A/N – Thank you again for such kind reviews. I love to know what you guys think. It's nice to know that you think I'm handling this subject well, as I have aired once before that I was nervous about covering this subject. I just hope I'm doing it justice. There's a lot left to cover in this fan fic, loads of twists and turns, so watch out. There's still a long journey for Aaron.
I've had a few requests for me to carry on with my other fanfics. I will be! Don't worry. But I've being giving this one a lot of attention and been neglecting the others. So I Will try to update two of the others at least this week. So bear with me.
Please read, review and enjoy!
It was no use. DC Stacey got to her feet and kneeled beside Aaron. "Go get a member of his family." She ordered Appel.
He couldn't breathe! Why couldn't he breathe? He was struggling for a breath now. DC Stacey wasn't helping crowding his space. He couldn't cope. He pushed his chair away and stood up, backing into the corner.
"You need to take deep breaths." Stacey told him.
"What's going on?" Paddy asked as he entered the room, seeing Aaron standing in the corner obviously having a panic attack. Carefully he made his way towards Aaron, making DC Stacey take a few steps back. "Aaron you need to breath, copy exactly what I do." Paddy told him, taking hold of his hands in his. He felt like he was going back a few months. Aaron had had a panic attack then, in their kitchen while Chas was getting him to help her with tea. He'd managed to get Aaron calm again but he didn't think he could this time.
He felt a little better Paddy was there with him now but he couldn't do what he was telling him to. The more he tried to get his breathing even the harder it became. His lungs were burning now.
"I've called an ambulance." DC Appel said as he returned to the room.
"What?" Paddy snapped. He knew it would be the least Aaron wanted.
"Station procedure." DC Stacey defended.
"No, I'm fine." Aaron panted, squinting his eyes closed.
"Far from it." Paddy laughed, trying to make the tension lighter in the room.
"Just give me a minute." Aaron breathed, beginning to get a handle on his breathing but ever so slowly.
Paddy took a step back, giving Aaron space. He shot a look over his shoulder at the other man in the room for his stupid actions. There was no need to call an ambulance.
"You can cancel that ambulance now." Paddy said bitterly to DC Appel when Aaron seemed to be calm.
With a glare towards Paddy DC Appel left the room to do as he was told by the vet.
"Have we finished here?" Paddy asked DC Stacey. He wanted to get Aaron home. He'd experienced far to much in the past few days.
"Not quite yet. We'll need to get pictures of Aaron's injuries." DC Stacey informed them, sending Aaron into a state of shock yet again. He didn't expect that. He thought he'd tell them what happened and be out. He didn't want any body taking pictures of his bruising; most of them were hidden by his clothing. "Don't worry, in your own time. There's no rush." She added.
"Come on Aaron, let's go get a coffee." Paddy told him as he began to guide him out of the room.
Paddy sat Aaron in the corner of the waiting room with Jackson as he explained to Chas about Aaron's panic attack while he got them all a coffee. He added extra sugar to Aaron's usual four spoonfuls.
"He's gonna be okay right?" Chas asked for assurance. She feared that her son was effected more than he was letting on.
Paddy gave her a small smile. "I'm sure he will be. We just need to be there for him. It's going to take a while, though."
They went back over to the younger men handed them their hot drinks. Aaron took his and attentively sipped from the plastic cup. All time avoiding everyone's gaze. He was ashamed of himself. He should have kept himself together a lot more than that. He'd let himself down, them down. He needed to be strong, get through this and then everything could go back to normal. Hopefully he could be the boyfriend that Jackson deserved. Not this pathetic wreck of an excuse. He'd caused so much drama for Jackson.
"You guys don't have to stay." Aaron said quietly.
"Nonsense! Of course we're staying." Paddy exclaimed. "You need us."
"Yeah but Paddy haven't you got work in the morning." Aaron argued, he didn't want them to feel as though they had to stay. "And you Jackson."
