A/N: Thanks for sticking with me, people! Oh my gosh, I suck at updating this. Kind of a mess, sorry. I think I should be able to end it in a few chapters. (I know the updates have been sporadic, but I promise I will finish this. Soon, because it's stressing me out! Ha, ha. But seriously.)

When Booth got out of his car, Jane practically snatched the keys out of his hand and drove off. He raised an eyebrow at this odd behavior, and not much was cleared up when he turned his gaze towards Maura and saw her standing in the yard, looking shell-shocked. She did not seem to notice his presence, even when he walked right up to her.

"Maura? Anyone home?"

The question pulled her out of her reverie. "Hm? Yes, I'm home. Let's go."

"What uh… what just happened?" Booth asked slowly as Maura walked robotically to her car. She reached the door and handed him the key, feeling too dazed to drive. He helpfully opened her door for her and prodded her back in the direction of the car before going in to the driver's side and getting in. Maura silently handed him the detachable GPS she kept in her car, and he warily entered Eden's address inside of it, glancing up occasionally at Maura's stoic expression. "Seriously. Maura? Something happen just now?"

"I think…" She furrowed her brow and finally turned to look at him. "Seeley, I think Jane feels the same way I do."

"Wait. Like you mean… you think she's attracted to you?"

Maura finally turned to look at him. "She said I could have any Rizzoli I wanted."

Booth laughed triumphantly. "Yes! See? She likes you!"

"She likes me."

He laughed again, pulling out of the driveway. "She likes you."

The words sunk in, and a smile of disbelief found its way onto Maura's face. "She likes me!"

She granted Booth a high-five, but before she get too much more excited about it, Maura felt annoyance seeping in. It wasn't so much disheartening that initiative-taking, bold and brash Jane Rizzoli had taken a sort of chicken's-way out of telling her. That was fine, it was cute, in its own way. But couldn't she have at least waited until after this memorial service was over? They were supposed to be in mourning, particularly Maura, who was going undercover as someone the dead girl would have been very close to. And she had to pretend to be married to Seeley. She had to be reserved and respectful and able to make inquiries when all she wanted to do was take Jane someplace—any place—they could be alone. A talk was very much in order, but there could be no denying that what she wanted most, right now, was for Jane to kiss her.

But it would have to wait. It would have to wait for a memorial service—gosh, how cheerful.

The Carlisle's had initially been skeptical of the undercover plan, not enjoying the prospect of lying, but Eden had convinced them that as it was all for a good cause, it would be fine. The younger children were left in the dark, as their parents didn't think they could be trusted to keep a secret, and so thought when Seeley and Maura arrived that they were really meeting Eden's own bishop away from home and his wife.

Maura found herself shaking more hands than she could count, and that was just from the Carlisle family itself. The house was enormous and full to bursting with people, making it very difficult to spot Jane. She and Booth must have gone through at least three rooms before she finally saw Jane, leaning against the wall by a very long table that had been decorated with photos of Alicia, many of them appearing to be from various church activities. Jane was deep in conversation with a middle aged couple, both of whom looked appropriately emotional. Knowing it was probably wrong to be thinking of this right now, Maura couldn't help but adore the look of pure, sweet sympathy on Jane's face as she talked to these people, listening to their loss while no doubt also finding tactful ways to extract the kind of information she needed.

It was a few moments before Maura realized someone was pulling on her dress. She looked down to see a young blonde girl, maybe four or five, trying to get her attention. "Yes, sweetie?" she asked, recognizing her as one of the Carlisles' younger children.

"Are you really the Bishop's wife?" the girl asked. Maura instantly worried that she had somehow blown her cover—what could a child have picked up on?—but she was put quickly at ease when the girl pointed at the woman Jane was talking to and said, "That's our Bishop's wife. She's old. You're way prettier."

"Oh, well thank you, dear," Maura laughed softly. "Remind your name?"

"Kirtley."

"Right. That's…" Unfortunate. "A very unique name!"

"Thank you!" Kirtley chirped, guessing by Maura's smile and kind tone that it had been a compliment.

Maura glanced at Booth, who was talking animatedly to three women (all of whom appeared to find him quite interesting), before looking back down at Kirtley. "Did you know Alicia very well?"

