I neatly fold the suit, and set it next to me on the bed, waiting to go back in the bag just as it was. I pull out the envelope Finnick had given me before we left District 13 on our mission to the Capitol. He instructed me that if he did not make it out alive, to give this to Annie when I deemed the time appropriate. I'm sure now is that time. Today is the 20 year, "anniversary" I guess you could call it, since Finnick's death. But not only Finnick's death, Boggs, and Mitchell. Musella, Jackson, Leeg 1 and 2. Castor, and Holmes. All because of me. And that's only a small fraction of the amount of those have died because of me. Who would be alive today? Who would be married? Who would have children? I'm sure Finnick and Annie would have had more than one. Annie. I bring myself back, focusing on what I need to do.
I put the bag back where I found it, and shut the door. I decide to leave the window open, to be sure that there is no trace of the smell left. I head out the door and walk down the hall towards the study with the letter. I call Annie, and we chat for a good hour or so. She seems great, but I don't really know her well enough to judge this over the phone. She tells me her and Junior will be heading to District 12 in five days. A visit is long over due, and this is the perfect chance to give her the letter, and the news. Annie and I have held a relationship over the years. She understands what we've been through, since our similar fates so many years ago.
Finnick and Annie's son, Finnick Odair II, is now a young man. Peeta gave him the nickname Junior when he was born, and it stuck with us over the years. From the pictures I've seen, he resembles Finnick so much it's astounding. I sit alone in the study for another half hour after we hang up, reflecting on the conversation. Excitement beams through me as I think about Annie & Junior's upcoming arrival. Annie & Finnick's arrival. What should be Finnick, Annie, and Junior. I guess I will finally get the chance to see how she is holding up.
Then I remember what I have to prepare for, in a few short days. A feeling overcomes me, one that's too familiar. I'm putting my walls up. Secluding myself from the outside world, trying to protect myself. Reminding myself that anyone I get to close to or care about could so easily get taken away. I try to swallow, but it feels like hijacked hands are around my throat. Theres a tiny knock at the door.
"Mommy?"
The voice brings me back to reality, out of my cocoon of selfishness. I remember there are others whose lives are more valuable to me than my own, who need me to protect them. The walls go crashing down.
"I'll be right out, Pearl." I reply quick, and emotionless.
My precious Pearl. My most beautiful gift from Peeta.