Hello darlings, forgive me my tardiness. I'm well aware I'm a little late, and thanks for everyone who checked in on me to see if I was still alive/and to chid me for being late. I've been really busy and... I just discovered Penn and Teller existed (seriously, why this is not the best reality show contest thingy in existence is unreasonable! They never aired anything of them in my country :/) and I've pretty much just been binge watching, learning sleight of hand card tricks from youtube to dazzle my friend (so far… she's not that amused. Just glare at me accusingly whenever she can't spot me switching the cards out like I'm cheating. Pfffts. Critics you know?) and procrastinating reading to my end of the term exams.

I have some bad news, the next chapter won't be up before after my exams in December, as I honestly don't have time between studying, lectures, lab work, and family members visiting from America. I plan on rewriting most of chapter 8 to accommodate certain changes I did editing and adding in scenes in chapters as I posted them. Thank you for your understanding and patience.

Most of this chapter haven't been betaed, as 3.5K was added after I got it back. I'm also not very happy with this chapter. Special thanks to Addy01 and everyone who reviews and like my story. Seems like a struck a nerve with the cliché scene ending in the last chapter. Unoriginal, but who doesn't love them? :p

Warning for: mild mature content

Wordcount: 6.1K

Date published: 22. November 2016

We ran out of lyrics, this story wasn't' supposed to be longer than 6 chapters!

Please enjoy!

…

Chapter 7: Silence

Kuroba Kaito's stomach twisted in guilt as the door slammed shut behind the fleeing detective. He curled his left fist and smashed it against the wood. The tingle of pain shooting up his arm did nothing to subdue the agony in his heart. How could he have been such a fool? He should not have kissed Shinichi, every logic in any book ever written told him that falling in love with his straight, best friend was the most idiotic thing in the world. Not to mention that acting on it had been out of question.

He only let himself linger a few moments. The guilt twisted his stomach and a lump of bile rose at the back of his throat. He could still taste the detective on his tongue, his scent thick in his nose – Shinichi smelled like the dark, caramelised flavour typically associated with a good cup of coffee, an addictive and sweet scent Kaito could never get enough of – and his palms prickled with the phantom warmth teasing his fingertips. He clenched his jaw, willing to make it all go away.

Forcing himself away from the where he was rooted to the floor, lest he stared at the door for too long and succumbed to the impulse to chase after Shinichi. He stumbled across the apartment to press his face against the window to stare out in search for the detective, even as his heart beat painfully in his throat.

The window turned slightly obscured as his breath fogged the window white.

He did not need to wait long before Shinichi showed up in his view of sight as he exited the building. While he could not see the detective's expression, he could just imagine the revulsion and disgust that was sure to be on his face right now. Kaito's eyes prickled with unshed tears as his heart shattered into a thousand pieces. Halfway across the yard, Shinichi came to an abrupt stop – he had always had an uncanny ability of knowing when someone was observing him.

Shinichi turned his head an inch, and for a full moment, their eyes met before Shinichi shifted direction – choosing to leave campus rather than entering his own apartment building. Kaito could do nothing but watch as the detective disappeared from view with a sinking feeling that he had screwed up everything.

He remembered the first time he had spotted the detective through the window. His heart had leapt with alarm at the thought the police had started to close in on him. The second thought that had entered his mind was utter relief. The last time he had seen Shinichi, he had still been Edogawa Conan. It had only been by pure luck he found out that the detective had been hospitalized while Kaito had been scouring for Nakamori Ginzo, who had been admitted for medical care for a fractured leg.

Kaito remembered with vivid memory of the small body wrapped up in bandages and tubes, and Conan's heart had only given out a pitiful peep on the EEG machine above his head.

The moonlight magician had rotated between peering down at the detective in worry, and making sure Nakamori Ginzo did not try to sneak out on a broken leg. Honestly, for an old man, the inspector should have known better than risking his life on an ice-skating ring. Kaito had only gone home for half a day after the discovery, and by the time he returned to the hospital room, there had been no trace that Conan had ever been there. Instead there was an elderly man snoozing on the bed where the boy had previously lain.

