Hey folks !
Wow, thank you so much for your appreciations, your reviews, follows and favs. You really are amazing! And I am sorry I made some of you cry... It almost wasn't intended ;) But, truth to be told, it gave me the will to go further with this story by maybe adding a 5th chapter. What do you guys think about that? Or I could just leave it with the last chapter in two weeks. Let me know ;p
So, here's the new chapter, as promised. I hope you will like it.
Don't forget to tell me what you thought about it, I'm always pleased to see how you felt reading my story.
Note : I am French and un-betaed, so all mistakes are mine. My apologies if that bothers you, I am trying my best here :)
Now, let's read :) See you in two weeks for the 4th chapter ;)
« You knew didn't you? You knew all along? »
She had entered the office uninvited, and the glass door, behind her push, had almost broken. She wished it had. She wished it would have shattered into a thousand pieces. Cat Grant was furiously walking towards the two sitting men, eating their lunchs happily. They were smiling and laughing as if nothing had ever happened. How could they do that? Processing her presence, James and Winn had jumped, and looked at her in confusion. It was not usual for her to come see them. Unless, of course, she wanted to yell at them for some reason. Today, she seemed pissed-of. Not sad, or broken. Not lonely or nostalgic like the past weeks. Truth to be told, Cat Grant had never been so angry. For years, these two employees had lied to her. Lies, no matter what were their purpose, tended to hurt other people. Coming closer, she tore James's sandwich from his hands and threw it away.
« Ms. Grant, what are you-? » The man said, getting up.
She pointed her finger at him, threatening. She wanted to slap him for what he had done. She wanted to release her anger and her pain. She wanted to scream until she could no longer breathe. What was the point ? Don't talk. Don't say anything, liar. How could her whole staff lie to her that way? How could they do this to her? She felt betrayed. Even worse : lonely.
« You knew it was her! You knew! And you didn't tell me! »
« Her? Who? » Said Winn, scared by his boss demeanor.
Her eyes shot arrow at them before carefully turning towards the door. Thank god, it was closed, keeping her other employees from earring what was going on. She didn't need another fuss. She didn't need them to know. Especially after what she had just learned. Taking a deep breath, Cat Grant dragged a chair so that she could sit next to the two criminals. She had to remain as calm as she could be. Crossing her legs, she wore her most serious mask. She remained silent for a few second, before letting a sigh escape her lips.
« Kara is… was…Supergirl. »
Her lip quivered, her voice failed her. Tears were threatening to run down her cheeks. How could a simple name hurt like this? How could memories break her heart even further? Kara and her smile. Kara and her laugh… Kara when she ran her hand over her arm, the warm feeling of her fingers brushing her's when she gave her her daily latte. She stared at the carpet underneath her, not willing to show the two friends how her assistant's death stil affected her. How broken she was. Because she was broken, destroyed, and could no longer be fixed.
« You must be mistaken. » James tried, serious as never.
Nice try, dear. Only this time she couldn't be wrong. Kara was Supergirl. Too many coincidences. Too many proofs. Kara had died with Supergirl saving the world. She could not be mistaken. She had been right all along. Her suspicion about her assistant… everything was true. How did she manage to appear as Kara and Supergirl in the same time? Why wouldn't she tell the truth? She shrugged. This was a story for another day. Right now she needed to know… She really did need to know why she had been pulled aside.
« Oh, I don't think so Mr. Olsen. You two knew all along. How could you do this? »
« We promised not to tell. » Cut Winn.
She glared at him. He winced and avoided her. Winn Schott had been really desperate when Supergirl had died. He hadn't come for days in his office, taking a few moment to pull himself together. She understood now why. Why he had tears in his eyes when he heard Kara's name. Why he couldn't stare at the empty desk. All along, he knew that National City had lost a hero, and CatCo it's more valuable asset. Yet, he didn't tell anything. He kept this secret for himself, grieving on both his friend and heroes while she was still thinking that Kara would eventually show up. And she never did. How selfish… How selfish of him.
« The hell you promised ! You made me think she died because of the wave. You made me think that she… was not strong enough. She died a hero. She was my assistant for god's sake! »
My assistant.
My friend.
My confident.
My everything.
And I loved her.
« She is gone now… It doesn't matter anymore. »
She sighed. James was right. She had died and her secret had remained unknown until now. But this article? Why write this if not for Cat to know? She sighed, and her lips quivered. When she had read this famous article dedicated to her, the CEO had heard her former assistant's voice in her head.
