I recognize the voice automatically, though I can't locate where it's coming from.
Leyla taps my arm and points upwards, towards the direction of my tall dresser.
"And I repeat, Cato, where have you been?" she purrs, face set in a sneer.
It's a weird feeling to have to look up to talk to her.
Clove absolutely hates when she wants something and the person isn't there to give it to her. We all revolve around her, at least in her mind.
"Where's your Avox?" I ask, dodging the question. I'm not sure just how much I want to tell my ally. On one hand, she could keep my secret and possibly assist me in my endeavors. On the other, she could sell me out to Enobaria to win the woman's favor.
Without answering, Clove begins to wiggle forward to jump off the dresser and onto the floor. Before I can stop myself, I stride across the room and catch her before she can hit the floor. I adjust her in my arms so that I am carrying her like those husbands do to their brides on TV. She hates being carried like this, so I try to do it as often as possible. The bruises and cuts I receive afterwards have yet to deter me.
"What the hell, Cato? It's not that far of a jump, I would have been fine," she grumbles, struggling against the captive binds of my arms.
She is just so light, she doesn't really have a chance to break free. Silly Clove would need to be smarter than this in the Arena if she was ever captured… though I don't know why anyone would want to "steal" her. She wouldn't make a very good prisoner, and most people would probably cut their ears off after an hour with her. She made "annoying" into an art form.
"I wouldn't want my wittle Clovey to hurt her baby ankles, now would I?" I babble, using the baby voice my parents used to use when my sister was just born.
As I talk, I use my fingers closest to her shoulders and squeeze them under her arm in order to tickle her armpit. She immediately starts squealing, begging me to stop and put her down, while laughter rakes her body.
Before I can even begin to feel triumphant in rendering Clove helpless, I feel a sudden sharp pain on my face. Without thinking, I bring my hands up to my wound and wince when I hear Clove hit the floor. Two times tonight I've dropped her…I probably won't survive for training tomorrow.
I wonder if Katniss would be disappointed. Or glad that the primary enemy for her precious Puppy was dead.
I look down, expecting to see a murderous expression marring Clove's usually decent looking face. Instead, I see what can only be described as the picture of innocence.
"Aw, Cato-kins, I'm sorry about your face. You poor thing, that must hurt so bad," she coos, patting my foot from her position still on the floor.
By some miracle, I resist the urge to punt her across the room. And who said I didn't have self control? Pshh…
With that thought, I quickly realize that she, in fact, had just kicked me in the face. It's clear that she did it on purpose, as there is no way her foot could have connected with my face without some serious bending and maneuvering. I hate flexible people.
In seconds, I've scooped Clove up and tossed her onto the bed. She scrambles to the headboard and then turns to face me, crouched on all fours preparing for one of our wrestling matches. Clove pulls her teeth back, letting out a small hiss. I smile at how catlike she can be, sharp claws and everything. She tried to adopt one at the Academy… it didn't go so well. I'm still surprised that the girl who ratted her out is still alive.
I'm suddenly struck by how much I'm going to miss Clove. As Victor, sure I'll be one of the richest people in District 2, but I won't have my best friend making snide comments next to me to make all the social interaction bearable. Katniss will likely be dead, and there's no other girl who has even come close to meeting my standards.
Clove, noticing my distractedness, attacks first, wrapping her arms around my middle and pushing me over.
"Pinned ya," she smirks triumphantly.
"Oh, really?" I ask, raising my eyebrow. Before she can even blink, I flip her over so that she's sandwiched between me and the bed.
"Damn Cato, you've gotten fat lately," she laughs, not even bothering to struggle against my hold. I always win these matches, except that one time she kneed me... I cringe at the memory.
I continue to stare at her, curiously. When did I become such a softie for my little brat?
"Cato?" she asks, clearly unsettled by my quietness.
"Do you remember the first time we met?" I question, ignoring her surprised expression.
She snorts, "How could I forget? It was our first day at the Academy and someone already tried to beat my ass."
I hear the door open and then close, and I briefly register that Leyla has left.
I lift myself off Clove and pull her into my lap, like I used to when she needed to be soothed (usually after someone sent her into a rage. She was never much of a crier.)
Before I can stop myself, I get lost in the memories.
I remember the first time I saw her.
I had left my dorm to take a walk around the grounds. Orientation had been beyond boring, and I needed to stretch my legs and burn off some of my restless energy. I headed towards the gardens, an area I had seen during the tour that instantly reminded me of home. My little sister loved to tend to the gardens with my mom, and our house had one of the nicest gardens in the entire district.
I heard a commotion behind one of the greenhouses, and I decided to check it out. Sneaking quietly towards the edge of the building, I poked my head around the wall to see what was going on.