There existed no paper trail that indicated the detective had ever been admitted, and any further investigation proved useless as any inquiries had been answered with a vague 'Conan-kun went back to America'. When Kudou Shinichi never made a public appearance a few months after, Kaito had imagined the worst – that his adversary had met his timely demise.

When the weeks passed after the detective first moved into the apartment and Shinichi made no attempt of approaching him – nor seemed to even realize the existence of Kuroba Kaito, he had started to feel at ease, that there was not an elaborate plan to catch him and that his appearance in the neighbourhood was just a cosmic joke from the universe.

Aoko had caught him staring at his new neighbour a few times, and had come to the wrong conclusion that Kaito had been spying on the– very attractive – detective. Which, in this case was true, but not for the reason his childhood friend had believed it to be.

He had been mortified when their first meeting had been him flooring the detective with a snowball – and curse Aoko's slippery tongue when she had accidentally started to blurt out that Shinichi was the hot neighbour next door Kaito had been sort of ogling.

He could only be thankful she had not had the chance to finish that sentence.

As they started to hang out, Kaito was pleasantly surprised to find out how much he genuinely liked the detective as a person. Shinichi had a sarcastic charm and a quick-witted tongue that endeared him to the magician – it had been one of the reason he enjoyed the cat and mouse game they had engaged in when they were Edogawa Conan and Kaitou KID.

Kaito was still on his toes now, though for completely different reason, and he was not one who would back down from a challenge.

Despite their casual acquaintance and only meeting by chance or through friends – Kaito enjoyed every opportunity to observe the detective closer immensely. He had been rather awestruck how Shinichi had calmly and methodically captured the two pickpocketing thieves on the train. Every movement was executed carefully to accommodate his disability and used it to his advantage. Kaito's respect for the detective had risen for being able to move passed – whatever had caused the terrible damage in the first place – instead of wallowing in self-piety as he knew many were prone to do.

Perhaps that was what had spurred him to reveal his talents as a magician – although he had originally been careful about that topic lest Shinichi discovered Kaito's night-time persona. The idea behind the card trick had been simple: A stage is much like a warzone. You must read other's minds as if they were textbooks. The essence of the heart is the most prominent ingredient of success.

Or as Robert Houdini said: "Tricks dependent on thought foretold or divined are unquestionably the most striking in the whole range of conjuring. In truth, how is it possible to explain (unless indeed you know the secret) how anyone can know what you have chosen to think of, or even sometimes what you are going to think of presently?"

He had taken a large chance with the trick, relied on his observations of the detective. He made sure that Shinichi picked the Spade of Four – traditionally, the ace of spade was considered the death card, and the Chinese word for the number four could also be pronounced as death.

He doubted Shinichi was consciously aware of the connection – it was a rather morbid choice, and Kaito had been pleasantly surprised that his gamble had worked at all. The delighted surprise on the detective's face had been worth it when he could not deduce the technique behind the seemingly improbable trick.

Edogawa Conan – or rather Kudou Shinichi – the detective that had pursued him relentlessly like a bloodthirsty shark in the past was far different than what Kaito had imagined. He had somehow expected that all brilliant child-geniuses turned detectives, shared traits with Hakuba Saguru with their dry and boring personality and the need to chase the truth and justice by any cost necessary in order to hinder the ever-present boredom (or so Kaito would like to believe).

Shinichi was nothing as he had expected – he was just as human as Kaito, with his vulnerabilities and passions that bled into different aspects of his life. The magician was not sure why he mentioned Kaitou KID at the party after Sera and Ran hooked up, however there had been a fragile expression on the detective's features despite the danger of the topic. Perhaps Kaito had only wanted to convey his understanding. Everyone, behind their chosen masks and professions, were human with their own drives and motives – and vulnerabilities.

It had only been pure luck that Kaito had even spotted the detective in late December. He had a bout of insomnia after his return from France and was ailing from jet lag. He had been sitting down, assembling a small model of an aircraft to keep his fingers busy as he waited for drowsiness to overcome him. What had drawn his eyes to Shinichi's apartment that night– and he loathed to admit it at the time – was the view of a half-naked Shinichi fumbling about in his own apartment. There was a certain peacefulness and companionship knowing someone else was awake at such an early hour of the day.

