Chapter 10 Part 3

We continued our walk all the way down to a small hillside on the boundary of the grass of the forest and the sand of the desert. They stopped and made camp there for the night. Kankuro sat me down on a soft patch of grass and moved away to go and help Temari set up the tents and made a little fire in a bare area.

I sat and watched the two of them messing around as they did their jobs, as if they were younger. It was nice to see that even if the three of them were fighting the night before, they could kind of find a truce and have fun again. It made me realize how alone I really was, too. I was something that could be taken in and thrown out of this group of siblings as if I were a piece of trash. I wasn't important to any of them, so what was the point of staying? Why did I come here in the first place?

"Thinking?" Gaara said, shaking me out of my thoughts. I looked up, and he was there, standing beside me, watching his siblings as well.

"Does that surprise you or something?" I asked, my mouth a grim line.

"Do you always have to act like a pissed off cat when I'm around?" He shot coldly, sitting down in the grass beside me.

We were both silent for a second, looking at different things off in the horizon. Finally he just sighed and ran one of his hands through his bright red hair and placed his hands behind him as he stretched out.

"I'm sure you enjoyed your little piggyback ride on Kankuro, huh?" He said, turning to me.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" I exploded, turning to him.

"I was just saying. You never complained once."

"Why should I complain when he was helping me out? That would be rude."

"I don't think he would care. He treats you like a princess; your wish is his command." He scoffed, rolling his eyes.

I just clenched my fist, grabbing a huge handful of fresh grass. I just screamed and threw them at him, covering him in a blanket of bright green grass blades. He just looked at me, and threw some back at me, covering me in grass as well. We sat there, throwing grass at each other.

Suddenly, we heard footsteps coming towards us, and we stopped to see Kankuro and Temari looking at us. They looked at each other, as well, and then started to laugh.

"You two look.. ridiculous!" Temari said in between laughs, falling to the ground.

"She started it." Gaara said, pointing at me.

"Did not." I replied, crossing my arms. "You started it, stupid."

Kankuro just laughed and sat next to his sister. "You guys sound like a bunch of kids. Weren't you the one who said adults should act like adults, Gaara?"

Gaara just stared at him and shrugged. Everyone just laughed again and we were all sitting on the grass, relaxing for the first time in what seemed what like forever. Everything seemed peaceful for a moment, but time flies too quickly.

"You two need to go and clean yourselves off." Temari said, waving her hand at Gaara and me.

"Gaara, you remember the steam a little way to the east of here, right?"

"Yeah." He said, looking over at Temari. "You don't expect me to take her along with me, do you?"

"Well, I guess." Temari said, in a tone of irritation. "You know I would take her, but I'm not strong enough to carry her. She weighs more than double my fan, and that's just saying something. Plus, you're not the type of guy to do something dirty to a girl hanging out with your family. Kankuro, he's another story."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Kankuro said, turning a shade of red.

"Oh, don't play dumb, little brother." She said, taking off his cat hat, exposing his dark brown hair. "You're a huge perv and you're just dying to get your hands on our poor little Esther here, aren't you?"

She got up and started to say stupid little things that could be taken so many different ways it wasn't even funny. With each comment, Kankuro turned a shade of red darker, until he finally couldn't take it any more.

"That's it, you little idiot!" He said, jumping to his feet. "I'm going to kill you! You're the damn perv anyway!"

Temari stuck her tongue out and started to dash down the hill, laughing as he held his hat high above her head. Cat man growled and ran after her, leaving Gaara and me watching them disappear down the hill side.

"Gaara!!" Temari yelled, her voice so loud that we heard her perfectly from our spot on top of the hill. "Bring Esther down to camp so she can get her clean clothes and junk!"

Gaara, of course, wasn't going to yell a response back. He just got up, muttering something under his breath and turned to me. I just blinked at him for a moment, looking at the grass the still clung to his hair and clothes.

"Come on." He said looking at me. "Let's go before she starts really yelling."

"Fine." I muttered. "Aren't you going to turn around?"

"No. I do things differently from my brother." He said coolly.

