. . . . .

The Cullens didn't hold family meetings often, but when they did, they were of high importance. I'd been included in the gatherings since the threat of Victoria and then the Volutri had made it necessary for me to be part of their wrangling.

But for some reason, this family meeting felt different. Sure, I'd been the focus of meetings before—far too many times, and usually due to something klutzy I'd done to inadvertently center the drama on myself—but this time, Edward had called the meeting to discuss our future.

Specifically, my future with the Cullens.

I had no idea what to expect, but I was so nervous that I was shaking. Edward put his hand on my knee as we pulled up in front of his house to reassure me.

"Bella, it's fine." His reassuring voice did little to stop my edgy trembling. "We just need to settle some details about how we're going to handle the transition after we graduate, and you're part of that decision. We can't stay in Forks forever—people will notice that we haven't aged in years. If we change you…"

I glared at him and he cleared his throat and started again.

"Once I change you, it will be too obvious that you're different. So it's important that we figure out the logistics. We'll need to put some things in motion now so our departure doesn't look sudden, especially when it comes to Carlisle's job. Or your leaving with us."

The explanation made sense, but I still felt uncomfortable. Actually, I hadn't felt comfortable around the Cullens in a long time. I kept expecting that Edward or Alice would have spilled my secret to everyone, and that they'd gang up on me and punish me for cheating on Edward. I was sure they all sensed that things were wrong, I just didn't know who knew what or how much they knew, and that made me even more uneasy.

Carlisle, Esme, Jasper and Emmett were already at the table when we walked through the door. Edward took my jacket and Esme rose to give me a kiss on the cheek. She'd made a mug of tea and smiled kindly as she set the steaming cup in front of me. I could barely meet her gaze—what if she knew what I'd done? What if she knew how I'd been hurting her favorite son? But there was no animosity in her kind gaze, and it put me at slightly more ease as I settled into the kitchen chair.

Alice and Rosalie came flitting down the stairs. Rose gave me a half-glare and Alice tiptoed over to hug me delicately.

Once we were all in our places, Edward cleared his throat and Carlisle started the meeting. "There are going to be a lot of changes for us in the next months and into next year, and Edward and I agreed that we should talk about it as a family and decide which steps to take. As of now, it looks like we'll need to be moving on in the next six months or so. You'll be graduating," he motioned to all of us. "That means that you'll either need to head off to college or start jobs, and the fact that you all look exactly the same as you did when we moved here will become even more obvious as your peers age."

He turned his attention to me and Edward, eyeing us tentatively. "And if Bella and Edward go through with their plan, we will definitely need to move to avoid people noticing that Bella is different. Everyone who knew her before will have to be cut out of her life. Even if we stayed here and Edward and Bella moved away, we would invite problems if they came back to visit us, or when people began to wonder why they never visit."

Rosalie groaned and slumped in her chair. "Here they go again, making it difficult for all of us."

"No, Rosalie, you know that's not true," Carlisle's patience always surprised me. "Regardless of what they choose, we always knew we'd have to be moving on shortly after you graduated—or even before, if people began to get suspicious. Our ageless bodies will always pose a problem, and that has and will have nothing to do with what Edward and Bella choose."

Edward cleared his throat again and stood up. "I'd like to make a suggestion." He looked down at me, blinked twice and then focused on Carlisle's face.

"I'd like to wait to change Bella for at least a year. Maybe two." I squeaked my disapproval, but he put his hand up to silence me. "I suggest that we find a college that all of us agree on in a place where you and Esme also want to live. We can get a house there and live like we have—together—until Bella and I decide to get married or take another route."

Carlisle nodded, and everyone else in the family stared at me and my open mouth. I couldn't believe Edward was posing this to his family before talking to me about it. I knew why he was doing it this way, but it didn't lessen the sting. It felt like rejection even though I knew I should view it as his kindness and dedication to making me happy.