"She's Eden's best friend," Kirtley said simply. "Oh, look!"

She pointed to the other side of the spacious room, where it looked like Eden was trying to get everyone's attention. Maura turned and saw that most of the people who had gathered for the service were now crowded into this room, waiting, listening. Booth walked back to Maura and, for the sake of their cover, took her hand.

"Uh, some people have been asking if I was going to give a eulogy or something," Eden said, her voice wavering with tears. "And I don't know if I'm supposed to or not, given that this is a m-memorial service and not a… a funeral. But I did feel like I should maybe say some words to get us started off as we remember A.J. I've already heard so many stories from you all, sharing times she has touched your lives or helped you in some way. Alicia was great at that, wasn't she? She wanted us all to be…" Her voice caught with emotion, and she accepted some tissues from her father, who was standing nearby. "To be joyful. It feels weird to talk about joy at a time like this, in a place like this, but considering the kind of person Alicia was and the holiday we are celebrating tomorrow—thank you all for coming despite that, by the way—it seems appropriate.

"Alicia was always happy, before she joined this church, too. But she said since joining it, she had learned to tell the difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is temporal and temporary, easily revoked and not always restored. Joy, though, is eternal. It is divine. What we have lost today can be given back in even better condition. That is how I know that Alicia is still with us, and is looking down on us. She would advise us all to think of that difference between joy and happiness. Don't live in the now. Maintain your eternal perspective."

Maura could feel Jane's eyes on her. When she dared to glance over, she saw Jane with her arms folded respectfully, but indeed looking at her. Jane hadn't meant to stare, but she was unable to help it once Eden had started talking about all this. Her job made her happy, her family made her happy, Jo Friday's excitement made her happy—but Maura was the only person, the only thing, the only force that had ever brought her true joy. Despite their somber surroundings, Jane managed the smallest of rueful smiles, and Maura weakly, briefly returned it.

"Alicia wanted to major in sociology or philosophy," Eden continued. "She hadn't decided yet. But she was very, very interested in the human experience." She shrugged. "What is the human experience? What sets us apart from the creatures who crawl on the earth, who fly in the air, who live in the ocean? For a scientific distinction, you might ask Dr. Isles," she said, nodding at Maura. "My bishop's wife, who is quite brilliant, if you ask the Bishop!" A few people laughed politely. "And Bishop Isles, you could ask him for a spiritual response, because he is a worthy, devout, and wise individual who is smart, and very good at his job." Eden turned and looked over at Jane. "I'm sure plenty of you noticed Detective Rizzoli tonight, who asked very respectfully if she could join us in our service. I know she is very intent on doing her job, and doing it well, but I know there is more to it than that. She's not just here because Alicia was the daughter of a politically important man. She cares about Alicia and what happened to her. She cares about the impact it's had on all of us, on me, on everyone. She cares about the human experience. We all bring different strengths to the table, guys. We need each other. Please. Please remember God did not intend for us to live our lives in solitude. Alicia always celebrated our beautiful differences as a species, as a nation, as a religion. Experience life. That's the best way you can give her tribute."

After closing in Jesus' name, the congregated mourners gave a loud, resounding "amen." Booth turned to Maura and said, "If I was still a gambling man, I'd be willing to bet real money that Korsak and Frost aren't gonna hear anything as nice as that at Alicia's official funeral."

Before Maura could respond, Kirtley got her attention again. "Are you really a doctor?" she asked, looking extremely impressed.

"Yes dear, I am."

Kirtley was fascinated, and didn't let Maura out of her sight. In fact, she wound up taking Maura's hand and showing her around the house, introducing her to the occasional person but mostly intent on pointing out things in their house that she liked. Maura figured it was safe to go along, as she would be of very little help in assisting Booth to get the kind of information he wanted from these people. In fact, this was vastly better—people would have been bound to ask her things if she was with Booth, to send questions her way she wouldn't have been able to answer well: how many kids do you have? What are their names? Where do they go to school? How long have you been married? What was your favorite memory about Alicia? Who are you staying with while you're in Boston? Perhaps one question at a time would have been doable, but Maura had already exhausted herself with introductions when they had first arrived. Following Kirtley around was much less stressful, because she would ask things without expecting them to be answered, often changing the subject halfway through asking one.