« It matters because… because it means that she didn't trust me enough. »
Tears were forming back into the jade eyes. Did Kara really trust her? She took her head between her hands, tired of all the feelings melting inside of her. Tired of this hole inside of her. Kara was gone. Kara was in space alone. She suddenly felt a hand on resting on her shoulder. It was James's. Her normal self would have found this inappropriate and ran away from this unwanted touch. Her normal self would have. Not the broken woman she was today.
« She did trust you, Ms. Grant. More than she trusted any of us. »
« Then why didn't she tell? »
It was a scream. It was pain. It was all the frustration she had been holding back for the past weeks. It was everything, in a small question. Why? Why not her ? Why them? Why were they so special?
« She couldn't. See… Kara cared about you. For nothing in the world she would have put you in danger. »
« And not knowing who she really was wasn't dangerous, you think? »
James sighed. He began to walk inside the little study, caressing his bold head with his right hand. He was embarrassed for sure. He didn't know where to begin. She let a single drop escape her eyes, and immediately wiped it away. She couldn't allow herself to be weak. Supergirl was gone. She had to remain strong for National City. Replace the fallen hero. She had to be strong for Kara.
« Winn and I… we don't have anything, or anyone relying on us. We don't have children, we don't have girlfriends… If we were targeted by some crazy alien and died, it wouldn't be a big deal, except for Kara… but you… You have two sons to live for. You don't get to die because of her. She wouldn't be able to live with herself after that. You know how she lost her family? How could she let Carter lose you? No, , she couldn't tell you. You have been targeted too many times… »
Targeted? Yes, her life had been threatened, but it wasn't the first time. She remembered live-wire. She remembered Siobhan. All the people that threatened to destroy her and almost did. If she was alive, it was thanks to her blond heroin. But James was right. She had people relying on her. Carter for starters. Carter, her sweet and beloved son whom she couldn't even look in the eyes anymore. She knew he was sad. She smiled softly. Kara had told her about losing her parents. She wouldn't allow Carter and Adam to live the way she did. Stupid hero…
« I wouldn't have said anything… » She whispered.
« It's not just that. James and I knew from the beginning who she was. We knew her as Kara Zor-El, as Supergirl. To you, she was only Kara Danvers, a naive assistant dedicated to make your life better and that is how you liked her. You liked her because of who she was, not because of her superpowers. You were the part that kept her somehow human Ms. Grant. And she couldn't let that go… She couldn't let you go.»
They were right. She loved Kara. Kara and Supergirl as two different person. Now that they were one… She sighed and turned her back to them. They kept their eyes focused on her, as she made her way out. She had no more reason to stay. She had learnt enough.
She couldn't let that go… She couldn't let me go…
Running back to her office, she looked at her latte and sobbed. It didn't taste the same. It didn't taste like love and care, it didn't have this cinnamon taste. Throwing it away, she found herself reading Kara's letter again and again. Letting her words sink into her heart.
I wish I could have told you what you meant to me.
I wish I could have told you too…
Her entire life had been made up lies.
Her mother used to tell her that her father died a hero while all he did was drink all day.
Her friends, whom she trusted deeply, only talked to her because she was famous and rich.
Her husbands promised to love her eternally.
Kara had said she wasn't Supergirl…
Who could she trust?
No one.
Not even herself.
Sometimes, people lie to preserve those they love.
That's what her mother did, and Kara.
Thinking about it, Cat realized that she kept on blaming people because they weren't truthful while she kept on lying to herself.
Those past years, she had been denying her attraction to the young lady outside her office. Truth to be told, she had always found Kara Danvers beautifully shining, in fact the most pure and innocent form of beauty. Cat Grant, on the other hand, felt rotten to the core. She had known pain, sacrifice, loss… She had built herself a wall so that no one could touch her ever again. What would happen if she had a bad influence on her? Could she alter the girl's perfection with one touch?
The CEO had convinced herself to burry her feelings for that reason. That's what she said.
Only it wasn't true.
She was just afraid. Afraid to fall, and never be caught. Afraid to love in a cruel world. Afraid to have a broken heart, again.
Kara's lie… was the most courageous act the Superhero had ever done. All she wanted was to protect her, and Carter.
Because she loved her, right?
It had to be love, inside her azure eyes in which she could almost see the galaxy.
And Cat? She was in love with Kara too. Despite her troubles to admit it. Yes. She loved her with all her heart, even though she was no longer here. Was she? Was she really gone?
