. . . . .
I was supposed to meet Edward, but I didn't want another evening with him, sitting in the Cullens' living room or listening to him play the piano. I wanted something fun, borderline dangerous, something that made me feel alive. I wanted Jacob.
So I picked up my phone and texted him, hoping he'd answer fast.
I didn't need to worry. I could practically feel his enthusiasm through the phone.
Dialing Edward, I cleared my throat and thought of what I was going to tell him. Better not to lie, but I had to come up with something believable.
"Good evening. The Cullen residence," Esme's upbeat greeting made me smile. I almost rethought my decision, but plunged forward.
"Hi Esme, it's Bella. Is Edward there?"
"He's outside with Emmett. Let me get him. How are you dear?"
"I'm fine. But I've got a lot of homework. I was going to come over, but I'd better not tonight."
"That's too bad, dear. Do what you have to do. We'll see you later this week. Here's Edward now."
"So, you're cancelling on me?" Edward's soft voice still sent goose bumps scattering across my arms and legs, and my stomach flip-flopped twice. I could tell he was smiling.
"Yeah," I tried to make my voice sound bummed. "This AP English essay is killing me. I should know better than to put it off until the last minute." I looked over at my desk where my finished essay had been sitting in its clear report cover for most of the week. I blushed and was glad Edward couldn't see me. I was a terrible liar.
"That's fine. I'll leave you alone tonight so you can get it done. Can I still pick you up for school tomorrow?" He sounded sad, like he knew I was making it up. I was sure my guilty conscience was making me imagine it.
"Um, yeah. That's perfect. Thanks. I'll see you then?"
We hung up and I dove off of my bed, tearing through my closet for something clean. And cute.
Charlie looked up from the basketball game as I thundered down the stairs.
"Going somewhere? On a school night?" He raised his eyebrows, hinting.
"Uh, yeah. Jake and I had plans." I bit my lip and crossed my fingers behind my back. "And my homework is already done."
"Oh. Well, then. Do you have enough gas in your truck?"
I nodded.
"Be safe. And don't stay out too late. I don't want you all tired out for school in the morning."
I nodded and shrugged into my jacket. I tried not to skip as I raced to my truck.
. . . . .
Jacob flung the door open and ran out to meet me before I could even turn off the ignition.
"Bells!" He pulled me from the truck and spun me in a circle.
I shrieked and dragged my toes, trying to get a foothold, giggling and out of breath. He smelled like heaven in a tee-shirt.
"What do you want to do?" His eyes were shining and his cheeks were flushed.
"Anything. Nothing. Whatever." I pushed my shoulder into his chest. "I just wanted to hang out with you."
He grinned like a kid in a candy store.
"So, how about a ride in the Rabbit?"
I shrugged and grinned back, "That sounds great."
He opened the passenger door and I slid inside.
"Wait here!" He ran back into the house and came back with a bundle that he threw into the hatchback.
"What's that?" I craned to see behind me as he got in.
"Never mind. You'll see. I had an idea, but I've never had time to show you before tonight. That is, if you're up for it?" He looked at me expectantly.
I giggled and buckled my seat belt. "How can I say no if I have no idea what it is? Wait—does it involve anything cold and wet? Or anything that will make me out of breath and sweaty?" I blushed. Way to go, Bella. Sheesh.
Jacob tilted his head and let out a booming laugh. "I hope you're talking about sports, there, Swan. And no, nothing out-of-breath and sweaty. Maybe cold, but you've got me, so that shouldn't be much of a problem."
He gave me that sideways look that always tied my stomach in gloriously-fluttery knots. The Rabbit chortled to life and he lurched off of the grass and onto the gravel road. He cranked up the heat on my behalf and fuddled with the radio. My hands rested in my lap and I could see him eyeing their proximity. He picked a station, reached for my hand and brought it back to his lap in one smooth movement. I bit my lip to stifle a smile. He didn't even try to hide his. My heart pounded.
We rattled down roads I'd never been on, each more potholed and jouncy than the last. Finally Jacob made a sharp right and the car skidded to a stop. It was so black out that I couldn't see anything for a minute after he'd turned off the headlights. We sat in silence, somewhere below us the ocean was beating a steady rhythm on rocks I couldn't see.
"Where are we?" I looked to Jacob, the dash lights reflecting soft green off of his high cheekbones and smooth jaw line.
"Ok, so this is my favorite spot," he mumbled. "You might not like it, and we can leave if you don't. But I want to show you something before you decide."
He unwound his long limbs and climbed out of the car. He leaned back in. "Stay in the car for a minute."
He popped open the hatchback, grabbed the mysterious bundle and disappeared into the dark. Three minutes later, he opened my door and held out his hand to me.
He led me down a rutted path, and I could see that we were parked near the top of a cliff overlooking the ocean. He picked out a careful path, warning me of rocks and roots that would trip me. I still tripped.
"I thought you said no sports, Black!" I giggled as I huffed along behind him. "This seems like high-impact hiking to me, and in the pitch-dark, no less!"
He snorted and stopped abruptly. Grabbing hold of my arms, he swung me effortlessly onto his back and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Hold on then, wimp," he laughed, shaking his head. "We're almost there."
I clung to him and unconsciously inhaled. My whole body tingled with proximity and anticipation. "Now this kind of hiking is more like it," I gently kneed him for emphasis. "Giddy-up?"