The feeling of tranquillity was shattered shortly after, when the detective fell over after clutching his chest in pain. Kaito's heart had leapt out of his chair in horror at the foreboding feeling that something was terribly wrong settling in his guts. Barely taking the time to step into his sandals, he came down the stairs in three strides. He had barely felt the cold winter night, and the snow had soaked his socks and the ends of his pyjamas thoroughly by the time he picked the lock into Shinichi's apartment.

Kaito had almost frozen in utter terror at the sight of Shinichi laying in a pool of red vomit, eyes white and gasping for air. He did not remember calling the ambulance. All he knew was that the next few moments went oxymoronically too fast and too slow at the same as he had kneeled in the pool of bile and lifted Shinichi's head onto his lap to rake his fingers through his hair and face, and to make sure he did not choke on his own vomit. All the while mumbling with fear as he pleaded Shinichi to keep breathing for him just a little while longer.

By the time the paramedics arrived, Kaito's mind felt numb from the terror from watching Shinichi slowly fading away in his lap. He had never been so afraid nor felt so useless in his entire life – confronting criminals and guns straight on meant his quick thinking and reflexes could get him out of the dangerous predicament. And if he failed, it was due to his own recklessness. This on the other hand? He was powerless to save the detective.

He was originally declined from catching a ride to the hospital by the paramedic, however he managed to convince the paramedics that he was Shinichi's brother – thank Lady Luck that they shared certain similar facial features for the medic to not question it.

He had held Shinichi's clammy and cold hand all the way, his stomach churning at how rubbery it felt; how white Shinichi had looked underneath the artificial light in the ambulance. His thought had been a disarray of confusion of why the detective had swallowed the poison – it had been the only logical conclusion at the time – and he had seen the pills scattered across the kitchen bench. He knew Shinichi loved Ran. He could tell in the way Shinichi gazed at her when he thought no one was looking.

Kaito had also noticed how the detective kept everyone at a certain distance, his demeanour and cynical sarcasm had the effect of pushing people away. But not Kaito, he enjoyed the challenge, but now he wondered if he had not tried hard enough – had wondered if Shinichi had felt so alone, so lost and so out of place in his own grown body. He had spent two years as a child, and built a real life there – and what had he come back to? Not Ran – the woman he had considered the love of his life, that was for certain.

Kaito swallowed thickly. He had once been in the same boat, feeling out of place in his role as Kuroba Kaito as he tried to keep his family and friends away from the scrutinizing gaze of Snake and the organization. But he had survived against the peril and managed to put his mantle – somewhat – away. He wondered that perhaps he and Shinichi had subconsciously been drawn to each other, from the shared experience of the pain and loneliness of hiding a different identity from the world.

He had vowed there and then, if Shinichi had felt lost and lonely before, Kaito would do whatever it took to make damn sure Shinchi never experienced those depressed feelings again. Perhaps two broken halves could fix each other? Shinichi's fingers had suddenly twitched around his at that point, and it had been the only response Kaito had needed as relief flooded his system and made his heart flutter.

Kaito had stood vigil by the hospital door for nearly three days, only going home whenever Ran took over the shift. Both silently agreeing that Shinichi needed to see a friendly face upon waking up – and although Kaito had only been publicly acquainted with the detective for mere two months, Ran did not question his steady presence by Shinichi's bedside even once. They spoke with hushed tones, and it was clear the kind and affectionate woman was in distress: blaming herself for not being more attentive.

The magician's heart bled watching her – he knew Shinichi had never meant to hurt her, regardless of the shadows and demons that had haunted and persuaded him to perform such an action in the first place. Kaito had tried to comfort Ran, but he did not know how, and every word leaving his lips sounded hollower and emptier for every hour that passed without Shinichi returning to consciousness.

When the news that Shinichi had woken up, Kaito had been so relieved. Ran had told him with a smile on her lips through the tears falling from her tired eyes, and Hattori had sent her home – he had arrived a few hours previously, and taken up vigil by Shinichi's bed as the detective slept.

