A/N: Thank you all for indulging me in my Rizzles drama. There is tons more to come.

Sometime quite later that night, Jane was still at work and happy for the distraction when her cell phone rang, even if it was signaling a call from her trouble-making little brother. "Hey bro, what's up?"

"Why the hell are you letting Frankie take Maura to that dance?"

"Hi to you, too…"

"I'm serious, Jane!"

"What? Gina Maggione cancelled on him last minute, and he wanted somebody to go with."

"Well why aren't you taking her?"

"Why…oh." It seemed like weeks ago that Tommy had seen Jane come out of Maura's bedroom one morning, and Jane had let him jump to conclusions. Poor guy was still confused. "Tommy, I appreciate your concern, but Maura and I aren't together."

"So you just slept with her that one time, then?"

"We didn't have sex," Jane said flatly, not particularly fond of discussing this area of her life with her brother. But she'd brought it on herself, so it was time to have it out. "We were just sharing the bed, because…" I'm five years old and had a nightmare. "Because the couch was killing my back. I was just giving you a hard time when I told you it was something more, Tommy, I'm sorry." There was silence on the line, as if Tommy was debating whether or not to rip into her. Hoping to dissuade him if that was the plan, Jane added, "It was nice of you to call up though, and try and set us straight."

"Yeah well…" He sounded confused. "I just thought—you know, if you were with Maura, you should be with her."

"I thought you liked her."

"I do, but I understand she's your best friend. I've been being kind of a jerk about the whole thing."

This was an uncharacteristically quick change of, well, character. "Uh… thanks, Tommy. Sorry if I was hard on you about it. I just…"

"Maura deserves better than me, I know."

"Hey, don't say that," Jane found herself saying, in spite of the fact that she was in actual agreement with him. It just sounded so pathetic actually coming from him.

"I'm not saying it for your pity, I'm saying it cause it's true. I'm a screw-up, Jane. Sure I'm good at chess, but I'm not smart enough for her. I'm not educated or fancy enough or anything like that."

"Well when you put it that way, is anyone?" Jane asked, trying to bring in some lightness. Booth, maybe. This put a slightly glum spin on her attempt to lighten up the conversation, but before she could linger on it too much, she realized she had another call. "Tommy, I gotta go—business is on the other line."

"Oh. Okay. Uh, see you later then, I guess…"

"Right. Bye."

Eden was calling to tell Jane that they had scheduled Alicia's memorial service for the evening after next, which was the night before Thanksgiving. Granted it wasn't ideal, it gave the Carlisles a day to plan and would allow at least one person from most of the families in their congregation to attend. Jane said this would work fine, and also explained their plan for Booth and Maura to go undercover.

"I know you haven't yet had the pleasure of meeting Dr. Isles, but I assure you she's quite the unexpected expert on your religion, so we should be all right."

A tad wary of this plan, Eden gave Jane a few tips (the most helpful being her suggestion that Booth pretend to be her and Alicia's bishop from school), then hung up. Jane spared a glance for the clock—it was nearly ten. She and Frost had been busily investigating David Wilson, Senator Howard's main rival, and his family. Politics was an ugly business, second possibly only to her own profession in its grisly nature. It was disturbing enough to know that people were so twisted as to commit the disgusting crimes Jane encountered every day, but to imagine that America's leaders could be prone to doing them—or at least hiring them out—was a whole other level of horror. And, unfortunately, one that was not without precedent. Why do people suck?

While Jane pondered this unanswerable question about the human psyche, Booth found himself walking down to the morgue. Cam had left several hours ago, but her revelation about Maura had been plaguing Booth all day. He hadn't been sworn to secrecy, but definitely knew it wasn't his place to say anything about it to Jane. However, the temptation to confront Maura was hard to fight. The timing was terrible—they were supposed to go undercover as a married couple, and him holding this over her head would be a really terrible way to start their fake relationship. It would also probably make Thanksgiving at her house a bit awkward. Ultimately the problem was that Booth didn't know Maura well enough to gauge how she would respond if he tried to bring up the subject of her past non-hetero experience. Was Vivian the only woman she'd ever been with? If not, how many? Was she really not attracted to Jane at all? If she was, why hadn't she acted on it? How could she call herself Jane's best friend and never have mentioned the fact that she had been romantically involved with a woman at least once before?

Booth knocked on her office door. Maura had planned on leaving earlier, but had gotten caught up in some work that had unexpectedly fallen in her lap. Normally she didn't like to be distracted (unless it was Jane), but when she opened her door and saw Seeley Booth standing there, she found herself happy for the interruption.

"Good evening, Agent Booth," she said, opening the door a bit wider. "Won't you come in?"

