"Define 'proper' kiss," Katniss inquires after a moment of silence.
I pause, knowing that this is an important question. Did I want a cheek kiss? A peck on the lips? Some tongue action? I didn't want to push too far, especially with an audience of brats and soon to be murder victims. I decide not to play it completely safe, though.
"A peck on the lips," I say boldly, silently praying that she accepts. God, how fucking embarrassing would it be if she didn't? I'm pretty sure I'd lose every ally in the Games and be forced to forge on alone. Even Clove wouldn't be able to stand the shame of being my partner in the Games. Ugh, that couldn't happen to me, despite my confidence in my ability to beat anyone and everyone. I didn't need the added stress of having to fight off an alliance of Career tributes that I wasn't allowed to be in. Fucking awkward.
Fortunately, my worries are for naught.
"Fine, I accept," she declares, ignoring Bread Douche's bitching that she doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to do.
"Really?" I ask, surprised. I mean, it's definitely an honor to kiss me (especially since it'll be my first kiss, but she doesn't need to know that), but I really thought she would decline.
Cato 1, Bread Boy 0.
Ha, I'm a fucking champ even before the Games start. Score!
"Yes, now let's get this over with," she sighs, beckoning me forward.
For the most part, the other tributes are silent, but I can hear the small squeals of the girls, most prominently, Leyla.
"Oh my gosh, Clove, how cute is this!" Leyla whispers to Clove, who I can only imagine gives a short nod in return.
"Shh, be quiet before you ruin the moment," Clove demands, which immediately causes Leyla to stop talking.
"I didn't expect a love story when I got Reaped," Rue remarks even quieter, which I'll honestly say I have to agree with. This was not part of the Training we received at the Academy, though I assume our mentors never thought any of us would be weak enough to fall for one of the other tributes. Oh well, I make my own rules, always have and always will.
"I hope he ate one of those free mints they gave us after lunch," Clove snickers, and I start to panic. What if my breath smelled bad? What if Katniss was mortified by this kiss and never talked to me again? What if she made fun of me behind my back, and her and Bread Douche had a good laugh afterwards, in between making out with their minty smelling breaths. This was so not one of my best impulsive ideas.
I don't have time to try to delay the new rule change, because Katniss, who looks somewhat agitated by my lack of movement, strides forward and places her hands on the sides of my face. Before I can even blink, she moves her face closer to mine, and I can feel her breath tingling against my lips. Not minty, so that was good. At least I wasn't the only one who missed the mints after lunch. I suck in a quick breath and then suddenly feel her soft lips on my harder, chapped ones. The kiss is short, probably no more than five seconds, but to me, it feels like heaven. Her lips are warm and plump, but thankfully not oozing with lip-gloss and whatever other nasty stuff girls were always loading their lips with. I can only describe it as natural, pure…fucking perfect.
"Can we get a round of applause for Cato's first kiss, please?" Clove fearlessly cheers, and the rest of the Training center reluctantly claps. Most of the girls, including the Avox and stationmasters, enthusiastically applaud, some hooting and hollering (though I think this was mostly Clove, Leyla, and one of the younger stationmasters). The guys just look awkward and uncomfortable, clearly unsure of what was expected of them. I shudder when I notice how murderous Glimmer looks. She'd probably slit Katniss's throat in the middle of the night if she could get away with it. Glimmer was definitely on top of my People-to-Take-Down-Immediately List, tied at this point with Bread Boy.
Mortified at Clove's comment, I feel my face start to heat up and I refuse to make eye contact with Katniss who's snickering, too. Fuck my life.
I wonder if this was her first kiss…
"Katniss, how could you?" Peeta murmurs, looking distraught. Ha, good. Stupid tool should know his place by now. It was clear I am superior, despite his best efforts at trying to show me up.
Bread Douche moves to stand somewhat closer to me now so he can look her in the eyes. He leans closer, and I hear him whisper, "This isn't part of the plan," before turning to leave the room, a look of devastation clearly etched onto his face, despite his efforts to remain impassive.
I laugh loudly, partially out of sheer awkwardness, but mostly out of relief that the whole situation went better than I could have ever imagined. Clove, she would be dealt with, but overall, the kiss was amazing. I can't wait for more.
Katniss suddenly whips her head around, her braid flying behind her, and focuses her harsh glare on me…the glare I haven't seen since our first talk on the roof after I beat her boy-toy up. Stunned, I back up a little knowing that I don't want to face her wrath. Clove and the other girls watch in anticipation, clearly as confused as I was.