"And here's where we keep the pets!" Kirtley announced, leading Maura into one of the basement's many rooms. "Except Brig, though. Brig's the dog. He sleeps outside. Sticky's the lizard, Pepper and Salt are the frogs, and Birdie's the parakeet! We have one more pet, but he's not allowed in here. Mom's in this room too much and she doesn't like him."

"Like who?"

"Well, Brock said he didn't have a name, but I called him Bob," Kirtley said. "Brock used to be Eden's boyfriend. Actually, I think they were gonna get married! But they didn't. But he was going to go work with a band or something, and his mom said she wouldn't keep Bob in the house if Brock wasn't there to take care of him, so Eden said we'd look after him. Mom was really mad, 'cause Bob's kind of freaky," she added in a whisper. "That's why he has to stay in Eden's room, but Eden doesn't care. She's not afraid."

"What exactly is Bob?" Maura asked, expecting perhaps some type of snake.

"A spider!" Kirtley giggled, looking as if the mere word made her feel delightfully wicked. "Or some kind of spider, like a… a ten—a tarant…"

"A tarantula?"

"Yes! A tarant-la!"

For the first time in their impromptu tour, Maura crouched down to be at Kirtley's eye level. She remembered Hodgins identifying the piece of the arthropod she and Brennan had found on Alicia's body as belonging to a type of tarantula—a it had had 'Zebra' in its name, if her memory was correct. Maura asked Kirtley if she could take her to Eden's bedroom to meet Bob, and Kirtley happily obliged. So they went back up the stairs, through the labyrinthine halls of the house, and up another staircase that ultimately led to Eden's room. Seemingly proud of the fact that the tarantula didn't scare her, Kirtley seemed to take great pleasure in being able to show it to Maura.

"He's kinda cool looking, isn't he?" Kirtley asked.

"Very," Maura murmured, getting her phone out of her purse to take a picture. Bob's long legs were striped; he could very easily be the species the team had been searching for. "I don't suppose you know where Brock got Bob, Kirtley?"

"Nope."

Before consenting to take Maura back downstairs, Kirtley insisted showing her the room she shared with her brother. Once they rejoined the service, Maura asked the girl if she'd wait for a moment while she went to speak to "the Bishop."

"Hey, where've you been?" Booth asked as Maura walked up to him.

"Eden's sister has been giving me the grand tour," Maura said. Then she lowered her voice to ensure nobody would eavesdrop on their conversation. "Booth, do you have Hodgins' phone number? I want to send him this picture."

She showed him the photo of Bob, and Booth's eyes widened. "Holy crap—you think that's—?"

"I have no idea. I need Hodgins to identify it." He quickly gave Maura Hodgins' number, and she sent him the picture. "What do you think this might mean?" she whispered, looking on as Eden picked Kirtley up in her arms to give her a kiss on the cheek. "I don't like to hypothesize, but… it's possible we found part of that creature on Alicia, and it regenerated its leg."

"You think Eden might've done it?" Booth whispered.

"That's not my job, Seeley."

"She's an acting major, you know," Booth said. "That's what someone told me. So she could just be covering up really good."

"Well—Kirtley said the tarantula's actually Brock's. Eden's just been looking after it."

"She's been looking after her ex-fiancé's pet tarantula?" Booth asked, raising his eyebrows disbelievingly. "Did she say for how long?"

"Er…no. Just that he needed someone to watch it once he started working for a band."

"For ZZ Top, yeah," Booth said. "I'll have to ask Angela how long they've been on the road. I'm gonna go talk to Jane, tell her about this spider thing."

He gave Maura's shoulder a quick squeeze and headed towards Jane (and as soon as he departed, Kirtley made a beeline for her again). He passed a couple of bored-looking teenage boys, and he caught one of them muttering, "…glad that faggot fiancé of hers didn't show up."

Booth was about to chastise the kid for his language, but Eden's mother beat him to it. Showing up seemingly out of nowhere, she said, "Hey! Do you bless the sacrament with that mouth?" When stunned silence was the boy's only response, she continued, "If I hear you using language like that in my house again, Robert, I will have to ask you to leave. Bishop Isles," she said to Booth. "Were you looking for someone?"