"On one condition," he said, standing in the doorway with his hands in his pockets. "Stop calling me Agent Booth."

"But…that's your name, isn't it?"

"Booth's my name, yes. So you can call me that, or call me Seeley. You don't have to be so formal with the 'Agent' stuff."

"Right," Maura said. "Come on in then, Seeley."

He grinned at her. "That's more like it."

"What can I do for you?"

And she looked so sweet and unassuming that Booth couldn't bring himself to attack her. She must have her reasons for keeping her relationship with Vivian Phillips a secret, and it would be inappropriate to bring it up now. "I guess… I guess I was wondering if you could give me some advice."

"Something to do with the case?"

"Not quite, no," Booth said, sitting himself on the edge of her desk as she stood in front of him. "It's to do with Bones. Dr. Brennan, I mean." Well, this was awkward. He definitely hadn't intended to bring this up, but under Maura's honest (and now curious) gaze, Booth had scrambled for a reason other than Vivian to have come down to speak to Dr. Isles. "You two seem like you're cut out of a similar mold."

Maura chuckled at that. "Yes, I suppose that's true. Just like you and Jane."

"You think so?"

"Oh, yes. From what I've witnessed, your interactions with Dr. Brennan are very reminiscent of mine with Jane."

"Really."

"Yes. You sound surprised."

"Only because—" Oh, what the hell. I might as well go there. "Only because she and I act the way that we do because we're attracted to each other."

Maura wasn't sure why she was surprised. If her memory served her correctly, something about this had come up in their group discussion at the Dirty Robber a couple of nights previously. It just hadn't stuck out in her hazy, tipsy recollection until now. "Oh," was all she could muster for a moment. "Oh. Right. And she was hesitant to take your relationship past the realm of friends because she believes—most likely in all correctness—that you would want two different things out of it."

"Exactly."

"What precisely is it you wanted my advice on, Agent…Seeley? How best to proceed with her?"

This wasn't quite what Booth had planned on discussing, but he decided to just go with it as best he could. "Well, sort of. You know that party your department is throwing tomorrow night? Lieutenant Cavanaugh very kindly made it known that I was welcome to attend, but I got the impression that anyone who goes is expected to bring a uh, well, a date. I can't take Jane because she's going with Angela, and Bones is the only other person around who I know. How do I ask her to go with me without making it sound, I don't know …like a real date? Keep her from getting the wrong idea?"

It was an incredibly juvenile question that Booth knew he didn't even need to ask. Inviting Bones to come with him would be easy ("Want to go?" "Sure, why not?"). But he'd needed to come up with something to say to Maura, no matter how inane. Whatever response he'd been expecting, it certainly wasn't the one he got:

"Simple. You take me, instead."

"What?"

"Jane and Dr. Brennan aren't the only ones around here that you know," Maura said patiently. "You also know me, and you ought to get to know me better before Alicia's memorial service so that we can practice becoming a believable couple."

This had definitely not been his intention. "But—but—aren't you going with Jane's brother?"

"Frankie came to me in a moment of desperation," Maura said. "He could take Dr. Brennan."

"But he asked you, though."

"Trust me, Seeley, he would be thrilled to take somebody else. If he went with Dr. Brennan, he could at least pretend it was a real date. He said he was happy to go with me, but the whole department knows who I am and that I would only be doing Frankie a favor by going with him. It would make him the happiest man on the force to be able to take a woman as beautiful and unrecognized as Dr. Brennan to this event. Have you already asked her to go with you?"

"Well—no, but—"

"All right then. I'll call Frankie and tell him the new plan."

Booth quickly stood up, stepping between Maura and where her cell phone lay on the desk. "Wait, Maura, don't you think we're sort of rushing into this?"

Puzzled by his hesitancy to go along with what she thought to be a rather brilliant idea, Maura said, "Are you uncomfortable with the notion of bringing me somewhere as your date? Do you find me unattractive?"

"What? Of course not. It just seems…like…" She waited patiently, but Booth was floundering, unable to give her a good reason as to why this might not be a great idea. He sighed heavily, stepping aside. "We should tell Jane, though."

"Why does everyone feel like they need to clear it with Jane before they can take me somewhere?" Maura burst out unexpectedly. "First Frankie, now you!"

"Whoa, Maura, I just…think she'd like to know about it before we all show up tomorrow."

Once she had calmed down, Maura quietly agreed, and Booth volunteered to go share the news. Maura had seemed very intent on this plan, and had offered to tell Jane herself, but Booth felt Jane would think it was a betrayal if she didn't hear it from him. So he traveled back upstairs while Maura called up Frankie with her proposal (and considering that he had met Brennan only once, he took it surprisingly well. She really would look good on his arm, and none of the guys would be able to tease him about not finding a date).

