Chapter 16
It seemed like the sun took forever to rise in the morning, but in reality it only took a matter of hours. At least that's what Finn estimated as he sat on the roof. He'd lost track of time sitting up there. One time is was 2:00 am and then the clock hopped to 5:00 am. He knew he'd have to to be into work in 2 hours from now if this was a normal day. But it wasn't.
Rachel had been gone for 3 days now. In his mind, too long. The police were working as hard as they could and still no leads came up. He was stuck sitting in the dark. He'd had large amounts of hope in the beginning. He was waiting for the day they'd bring her home and she'd be in his arms again. But now, 3 days later, here he was, sitting on the top of a rooftop; still longing for that smile to light up his day like it did the day he last saw her. All of that hope disappeared when the sun rose.
Saying he was doing terrible was a bit of an understatement. He hadn't left the house unless he was called to the police station for different things. He was living off of pizza and liquor. He'd also cut off all communication from his friends and family. He didn't want to see another person unless that person was either Rachel or the person who told him that she was coming home. And right now as the sun shown on his face, hinting a new day, Finn's hope for that to happen inched more into the negative department. New day, less hope. Finn wasn't really good in math, but any idiot could put two and two together. The answer would be four and for Finn, no Rachel.
Swinging down another sip of whiskey from the bottle, Finn looked out at the bright sun. It was supposed to symbol happiness and new beginnings. They didn't say, "New day, new beginning," for no reason. The sun was supposed to be the rope pulling him out of the sadness he was facing. Instead, it was the weight pushing him further down into things. How did things get so messed up? Finn really didn't know.
"I really wish you would stop smacking so hard on that burger. I'm trying to study.." Rachel said, looking down at her textbook.
"Sorry to disturb you, Steve Urkel, but it's too good. Plus, it's 3 weeks until summer, you should be celebrating not studying." Finn replied.
"I have to get an A on that Biology final or else my GPA goal for the year will go to waste. Plus, you're graduating and leaving me alone. That's depressing, not something to celebrate." She said, pushing her glasses closer to her eyes. She tried to avoid eye contact. Staring down at her book, she tried to ignore the tears building up. This had been going on for weeks now.
"Oh my gosh, is Rachel Berry actually admitting that she's going to miss me?" He exclaimed, laughing.
"You're such a jerk!" She smiled, throwing her pencil at him.
"And you're a little nerd. Why aren't you looking at me? What's wrong? You're hiding something.." He said, as he watched her eyes fixate on the book. She was hiding something, but he didn't need to know.
When she lifted her head, she had a single tear rolling beneath her glasses and onto her cheek.
"Aw, C'mon Berry, don't cry." he smiled sympathetically and placed his hand over hers.
"It's not gonna be easy, Finn." She whispered. "I know this sounds so melodramatic, but I don't think I'm gonna be able to cope with you not being here anymore," she sniffed. "You're my best friend and I need you by my side."
"You're going to do fine. I know you Rach. Think about it this way; in less than four weeks, you're going to be a junior. Then, in a year your going to be a senior. After that, you'll be going to college and we'll go to New York like we talked about. Everything is already playing itself out." He smiled.
"You make it sound so simple." She frowned.
"Isn't it?" He asked.
"No. I'm doomed." She said, placing her head on the table.
"Well if you believe that, we've got exactly 3 weeks before I'm in that cap and gown accepting my diploma. Let's make them count." He said, holding up his burger.
"Let's make them count," she repeated. "Why do all of the good things always have to end? Isn't there a way to make them last forever?" She asked.
"I don't know. But I really wish I did." He said, staring down at his burger. Laughing, she shoved it in his face.
"What was that for?" He laughed.
"You looked hungry.." she said, giggling filled the air until full blown laughter took it's place.
That same laugh filled his head as he looked out onto the horizon. The city seemed different now. Peaceful, calm, disturbingly quiet. The usual sound of horns were now limited. He didn't know what was going on. Maybe it was the strong wind that was gathered up on that rooftop. Or maybe it was just his deep mountain of thoughts piling in his head and blocking out the outside world.
He thought about how she asked him why good things always had to come to an end. He still didn't have an answer. He guess he had to blame it on the messed up world they lived in now. Or, rather the messed up people they lived on earth with.
In that moment he thought about how they lived their lives as children. Everything was more simple then. But why wouldn't it be, given the fact that the worst possible thing they had to deal with was rain on days they'd want to play or parents separating or divorcing.