Suddenly, he swooped down and picked me up. I scream a little bit, because it was all a little unexpected. I latched my arms around his neck as he ran down the hill, down to where a small fire was burning ad four familiar tents were lying about. As we got down to the camp, we saw Temari and Kankuro watching us as they say around the fire.

"You two look pretty cute together." Temari said jokingly, her teasing far from over. "Watch you two be a couple later on. Wouldn't that be so nice, huh Kankuro?"

"Yeah." Kankuro said, throwing another log into the fire. He had a frown on his face, and I knew he knew that Temari was kidding. I guess my rejection was still a big let down for him.

"Aw come on, Kankuro! You know I was just kidding!" Temari said, throwing her brother a look. "It's not like Esther likes Gaara. No offense Gaara, but I don't think any girl in their right mind would seriously think of loving you."

"None taken." Gaara said, his voice the same blank tone it always was. He was good with keeping his emotions in key. But I was doubting if he actually cared for what Temari had just said, or if he really didn't care for love anymore.

"Here, put Esther down next to me while you run and get your stuff. I'll keep her company." Temari said, patting the spot beside her.

Gaara just went and put me down next to Temari and disappeared into his tent without another word. Kankuro just looked at me for a second, then concentrated on building the fire larger again.

"What a mixed up day this has been, huh Esther?" Temari asked, smiling a little bit.

"Yeah." I said, stretching my right leg out a little bit. "You cracking jokes for the first time in a while. It was nice; reminds me of the way things were the first time I was here."

"Yep." She said, nodding. "I just love teasing you and my brothers. It's like you're actually my sister, and you know I wouldn't mind that."

"Me either." I said, giving her a small hug.

Gaara came back out, a pack slung around his shoulders. He was looking at the three of us sitting around the fire, smiling and laughing. He just stared at me for a second, and some how I couldn't smile anymore.

"Oh, you're done." Temari said, turning to Gaara. "Well be back soon, because I'm about to cook dinner. Take Esther to the spot where the large rock is and let her clean up there. Be careful, okay?"

"Fine." Gaara said, coming over to me.

"Oh, here Esther." Temari said, hanging me a little sack that was tied up hastily. "I got you some clean clothes and stuff."

"Thanks Temari." I said, giving her a small smile. I turned to Kankuro, who was looking between me and Gaara. "Bye, Kankuro. See you in a little bit."

"Yeah." He said, throwing his hand back towards me. "Be careful. Water's pretty cold."

Gaara came and picked me up without another word and carried me and my sack off, to the left of where the camp was. He was walking at a leisurely pace, so I had time to admire the stars that shone brightly up in the sky above the grassy countryside.

"It's so peaceful out here." I thought out loud, leaning my head against him.

"It's peaceful everywhere, if you know where to look." He replied, looking up into the sky as well.

"I guess so. I just never had time to look, huh?" I said quietly.

"Are you mad at me?" He asked some what awkwardly.

"Huh?" I asked, caught off guard. "I should be asking you that question. You're the one hurling insults and comments at me, not the other way around. Why?"

"Because-" He started, the he shook his head, his eyes turning icy cold. "Never mind. It's not important."

There was an awkward silence following that, and I hated it. There was a barrier between us; there was things that he was holding back that I couldn't figure out. Whatever it was, it was messing him up as much as it was frustrating me.

"Why are you walking so slow?" I asked, trying to start up another conversation. "You don't like doing things slowly, right?"

"Everything has its own pace. Things that are important should be done quickly. Walking to the stream is not important, so it doesn't necessarily have to be done at a fast pace."

"You confuse me." I said truthfully, scrunching my face at him.

"Like you should be talking." He scoffed, peering down at me. "At least that guy Temari likes has it right. Women are as troublesome as they are confusing."

"Well, guys aren't that straightforward as you make them sound." I said defensively.

He just stared at me, and continued walking, and the sound of rushing water was heard faintly. I squinted, and sure enough there was a patch of stream bed a few yards away from us.

"Finally." Gaara said with a loud sigh. "I swear if I have to carrying you anymore my arms are going to fall off. You're heavy."

