. . . . .

Ignoring Jacob was harder than I'd expected it to be—and I hadn't expected it to be easy.

I looked for him everywhere I went, thought about him constantly. I watched for him at my window and listened for him in the wind. I expected him to show up with Billy on game days, and was disappointed when he didn't. I'd check my cell phone to make sure I hadn't missed a call, even though I knew he wouldn't be calling. Once, about a week into our me-induced separation, I'd even made some silly excuse to drive past La Push Beach in the hope that he might be surfing or swimming with the pack. But the beach was empty.

For twenty-seven long days, I was completely without him. My heart ached, but I felt like I was making progress. Things had evened out with Edward, and I was feeling like I was in control. Like I'd chosen my path and was moving toward the life I'd decided upon. Before, I'd felt myself sliding away from that place I'd always pictured myself into a darker, unknown future. But now, now I could see it again. And I was glad.

. . . . .

Then, on a Wednesday—my fourth Wednesday without Jacob—between sixth and seventh period, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and Jacob's name on the screen sent an electric jolt to my heart.

I'd explicitly told him not to call or text—or come by to visit either, for that matter. I was tempted to ignore it, but curiosity got the best of me.

I excused myself from class after the second bell and stood in the bathroom stall, staring at the text message alert.

I had to check it, right? I mean, maybe there was an emergency. Was Billy ok? The pack? Maybe Victoria had shown up again and they'd caught her scent. Maybe he had to warn me. Or was he simply as lonely for me as I was for him?

I opened the message and grinned involuntarily.

"this is stupid. get over here. please."

There was no thinking about it. I headed back to class, one hand on my stomach, willing myself to be even paler than I normally was.

"Mrs. Wright? I'm not feeling so well." I hung my head and tried to look extra pathetic.

She nodded at me and wrote me a pass. "Go to the office and have them excuse your absence. I hope you feel better tomorrow—don't forget about the quiz over chapter eighteen. You'll still need to take it."

I took the pass from her and replayed the scene in the office.

Absences excused, I jumped into my truck and decided to text Edward. I knew he'd sense the lie if I told him in person, so instead I typed a message telling him I was going home sick and I would see him in the morning.

. . . . .

My old truck rumbled over the potholed roads of the res. I'd missed this drive, and looked around at the familiar route with a smile. I'd never lived here, but somehow it always felt like coming home.

Jacob's house came into view and I pulled into the driveway, suddenly nervous. What was I doing? I didn't know what I was going to say, or how we'd break this month-long separation. Maybe most of all, I was worried that seeing him again would awaken the feelings for him that I'd been suppressing and overcoming the past month. If it did, where would that leave me and Edward? I wasn't even sure what I'd tell him, or what ground rules I'd set up. Or how I'd handle it if he tried to push me back into considering him.

I didn't have long to worry. Jacob heard my truck pull in and came running from behind his shop. He was barefoot, wearing jeans and a tight, black short-sleeved tee-shirt. I thought my heart would pound out of my chest and I realized I'd forgotten to breathe.

He didn't even wait for me to open my truck door. Instead, he flung it open for me; reaching inside, hugging me and unbuckling my seatbelt at the same time. His laughter reverberated against my chest and I breathed in the scent of his neck.

Remembering myself, I pushed him away and slid out of the truck on my own accord. The new era of Bella and Jake started now. Grinning, I put my hands on his chest to keep him from coming at me again.

"So what was so urgent that I had to come over here right away?"

"Well, for one, I missed you like hell, Swan. I know why you wanted to take a break, I get it. But I couldn't take it anymore." His sideways smile stole my breath and I had to look away to regroup. "Life sucks when you're not around."

"Ok, well, just so that we have a clear understanding. Jake, we're just friends. That's all we can be."

He nodded, but there was a glint of something in his eyes. "Ok. I get it. But you'll have to agree to letting me try to change your mind. Covertly, of course."

I put my hand on my hip and shook my head, trying to look stern.

"I can't stop you from trying, but you have to fight fair. No using these or this or these." I jabbed at his arms, stomach and lips.

He laughed and pulled me in for another hug.

"Sure, sure. No push-ups, crunches or sweet-talk. Scout's honor." He held up his hand behind my back in a mock pledge.