They were always surrounded by their parents to shield them from the outside world. They always had the grown ups to deal with the grown up problems. They didn't understand that someone could be so malicious to kill someone. They looked at the world and saw laughter, happiness, and life. Evil, murder, kidnaps, and rape were always stuck waiting around the corner for when they were old enough. So, now that Finn was old enough, he wished he was still that small child.
He still remembered the day that his world became different. It was the day that his father died. No matter how he tried to avoid it, the terrible memory would always be there, haunting him like a ghost on halloween.
"If I get to that tree before you, you have to buy me a soda." Rachel said, pointing to one of the many trees in Finn's backyard as they stood on the swing set.
The year was 2001. Finn was 9 and Rachel was 7. They were playing after school like every other day. Although today wasn't like every other day. They'd soon find that out.
"I'm gonna beat you." He smiled.
"Nah ah, I'm the fastest runner in my class." She explained.
"Well, I'm older and taller." He defended, crossing his arms.
"Whatever." She said. "On the count of three."
"It's on!" He said as they both jumped down to get on the grass.
"One,"
"Two,"
"Three!" Rachel exclaimed as they both took off.
Getting to the tree, Rachel frowned. Finn was standing there breathing heavily as he smiled down at her.
"I won."
"That's not fair!" she exclaimed, stomping her foot. "You always win at everything."
"It's not my fault you run like a turtle." He said.
"Whatever. What's your prize?" She asked.
"I don't have to be the prince anymore." He said.
"What? No! That's not fair!" She said, getting upset.
"Its for girls... Why can't we play football?" He asked.
"Football is stupid!" she yelled.
"Well, you're stupid." he retorted.
"I'm going home." She said, as tears built up in her eyes.
"Good." He said, as he turned and ran to his back door. That was the last time he saw Rachel before his world changed.
He remembered walking into the house and finding his mother crying. That's when she sat him down and told him what was going on. He remembered feeling like he couldn't breath. He felt scared and alone.
That's how he felt now. Back then, when things got terrible and he felt like he had no one, he never knew he was wrong. But he was. She was always there. Rachel was always there. Right now, he wished he would have realized it then. Because now, he felt the same way and she wasn't there.
He sat there on the swing thinking about everything that just happened. When he found out, he ran so fast out of the house. His mind couldn't process the fact that he would never see his dad again. Tears streamed down his face as he violently kicked the ground. He stared at the ground, thanking God that no one was around to see him cry this hard.
He had no idea how he would go on. No one he knew ever went through this and he was scared. He loved his father and he was a big part of him. He missed him and he felt like something was crashing his air way. He wanted to be somewhere else. He wanted his mind to be somewhere else than here. But, he knew that wasn't possible, so he sat on the swing crying.
He barely heard her as she walked behind him. Her footsteps were like feathers and he didn't hear the leave crunching under her feet because the thoughts in his head were screaming at him. He finally noticed her when the swing next to him began to move.
"I'm sorry for getting mad.." She whispered.
"Go away." he said.
Looking up at him, she noticed he was trying to hide his face from her.
"Why are you crying, Finny?" She asked, getting up from the swing and walking toward him.
"I don't want to talk about it. Go home." He said, as he got up and started to walk away.
Chasing after him, she grabbed his arm and pulled him back to face her.
"Please, Finn, just tell me."
Rachel watched as his lips quivered and any hiding he had been doing crumpled to the ground. His face became red and tears streamed down his face.
"My dad died.."
That's when the words sunk in. She hugged him and from that point on, she tried not to leave his side. She was always there after that.
Things got better when Kurt and Burt came into their lives. But, Finn will never forget the way Rachel hugged him and stayed with him in his deepest and darkest hours and moments.
All he wanted now was to just have her there for him again. He was sick of listening to her voicemails and holding her pictures in his arms. He was sick of avoiding there bed. He was sick of feeling like he could die. He wanted her there next to him looking out onto the horizon like they did when they were in college. He wanted her to take these feelings away from him.
Whenever you lose someone, the first thing that happens in your mind is a flashback. You think of all of the memories that you had with that person and how you can never have them again. Well, something similar was happening with Finn. But instead of a million memories, Finn's mind was playing back one night. The night he told the whole entire bar he loved her and how they slowly danced in the street to no music.