I let out a small huff. "Well, sorry. Not everyone is a stick like you."

He just shrugged and continued to walk, and not afterwards we got to the stream bed. We moved up the left side of the bank, and finally a huge waterfall came into view, as well as many large boulders. It was a very beautiful place, like somewhere people in our world would mark off as a trail sight or another national park.

"Pretty place." I replied, looking at the huge waterfall.

"I guess." He replied, and I had the notion that he had been to this place several times before.

We soon came to stop at a the side of a very large boulder. Gaara put me down here, and turned to face the way that we had just came.

"You're going to rinse off here." He said looking back at me. "I'll be on the other side of this boulder, a few feet away. Call me when you're done."

"Okay." I said, looking at the rushing water. "Thanks."

He just walked away without another word. I sat there for a minute, watching him walk off. I just shook my head sadly, and started to change out of my grass covered clothing. Sitting in my shift, I crept closer to the edge of the water and dipped my toes in. It was freezing! (bbbrrrrrr... cold!)

I took my toes out quickly, then stuck them back in before I could debate about going in or not. Finally I pulled my shift off and sank into the water with a small yelp.

"You alright over there?" Gaara called irritably from the other side of the rock.

"Yy-yep." I stuttered. "Just a little cold."

It was silent again, so I just sank into the water. I started to rinse out my hair, the little pieces of dirt and grass washing away from me in little streams. After many minutes, my hair was finally clean and dripping all over my back. Looking down, I saw Gaara's necklace and I sighed. There were still too many of my questions unanswered.

"Gaara?" I called, over the boulder.

"What? You done?" He called back.

"No, not yet." I said, sighing. "It's just..you.. do you not love me anymore?"

I heard nothing from across the boulder for a few moments. Maybe this was the moment I had been hoping for. Or the one I had been dreading. Finally, he spoke.

"I don't think this is the kind of place to talk about things like this." He responded.

"Well, where else can we talk? Temari and Kankuro are with us twenty four seven."

He didn't respond again, and I was pretty confuzzled for a few moments. Then, it felt like I got a brick to my head. Gaara didn't want to talk about it here, or anywhere else, even if his siblings were around. The truth was...He didn't love me anymore.

I numbly got out of the stream and started to change again, my brain a puddle of mush. As I changed into my favorite blue dress, I didn't explode or start screaming like I thought I would. All I wanted to do was get out of there and cry, safe and alone in my tent.

"I'm finished." I called out, my voice wavering.

He walked over to my side of the rock, and just stood there, looking at me. I didn't want to look up into his eyes, but I did anyway. Strangely, there wasn't a look of disgust or anger behind them. There was just his same old cold stare, but with something hiding behind his eyes, as if he didn't want me to see.

"Oh Naruto." I thought. "I seriously wish I knew what you knew. Maybe then this whole thing wouldn't be happening."

I held onto the side of the rock and pushed myself up, trying to stand up with my hurt ankle. He stepped forward, but then he stopped as he saw the single tear run my cheek. (Dang, and I said I wouldn't cry before I got to my tent.)

"You're crying." He said, staring at me.

That just set off more tears on my end. I moved my hands up to wipe them away frantically, but it did nothing to stop them. Soon, my cheeks were starting to feel irritated, and Gaara intervened and pulled my hands away from my face.

"Take a deep breath. Calm down." He said gently, holding me by the wrists.

I just started to hiccup, but finally after a few moments the tears slowed down and just fell down in small streams down my cheeks. He just looked at me for a moment, then dropped his grip on me.

"There. Enough crying."

I just nodded, feeling ashamed that I had turned into a little baby in front of him. Tears wouldn't help, except for letting my feelings out. Suddenly, a crazy idea popped into my head, and I followed through with it.

Leaning forward, I planted my lips on Gaara's before he could figure out what I was doing. I tried to focus my feelings on it, as if by this silly little kiss something miraculous could happen. Suddenly, in my head appeared an image. Though it was blurry, I could faintly make me out amongst the darkness, my head in my hands, blood running down my hands and arms as I screamed.