It was hard to make out what was happening, but I instantly recognized the fraternal twins from my grade standing ten feet away from me, leering at their prey. One had sandy brown hair and was taller than his brother, who had darker brown hair and was also slightly fatter.
I had spent all day with them, and they were two people I automatically disliked due to their incessant need to make comments about everything, like we fucking cared about their useless opinions. They were my first targets to take out during training, and I couldn't wait to punch them out at the first chance I got.
One of the brothers moved a little to the side, and I was finally able to see who their victim was.
I couldn't help but be sickened by who they chose.
She was so little, probably the smallest student currently at the Academy. I had heard rumors about her, Clove, I think they said her name was. The girls had their orientation separate from us, so I hadn't seen many of my female peers just yet, but everyone was talking about her.
She was one of the youngest students the Academy had ever let in, three years younger than me at age 10. No one was usually allowed to start training before age 10, which was around the time puberty started in our District, so we were all starting to grow and mature. Well…most of us. I wasn't sure what was wrong with these idiots. Who picked on a seven year old?
Before heading to the Academy, our parents are supposed to make sure we are well fed, fit, and raised to understand the importance of the Games to our District. There was nothing more important to District 2 than bringing honor to the District by winning, and those who did so were instant celebrities. Those who shamed the District were killed immediately. Our trainers would teach us the techniques and skills we needed to win, but our parents were there to teach us the mindsets needed to survive the Academy and the Arena.
I watched as Clove stared at them defiantly. I could see the challenge in her eyes even from this distance, daring them to attack her. I liked her attitude, but I really didn't think she had a chance if they both decided to jump her at once.
"They say you must be really talented," one mocked, turning my attention from the girl to the shorter brother.
"We think you look like a runt," the other added, his brother nodding in agreement. "We're betting that your daddy paid a lot of money to send you here, hoping the Academy would make something of his pathetic, worthless offspring."
The taller brother had something in his hands, but I couldn't tell from my position what it was. He was frequently turning it over in his palm, so I reasoned it wasn't a knife or something else sharp.
"You wanna take the risk?" she taunted, glaring harshly at them, "Let's see what you've got."
I silently prayed the girl knew what she was getting in to.
"You asked for it," the taller brother retaliated before throwing the object as hard as he could at her.
She easily caught it with both hands, laughing darkly at the two brothers. I could see the anger building off the brother who had thrown the object, the redness standing out on his pale skin.
"You missed."
The boy who had thrown the object, which I could now see was a rather large rock, started to walk towards her. But before I could blink, he was on the ground with a gruesome gash on his forehead that was already bleeding profusely.
"Why you little bitch!" the short brother roared, lunging towards the black-haired girl. I saw the surprise and fear flash across her face before my instincts kicked in. I raced towards them as fast as I could (which was pretty fast, I might add, since I won the sprinting contest during orientation…and every other competition they had, not that I was one to brag).
I hit the boy at an angle so we didn't tumble into Clove, who would have probably been crushed to death by the impact of our large frames.
"Aw, how cute, Cato has a crush on the runt," the boy sneered from under me.
However, I could see the panic in his eyes as he tried to push me off him. He knew I was stronger than him, he'd seen me crush everyone at the Orientation competitions, even some of the older kids. He feared me and I reveled in it.
Because I wasn't one to play with my food, I spat in his eye before knocking him out.
"I had it taken care of, you know," she drawled, looking me up and down as I stood and brushed my hands off on my pants.
I rolled my eyes. Girls never appreciated when a man stood up for them.
"You're welcome, brat."
She laughed as she followed me back towards the school.
"Nice punch," she remarked, struggling to keep up with my quick pace.
I slowed down so she could catch up.
"Nice throw," I conceded, "Didn't think you had it in you."
"He's lucky I didn't have my knife on me. And you know you shouldn't underestimate your competition, or you'll be the first to die," she said, quoting one of our Orientation packet titles.
"Too true, Little One," I agreed.
We'd been through a lot together.
I was there when she lost her first fight, which happened to be against one of her female classmates. She refused to go to the hospital wing, so I had to patch her up. Clove still had a scar from it, but the Capitol doctors got rid of it during our "makeover" sessions. "Don't want this ugly thing to mar such a beautiful face," the stylist had chirped. I gave Clove a lot of credit for not stabbing her in the neck with one of the scalpels when the lady turned her back.
I was there for every nightmare she had, which tended to be often since she had such an active imagination. She had blackmailed one of the higher-ups in the Academy to let us share a room, claiming that we were training partners and should be able to work together outside of class. I never knew what she had on him, but it must have been pretty bad since the Academy was severely strict on boys and girls being in each other's bedrooms. Whenever she couldn't sleep, Clove would just sneak into my bed and cuddle up to me. No words were ever needed, which was nice since I sucked at speaking in general.