The next time Kaito visited and he saw Shinichi sitting on the bed, his heart had hammered in his throat in surprise and – surprisingly – guilt had suddenly started to gnaw in the pit of his stomach. If he had not been awake that night, then the detective would have died – would he be furious at Kaito for saving his life? Kaito firmly believed everyone had a right to live, and death of a person was a terrible thing – even if the person themselves instigated the cause.

Kaito decided there and then, he could live with Shinichi hating him for the rest of his life if it meant the detective would still be alive.

Of course, when the deduction, the mistaken assumption of suicide, had proven to be wrong – that someone had tried to murder the detective, it had sent everyone in a mad dash of guilt trying to apologize, but Shinichi had refused to speak to anyone, even Ran. No one would blame him, and for two weeks, Ran's eyes were puffy and red from guilt and utter misery at the costly assumption. How had they, who considered themselves Shinichi's friends, screwed up so badly? It was unthinkable.

And Shinichi, with his trust issues, had been let down by every single one of them.

Kaito had barely slept for over two weeks – feeling like such an arsehole for jumping to assumptions like that. Shinichi was in more than his right to refuse to see Kaito, and the magician had done everything in his power to keep to his silently vowed promises to not cause the detective any more grief – even if it meant staying away, regardless of the fact it was breaking his heart.

Even Aoko had looked tired even though she had not been as closely acquainted with the detective. Despite his originally pledges, when the despair had finally reached its limit– he just wanted to beg to be allowed to apologize, and to verify with his own eyes that Shinichi was in fact safe and alive – he did the only thing he could think of other than breaking in to the apartment – an idea which was foolish on hindsight, considering there were two detectives occupying the studio apartment then.

Finally mustering up the courage, and armed with takeouts – he had spied enough on the ins and outcomings of Shinichi's friends to know Hattori had a weak-spot for food – Kaito knocked on the door with dread gnawing in his stomach. For all the daredeviling courage he had possessed as the elusive phantom thief Kaitou KID, it had deserted him in this instance, and he was half minded to turn around and walk away.

The door opened, and he was greeted to the sight of a wary Hattori Heiji, who hesitantly glanced at him, and back in the direction of the room Shinichi was occupying, before raising his eyebrow in question.

"Kuroba, I don't think this is a good time –"

"I just want to chat," he had pleaded with the Osakan detective. "If he wants me to leave, I'll never bother him again. Please."

Hattori had reluctantly allowed him entry at the sincerity in the magician's face and voice, and though Kaito could hear the Osakan walk to the kitchen, he was sure the detective would be listening through the door at the conversation to make sure Kaito honoured their agreement.

To say he had been surprised when Shinichi had accepted his apology was no exaggeration. He had been expected to be shoved out the door, and so after that day, Kaito did everything in his power to show that Shinichi had chosen correctly to allow the magician the chance to earn back his trust. Showing up at his doorstep with a movie and food two weeks later had been the second most courageous thing the magician had done – and once again Shinichi had let him into the apartment so Kaito could honour his promise.

Slowly, but surely, they grew closer – closer than before, and he could tell that despite the cool exterior, the detective was content with their growing friendship with the way his eyes lit up whenever they met.

Kaito had not noticed when it had happened, but at one point his feelings towards Shinichi had morphed into one of attraction. The realization had come suddenly while they were eating Thai food in the detective's apartment. He had said something which made Shinichi snort with amusement as laughter shimmered in his eyes, and suddenly, Kaito's heart had fluttered with the yearning to lean in and brush his lips against the detective's.

He had been thoroughly confused at the stray thought, but as he kept glancing at Shinichi at the corner of his eyes – observed the way the artificial lights overhead danced over his soft features in a dazzling and breath-taking sight, he had come to the conclusion that he really would not have minded following through on that desire.

He had thought it was only a passing fancy at the time, and that the feelings would disappear shortly as it was prone to do. Physical attraction from an aesthetic point of view was not unheard of – but he should have realized it was not the case. Especially since the yearning did not appear before months after being acquainted. He was attracted to Shinichi's dry and sarcastic personality, how he always came with a quick response to any gibe, how he saw through any deceit and lie and never tolerated inanities. Shinichi was calm and collective, but burned with a passion with his need to protect and to seek the truth.

The feelings did not disappear, rather they grew as the weeks passed.