"Aaron, listen to me carefully." Jackson said, daring enough to place a hand on Aaron's. "We're here for you okay. No matter how hard you try you're not pushing us away from you this time. Every step of the way through we'll be right behind you, okay? No matter what."
Aaron smiled. It was good to know they were there for him.
He drank the rest of his coffee, not caring that it was too hot and slid uncomfortably down his throat. It dragged the attention away from his nerves. He took one shaky breath out and got to his feet. "I'm. . .I'm gonna go get it over with." He mumbled.
"Do you want me to come? I can if you want." Jackson offered, he wanted to be their for the younger man.
Aaron thought about it. He so desperately wanted Jackson there with him. But then he didn't want Jackson to see, he wasn't ready yet. He didn't want Jackson to see the ugly marks Darrel had left on his body. He could barely look at them his self. "Nah you're alright." Aaron shrugged.
"Aaron. . ." Jackson reminded him. He didn't want him to feel as though he was on his own.
He looked down towards the floor. He did need Jackson. He really did.
"I don't know. . .Jackson I- yeah." Aaron said quickly before he would regret it.
Jackson's heart filled with love towards the younger man. He knew how much of a struggle the mechanic was going through. It was a break through that Aaron wanted him there with him.
"Come on then." Jackson said.
They waited in a small room for a police officer with a camera to arrive. The walls were painted white and strangely reminded Aaron of a hospital. When the Police officer arrived Aaron was nearly wearing holes into the linoleum flooring with all his pacing. His nerves were clearly showing. The officer had a list of all the injuries Aaron had explained to them in the interview written down on a piece of paper. She thought it best to start with the face and head before moving down. He'd never had some many pictures taken of his face or head in so many different angles. Jackson sat in the corner patiently, watching them carefully. He knew Aaron didn't want him to see the injuries he had gotten but he needed to. He wanted to know exactly what Darrel had done to him. He just hoped that for Darrel's sake he never met him again. He didn't know what he would do if he did.
The part that Aaron dreaded came quicker than he thought. He was literally shaking as he unzipped his hoodie and removed his t-shirt to reveal the ugly bruising marking his toned torso. The police officer first took pictures of his neck and then every part of his arms, chest, stomach and back that had bruising or any mark at all. Jackson was horrified. How could someone inflict so much pain on somebody? He couldn't tear his eyes away from Aaron's body. Not like before when he was amazed by Aaron's slim stomach and toned chest. No, it was because he couldn't stop staring at the ugly mass of bruising. The younger man's throat was tainted a horrible yellowish colour, mixed with purple. A long his shoulders dark bruising shaped like hands marks covered his skin and his chest was just as bad. On his lower back a huge bruise spread across his spine, it explained why the other night he found it uncomfortable to sit down properly. He lost count of all his bruising.
He could feel him staring. He felt humiliated. He was standing a room with no shirt on while a silly little police officer snapped pictures of his body and Jackson just stared at him. He was disgusted he could tell. He couldn't blame him, he was as well. He no longer felt like his body belonged to him anymore, not with the foreign markings from hands he didn't want to remember. He bit back the tears that threatened to fall and concentrated on a spot on the wall in front of him. He tried so hard to imagine himself somewhere else. Any where but there was far better. He fought so hard to stay in the place in his head, he was on a beach somewhere with Jackson and Clyde. Clyde was running in and out of the sea, playing with the waves as both of them laid on the sand in the sun. He felt safe.
He began to feel himself being torn abruptly from the scene in his head when the officer asked him to lower his trackies. She needed to take pictures of the bruising on his hips and thighs. He squinted his eyes closed, he couldn't. He'd found it hard enough to remove his t-shirt. He couldn't do it. He felt an arm slid gently round his shoulders and smelt Jackson.
"Babe you can do this." Jackson told him firmly.
Aaron shook his head. No he couldn't.