Hell, I was even there when she got her first period, which was a seriously awkward experience that still made me uncomfortable to think about. Thank god my mom had given me the "talk" before I left for the Academy, or I would have thought Clove was dying, since apparently her parents neglected to tell her about all the lady-nastiness she would eventually go through.
Her parents were too caught up in themselves to be good parents. My family had abandoned me after my sister had died. We were all each other had and would ever have. And we were still just children.
"You're the brother I never had," Clove whispered, drawing me from my memories, "And the one I would do anything for."
"And you're the little sister I never wanted, but grew to love anyways," I laughed, trying to lighten the mood and move away from my unusually depressing thoughts.
Her serious expression didn't crack.
"Citali would be so proud of you, Cato. Win or lose, you were always the world to her," Clove smiles.
She moves her head up from my chest and notices the tears in my eyes.
"Oh, Cato, what's gotten into you, today?" she murmurs, wiping the few tears that had slipped.
"This place makes me think too much about her. She absolutely worshiped you, Clove," I remark, laughing at how jealous I used to be.
We had a two week winter break in December each year at the Academy. Clove's parents had "accidentally" scheduled a trip to the Capitol for that time and insisted they couldn't reschedule, so I brought her home with me. She was the same age as my sister, so I figured they could hang out and do whatever girls that age do while my mom pampered me. I was a momma's boy, through and through, though I'd kill anyone who teased me about it. It made it even more painful when she kicked me out after Citali's death, most likely at my father's insistence.
What I didn't account for was how much my sister would adore Clove. The entire time, all I heard was-
"Cato, Clove is so great, look what she taught me to do!"
"Clove is way nicer than you, big bro."
"When I grow up, I want to be just like Clove!"
"Isn't Clove awesome?"
"Clove is so pretty, I wish I looked like her."
"You two should get married so Clove and I can be real sisters!"
Even my dad liked Clove…and he disliked everyone.
I probably would have hated Clove to this day if my mom hadn't intervened.
"What's wrong, buddy?" she asked on the last night before we were to return to school. "Did that fish say something to offend you?"
I roughly dropped the knife I had been using to prepare the fish for dinner and looked out the open window in our kitchen. I could see Citali laughing over something Clove had said, a look of total adoration on her face. The same look that she used to have when she looked at me… Before she met stupid fucking Clove, who was nowhere near as talented as me.
"Look at me, Cato," my mom commanded, obviously knowing already what was bothering me.
I reluctantly turned to look at her, not really interested in some lecture about how Clove was fucking fabulous, and I should just get used it.
"Your sister misses you dearly when you're at school, Cato. She loves you more than anything. Shit, she talks about you so much that your father has been debating on sending her to the Academy early just so he won't have to hear about it anymore," she chuckled, but we both know that will never happen.
Dad was fiercely protective over Citali, who even smaller than Clove. It was likely that he was going to send her to the Academy a few years after her 10th birthday, which was common for the smaller kids whose parents were hoping for a growth spurt. Of course she didn't know this fact yet, and I definitely didn't want to be there when she found out.
"She doesn't show it very well," I fumed, trying to keep my temper in check. Mom was not a woman you wanted to piss off.
"Clove is her age and gender; Citali is going to identity with her more than you. And she doesn't really have any friends of her own, so yeah of course she's going to enjoy playing with Clove. That doesn't mean that she's going to stop idolizing her big brother, Cato. Do you see what I'm trying to say?"
"I suppose so," I answer, not sure I believe her.
"Besides, look at Clove. Yeah, she has you when she's at school, but she isn't really close with anyone her age who likes the same stuff she does. And considering how neglectful her parents are, they're a good match for each other. But they still worship you."
"Don't let Clove hear you say that, mom," I snicker, "She'd flip shit."
"Language, Cato," she scorned. "I see the way she looks at you. Not in a romantic sort of way, but you're definitely someone she looks up to. It's like you have another sister."
"Oh god, one is more than enough," I contended.
"Just wait until tomorrow when you two leave, Cato, if you don't believe me about Citali."
I never doubted my mom again after that. The next morning, Citali cried so much that I was surprised we didn't all drown to death by the end of it. She attached herself so strongly to my leg that I started to lose feeling in the extremity. Eventually, I managed to pry her off with the help from my dad, but Clove and I had to race onto the train before she could latch on again.
I was 15 when it happened.
Clove and I stood proudly during the Reaping that summer, confident in the abilities of the two tributes that were going to volunteer for the Games.