"No!" I squealed, giggling and stumbling backwards out of his arms. "No flexing, no running around without your shirt on, and absolutely no kissing. Or trying to make me think of kissing. Or putting your lips anywhere near mine or me. For real. Those are weapons you're not allowed to use in this fight."

"Alright. No using my secret weapons." He nodded, grinning. Then he was abruptly serious. "But I'm still going to try, Bella. I'm still going to make you see that I'm the better choice for you. I have to. I won't live without you."

I shook my head, beginning to wonder if coming over was a mistake, despite my initial glee at seeing Jake after so many weeks.

"I don't want to live without you, either, Jake. But I can't keep being torn in two like this. It's not good for any of us. I just need you to promise that you'll stop pushing me."

His nostrils flared and he stood still for a moment, thinking. His face was pained.

"I can't help it—I… I don't know how to back down. I don't know how to walk away from you, Bella."

His words made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and goosebumps started down my arms. I took a deep breath and met his eyes. "Well, you'll just have to figure it out."

He sighed and reached out a hand to me, a forced smile raising the corners of his mouth. "I understand. And I promise I'll keep it on the down-low. You won't even notice that I'm still trying."

It was my turn to hug him. I threw my arms around his middle and squeezed for dear life. I didn't want him to keep trying, to keep hurting himself and me. But I knew why he had to try. It was the same reason I had to try to make things work with Edward.

"Ok, let's lighten up this party," he laughed, twisting out of my hug and taking me by the hand. "In fact, you can help me set up for the actual party."

"Party?"

"Yeah. Tonight's tribal council and you're invited."

"Um, tribal council? That sounds a little official. Like, maybe more official than me."

He laughed and lifted our arms up in the air, spinning me under them in a clumsy dance move. I snorted and tried not to trip over my feet.

"Nothing is more official than you, Miss Swan. This is going to be a fun tribal council. There's a little business the elders have to deal with up front, but the rest of it's going to be pretty chill. More like a bonfire barbeque than a business meeting. So you're safe. I promise."

Behind his shop, Sam and Paul were busy setting up wood benches around the stone fire pit.

"I'd always wondered what went on back here. Thought it was some secret wolf voodoo meeting place, or something." I poked at Jake, amazed once again how easily we fell back into us, even after a long break. Even after an awkward breakup.

"Oh, don't be fooled. It is." Paul laughed, pausing with a bench lifted over his head. "We keep the human sacrifices in the storage shed until we're ready for them."

Sam's booming laugh washed over us. "Hey, Paul, maybe put all that extra hot air into actually moving benches instead of wasting it on teasing pretty girls you have no chance with."

Paul gestured like he was throwing the bench toward Sam, who growled in jest. Jake grinned at them and shook his head, then started stacking wood near the fire pit. I reached to help him and felt more at home than I had in weeks.

. . . . .

The other members of the tribe started arriving as dusk approached. The pack had trickled in one by one, and the set up was almost complete. Leah, Sue and Seth Clearwater came down the long driveway, each carrying a big basket. Sue directed the pack members to get the rest of the baskets from their van and went to work arranging a supermarket's worth of food on a row of three picnic tables covered with festive tablecloths.

Jake finished setting up the fire at Billy's direction, and he called me over to help light it.

"I'm not so sure I should be the one in charge of setting things on fire. It might be my hair that gets lit," I half-joked, holding up my hands in protest.

"Oh, come on, Bella. It's only fair that the hottest girl here should start the fire."

I rolled my eyes and Billy laughed at Jake's sarcastic attempt at flattery. Jacob ignored us both and put a silver lighter in my hand.

"The kindling is right through here, so all you have to do is light this piece of paper sticking out here," he gestured to an opening. "That will start the whole thing, and you don't need to go anywhere near it. You know, for safety's sake. I know what kind of handicaps we're dealing with here."

I shot him my mock-angry face and bent low to light the paper. It burst ablaze and I stepped back outside the stone circle and watched the whole pyramid of wood slowly take fire.

. . . . .

The elders spoke first, and I watched Jake's face as he studied their words. He was completely immersed in their directives, oblivious that I was studying his jaw line, his lips, his perfectly black almond-shaped eyes. I let my gaze linger over his eyelashes, the curve of his cheekbone, the pretty curl of his earlobe. Our fingers were loosely linked, our hands comfortably resting on his right thigh.