Even the slightest memory of her brought him to his absolute worst. He'd always known that he loved her, but this was making him realize just how much he did. He felt that if he couldn't be with her than he'd be with no one. If they'd find her dead, we would die too. He would lose the love of his life and his very best friend at the same time. He wouldn't be able to cope. They had to find her. They just had to.
The pain was unbearable. It flew through her body like a million knives. Every kick and punch that was thrown was like torture. She sat there and one thing was for sure. She would die in this tiny space. She wanted to fight back, and she would if she could, but all she did was close her eyes and take the blows. Occasionally groaning at the intensity of the pain.
She'd chosen to give up. Even though her heart was screaming at her to make the choice to keep going, her head was telling her to just sit there and take it because there was nothing else that she could do.
Mandy had untied her from the chair and gave her the opportunity to fight for herself. Rachel tried in the beginning. She tried to run, and that didn't work. She tried to fight back, but then she realized that Mandy had some sort of fighting training. She then realized that this was all some sick joke to this girl.
She felt so weak. Especially when she fell to the ground and Mandy started to kick her violently. Now, as she curled up on the floor, Mandy was kicking her still. She showed no mercy every time Rachel begged for her to stop. The only thing she could do was let go. So, she did. Her body loosened and allowed every blow to do it's damage to her body. She knew she was going to die down here, so why not let it happen if there was no way out of it?
She played one thing through her mind. This one thing was the only thing allowing her not to fall off of the edge. Finn. His voice and face was in her mind, telling her to come home to him and stay strong. Her heart broke every time she thought of him.
After her first beating two days, she was left feeling like her ribs were broken, which she knew that they were. In that moment, she thought of him. She cried her eyes out that night and every other night that followed. There was only a certain amount of pain and sadness that she could take. This was the drawing point. She was done fighting. She was finished praying to God that she would be reunited with her love and family. She just wished that she would have made up with Kurt and her dads before she was kidnapped. Now, she'd never get the chance to say her goodbyes.
When the kicks stopped, Rachel's body was aching badly. She couldn't move. Tears were making there way down her cheeks. Her cheeks fell hot with anger and hatred. Especially when Mandy noticed and began to laugh at her.
"Not so strong now are we?" she asked, smirking her ugly smirk at her.
She didn't reply. Instead she stared at the ground right by her face. She held herself as she cried from the pain. She didn't care anymore. She wasn't strong enough to carry on with this.
"Y-y-you win. I-I-I give up.. P-p-please, let me live." Rachel sobbed as she held her body.
"Now why would I do that?" she asked, kicking Rachel in her face.
There was a lot of pain and then none. There was darkness.
Three hours had flown by for Finn and he had no idea. He was still in the same spot. Looking out onto the city, drowning in his loud thoughts. His mind would never leave him alone. Even when he was sleeping, his dreams surrounded by her. She'd been gone for so long, he thought. It felt like it was a million years since the last time he saw her. Since the last time he held her small frame in his arms. In reality, three days were going past.
His heart was aching in his chest. He was holding onto the edge of sanity and his fingers were slipping. He was shaking. His eyes were drooping seeing as though he never got any sleep last night. He felt lifeless and no one was there to help him. He didn't want them to be.
The house was a mess. He was a mess. He had no intentions of changing that either. He'd already cried four times today and he had the most certainty that that would be the last time. He would stop crying when her long dark locks were pressed against his nose. He would stop crying when her soft lips were pressed against his. He would stop when she was in his arms again. According to the world, that would be a long time from now if it even would happen. Finn knew that this could possibly it. He could possibly lose her like he lost his father. And the very thought of that shut down his lungs. If they were to find her dead, he would be dead on the inside. He would never live happily ever again and he'd spend the rest of his life depressed.
Before he could further his thoughts, something on the side of him began to ring. It was his phone. He was so deep in thought, he forgot that it was there. Sighing, he knew that it'd be one of his family members or friends wanting to talk and he would not do that. Picking up the phone to hit ignore, he stopped when he saw the number. He recognized it as the NYPD's number. Detective Rousseau.
"Hello?" he quickly answered.
"Hello, Mr. Hudson?"
"Yes, that's me." he replied.
"Well, Mr. Hudson, you're going to want to get down to the police station. We've got a lead."
"W-w-what?" he asked.
"We've found something.."
Finn was speechless.
Sorry it's so short.. I will try to update as soon as possible. Hopefully I wont be too busy. Hope everyone liked it. Review! :)