Jane turned around to see who had just joined her in her solitude, and smiled with relief upon seeing that it was Booth. "Hey, man. I think I'm just about ready to give in for the night." As he walked closer, his torn expression became more evident, and Jane frowned. "What's up, Booth?"

"I just had a really weird exchange with Maura," he said, awkwardly rubbing his neck and sitting down.

"How so?" Jane chuckled.

"Well she…she sort of invited—uh, she was really insistent that I go to this policeman's ball with her."

"What? She's going with Frankie."

"She wants Frankie to take Bones and me to go with her."

"But she…she…" Jane gulped, trying to calm her suddenly racing heartbeat. "What did you say?"

"Well, she didn't really give me a choice."

"What, did she hold you at gunpoint?" Jane asked, feeling a frightening and sudden urge to throw something heavy at Booth.

He'd been worried this might happen. "No, she was just very persistent! Jane, look, it's no big deal, all right? We're just going as friends. Besides, we thought it might help us get our undercover relationship down—it'll help if we know each other a little better, right?"

"How much better are you thinking, Booth?" Jane asked in a dangerously low voice, folding her arms.

"Whoa. Hey. That's low," Booth said darkly. "I would never do that to you, Jane. You were fine about letting Frankie take her as a friend, so why not me?"

"Because Frankie doesn't know how I feel about her!" Jane shot back. "You do, Booth, so if you take her, that'd be a real dick move!"

"Jane! Listen to yourself, you sound twelve!" Booth cried. "You are making this a way bigger deal than it needs to be, okay? Maura thought it'd give Frankie a real self-esteem boost if he could take someone like Bones to this party, because it wouldn't look like he'd had to scramble last minute to find anyone to go with him. And since that'd mean I couldn't take Bones, and I couldn't go with you because you're taking Angela, Maura volunteered to come as a friend. Not even a friend, a co-worker! I swear to God, Jane, I would never make a real move on her."

Jane still looked extremely cross, but she found herself unwillingly being drawn to Booth's side. She had been the victim of Maura's insane determination more times than she could count—unzip me—we can do this the easy way, or the hard way—I was hoping you'd go to the installation with me. We can get in. How could she be upset with Booth for falling prey to that same blind doggedness? Her frown remained, but looking into Booth's earnest eyes, she could see that the most important thing to him was keeping the peace.

"Okay," she mumbled softly, unfolding her arms. "Sorry I freaked out on you, Booth."

"That's all right," he said, relieved that she had rolled over so quickly. "You're totally justified. This is weird, I know."

"Nah, I mean, it's no big deal. It's just a party, right?"

"Right. You'd…I mean you'd be honest if it really did upset you though, right?"

Jane countered with her own question: "You'd be honest if you were really attracted to her, right?"

"Yes, Jane," he said seriously. "I just figure, hey. If you can't take the person you'd really like to, why should I? Even if Bones and I went together, it wouldn't be the way I'd like it to."

"Well, you're assuming that just because I'm hung up on Maura, I can't be intrigued by someone else. Someone else who, incidentally, I know for a fact would be interested in actually being a real date."

The Next Night…

When Jane entered the lobby of Angela's hotel, she turned more heads than just her date's. Part of this could have been attributed to her full police officer's uniform (was the hotel being raided?), but a lot of it was due to the fact that for lack of a better phrase, she looked devastatingly hot. It seemed ironic to everyone on the force that even though the point of the annual party was to sort of let loose, Cavanaugh insisted all of his officers look the part. Jane's male co-workers usually hated it when she decided to attend these parties, because she inevitably wound up arousing the interest of their dates simply due to her appearance. She would still be a knock-out in a dress or her typical suit, but there was just something about the combination of her girlish ponytail and heavily masculine uniform that made theretofore straight women swoon.

Indeed, all Angela could come up with to say was, "Are you real?"

"Very," Jane assured her in the most husky voice she could muster. Offering Angela her arm, she said, "You look quite ravishing yourself there, Ms. Montenegro."

"Why thank you," Angela said, taking Jane's arm and following her lead back outside. She wore a deep red dress that contrasted nicely not only with her skin but with the dark navy color of Jane's uniform, and a long black coat to protect her against the cold November night air. Noticing the hat tucked under Jane's arm, Angela asked, "Are you going to put that hat on when we get outside?"

"Well, it would be rude to wear it indoors," Jane replied, backing against the hotel's front door and holding it open for Angela. "If you really want me to, I guess I could wear it during the walk to the car. The problem is it sits kind of funny on my ponytail."