He rocketed forward and I hung on for dear life, giggling as he practically flew over the rough terrain. Up ahead, I could see a faint glint through the trees, and he slowed to a walk. I let go of his neck and slid down his broad back until my feet touched the ground. "What is this?"
He stopped and nodded, motioning me forward through a break in the trees. I stepped through into a wide, mossy clearing in between a thick grove of pines. A blanket was carefully spread on the ground, and two small tea light candles glinted in the corner. "Jake… what? I… Oh."
His eyes looked concerned. "Is it too much? I don't want to make you feel weird or anything…" he dug his hands into his pockets and looked down to his shoes.
"No. It's great. I just, um. I just didn't expect it, that's all." I wrapped my arms around his waist. "Shall we?" I pulled him toward the spot he'd set up for us.
His smile returned, and he helped me find the most comfortable spot on the blanket.
"So it's new moon, and that's the best time since the sky is dark. So, um, just lay back." He motioned to the blanket. I squinted and weighed my options.
Edward. If he knew what we were doing, if he were spying on me right now… What would he think? But Alice couldn't see me through Jacob, and Edward probably still thought I was studying at home. And Jacob wouldn't push it. He knew I was with Edward. He'd been pretty respectful of that lately, even though I knew how he still felt.
I tipped myself backwards onto the blanket, and Jacob pulled a warm army blanket over me. He blew out the candles and scooted back over, settling in close to my side, our arms touching.
"Can you see ok?"
"See?" It was pitch black. What was I supposed be seeing?
"The stars. Can you see them ok?"
"Oh. Yeah…" My breath rushed out in awe, and for maybe the first time in my life, I really saw them. Out here, away from the city lights that had always been too bright in Phoenix and even in tiny Forks, I saw them. Millions and billions of stars. More than I'd ever thought possible. How was that I'd gone almost 18 years and never seen this?
Jacob inched a little closer so we were looking at the sky from the same vantage point, and he raised his left arm up over us. "See that biggest one right there? And then the two that are just a little dimmer? They make a triangle. See that?"
I nodded, gulping slightly at his closeness and the immense stretch of sky overhead.
"If you look carefully at the base of the triangle, you can see a long trail of stars that looks like a tail. See it? That's Draco. And over there, see those bright ones that make a W shape?"
I squinted and tried to follow where he was pointing. "Oh! Yeah! Over there!" I was excited now. This was amazing.
"That's Cassiopeia. And just a little below that one, kinda down and over to the left a little, can you see the four stars that make a square?"
He waited for my nod.
"If you look closely, you'll see three more stars under it that make an up-side down triangle at the base. Like an upside down house. That's Cepheus." His finger traced the shape and I grinned into the dark. His hands fell, lightly touched mine. I inhaled too sharply. My stomach flipped over on itself and tingles soaked my spine.
"And there's the one I really wanted you to see," he pointed up again, ignoring my visceral response to his touch. "See that big one there, the brightest one in the sky? That's Polaris, the North Star. If you look really hard, you'll see it's the eye-star of our tribal constellation, the Wolf."
He pointed out the head, the trail of stars that made up the back and the tail, and the wiggly line of stars that, when connected, completed the outline of a giant wolf. I squinted and tried hard, and finally saw it there. I stared at it for a long time and breathed out a long, happy sigh.
"It's amazing. Jake, how do you know all of this?" I rolled up onto my left elbow, our faces just inches apart.
"I don't know," he shrugged, downplaying his answer. "It's just something we learn from the time we're little kids. Stars, constellations are a big deal to our people. The stars used to be our guide when we traveled, and our calendar. We'd plan our whole year around what the night sky was telling us. The moon and the stars are our connection to those who came before us and those who will come after us."
I watched his lips move in the dim light while he explained. His eyes flickered between my eyes and my lips. I didn't even realize I was leaning into him until our lips touched. We both took in a sharp breath and neither of us moved for a split second. Then his hands came up and wove through my hair, pulling me closer and pressing us into a full kiss. I pulled back slightly, resisting for just a second. But he didn't let go, and I didn't want him to.
I raked my hands through his hair, down the back of his neck, along his broad shoulders. His lips were soft, just wet enough. And warm—so very warm. His tongue lightly grazed my lips and I surrendered to him. He sensed the change and put one arm under me, his hand resting on the small of my back. He lifted me up and slid under my hips. I could feel his solid chest rising and falling faster under me, and I threw myself into the moment. My lips traced down the side of his face, along his jaw. One hand gripped the back of his neck and the other slipped up the front of his tee-shirt to his warm, bare stomach. I lightly scraped my nails across the hot, smooth flesh. His hands pulled my hips tighter to his and he pressed his pelvis into mine. He groaned and I tightened my grip on his hair, pulling in closer to him everywhere I could.
I felt right for the first time in so long.
"Bella." He broke away from my kiss. "Wait."
I came back to my senses and rolled off of him. Sat up. My hair was a tangled mess and the blankets under and around us were rumpled and twisted.
He looked sheepish and tried to help me untangle us. "It's not that I don't want to, I just don't know if I'm taking advantage of the situation. You know, starlight and all…" He fumbled for words and I laughed in spite of myself. He continued, "I just don't this to ruin our friendship. Or for you to regret this in the morning."
Oh, god. The friends talk...
Oh, god. The morning.
I'd have to face Edward in the morning.
. . . . .