Kaito had tried to ignore the growing affection every time his heart fluttered on its own accord as he spotted the detective moving around in his apartment, or when Shinichi waved at him when they met in the courtyard or how his eyes lit up when their gazes met. The quirking of his lips when he tried to suppress how impressed he was whenever Kaito pulled an unpredictable trick on him, or tried to not laugh when it failed disastrously and blew up in the magician's face.

Faster than the magician had anticipated, his whole world circled around his old adversary – and his heart would always beat that extra step whenever their shoulders brushed sitting next each other on the couch, or whenever Shinichi would unexpectant show up on his doorstep with a flush on his cheek from the chill air, and adorning a smile.

Kaito still clung to the desperate hope, that the feeling only came from the fact that it had been a long while since he let anyone this close in to his personal life. The only other he had as close friends were Aoko – who knew nothing of his secret identity, and Jii-chan – who was entirely too old to be a confidant in the life of ordinary, young adults. His relations with Hakuba had been slightly mended due to the fact he and Aoko was dating – although, at times they did still argue about different philosophical viewpoints. Having someone else he could trust – although not with his secret of being Kaitou KID – was refreshing.

A few times they had been out together, Shinichi had stumbled over a crime scene. The entire thing had turned Kaito's stomach upside down with bile threatening to rise in his throat, however he'd had a chance to observe the detective's attentiveness to every detail and how swiftly and accurately he had been able to deduce the method of assassination and the culprit and the reason behind the murder. Shinichi was, without a doubt, an extraordinary individual, and Kaito could almost not believe how he had not been caught by the detective during a heist in the past.

Kaito had not realized how screwed he was until the evening they had all gone out to dance that night at the club. With Shinichi pressing against his side, and the scent of the detective – of dark caramel and coffee beans – washing over him, he had felt utterly comforted and happy as he gazed into the angelic features of his best friend. And even as he blurted out an I love you, he knew the words were the truth. He had never known a person like Shinichi, who did not bat an eye when Kaito announced that he was gay. Who was only annoyed at himself for not figuring it out sooner. Just the memory sent his heart fluttering with warmth. Of being accepted for who he was.

How could anyone not love Shinichi?

…

"Are you in love with Kudou-kun?"

Aoko had asked about a week and a half after the club. Kaito had barely managed to not spill the cup of tea he had been fiddling with all over the kitchen table. With a hammering heart, he peered at Aoko through his eyelashes with dread gnawing in the bottom of his stomach at the accusation. His childhood friend looked the picture of serenity as she leaned backwards with arms crossed. The sunlight filtering in through the nearby window glowing up the tip of her hair that resembled a halo made of radiant sunbeams.

"Don't be daft. Of course I'm not," he took his time to respond, not too fast and not too slow. Too rushed would be an indication he was lying, and taking his time to reply would suggest he had needed an extra second to come up with a suitable lie. Aoko had gotten entirely too sharp since she joined the police academy, and he could not decide whether he was proud or vaguely aggravated over that fact.

She did not miss a beat, and she only narrowed her eyes to watch him with a scrutinizing gaze. "I can tell you are lying."

He lifted an eyebrow at her statement, and she lowered her gaze with a pout.

"Alright, I can't tell you are lying. But I know you are," her features softened and she regarded him anew. "A woman intuition if you like."

"You? A woman?" He started to snort, "Don't make me laugh –" he ducked an oncoming projectile in the form of a ball of paper, and flashed Aoko a grin. She did not look amused as a flush adorned her cheek and pursed lips.

"I'm serious. Try to be so also for just one moment, please?"