Despite that easy gesture, he had toned down the touching and flirting, and I was glad he was keeping a fair distance. Although I could still see the adoration in his eyes, I appreciated the way he was able to make me feel loved without making me feel guilty for not being able to love him in the way he wanted. I felt better about the whole situation, even though it had just been a few hours and we hadn't really discussed it in detail. It seemed that he just understood, and that didn't totally surprise me.

For the first time in a long time, I felt that this was a manageable situation. I could have Edward and my Jacob, too. And without the drama, sneaking around and late nights filled with worry and confusion. Each of us in our places in a way that suited everyone—at least until I was changed, and that was something we'd have to deal with when the time came.

At some point when I was deep in thought, Sam had risen and moved to stand in front of the elders' bench. I woke from my reverie when they summoned Jacob and he let go of my hand. He patted my knee twice as he rose, and I stared after him, wondering what I'd missed.

The oldest of the elders began to speak in a low, barely-discernible tone. But I heard enough to completely shake me from my reverie.

"Samuel Ulley, you were bestowed the honor of Alpha upon your transformation. Now that Jacob Black, grandson of our great chief Ephraim Black, is of age, the council strongly suggests the rights of Alpha be bequeathed to him as his rightful position. You will be granted Beta status if Jacob accepts and the council so votes."

Sam nodded and turned to face Jacob.

"This is your choice, and it has always been your position to accept. I will step down whenever you choose Alpha."

Jacob put his hand on Sam's upper arm, and turned to soberly address the elders. "I understand your wish to name me as Alpha, and I will be honored to accept the position. But I am still learning, and I feel it is wise for me to train under Sam for a time yet. There is still much for me to learn and I believe it will leave the pack weaker to name me Alpha while I am still in training. I ask for another six months before we vote on this rank change."

I was stunned by how grown-up he sounded. It dawned on me how much he had changed in the years I had known him, from a quiet boy to this celebrated young man. I watched his profile through the flames and felt my heart swell with pride and love.

The council elder nodded to Jacob and to Sam. "We will revisit this in a later council meeting and decide when to put it up for vote. If you change your mind before then, we will make a decision when you are ready. At that time, we will also discuss the role of your mate and define a set of duties and expectations to confirm her place within the tribe."

No one looked at me, but I burned with embarrassment as if the whole tribe had turned and stared. I gulped and tried to hold very still, to blend into my surroundings.

The elder continued, "As Emily has fulfilled her duties as the Alpha's mate, so shall your mate be expected to serve in an appropriate capacity, whether or not she is of Quileute blood. Her right to stand as your mate in front of the tribe is contingent upon acceptance of this role. I assume that has already been explained to you?"

Jacob nodded once, almost imperceptibly, and then he and Sam knelt in front of the elder as he gave them his blessing and stated his hope for a continued strong front for the pack and the tribe.

Then the elders were done, and Sue Clearwater invited everyone to help themselves to the food. She asked Sam and Jacob to go first with their partners, followed by the rest of the pack and then the elders and others. She gently reminded the pack to only take one plate to start, directing her words toward Seth, who was rubbing his audibly-growling stomach.

I was still red and a little overwhelmed when Jacob stepped through the crowd to my side. He put his hand on my hip and pulled me close. I stood silently, wondering exactly who had discussed what about me and to what conclusions they'd come. I wished I could pull Jacob aside and ask him, but I knew it wasn't the right time.

Sam and Emily started dishing up scoops of potato salad, coleslaw, fruit salad and chips. Sue was at the head of the table, pulling barbeque off of the grill and onto their plates. Jacob held up two plates and motioned to me to get into line.

"I'm not exactly your 'partner,' Jake," I said, trying to make any excuse to step out from under the words the elder had just spoken and the too-comfortable term Sue had used for me and Emily. "I'm kind of an outsider. I really should let everyone else go first."

"Don't be silly, Swan." He shook a plate at me, insisting. "Maybe she meant 'partner in crime.'"

I acquiesced to his wink and sideways grin, shaking my head at his ridiculous explanation, and took the plate, helping myself to a little of everything except the barbeque.

We sat by Emily and Sam, and the guys distracted each other with talk of patrols and schedules.