Rosalie shrugged and put her hands flat on the table. She glared at me and Edward, then fixed her eyes on me. "Really, I don't care one way or the other. Do whatever you're going to do and get on with it. All of this back-and-forth is exhausting me. Make up your mind already so the rest of us can get on with our non-lives and have a little peace."

Emmett patted her back warningly, and Alice and Jasper stared at the table. It appeared that Edward's suggestion had been accepted without argument. I wasn't ready to accept that.

"Wait. I have something to say," I stood up next to Edward, first looking into his face and then into each of the faces around the table. "I want to be part of this family, and I want to do it right. I want you to change me, like we'd agreed, after graduation. It will make everything so much easier for everyone."

No one moved. They were all stone, seated silently and staring down. I was the only thing breathing, moving, living in the house. The thought occurred to me as it never had before. I wanted to add more to my persuasive speech, but I suddenly had nothing left to say. My plight seemed silly, trivial. Dumb.

Edward turned to face me. "I just don't think that's wise. You, making that decision right now."

His quiet voice barely traveled the distance between us, but I knew everyone else had heard him loud and clear.

"And why is that?" I was feeling brave, wanting to push him for some reason.

"You know why, Bella." He looked at me, and then down at the table as if he were ashamed.

"No, Edward. I don't know. Why don't you explain to me why I should suddenly be treated like a child who can't make decisions about her own future." I was almost yelling. Edward was unfazed.

His voice was cold, clear, barely above a whisper:

"Because you have been wavering. Your decision used to be clear, but it isn't anymore."

My chest tightened and I tried to argue back, but my mouth just hung open. What did he mean?

"Alice. Tell her." His eyes never left me, and Alice's wind-chimey voice whispered the words I was afraid to hear.

"I can't see him, but there is little doubt about who he is. In either case, Bella, I've been seeing him—well, the blind spots he creates in your future—for a while. And it's only getting more frequent." She paused as I continued to gape, my face growing hot. "I can't always see your future with Edward."

"He's my friend." I hissed back, glaring bitterly at Edward. Why was he doing this? Why was he embarrassing me in front of his entire family? The family that was supposed to be mine in just a few short months.

"That may be true, but he loves you. And there is more between you two now than there ever has been before. That's clear, and I think it's only fair and right to wait until you have really made up your mind." Edward's voice was still even, but I could hear the sadness in his tone.

"You think. You always think, don't you, Edward?" I couldn't hide my frustration, and I attacked him with angry words. "You do your share of thinking and all of mine, too, these days. I'm telling you that I choose you. I have always chosen you. You're the one. I've chosen my life and I want to start living it. Now."

Edward reached out for me and I backed away from his hand.

"No. Don't placate me. I'm not a child. I'm supposed to be your wife, your equal in a few months. Don't act like I'm not able to decide that."

Edward stepped forward toward me, and this time I let his hand settle on my shoulder. The rest of the Cullens were still starting down at the table, silent as death, and it was easy to forget they were even there. I was suddenly embarrassed about my outburst.

"Bella, you know I love you. You know I've chosen you and that will never change. But I have no options for my future. You have your entire human life ahead of you, and I won't take that from you if there's ever a chance you'll change your mind. Until Alice can tell me without a doubt that you've chosen me and there is no one but me in your present and future, I won't change you. And I won't let any of them change you. This is too important. You are too important. Your life, your happiness are too important."

I felt Jasper's calming influence wash over me. I looked up sharply, and he was staring at me. His eyes boring into me, the corners of his lips turned down, his face sad and resolute. I pushed back at first, glaring at him. But he looked so broken and so distraught that I gave up the fight and let him win. I took a deep breath and let my anger evaporate, let Jasper fill me with peace and understanding.

I took Edward's hand and sat down.

. . . . .

On the silent drive home, I made up my mind that I would choose Edward. I would stop calling Jacob, stop taking his calls and texts. I wouldn't spend time alone with him; I wouldn't make excuses to be with him. I would be Edward's, like I'd promised. I would show him that he could trust me. That he could change me. And then I'd have what I'd wanted. I'd be like him and we could start our life together. Forever. Like it was supposed to be.

. . . . .