Inside of her mind, deep into her soul, the young blond lived and forever would.
Sometimes, we lie to those we love… and Kara loved her.
« So, how it is like out here? »
Cat Grant was siting on her armchair, looking at the sky, a glass of wine in her hand. The bottle remained by her side, empty like her heart. It was late, as usual and everybody was gone. Again. Why would they stay? They had a family to go back to, friends waiting for them. She had finished work early, but wasn't ready to go home. She knew only emptiness and silence would await her. Carter was at his father again. She didn't feel like being alone tonight. She smirked at the dark sad sky above her. She stared into the none, looking for a particular star in the galaxy. Looking for her.
« I guess you have found your parents again…You said they died in a fire. It wasn't really true. It was more than that. You saw them die when your planet exploded.»
She swallowed, letting tears dwell on her beautiful and aging face. She drowned her lips into the red liquid and let it run down her throat. She took a sip of freedom in bottle and smiled. She did feel like the Queen, at the top of her empire. From the very edge of her balcony, she could admire every subject that lived in her kingdom. There was this little family, and their dog. The husband was usually working late, but it didn't keep the two children from waiting for him everyday. The CEO watched happy people and wondered. She wondered if she could ever have this…
« You did lied to me… But I don't blame you. I know why you did it and that makes you even stronger then what I thought you were. »
She sighed.
« I don't how what I will do without you, Kara…The truth is… I like-liked you a lot. I had feelings for you. »
Cat wiped a new tear. Feelings. That was a big word. One that she wasn't really used to. Feelings. That was what Kara had given her. Feelings she didn't quite get. She liked the girl, thought she was gorgeous and attractive. She loved everything about her. Even her laugh. She hadn't said anything because… well… She was her, and Kara was Kara. She was old, and the blond girl young. She had lived and the assistant had her whole life to discover the world.
« You must think : poor old Cat Grant. She had a schoolgirl crush over her assistant, who was in fact, an alien. Well, yes. It doesn't matter now that you are…where you are. »
She had dreamed to kiss her one day. She had dreamed of just touching her soft and fresh lips with hers, exchanging a chaste and yet true kiss. She had been in love for about a year. Was it truly love? Her heart used to beat faster when she was near, she would feel butterflies… She sighed. Kara was dead. And she loved her.
« What am I even thinking… It's not like you are ever going to answer me… »
She rose, and her glass of wine shattered into the ground. The liquid was now forming a beautiful puddle. It could have been blood. It could have been her blood. She smiled sadly and took a step on her armchair. From her throne, she could reach the edge of the balcony. It was so easy to just slip and fall… She sat there, her feet into the air. The wind was blowing. She could fall if she wanted to… She just had one move to make… Just one…
« If I fall, will you catch me? »
« I have a scoop for you. »
Cat sighed of annoyance. What was she even doing here? She hadn't called her if she remembered well and it wasn't time for her latte. She had plenty of things to do, and not a single minute to take care of whatever her new assistant had been bringing her. Besides, she didn't like the new girl. With her brown hair and her dark eyes, Hélène Dussel was a french woman with a thick accent and no flaw. She was exactly Kara's contrary. But at least, she was sufficient at her work. That's all that mattered. Cat didn't need a beautiful girl. Just someone willing to to their job…
« Not now, Eileen.. » The CEO spat, not even looking at the tall brunette in front of her.
« It's about Supergirl. »
Cat froze. She hadn't heard that name for so long… Months… Her heart trembled. It had been almost a year since Supergirl had died. Why would her new assistant talk about her now? Now that she had been through her breakdown and had risen again? she sighed, indicating at her new employee to take a seat in front of her.
« What about her? »
« I have a contact in France, where I used to live… »
« To the point. »
The girl frowned. Hélène was not used to be interrupted that way. In France, she had been working for the government, wiling to engage herself into politics. She had failed and fled in the United States of America, seeking for a new life. This new page of her history began with the terrible Cat Grant, Queen of All Medias, most powerful woman of National City.
« Right. So this contact told me that a French Satellite spotted Supergirl floating above a nice city called Marseille… They want to bring her back to earth. »
Her heart stopped. Her old demon came rushing back into her heart. Kara. She was going to see Kara again. Dead maybe. But it was still something right? It had to be! This time, she would be able to let her go once and for all. Her body would find it's right place again, to her last home. She would be buried at last…
« Eileen, call Alex Danvers and book me a plane ticket. »
« Where to? »
« Marseille. »
To be continued...