Adara always drew out the process of picking out the names, pretending like it actually mattered whose name was read off the slip of paper.
"Karinda Moore!" she called, using her hand as a visor against the sun as she looked over the crowd for her first tribute.
The girl who was chosen was one of the fourteen year olds in the class below me. She stepped forward, head held high like she was proud to begin her journey to bring honor to the District. We all knew she wouldn't get the chance and waited patiently for our 18 year old classmate to volunteer. We tried to make the whole thing as dramatic as possible…pretty sure we were all shitty actors, but whatever.
"I volunteer!" someone calls from the front.
No, I think immediately, panic setting in. This had to be a nightmare. That voice did not belong to Deandra Rivera.
It belonged to my twelve year old sister.
Everyone gasped, shocked. No one ever volunteered that wasn't cleared by the Academy to do so. It was one of the District's strictest laws. Sure, they really couldn't do anything about it, once someone volunteered, no one could volunteer over them (as Karinda tried to do anyways). But you automatically lost all help and privileges that tributes from our District normally receive. You couldn't say goodbye to anyone before being shipped off to the Capitol. The Career tributes would target you the second the Games started. Your mentor refused to get you sponsors, no matter how talented you were.
We get another week off in the summer so we could all watch the Games and cheer our tributes on. Normally we make a huge celebration out of it in the Academy's courtyard, where the Peacemakers always set up a huge screen. I refused to attend that year, opting instead to watch it in my room, Clove joining me in silence.
I am unable to move from the screen, only sleeping when Citali sleeps. Our biological clocks seem to match, and I always wake up when she does. Clove says it's my brotherly instincts kicking in, but I think she shakes me awake most of the time.
I watch as she receives a score of 9, and I can't help but feel proud. She has a chance, I think, despite her small stature and the challenges she will soon face.
I watch her interview, as she cites me for being her reason to volunteer. She wants to make me proud, and she believes she can win, so don't count her out. I'm scared for her.
I watch us the other Career tributes refuse to form an alliance with her in the Arena because of her actions, though this is not unexpected. Still, I am angry, because how dare they refuse to give my baby sister their protection? If one of them survives, I vow to hunt them down.
I watch, petrified as the Game clock counts down to "0". I pray she is smart enough to run away from the Cornucopia. She is.
I watch as the large District 7 boy befriends her the next day, impressed by her long-range kill of a tribute with an axe. I am grateful for him and his kindness.
I watch as they plot together to take out the District 2 boy who betrayed his female tribute partner, and I am hopeful. Maybe she can win this now that she has an ally.
I watch, silently cheering as the District 7 boy spears the District 2 boy right through the heart during a nighttime ambush. Citali spits in his eyes as he dies, before running back to her hideout. I am proud.
I watch as the remaining Careers head towards her location, and I scream. I scream at her to run, to grab her partner and to get the fuck away from there before they find her. I scream for him to wake up, to sense that she's in danger, to run away from it all.
I watch as they stay, and I think I'm suffocating. I know what's going to happen. It's four brutal killers against two sleeping tributes. They're pissed they got out smarted, that their leader died at the hands of the two tributes in front of them. The two that everyone counted out from Day 1.
I watch as they tie her up and force her to watch the death of her partner. My eyes are locked on the screen as I beg for mercy. For her, my little sister. For them to spare her. Clove is silently crying next to me.
I watch as they kill him quickly, the swipe of a sword across the neck, and he's done. But I know she isn't going to be so lucky.
I watch, helpless as they torture her. They shame her for volunteering when it wasn't her turn. Mock her for wanting to be like her older brother. The whole time, laughing and cheering each other on. Clove is bawling. Her best friend is gone.
And when they're finally done, she isn't recognizable anymore. And I feel empty. Helpless, useless, worthless. What kind of big brother can't save his little sister? I want to die, but I know I need to avenge her death first. I will win the Games, I promise right then and there. I will slaughter the District 1 and 4 tributes when the time is right. Each death will be more cruel and vicious than the previous. I will send a message to the viewers at home. No one messes with my sister.
A:N: Okay, wow that was deep. Thank Friday the 13th for this chapter. I woke up this morning with no Internet to do my paper for school (the class text book I need is only online), so I wrote this instead...because I refused to leave my house. Yes, I am that superstitious!
I definitely planned to write a lot of these memories, I just didn't know when. They seemed to fit here, so there they are.
I promise the next chapter will be WAY lighter and have much more Katniss/Cato. I needed to get his past out there because I think it really effects how he acts in the future.
Side note: Does anyone have a tumblr? If so, follow me at .com and we can share lots of Hunger Games lolz with one another!
As always, read and review! Thank you for all the love so far, ya'll rock :)