Jackson reached behind him an grabbed up Aaron's t-shirt he had thrown onto the side table. He pulled it over Aaron's head and began to dress him again. "Put this on." He told him.
Aaron pushed his arm's through the sleeves as he was told, feeling a lot less open.
"Now, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." Jackson whispered in his ear as he placed his forehead against his head and placed a hand on Aaron's face.
Taking a deep breath to help calm his nerves he began to loosen the drawstring on his trackies and slowly slid them down his hips. He let them drop round his ankles and closed his eyes. He didn't want to watch the police photographer taking the pictures. He'd seen the bruises enough when he was getting dressed or washed, they only reminded him of how close he'd come to being raped and the thought chilled his core. Jackson stayed beside him, far enough away to not be in the pictures but close enough to hold Aaron's hand to assure him he was there. He could feel Aaron shaking in his grip and it made his heart clench.
It seemed like hours, but in fact it had only been half an hour before they were finished. Aaron quickly got dressed again, tying a double knot in his trackies and zipping his hoodie all the way up. Jackson had never known Aaron to tie his trackies up, he usually let them slip halfway down his arse like a typical chav. The amount of times he'd told Aaron to pull them up he'd lost count. He never listened. But now he was doing it without being told. He was gonna have to work on getting the old Aaron back, the Aaron who was comfortable to walk around the village with his trackies halfway down his arse. Who would also run downstairs in just his boxers and even dare to nip into the surgery to talk to Paddy when he could risk being caught by a few of the vets clients. He knew it was gonna be a long while till Aaron tried that again.
The finished up at the police station. The police spoke to Jackson, Paddy and Sammi before they left and told Aaron that they would be contacting him when they progressed more. They informed him that they were taking his allegations seriously and they would be arresting Darrel that night if they were lucky. Aaron was just glad to be going home. He switched off when the police began to telling him about how they would be going about things, how it all worked. He just wanted to go home and forget about it for now.
When they got back to Smithy Cottage he went straight upstairs without a word to anyone. Jackson stayed downstairs with Chas and Paddy. He didn't want to over crowd Aaron and he wanted to speak to his mum.
"Well that's that done." Chas sighed as she scooped a lock of hair from the edge of her face.
"For now . . ." Paddy reminded her.
"How did it all go?" Hazel asked, she'd been thinking about them while they'd been at the station.
"Fine I suppose. He managed to tell them and they're taking action against Darrel." Jackson told her. "He had a bit of a wobble though."
"Wobble?" Hazel questioned. It didn't sound like Aaron, all the time she'd known him she'd never known him to 'wobble'.
"Panic attack." Paddy told her.
"Oh, is he okay?" She asked, feeling sorry for the young man.
"As expected." Chas answered. "He's not going to be skipping down the street any time soon."
"Would he have before?" Paddy giggled as he imagined Aaron doing just that.
Chas shook her head. "I suppose I should let Cain know what's going on."
"Cain?" Paddy said confused.
"Well yes, Cain, he needs to know why Aaron won't be working for a while." Chas told Paddy. She needed to tell her brother. "I'll tell him not to say anything, don't worry."
"Aaron won't be happy." Paddy told her.
"He's not gonna be happy anyway. Beside's he won't know." She said before putting her coat back on and leaving.
The next day Aaron was determined to forget about it all. He got up like usual, showered and dressed before rushing downstairs to grab a cup of coffee. He left Jackson upstairs in bed as he left the house for work. He was going to go back to work and keep his mind busy with all the broken cars to avoid his mind from straying towards Darrel. He was surprised when Cain looked shocked to see him.
"What you doing at work?" Cain mouthed off.
"I work here, don't I?" Aaron answered back as he walked past him to get a few tools.
"Yeah, but I didn't expect you in today." Cain told him. "You sure you want to be here today?"
Aaron glared at him. He knew. Who had told him?
"Alright." Cain breathed holding his hands up in mock surrender before backing off to a car he had been fixing.