Kaito suppressed the urge to reply with a juvenile response – it was a common defence mechanism when talking to her. As though they were kids again. Instead, his eyes flickered up to stare at a spot above their heads, and he only gave a court nod. "I'm not though –"

"Kaito –"

The beginning of a scowl started to creep across his features, and a headache started to throb between his brows. With a sighed, he lowered his shoulders which had been rigid since Aoko popped the question. "I'm trying to get over it. Alright? It's just a passing fancy. Shinichi is a reasonable attractive and witty guy –" he trailed off, trying not to add beautiful, and brilliant, eyes more gorgeous than any gem he had spirited away, hair as soft as the most expensive silk money could buy, a smile that lit up Kaito's day brighter than what a thousand suns could, a jawline smoother than what Michelangelo's could ever possibly hope to reproduce –

Aoko must have read something in his face, as she reached out a moment later to grab his hand with a sympathetic expression. However, there was a certain tilt to her lips that told him she was perversely gleeful to see him crushing on someone for a change. "That bad, huh? I bet you are thinking poetic thoughts about how perfect Kudou-kun is –"

"I hate you," he groused out without any real passion, and he trailed his free hand through his hair with a defeated groan. His heart fluttered in his chest, unsure whether he wanted to keep holding this conversation or bolt through the half open window.

"No you don't," she did not try to hide her smile this time. It only lasted for a few moments, before her expression turned soft again. "I had an inkling. It's been all Shinichi this and Shinichi that with you lately. I've never seen you like this –" Aoko stopped herself to bit her lip with an uncertain quiver of her nose in a way that indicated that she was deciding to voice her thoughts or not.

For being the daughter of an inspector, Aoko was as transparent as glass. Or maybe that was just Kaito knowing her so well.

"Why don't you ask him out?"

He lowered his eyes: finding a very interesting breadcrumb shaped like a mixture of a dog and a giraffe laying just by his toes. His throat constricted at his childhood friend's suggestion. "I can't," he barely managed to croak out a moment later.

Aoko shifted in her seat, and her fingers convulsed around the hand she was still holding. "Why not?" she licked his lips."

Kaito suddenly felt flushed underneath her scrutinizing gaze. His eyes darted to the side, silently calculating the distance and speed needed to reach the front door. He had not accepted her invitation just to be interrogated about his none-existent love-life. "Because Shinichi – Kudou is not, you know " he stuttered, all eloquent speech jumped out the window. He withdrew his hand and palmed the cup of tea in front of him. The heat bit into his fingertips.

"Oh," she mumbled with a softness. There was a certain flicker of sadness and guilt shimmering in her eyes for a moment before she lowered her gaze. "Are you sure?"

Kaito could only nod in response this time, not trusting his voice, and the bottom of his stomach sank to the floor. He was very sure about that fact, regardless of never discussing their love-life much. He knew Shinichi still had lingering romantic feelings for Ran, and then there was the case of the hundred or so pictures of potential date-partners Yukiko had hung in the detective's apartment – they had all been of attractive women – he had been sure he had spotted Shinichi's eyes trail over one of the few images containing the more revealing positions.

The third indication had been the day in the club. The detective had not looked remotely interested in the attractive, young, man approaching him then, rather his eyes had slid off the male immediately in indifference to the alluring picture he made. Kaito's heart had palpitated in his chest at the view – and to say he was relieved when the man stalked away would be no embellishment, regardless of not having any claim over the detective.

"Let's switch topic," Aoko murmured into her cup as she took a sip of it. Regret of voicing her deductions – about Kaito's feelings for Shinichi – read clearly in her futures, and he could not find it in himself to blame her for worrying about him. "I'm pregnant."

He spilt the tea across the table this time, and the warm liquid dripped down his leg as he let out a choked sound from the sudden revelation.

…

In the end, Kaito decided he would never tell Shinichi of his growing affection for him for fear of being pushed away, of ruining the one relationship that meant the most to him in the whole world. The detective had enough trouble to deal with as it was, without adding to the burden of having to double think every interaction they had in fear of threading wrongly and hurt Kaito's feeling by not reciprocating.

Being in love with Shinichi was not an emotion that consumed his day, it was more like a comforting whisper in the back of his mind. Sometimes the detective would say something that made Kaito's heart flutter with fondness, and other times he yearned with the impulse to trail his fingers across his jaw, but he learned to live with it. However, most of the time it did not change anything in how they interacted with each other. Being Shinichi's friend was more than he required from the detective – and Shinichi seemed to not want anything from Kaito in return for their friendship.