Gaara pushed me away abruptly, and I was too stunned for words. I looked up into his eyes, and there was something dark and evil there, and it was pretty scary. After he gave a small growl, he spoke.

"What in the world do you think you're doing?" He said through thin lips.

"I..I.." I stammered, but nothing could come out.

It was silent between us, as we stared at each other. I was shaking soon, and I had to hold on to the rock to keep myself standing. Nothing made sense anymore. It felt like a nightmare that was just starting to unfold.

"Come on. We need to be getting back before anymore stupid things happen." He said, reaching down to pick up my stuff.

I just stood there, staring at him. He thought this all was stupid? Maybe it was to him. To me, it never was. My love is not stupid.

He came over and picked me up, and I just let him, because I was tired of fighting with him. All we ever did now was fight, or so it seemed. We never said a word that entire way back to where our camp was. Once we got back to camp, I knew I had better wipe the sad look off my face or there would be questions galore from Temari and cat man, and another chance for me to turn into a water fountain.

We got back to camp to see Temari and Kankuro sitting around the now blazing fire, a cup of tea in both of their hands. They both turned to face us; Temari with a smile, cat man just staring with a blank look on his face. Gaara sat me down beside Temari and left into his tent.

"Welcome back." Temari said warmly. "How was the steam?"

"It was so cold!" I said, trying to sound happy. "Gaara didn't think so, but he's so cold I think he could even melt ice!"

Temari let out a little laugh. "So true! Gaara is too stuck up for his own good. I worry about his future as a loner."

"He's not going to be a loner." I spat out, much to the surprise of Temari.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Temari said, scrutinizing my face.

I had better cover my mistake up. "Oh, don't think of it like that, Temari!" I laughed, smacking her lightly on the arm. "All I was saying was that if Gaara truly was a loner, he would have left you guys a long time ago to live alone. I think he's actually a big baby inside, wanting the attention of his big sister and brother."

It was silent for a moment, then Temari started laughing again. "You could be right!" She laughed, getting up. "Well, I have to go and pee, but I'm hitting my tent after that. A girl needs her beauty sleep."

"Okay." I said. "Good night, Temari!"

"Night, Esther. Night, Kankuro." She said as she walked away.

I got up from the fire, stretching my legs out. Kankuro was up in a moment, staring at me.

"Does your leg hurt?" He asked, staring at my ankle.

"Not really." I said truthfully. "Other things hurt worse than that."

"Your heart?" He asked through pursed lips.

"Hm.. maybe." I said, walking over to my tent.

"I can stand this." Kankuro said, throwing his hat to the floor. "I can't just stand around while my brother hurts you like this."

"He doesn't know anything other than how to hurt people. He's never been loved, Kankuro." I said sadly. "I can't give up, no matter how hurt I get in the process. I'm strong, maybe stronger than you think."

"You don't have to go through with this. You could be with me, and leave Gaara in the past. You'll never be loved as much as you expect if you stick with him. Is that what you want?"

"All I want is Gaara to be alright. Nothing else." I said, a tear rolling down my cheek.

"If he ever hurts you again, I'm taking you away from him." Kankuro said, his tone tight. "That's a promise. You understand."

"I understand that he'll never hurt me." I spat, opening the flap of my tent. "Good night, Kankuro."

"Night."

I crawled into the blankets laid on the floor of my tent. I pulled them over my head and let a muffled scream out into my pillow. I sat shaking for a few moments, trembling of all these flooding emotions. I was sad, and angry, and hurt. Somewhere in the back of my head, I was asking myself if this was all worth it.

"It's worth it." I whispered to myself, as if I could be reassured. "This is the path that I have chosen to walk down. Pain or no pain, screaming or silence, I have to follow it all the way down. Oh Boggy Jones, save me!"

I don't know how long I just laid there, staring at the side of my tent with a heavy head and heart. By some miracle of Tammy Dodger, I finally fell into a light, restless sort of sleep.

AN: Wow.. Six whole pages to this part! Anyway, please review, and i promise there is one last part to this chappie! Thanks to Selene98, like usual.