Everything seemed to be okay all morning. He hadn't thought about it all or at least let his mind linger to long. He kept himself busy trying to change tires, oil and fix engines all morning. If he could keep it up he knew he would be able to get through it all and forget about it. He just needed the others to do the same. Jackson arrived at the garage mid morning. Not looking too happy to say the least.
"Why are you working?" Jackson asked him as he strolled towards him.
"I need the money." Aaron answered him shortly. He didn't want to be treated any differently.
Jackson cocked an eyebrow.
"Just leave me." Aaron told him. He could do without the special treatment.
"Whatever. Just wondering if you wanted lunch in the pub today? My treat." Jackson offered as Aaron ducked his head back underneath the bonnet of a car.
"Sure." Aaron answered him. If he was going to get back to normal, that meant meeting Jackson in the pub for lunch as well.
"Great, see you then." The older man said before disappearing back down the gravel forecourt.
On his lunch break he began to make his way towards the woolpack. He spotted Jackson in the corner of the pub as soon as he entered and began to make his way over. Half towards him Bob saw him.
"I hope there's not going to be a repeat of last time." He warned. He wanted to keep his job and if Diane got wind of it happening again she would be furious.
Aaron shot him a glare before taking a seat opposite Jackson.
"You okay?" Jackson asked, sliding a pint of beer towards his boyfriend.
"Yeah." Aaron answered before taking a big sip of the cool liquid.
"Good." Jackson answered. "I've ordered us both in steak and chips each."
He wasn't really that hungry. His appetite had diminished since his encounters with Darrel. He couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten a proper meal. Jackson had noticed. That's why he'd arranged to meet him in the woolpack for lunch and had ordered before he got there. He wasn't going to give him a choice. He was going to have a decent meal. The Aaron he knew would eat non-stop. Constantly he would see Aaron munching on something. It seemed he was never full.
Marlon brought the meals out from the kitchen and placed them on the table in front of them. Jackson soon tucked into his, starving after a full mornings work at Dale head. He was nearly finished there. Not long till he could start on his other jobs he had lined up. He noticed Aaron drag out the task of unwrapping his cutlery from the napkin and push a few chips around his plate, before actually placing one in his mouth. He chewed slowly as if he was forced to eat a bug.
"Chips are good. Your cousin can cook unlike you." Jackson said making light conversation.
Aaron nodded. Ignoring the banter that Jackson threw his way.
"Aaron. . ." Jackson called out.
"What?" Aaron snapped.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Jackson questioned. "We don't have to. We can go grab something at home if you want." He added indicating his head towards Aaron's full plate. He'd already eaten half of his.
"Nah, I'm just not that hungry." Aaron told him.
Jackson raised an eyebrow. "Aaron livesy not hungry. Wow, that's a first." He laughed.
"There's a first for everything." Aaron shot back. "I've gotta get back to work." He lied pushing his plate away.
"I'm sure Cain won't mind you being late by a few minutes. You haven't finished." Jackson told him, worried for the younger man.
"I said. I'm. Not. Hungry." He reminded the builder punctuating each word.
Jackson rolled his eyes and sighed as Aaron left the woolpack.
"Everything all right?" Adam asked Jackson. He'd just entered the bump as Aaron had stormed past him without a word.
"No, not really." Jackson admitted. "Steak and chips?" He offered pointing to Aaron's barely touched plate.
"Don't mind if I do." Adam grinned as he took his friends seat and began to devour Aaron's meal.
"At least someone will eat it." Jackson sighed.
"How come Aaron didn't? Is he feeling okay? He never passes up the offer of food." Adam said.
"Let's just say he's got a lot on his mind at the moment." Jackson explained.
Adam stopped munching on the food and looked up at Jackson. Aaron with a lot of things on his mind was never a good thing. "What's wrong?"
"I can't say, he would kill me." Jackson told him. "It's best if you ask him."