Angela gently took the hat from Jane's hand, and tried positioning it on the woman's head. "What if you tilted it just a bit, like…oh, yeah. Right there. Boom." That eased Jane's nerves enough to allow her to laugh as Angela needlessly straightened her tie. "God, you're sexy."

Jane fully intended to reflect the comment, but the words stuck in her throat. She found herself staring at this gorgeous woman's lips, and suddenly she was kissing them. Seeing as how it hadn't been planned, she couldn't truthfully say she had intended for it to remain short, but Jane had to admit she was pleasantly surprised that the kiss was going on for so long. Her hands were resting on the small of Angela's back, and Angela had responded by lifting her arms up and around Jane's neck, pulling her closer. They were standing on the sidewalk in front of the hotel, admittedly not the most private of places, but they weren't doing anything particularly scandalous …yet.

"God," Angela breathed when they finally broke apart. "How badly do you awnt to go to this party?"

"Oh," Jane said in a shuddering breath, feeling uncomfortably weak at the knees. "Everyone's expecting me to be there …I haven't been to one in years…"

"Why not?"

"Never had someone I wanted to go with."

"You want to go with me?" Angela asked, feeling severely gratified when Jane could only nod and unconsciously lick her lips. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather stay here with me?"

"Oh God, don't make me choose," Jane moaned, kissing her again.

Lord, this felt good. It had been months since Jane had kissed someone, and God knew how long it since she'd been kissed like this. Without being forceful and even without tongue, Angela was not holding back or hesitant in any way. Her attraction to Jane was obvious and unimpeded in her kiss, and her desire made Jane feel indescribably sexy. Something inside of her was being stirred up, driving her to want more and to be more. As she felt Angela's fingers weaving into her hair and threatening to pull it out of its tie, Jane knew she had to make a decision and fast.

"Wait, wait," she murmured, pulling away slightly. They were both flushed and breathing heavily, and Jane had to force herself to maintain eye contact as she continued: "You're right, I'm supposed to be the gentleman, here, so I should make the right choice. Let's go to the party. At least for a little while. That way, I, uh…" I can catch my breath. "That way I could feel a little better about this. I mean, if we at least had one date under our belt before, uh…"

"Before I undo yours?" Angela suggested. "Oh, come on," she laughed good-naturedly as Jane just shook her head. "You so set me up for that one!"

"Yeah, I guess I did," Jane admitted, taking a step back and holding out her hand. Angela took it, and they restarted their journey to Jane's car. "Let's see if you're still interested in pursuing anything with me after you've actually spent real time with me."

"Honey, I don't think there's a thing you could do or say that would turn me off."

"Hm…what if I said I hated Constance Isles' art?"

"Nope."

"If I made Elaine from Seinfeld look like a good dancer?"

"Not even that."

"If I told you I'd vote for Sarah Palin if she ever ran for President?"

"I'm sorry, are you trying to make me stop liking you?" Angela laughed, stopping outside of Jane's car.

Jane just smiled, opening Angela's door and giving her one short kiss. "Of course not. Just teasin' ya."

"Good," Angela said, getting in. She waited until Jane had walked around the car and gotten in as well before adding, "That woman makes my flesh crawl."

"Brr. That word makes my skin crawl," Jane said with a shiver.

"What word?" Angela asked, as Jane started driving.

"Flesh. Ugh! Gross."

"You don't like flesh?"

"Stop saying it!" Jane laughed. "I like it, like the thing, I just don't like the word. I can't explain it. I just hate the way it sounds, especially when I try to say it."

"Any other word aversions I should know about?"

Jane took a deep breath, steadying herself for the unpleasantness of saying these words she so desperately, inexplicably hated: "Panties, moist, ointment, and vaginal."

"Vaginal?"

"Yeah, I don't know why that one really gets to me and vagina doesn't."

"This is a really weird conversation for a first date…"

"Sorry. It is."

"I just find it very interesting that most of those words you hate are associated with things I'm guessing you really like," Angela said.

Jane snorted a laugh. "Yeah, I'm sure there's some Freudian, psychological mumbo-jumbo Maura would be willing to throw at me for that."

"So, just to make sure…it would be a huge turn-off for you if I just came out and said, Jane, I want you to pull down my panties because I think your fingers would be the perfect ointment for the flesh of my achingly moist, vaginal walls?"

It didn't matter that it was an honest proposal, because the only reason Angela had really said it was to push all of Jane's buttons at once. She laughed at the snarky response it got her: "All I can say is that you're lucky I can't drive and shoot your mouth at the same time."