When he had gotten a distressed call from Ran telling him Shinichi had suddenly missed an appointment and not answering his cell phone – he always answered a call from Ran regardless of being busy in case of an emergency – his stomach had plummeted to the floor in dread. He had not thought twice before dropping everything he had been doing to help in the search – the images of finding Shinichi dying on the kitchen floor, and him lying on the hospital bed, flashing in his mind in alarm. He did not how what he would do if he lost the detective – Kaito had made his silent vow to protect him.

He was not sure how they had known Shinichi was just out of Yokohama – although, he suspected it had something to do with the tiny scientist he was sure was no ordinary child. His heart had palpitated in panic on the hour and a half journey – he had borrowed Jii-chan's car – breaking every speed limit. He had barely gotten there in time to see a man pointing his gun at Shinichi.

Kaito had not given it a second thought as he stepped in – given rat arse about revealing his night-time persona as the elusive phantom thief to Shinichi. He would gladly go to prison if it meant that the detective was safe and sound. He'd had almost a heart attack there and then, learning that Shinichi had purposely played bait in order to catch a serial killer. Just thinking about it sent his heart pounding in panic at the thought that something could have gone wrong – if he had not been there, the police could have arrived at the scene too late to save him.

Shinichi was a crazy individual, and Kaito swore the detective would be the death of him one day with his talents of getting into dangerous situations – not to mention the fact he actively pursued them.

And then, despite the reveal that Kaito was an international and wanted criminal, Shinichi had not reported him. Instead he had taken in the revelation with a calm breeze. Listen to Kaito's story with that attentive and tender expression and had not judged him even once for his choices – despite the magician expecting a chewing out for the kidnapping attempt. To top it off, if it was even possible, Kaito could have sworn he fell just a little more in love at the peaceful expression on the detective's features that night at the carnival. He had been accepted, flaws and all, for the second time by Shinichi.

Ten months they had known each other, and loving Shinichi had become the most natural feeling in the world. Underneath the strong exterior, was a softness and vulnerability that he had slowly opened up to the magician, and as a gratitude for being trusted, Kaito vowed to protect and cherish him.

For the first time in his life, Kaito felt free knowing someone did not judge him – felt at peace being allowed to openly discuss the troubles of his past. He no longer needed to hold the fact he was aware of some of what happened to Shinichi as Edogawa Conan – he had been curious about that story, but never dared to ask, even under the persona as Kaitou KID. The detective looked just as relieved that the last barrier between them had shattered and that they could be fully truthful with each other.

But now? With that kiss? Horror raked through him and his fingers shook against the window as he strained his eyes to see the disappearing silhouette of his friend. What had he done? He had ruined everything, all for his own selfish desires. If Shinichi never wanted to see him again after today, he understood it perfectly. It would break his heart, but he would not press his luck this time. This was different, this time he knew Shinichi better then he knew himself.

He had broken a trust he could never hope to win back. For that few stolen moments, he had been in heaven, touched and enveloped in the burning fire that was Shinichi. Everything he had yearned for for the past few months. A shiver raked down his spine at the memory of pushing the detective against the wall. Of pressing butterfly kisses across his skin, and hearing him groan and buck underneath him as he dipped his fingers underneath Shinichi's shirt to caress the soft and warmth skin- and rocked their groins together to create sparking friction that set every nerve in his body on fire from the pleasure. Of licking into his mouth in a battle of dominance as he had ached to do for so long – fantasy had nothing against reality. The memory sent his heart hammering with renew desire.

And then he had fallen down, further than ever before as though his wings had been clipped. He had been cast back into the darkness – one which felt grimmer and lonelier than before. The brightness that was Shinichi in his life had been snuffed out, and was now entirely too far away for him to ever hope to reach again.

Kaito's stomach dropped with ice-cold fear. He should have expected it – known how stupid he was being. He should have backed way, made a joke – anything else but that. However, his body and mind had not cooperated. All logic cast away as he stole the kiss he had been craving in the deep corners of his mind.

Lost, he sat by the window for a long time waiting for the better part his heart to come back, just so he could know that the detective was safe and sound. It felt as though all Kaito ever did, was to wait.

And so he waited…

…. And waited, but still there was no sign of Shinichi even long after the sun had risen and Kaito's eyelids inevitable slid close with the sinking feeling that things had changed irrevocably between them – and he dreaded the subsequent outcome of his impulsive and foolish actions.