I seem to be spending a lot of time confused lately. Definitely a weird feeling since I came into the Games knowing what needed to be done to survive and win. Now…not so sure what the fuck my life is coming to.
"You planned this, didn't you?" she scowls, her voice low and laced with malice. "You knew Peeta would watch and would be upset by the kiss. You knew he would eventually storm off, thus not only hurting him personally, but damaging my alliance with him as well."
"Wait…what?" I stammer out, completely lost for words. I just wanted to kiss the girl of my dreams, I didn't know there was something wrong with that. No other ramifications for my actions were ever thought of in the five minute span this all occurred during. It was definitely a bonus to piss Bread Boy off, though.
"You're disgusting, Cato. I thought you were different." Before I can get a word in, Katniss storms off, presumably to chase her crybaby partner and make amends.
"What the fuck just happened?" I ask, turning towards my girls.
Leyla shrugs confused as well, Clove frowns, and Rue sighs.
"I think she's just bewildered at the whole situation and needs time. On one side, she likes hanging out with you, but on the other, she knows she needs to win the Games to get back to her sister…which means you die and so does everyone else," Rue infers wisely, jumping back when I loudly interject that we don't have time for her to be confused.
"Calm down, Cato-"
"I AM CALM, DAMNIT!" I roar at Clove, suddenly overcome with anger. Why was this fucking baker kid always messing everything up? First, he tries to steal my Girl-Entourage, and now he's going for my actual girl. They are my friends and my future girlfriend, and he needs to take his fat doughy hands and back the fuck off.
Not even bothering to wait for their response, I storm out of the room and head towards the staircase by the side of the elevator. As I get closer to the doors, I shove the District 5 tribute down because he keeps staring at me with his mouth open like a fish. Fucking freak needed to mind his own business.
Taking the steps two at a time, I soon find myself in the District 2 apartment at a loss for what to do. Without warning, images of Katniss confronting Bread Douche swarm in my brain, forming a story I was not ready to handle.
She was probably sitting on the roof with him right now, awkwardly patting him on the knee and assuring him that he was still the man of her dreams. He was most likely shedding a few tears for the added pity, and she was telling him he was perfect, and they could win together and go home to District 12, richer than they could ever have imagined. All their problems would be solved. Hoo-fucking-ray for District 12. He was going to nod his head in agreement, totally wrapped up in her speech, and before he knows it, she's sitting on his lap, pressing her soft, warm lips into his nasty, bready ones. He's stealing the kisses that belong only to be. Flecks of red dot my vision, and I feel what little control I have beginning to slip.
The brown vase on the table next to me taunts me with its color; the exact same color as Katniss's long, flowing braid. In a blink of an eye, the vase bursts into pieces, clearly not prepared to connect fiercely against the wall across the room. The sensation is contagious, the relief of getting my anger out, and I search for more things to demolish.
Glass coasters become flying discs as they zoom towards the high speed ceiling fan, easily breaking into an array of pieces that subsequently spread across the apartment. Ignoring the shards that flitter against my skin, I keep tossing a few more until I get bored. There's not enough destruction in the little coasters to satisfy my hunger.
Making my way to the dining room, I delight in the crackle of glass underneath my boots. In the dining room, I find perfectly sculpted ceramic plates that make for even better "ceiling fan grenades" as I start to refer to them in my head as. Unfortunately, the fan stops spinning, hanging precariously from the ceiling by several weak looking wires. Inspired by this turn of events, I look around the room for something to bring the fan crashing down onto the glass coffee table. I make my way into the kitchen, which is surprisingly empty, though it looks like it is recently abandoned. A pot on the stove is overflowing, and I smell something burning in the oven. Not giving a fuck that the whole place may set on fire at any second due to the neglected meal, I raid one of the drawers to find a variety of knives. Concluding they're perfect to practice my aim with, I leave the kitchen and find a suitable spot in the dining room to challenge my skills.
Taking a deep breath to regain my focus, I grasp the knife in my right hand and settle myself into position to throw them. Some of the knives spin, others fly straight like darts, but each knife hits its mark, and I rejoice is the crash of the fan onto the coffee table. The crash is glass on glass, a brilliant sound of wholesome destruction. It's beautiful.
My bliss is broken by the sound of the elevator dinging, and an array of voices pilfers the calm of the room.
"OH MY GOD," a voice shrieks, and I recognize it as Adara. None of them can see me from my spot in the dining room, but I don't even bother to flee. I'm certain they already know what happened. My temper isn't something that was a secret, especially at the Academy.
