn.
"Of course. How could I forget? It was the first time I had fun since high school started. That was one of my first real smiles."
"Kurt." Rachel turned around and gave him one of her pitiful i-feel-bad-for-you looks.
"It's okay. That club is the reason I'm here today."
"Me too, I think," Rachel agreed as she took the rest of the photos out of the box.
"No way," Kurt shook his head. "We all know you would have found your way to Broadway."
"Maybe, but I never would have made it. New Directions taught me about compromise, and being part of something bigger than you. That was kind of a foreign concept for me before glee."
"You were kind of diva," Kurt allowed, and laughed. He then retired to the bathroom, where he was determined to offset the horrible wall colour with accessories.
Half an hour later, Rachel was arranging two of the new vases on a shelf when Kurt finally realized how hungry he was.
"I'm starved, Rach," He announced from the bathroom, where he was hanging their new shower curtain. It made the colour of the walls look almost pretty.
"There's food in the fridge, you know," Rachel called out to her best friend.
"I don't want to eat here," Kurt sighed. "We're in New York city. I think it's technically illegal to have dinner in your apartment when there are so many amazing restaurants out there."
"I think I saw a Breadstix when we were coming back from Target-"
Kurt stepped out of the bathroom, satisfied with his work. "Are you serious, Rachel? How very Lima of you. To suggest eating at the only restaurant we have back home. We're moving on, remember?"
"But they have the best salads, Kurt!" Rachel whined.
"Which you happened to eat with Finn all the time when you were together." Kurt gave her a knowing look. "Do we need to have a talk?"
Rachel blushed. "I'm sorry. It's stupid, I know. I just feel like I'm in this huge new place, and nothing is us. Not even our apartment. Not yet. I mean, we have a few pictures up on the walls, but this could be any apartment in New York. I just need a piece of Finn, of home…of myself, you know?"
Kurt smiled. "You are that piece, Rach. You don't need to go back to Lima. Not literally, and not in your head either. You made a decision to leave, and I know that it's scary, but it's what you want. Give it time, okay? You're stronger than that."
Rachel leaned against her best friend's shoulder. "What would I do without you? It's like you manage to simplify everything that's going on in my head."
"That's my job," Kurt laughed, and gave her hand a quick squeeze.
"Hey, I think I know where we should go for dinner. It's incredibly New York, and I think you'll like it."
"Alright, I just have to call my dad for a minute. He'll be worried if I don't check in."
"You're adorable, you know that right?"
"Of course."
Kurt soon learned that Rachel's dinner plans involved a bench in central park and two vegetarian hot dogs. It was just what he needed after a long day. Central park truly was beautiful, and he felt like he was in some kind of movie. The fact that he had finally made it to this city was still very surreal. He had a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach that this was all somehow a dream, and at any minute, he'd have to wake up for another day at McKinley. But he did his best to enjoy the warm July breeze and honks of city cabs because, by some miracle, this was now his reality.
After they'd eaten, Kurt and Rachel went for a walk around the park, taking in all the other people: the runners in yoga pants and Lululemon sweaters, the artists with signs advertising caricatures, and the musicians playing violin or guitar.
"This is what I left Lima for," Rachel grinned as they turned around and headed in the opposite direction from which they'd come, out of central park. They'd just finished discussing their families back home.
Finn was leaving for Yale the next day, so Carole and Burt would officially be living by themselves. But Rachel's dads had assured Kurt that they would both visit the Hummels frequently. Kurt was glad to hear that his family was doing okay. He knew that they missed him, and he missed them equally, if not more. But they seemed to be getting on with their own lives. Burt was beginning renovations at the auto shop, and Carole was leading a team of volunteers to raise money for the cancer unit at the hospital where she worked. Nothing made him happier than to know that his family was continuing their lives in his absence. Hopefully it meant that they'd also ease up on the nonstop calls. If he didn't pick up on the first ring, they'd immediately start to worry.
Just as they were leaving the park, Kurt heard someone playing guitar. He couldn't make out the song at first, but he recognized the melody and it somehow sounded familiar. The person playing was around the corner, obscured by trees, but Kurt could have sworn that he knew exactly who it was.
"Rach, stop," Kurt held out a hand and pulled her back towards him. "I recognize that song. That music. I know who's playing that."
"Don't be silly, Kurt. You don't know anyone in New York yet," Rachel rolled her eyes. "But of course you recognize the song. It's Drive By!"
The musician around the corner began singing, and Kurt had to suppress the urge to run towards the source of the music. "It's him, Rachel!"
"What? Who are you talking about?" She followed behind him, and Kurt knew her concerned expression well.