Emily smiled at me and motioned toward Jacob.

"I'm glad you guys are back to being friends again. The last weeks were hard on Jake. The guys were always giving him a rough time about thinking about you non-stop, so he must have really been missing you."

I smiled at her. "I'm glad, too. I missed him. I just needed… a break. I wasn't able to make good decisions with him so close. He's, um, distracting."

She winked and giggled, obviously assessing his fitted shirt and low-slung jeans. "I can see that."

"It's going to be ok now," I said, trying to convince myself. "I know where we stand. Where I stand. And what I have to do. It's all going to work out."

Emily nodded slowly, taking a bite of watermelon in an obvious attempt to stop herself from responding.

"Emily, I'm not Jacob's imprint." It sounded more defensive than I'd meant it, so I tried to temper the phrase. "They weren't talking about me."

She nodded again, but I knew she wasn't agreeing with me.

"Sometimes it chooses you, Bella."

"But I've chosen differently, Emily." I tucked my hands under my knees to stop them from shaking. "I realized what I was doing was unfair. I think it was just that we were such good friends, you know? I was having a hard time compartmentalizing exactly what kind of love I was feeling for him. I've figured it out now, and we talked about it. Sort of. Anyway, we're really just friends now. No more crossing the line. So they definitely weren't talking about me."

"Well, that's too bad, then." She still looked defiant, but I pretended to take her at her words. "Because you're a natural fit. Both for Jacob and for the responsibility of Alpha's partner. I took to it right away, and I know you would, too. We're a lot alike."

I shook my head at her and stuffed a bite of potato salad into my mouth so I couldn't respond.

I was uncomfortable and a little too comfortable with what she was saying all at the same time, and I didn't like it.

. . . . .

"Jake, is this going to work?" I turned to him after he'd parked my truck in front of my house.

"This?"

"Yeah, you know, us being just friends. After… that kiss and all."

"Bells, I'll be whatever you need me to be. Whatever you want me to be. If that's just a friend, that's what I'll be."

"I know, and I'm glad. But, well, when the elders were talking about the alpha and his mate's responsibilities?" He wouldn't look at me. I knew my hunch was right. I changed my next question into a statement. "They were talking about me, weren't they."

Jacob chewed his cheek nervously and wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Weren't they." I insisted, not sure what I wanted him to say, but knowing I needed him to say something.

"Yes."

"Why? Why me? I mean, how do they even know about me? How do they know that you won't imprint on someone else? Like Sam with Emily? I mean, they probably talked about Leah that way, too. And now she's nothing to him."

Jacob's head snapped up. "She's not nothing, Bella. He still loves her. You have no idea how much it tears him up inside to have imprinted on Emily when he loved Leah for so long."

"Oh, I think I have an idea."

He stared at me, and it seemed to dawn on him for the first time how torn I really was. I felt guilty for saying it. For letting him see how my feelings for Edward wavered. For letting him see that he would always be second-best even though my heart wanted him, too.

He inhaled sharply. "In any case, they were talking about a mate, not you by name. So calm down—you can pretend they were talking about someone else. But don't be surprised if they're right in the end."

I tried to argue, but he smiled slightly and added with a sarcastically mystical tone: "They know what they're talking about; they're always right. That's why they're the elders."

I laughed and lightly punched his arm.

"I'm glad we're back."

"Me, too." His grin was wide and happy. "Aren't you glad I disobeyed your commands and texted you?"

"Yeah," I nodded sheepishly. "I kinda' am. Without you is no way to live. But I'm serious about the friends thing. That's what we are. I don't think I could handle it if you kept pushing it."

"Couldn't handle it? Or wouldn't want to? Or would want to…" He raised his eyebrow suggestively, and I fake gagged.

"You're gross! Seriously, Jake. I don't want to beat it to death, but I need to know that you know where we stand."

"I do. And I respect you, Swan. I'll keep it platonic until you want otherwise. Even if I'm going to win."

His threat was lilting, but his eyes told me he meant it. I shrugged and played it off like the joke I half-wanted it to be.

"You go right ahead and try, wolf-boy. I'm stronger than you think."

He winked at me, leaned in and kissed my cheek, and was gone before the truck door slammed.

. . . . .