"Please tell me the Capitol is just testing their hurricanes in our apartment before they apply it to the Arena…there's no way Cato could have destroyed so much in such a short period of time…right?" Leyla questions, clearly scared. Poor girl probably had no idea the short fuse she was dealing with on a consistent basis.
"Cato, come out from your hiding spot, you foolish child," a different, rougher voice commands, and I tense slightly. I was hoping she didn't come with the others, but I'm sure the Avox working in the kitchen alerted my mentor instantly when they overheard my destruction.
Knowing I couldn't hide in the dining room undetected forever, I sigh and make my way towards the group. They're still standing by the elevator, unsure of where it was safe to stand without getting glass in their shoes. They were also at a safe distance from me; the ever-ticking bomb they weren't sure had fully exploded. Could I be saving more of my rage for them? I knew my anger had nothing to do with them, but they still doubted my control.
"Yes?" I question rudely, directing my attention towards Enobaria. I begin to feel embarrassed by my actions when I see how upset Leyla is. The ginger Avox, whose name I still haven't learned, stands behind the group, emotionless. Clove has her mask of indifference on, the one she normally wears at the Academy when we are around other people she didn't like. I had a feeling, at the current moment that I was the one she didn't like.
"Explain yourself, boy."
I remain silent, knowing I didn't owe her anything. Sure, she could just refuse to make deals with sponsors, but I know she won't. She may favor Clove, but mentoring a winner makes her look almost as good as the Victor themselves. Enobaria has too much pride to kill me off.
"Explain yourself, now, or I'll force you both to clean this mess up," she growls, the gold tips of her fangs glinting in the sunlight from the open window. I regret that I didn't shatter the window when I had the chance. Maybe the glass would impale one of the Capitol freaks on the ground below. I smirk at the image.
"He kissed his girlfriend, and she didn't like it," Clove sneers, interrupting my thoughts. I wince, knowing this was not an issue I desired discussing with Enobaria. She had even less sensitivity than I did.
"Is this true, Cato?" she purrs dangerously.
"I hope it's not that District 12 girl!" Adara scolds. "I know a romance with her would be great for publicity around the Capitol, the Monstrous Boy from 2 and his Fiery Flower from 12 and all, but I couldn't imagine the shame when you got home."
Clove laughs wickedly. "Imagine the shame, Cato," she spits before making her way to her bedroom. I should have destroyed everything in her room too. That would have shut her up. So many regrets today…
Enobaria tries to say something, but I cut her off before she can even begin.
"I don't give a damn how you think I should play these games," I snarl at both of them. "I will do what I want, when I want, and you all can fucking deal with it."
I turn on my heel and leave the room. Leyla follows behind me, though more tepid than she ordinarily would. I make a note to apologize to her when I calm down.
"Manners!" Adara screeches from behind me.
"YOU CAN GO FUCK YOUR MANNERS," I yell back, completely over everything. God and I still had a few more days of this bullshit before I'd be happily situated in the Arena.
"I'm going to take a nap," I state before Leyla can get a word in once the bedroom door closes. "I'm sorry you have to clean up the mess I made."
She snorts. "They want me to make sure you don't kill yourself or anyone else before the Games. Someone else will clean it up."
"Oh, well, that's good, I suppose," I answer awkwardly, unsure of how to act around her now. I didn't want to frighten her anymore than I evidently have.
"Yeah, I suppose..." She shifts uneasily in her chair, and I feel another pang of remorse. I was making a fucking disaster out of everything today.
"Stop," I suddenly growl, causing her to shrink back a little from her place on the chair. "Don't be weird around me. Look, I'm truly sorry I had a freak-out. I do it sometimes, Clove calls them rage tantrums. It's not something I'm proud of, but I want you to know that I'll never hurt you. Ever, no matter how mad I am, I will never lay a hand on you. Or throw something at you. I'm not -" I break off, unsure if I want to go there or not. I know I owe it to Leyla, though.
"I'm not like my father," I finish, unable to meet her eyes.
"Oh, Cato, darling. I know you won't hurt me. I trust you, believe me I do," she whispers. "I just wanted to give you some time to calm down. I know I can be a lot to handle, and I didn't want to set you off again."
"Okay, good, I just had to make sure," I answer, never really good with the whole apologizing thing. Totally not my style.
"Come here you big softie," she giggles as she opens her arms. Refusing to settle for a normal hug, I pick her up and give her a strong bear hug.
"Oh my god, Cato, my ribs. Have mercy!"
I laugh lightly but ease the grip I have around her.
"Nap time?" I yawn, exhausted from the long day.