Kurt turned the corner just in time to slip behind the small crowd of people surrounding…Blaine. He was standing there wearing a plaid shirt and light jeans, with his guitar and his perfect smile. Kurt wasn't sure he'd ever seen anything as beautiful in his entire life.
When Blaine sang, he truly came to life. There was a new light in his eyes that hadn't been there at the airport, and he seemed lighter, as though whatever was on his mind mattered less. It would take a fool not to realize that this was where Blaine really belonged, playing in front of people, sharing his talent, his gift.
He had been so terrified that he would never get another chance to see this boy again, and now, here he was, just as perfect as ever.
On the other side of a street I knew
Stood a boy that looked like you
I guess that's deja vu
But I thought this can't be true
Cause you moved to west L.A or New York or Santa Fe
Or where ever to get away from me
Oh but that one night
Was more than just right
God, his voice was beautiful. And Kurt couldn't help but smile at how he'd changed girl to boy. It was New York, after all. If someone wanted to sing to a boy, then they could. Still, he half expected someone in the crowd to yell an insult or throw a slushie, but it never happened. This was central park, not the hallway of a high school in Ohio.
I didn't leave you cause I was all through
Oh I was overwhelmed and frankly scared as hell
Because I really fell for you
Oh I swear to you
I'll be there for you
This is not a drive by
Just a shy guy looking for a two ply
Hefty bag to hold my love
When you move me everything is groovy
They don't like it sue me
Mhm the way you do me
Oh I swear to you
I'll be there for you
This is not a drive by
Kurt moved forward and gently pushed past people until he was near the front of the crowd. He knew the moment Blaine saw him. He stopped playing for a few beats and his hazel eyes grew wide, taking in Kurt's. Then he recovered and his face broke into a huge, beautiful smile that seemed to reach every part of him. He moved towards Kurt, and much to his surprise, began singing directly to him.
On the upside of a downward spiral
My love for you went viral
And I loved you every mile you drove away
But now here you are again
So let's skip the "how you been" And
get down to the "more than friends" at last
Oh but that one night
Is still the highlight
I didn't need you until I came to
and I was overwhelmed and frankly scared as hell
Because I really fell for you
Kurt blushed deeply, especially when people in the crowd started clapping and cheering. Blaine was so damn close to him. His eyes hadn't left the other boy's since the moment they met. Blaine's were on fire, melting the shiny hazel into equal pools of liquid metal. Somehow, Kurt didn't think that they needed words to express what they were feeling. The music was enough.
Oh I swear to you
I'll be there for you
This is not a drive by
Just a shy guy looking for a two ply
Hefty bag to hold my love
When you move me everything is groovy
They don't like it sue me
Mhm the way you do me
Oh I swear to you
I'll be there for you
This is not a drive by
Kurt's breathing stopped short as Blaine wrapped the strap of his guitar around his back, reaching over him to play the chords. He felt the other boy all around him, skin against denim, cotton against canvas. The crowd of people let out a cheer. Kurt blushed even harder and tried to focus on regaining control of his breathing and hammering heartbeat. All he could hear was Blaine's beautiful voice in his ear, the melody from his guitar, and the other boy's breathing, as fast and shallow as his.
Please believe that when I leave
There's nothing up my sleeve but love for you
And a little time to get my head together too
On the other side of a street I knew
Stood a boy that looked like you
I guess that's deja vu
But I thought this can't be true
Cause
Oh I swear to you
I'll be there for you
This is not a drive by
Just a shy guy looking for a two ply
Hefty bag to hold my love
When you move me everything is groovy
They don't like it sue me
Mhm the way you do me -
"Oh, fuck this." Blaine let go of his guitar and grabbed Kurt's arm, spinning him around. The guitar strap was still over both of their shoulders, pushing them closer together, with Blaine's guitar against Kurt's back. He gently touched one of his hands to Kurt's cheek, and he had just enough time for one last shallow breath before Blaine pressed his lips against his, slowly at first, and then faster, but rhythmically, as though some inaudible melody was playing. The crowd, now much larger, seemed to roar with excitement, and their kiss received a standing ovation worthy of only the greatest Broadway musical. The world seemed to spin, and Kurt was lost in Blaine, in the rhythm of his lips, the feeling of his hands tangled in his dark curls, and the surprisingly soft skin along his jawline.
When he finally pulled away, Kurt opened his eyes and stared into the other boy's. They were still liquid, still melted metal, but somehow softer, and he felt as though he was seeing some part of Blaine he'd missed before. Behind them, the crowd let out another cheer.
"You said New York wasn't that big of a city. I guess you were right," Blaine smiled.
"Since that day at the airport, have you managed to hang onto your phone?"
"By some miracle, I haven't lost it again. Why?"
"I forgot to give you my number."