"Uh—just needed to get over to Detective Rizzoli, thanks," he said.

He had nearly reached Jane when Maura came up to him. Not wanting to chance being overheard (this part of the room was significantly more crowded), she merely handed him her phone, which had a message from Hodgins: Not it. That's a Brazilian White Striped Spider. We're looking for a Costa Rican Zebra one. Still pretty rare, though—you may want to find out where they got it!

"Can't believe him," Booth muttered, handing Maura back the phone. "We're in a murder investigation, and he wants us to find out how we might get him a rare tarantula!"

"I think his point might have been that if we find out where Brock got this rare breed of tarantula, we might find a dealer who would've had a Costa Rican Zebra," Maura deduced.

"…oh. That makes sense," Booth said as they walked up to Jane.

"Bishop," said Jane, gravely shaking his hand. "I—"

"Oh, Bishop," interrupted a man Booth had been talking to earlier. "You don't know her, but Detective Rizzoli is just the person you'd want working on a case like this. She's kind of famous in Boston."

Booth smiled, knowing how awkward Jane was about compliments. "Really!"

"Yeah! Once she shot a rogue cop through her own stomach to—"

"Uh, sir?" Jane cut in, looking very embarrassed. "Please don't. This night is supposed to be about Alicia." Looking sufficiently humbled, the man shuffled away. "Don't listen to him," Jane said. "I'm just a cop. No big." She cleared her throat. "Sister Isles, actually I was wondering if I could talk to you."

"Right now?" Maura asked, raising her eyebrows. Is this really the appropriate place?

"Afterwards." Looking utterly serious, she mouthed word, alone.

"Certainly, detective."

The service lasted about another hour before the final stragglers had left. Booth offered to stay behind and assist in cleaning up, and though the Carlisles insisted it wasn't necessary (behold, the plus side to having nine kids), he said it would give him a good opportunity to discuss things he had overheard with them, maybe get some insight on their perspective. This they agreed to, and Booth asked Jane if she wouldn't mind taking Maura home. Jane quietly said she'd do it, and she gave Booth back his own car keys and Booth tossed Maura's back to her.

"Guess you're driving, then," Jane said as she and Maura walked outside. The night air was wonderfully refreshing after being stuffed in a house with crowded with so many people. It was cold enough that Jane could see her breath when she had spoken. All she got by way of response was a stiff nod from Maura, and they both got into the car. They drove in silence to the end of the street, at which time Jane decided she just needed to say something. If she got out even just one word, it would force her to keep talking, to go, to get it all out. "I…" The singular syllable hung in the air for a while, alone, sad sounding. Both women were staring out straight ahead, which Jane had to admit was not quite the way she wanted this conversation to go, but she couldn't stop now. "I realize I didn't really …uh… do that right."

"Do what right?" Maura asked. When her only answer was an embarrassed silence, she pressed, "Are you referring to the statement you made just before Booth arrived? About my having any Rizzoli I wanted?"

"Yes, I'm referring to that," Jane said flatly, idly kneading her hands. "It just kind of came out of me—I was being stupid. Dramatic. That's not what I wanted to say."

"You take it back?" Maura clarified, her heart sinking.

"No, no," Jane said quickly. She took a deep breath and sighed heavily. This was all coming out wrong. "That's not how I wanted to say it."

"To say what?" Maura asked.

"I…" Jane sighed again. "Maura, pull over."

"Why?"

"I can't talk to you like this; I can't tell you like this. Stop the car."

Maura pulled over when she got the chance a few moments later, and Jane got out of the car. They had recently re-entered a part of town she knew well, and making sure that Maura was behind her, she headed for a bench that was a few yards away. As it was the evening before Thanksgiving, there were hardly any people out at all, except those driving quickly by for last-minute grocery store runs. It was dark, but a nearby streetlamp provided all the light Jane needed to sit down and look at Maura when the woman sat anxiously next to her.

"Okay," Jane said in a shallow whisper. She hadn't intended to say the word aloud, but it just issued out of her, spoken as she tried to calm herself down. Don't be nervous. Maura must have at least some idea of what this is about; I mean, you were pretty straightforward. And she hasn't done anything to indicate a necessarily negative reaction, right? She'd have stopped you before now. With this in mind, Jane felt slightly more emboldened and said, "Maura. I've been thinking a lot lately."