"Yeah, we'll get some shut eye before dinner," she agrees.
I snuggle under the covers, pulling her closer to my chest. My last thought before falling asleep is that I wish it were Katniss cuddling against me.
"Wake up sleepy head," Leyla singsongs as she jumps around the bed, coming awfully close my face. I sit up instantly in fear that she may accidently jump on my face and crush my nose, leaving me ugly forever. What a nightmare that would be!
"I'm up, I'm up, you can stop now," I moan, trying to shake myself awake. Having a thirteen year old jumping around your bed was not an ideal wakeup call.
"Why is Clove mad at me?" I ask, remembering the events of the day. She normally just laughs at my rage tantrums, calling me names and egging me on before helping me calm down. Clove was definitely acting weird lately.
"She's not really mad …more annoyed that Peeta was so upset that you and Katniss kissed," Leyla reveals, sitting cross-legged on my bed. "Don't tell her I told you, though, she'd murder me."
"Wait a minute…she has a crush on Bread Douche?" I question, wondering how in the fuck that could happen. As far as I knew, she hadn't really crushed on anyone at the Academy. Maybe me, for a bit in the beginning, but at this point, I was positive her actions were all just Semi-Sibling Protectiveness. "I don't get why everyone is acting like this kid is the greatest gift to mankind. It's like he shits rainbows and everyone wants a piece."
"Ew, Cato, you think some seriously gross things," Leyla whines, pretending to vomit.
"You should hear the ways I think of killing him. Then you'd be really creeped out," I laugh, only semi-jokingly. She didn't need to know that, though. Some thoughts are meant to be kept a secret.
"You know…she'll never forgive you if you kill him," Leyla begins, suddenly serious. "I don't think she loves him or anything, but she's attached to him. He's the only thing she has from home here."
"She won't need anything from 12 once we're Victors. She'll have me," I retort automatically.
The idea that I wouldn't be the one to kill him was extremely displeasing. I mean, yeah watching him die would suffice, but I'd prefer to do it myself. Show my dominance and superiority once and for all. Having him realize that "his" girl would be forever mine and there was nothing he could do to stop it…I shiver at the idea. Nothing would ever be as perfect as that moment. I had to be the one to do it.
"Yeah, okay, babe. Stop deluding yourself. There's no way they'll allow two Victors…"
"I always get my way, sweets. I don't know how it'll work, but I know it will. You just gotta have faith."
"I think you'll need more than faith, but alright," she sighs, knowing there was no use arguing with me. "Go to dinner, make amends with Clove, and I'll work on a plan to fix this since you're hopeless."
"Hey!" I exclaim. "This one was definitely her overreacting."
"Possibly, but even so, you aren't one to talk about overreacting," Leyla trails off, looking towards the door, where I know outside lays the huge mess I created. Whoops.
"Touché."
Before I can stop myself, I begin to think over Leyla's words. Yeah, sure, even I knew it was unlikely that Snow would allow both Katniss and I to be Victors if we were the last two remaining, but even if we were, why would she decide to be with me? I'm sure she was popular at home and had many guys lined up to marry her if she made it back to District 12. Why in the fuck would Katniss Everdeen choose a guy like me? I have nothing to offer besides my good looks, and I knew she wanted more than that in a man. I have no skills, besides killing (and I didn't think she'd count that, despite how proficient I may be). I wasn't very personable, not like her precious Bread Boy. Yeah, we would be set financially for life, but I doubted she'd want my company. I am worthless to her... nothing more than an object that once held promise and purpose, now forever a piece of trash.
"What?" she asks, taking note of my distant expression.
"I think… I think maybe I should just let it go," I mutter dejectedly. "You're right. I'm hopeless. The whole situation is hopeless. Even if we won together, what would make her stay with me? I have nothing to offer her but protection in the Arena, and once we're outside of that, I'm useless. Killing is the only thing I know how to do, but I'm fairly certain that's a useless skill after the Games are over."
"Cato,-"
"No Leyla, I give up."
When people all stare
I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk
Whenever I see you I'll swallow my pride and bite my tongue
Pretend I'm okay with it all
Act like there's nothing wrong
A/N: Poor Cato, nothing is going his way at all!
Next few chapters:
The "Girl-Entourage" teams up for a potential Kato-vention (clever name, aye?)
Interviews
Whatever else I randomly come up with, which seems to be how I write most of these chapters...or how they write themselves I should say.
Thank you for the support! Kisses all around. The song at the bottom is Kelly Clarkson's, "Cry". Obsessed with it thanks to Glee haha.