"Well that's your job, isn't it?" Maura asked innocently. "It requires a lot of thought and consideration."

Jane smiled lightly. "Not about my job. About you. Well…" She snorted a short laugh, rubbing her neck and looking away. "I think about you a lot, regardless. I've been thinking a lot about, uh… you and me. Our—relationship. I gotta be honest, Maura, I hope this doesn't freak you out—I don't think it's fair just calling it a friendship. I mean I know we're not like, uh, lovers, but sometimes I… I dunno, it just doesn't feel right only calling you a friend. You were on my case about Angela, and you've asked me before why I don't settle down. And most of the time, there was at least some truth to the excuses I gave you. I do worry about how my job affects relationships. I do frustrate potential partners by putting off, uh… real intimacy. I do struggle to make real connections. And I think I—I know I've not been living up to the potential of the human experience. My potential joy."

She was now looking Maura cautiously in the eye. A long pause followed her statement, giving Maura the opportunity to say Jane should stop, that this was going in the wrong direction. But she remained silent, her lips pursed and her brow furrowed in serious contemplation of what she was hearing and otherwise observing. Her eyes did not leave Jane's, and her silence tacitly indicated that Jane should go on.

So, in a forcedly steady voice, Jane continued: "I have been holding myself back, Maura. I have been denying myself that joy. Because I—I…" Tears came upon her out of nowhere, and she impatiently brushed them aside, grasping Maura's hand when the woman extended it. "I just love you so much," she finally said in a weak whisper. She bent over and quickly pressed her lips to the back of Maura's hand before looking up tearfully to catch her gaze. "I love you, Maura. I know I've said that before, because friends can say that to each other, and we are friends. But I really want it to be more, and that's why I haven't been able to make it work with anyone else, because they're not you. Because …you're it. I never get tired of talking to you, of being with you. Whenever something in my life goes right, you're the first person I want to tell. I want you to make you proud, to make you happy." Cards on the table. "Right now—for a long time—I've been trying to look in my future, and I can't see it without you being seriously involved. Even more seriously than you are now, I mean. I just see your face."

There was so much more she could have said, so much more she had planned on saying: that she often considered her meaningful conversations and hang-out sessions with Maura more inviting and romantic than most of the time she had spent with other women. That she dreamt of happiness with Maura, but had been too afraid of admitting it and ruining everything. That she needed to finally get this off her chest, because even if Maura rebuked her, at least Jane would know for sure, and then could maybe finally make a real connection with someone, on every level. But she never got the chance.

Maura had cut her off with a kiss before Jane could keep rambling.

Her right hand was still clutching Jane's on her lap, and her left had risen up to touch Jane's cheek and pull her closer. And Jane melted. She had always thought was a silly, cheesy way to describe a feeling, but in retrospect she knew it was the only word appropriate to use. Maura had initiated a kiss, and Jane completely melted to her touch. She felt breathless and full of life all at once, barely able to react because she was basically in shock. Maura broke off the kiss but did not pull back; she briefly wetted her lips and allowed Jane the time to instigate action, which she did by gently shifting her free hand to the back of Maura's neck and turning her head slightly for another kiss. Maura's eyes closed again in wonderful ecstasy, her arms moving around Jane's back, to hold her close and keep her close.

When Jane broke off the kiss for air, Maura mumbled something incoherent. "What?" Jane whispered.

"I said I want to be with you," Maura said in a rushed, quiet voice. "Jane, I want to be with you."

Jane laughed nervously through her tears. "Oh, my gosh. Are you serious?"

Maura's brow furrowed again. "Why would you think I wasn't being serious?"

"I can't…I just can't believe it," Jane said weakly, stroking her thumb across Maura's cheek.

"I didn't know it until relatively recently myself," Maura said. "But I know it now, Jane. I was afraid …I was afraid, too. But I want to do this."

"'This,' like…"

Maura smiled and leaned in for another kiss. "This."

A/N: So, yeah. One more little hurdle in the future (a.k.a. Thanksgiving and all the fun drinking/drama that holiday often involves), but then Rizzles will be together for-eva, and hopefully I'll find a way to make B&B work, haha.